I'm Still Here
by With This Naked Truth
Summary: The story of two groups of apocalyptic survivors who come together in an effort to stay alive- and the eventual relationship that evolves between Daryl Dixon and the woman that not only saves their lives, but his wayward soul too. Set around the beginning of season 2 and continues through season 3. Rated M for language, adult situations, and intense violence. Enjoy. WTNT
1. Welcome to the New Age

**I'm Still Here**

**A Walking Dead fanfiction**

**Enjoy.**

* * *

The world was on fire.

Everything, as far as the eye could see, was ablaze and the air was full of a thick, acrid smoke. Flesh was burning, that of the living and the dead- that much she knew. Green eyes were hypnotized by the flames, an insistent tugging on her upper arm and a faint voice in her ear, "He's gone! We have to leave- listen to me! Run!"

A lurching figure to her right caught her gaze and she was filled with an inexplicable fear, backing away from the pyre before her.

"He's gone… He's gone."

And then they were running, escaping the flames that burned away everything she had ever known.

* * *

In the months after the outbreak, the world had become an absolute wasteland- debris and trash filled the streets and the air smelled like utter decay, a thick hanging stink of decomposition.

And the dead walked.

A reanimated corpse let out a groan, tasting the scent of prey upon the wind; something was out there and it could just smell that tasty flesh…

Heavy boots pounded against the asphalt and the running blur tackled the walker, taking its head off with a few stomps to the throat. The figure panted as a massive black German Shepard ran to its master, growling at the dead body at its feet before reaching out to lick a comforting hand. "Guys, we need to move! The herd we saw last week is moving this direction, so make sure you find everything you can. Spread out through this sector, but stay within my sight," the figure said as it stood, tucking a wayward lock of hair behind its ear. The group moved to do as they had been told, rummaging through the wreckage of cars, the highway resembling something close to a graveyard with all of the dead bodies piled up on the road and the occasional walker coming to inspect the newcomers.

"Hey, we got two moving in fast," a deep voice shouted out, the smaller figure moving up onto the top of a car to line the bodies up in her sight. There was the nearly silent spit as both fell, a sharp whistle bringing two heads popping up from behind an overturned car in a way the made the sniper smiling. "Alright, just making sure y'all were okay."

Looking out over the post-apocalyptic landscape, the figure perched atop the car inhaled the ever-present scent of death and air of hopelessness, sighing. With a glance over a tattooed shoulder, cold eyes returned to keep watch, "World's gone to shit, ain't it babe?"

Walkers.

What had seemed to be just an isolated outbreak of disease turned into an all-out, worldwide epidemic that completely decimated the human population. Normal, healthy individuals became mindless, bloodthirsty cannibals- after they died, of course, reanimating to wreak havoc on anything that breathed. They had been at the helm of the outbreak when it happened, doing their best to contain it, to protect their fellow man. And then there had been no more of that, knowing that they had to fend for themselves, to protect what was really important: family. There had been little time to prepare, the survivors only able to pack a few bags before they had to run.

And they had never stopped running since.

It was quiet for a long time until the sound of engines came over the horizon, the group running back to its leader at the sound of that all-too familiar whistle. "Put the supplies in that culvert behind the bridge and hide- I'll stay here," the slight but imposing figure said, turning back towards the tree line. "Seems like we have visitors; ain't nobody getting through this crush." They did as they were told, scattering into the dense forest, leaving their leader to prowl around the blockade.

No matter where they went, their leader was always at the helm of the group, ready to do whatever was needed to keep them all safe; it was all that mattered.

Careful eyes watched as a motorcycle slowed to confront the cars, an RV and two other cars coming to a stop behind it. There was smoke pouring from the hood of the RV, faint cursing heard from within.

"There a problem Dale?"

A long, muscular figure stepped off of the motorcycle and started towards the abandoned cars, trying to scavenge what he could even though everything looked picked clean. "There's whole bunch of shit here. Food, gas, supplies," he muttered to himself, his bow within his grasp as always.

The second group poured out of their vehicles, navigating the graveyard to find supplies- they were desperately in need of anything, everything.

A blur of tan and black caught his eye and he whirled around, raising his bow. "What the hell-"

He spun again, hearing the clatter of a hubcap against the pavement, "Guys, something ain't right! Watch yourselves!" Their leader looked at him, raising his gun and allowing his eyes to scan the scene before him. "Daryl, what's going on? What are you seeing-"

A dog moved to bare its teeth at Daryl, the hunter ready to put it down if it made one false move.

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

He looked at the woman standing there with him lined up in her sights, cocking her gun. The entirety of his group turned to aim at her, seeing her eyes grow wide before she ran at Daryl, "Infected!" Everyone turned to see the horde of walkers trudging through the wreckage towards him, the woman pushing the archer to the ground and pinning him there with her knee on his chest. "Everyone get down, now," she shouted, raising her deadly looking AK-47 to her shoulder. She started firing into the herd, the walkers falling underneath a hail of bullets that seemed too vast for only one woman to be behind. Even as they laid on the ground, hearing the pinging of ricochet around them, the survivors were in awe, surprised by the way in which the lone fighter seemed to be at ease.

Once the last walker was down she turned to the group, looking over them calmly even as she tried to slow her heaving breaths, "Y'all alright?"

Each of the shaken men and women- the two children as well- picked themselves off of the ground, a less than thankful Daryl glaring at his new-found 'savior'. "You shouldn't give me the evil eye," the woman said plainly, ignoring the intense pounding in her chest. "I coulda let the geeks overrun you, take your shit and walk off. It is a dog eat dog world after all- wouldn't you say so Fenris?"

"You making friends?"

A tall man emerged from the tree line, holding a gun at his side as his eyes traveled over the weary group of survivors. "Damn, they look worse off than we do, don't they," he asked his companion conspiratorially, the woman smiling wryly at him. "We were trained and equipped for this world- not many civilians were," she replied quietly before looking at Rick and jerking her chin at him. "You the boss man?"

He chuckled uneasily, shrugging his shoulders, "You could say that."

The young girl from their group went looking for her doll, trying to navigate the fallen walkers without arousing any worry. She found the only possession she still had from her life before the end underneath a decaying arm, reaching out to grab it when a tight, rotting hand wrapped around her wrist. "Mom!" The woman who had already saved them once pulled a large hunting knife from her thigh holster and moved to kick the walker away from the child before plunging the blade within its skull. When it was finally down she panted and picked up the doll, brushing the dirt from it before handing it to the girl. Her mother came running towards her, wrapping her arms tightly around her daughter before whisking her away, throwing a grateful glance to her rescuer.

"I hate these fucking things," the tall man said, looking at Rick. "I hate this fucking world."

"I know how you feel, all too well… I hope you don't mind me pointing this out, but there's no way the two of you covered an entire highway; where's the rest of your party?"

The man and the woman exchanged a glance before she whistled, everyone startled when two wild-haired girls no older than eleven or twelve bounded out of the tree line with guns strapped to their backs and pistols on their hips, moving to the woman's side. Another, older female followed after them, carrying a bundle in her arms with another semi-automatic weapon upon her person and a teenage boy brought up the rear, two pistols on his hips. The first woman took the bundle from the second, tying it to her back as she spoke. "These are my sisters, Carter and Kennedy. He's James and she's Claire- the kid's Lincoln," she said, feeling a rustling on her back. The newcomers all watched as a cherub-like face popped up over her shoulder, the blonde-haired, blue-eyed baby letting out a laugh. "And this is my daughter Jude; my name is Evan and it is nice to meet you."

"You've got quite a group," Rick noted, Daryl moving behind him to lean against a car. "Where exactly are you all staying?"

"We've been holed up in a couple of train cars about a mile west of here for about two weeks, but it's not a permanent arrangement: we're moving as far from Bennington as we can," Evan replied with a steely look in her eyes. Shane pushed forward to the front of the group, looking at the woman, "Why? What's wrong with Fort Bennington?" James smirked humorlessly, looking around at their surroundings and spreading his arms wide. "Man, seems like everyone was programmed to think that we could solve this entire world's fucking problems; it's exactly why Bennington was bursting at the seams. And I say was, because Bennington ain't there anymore brother- we set it on fire when the walkers overran it."

Evan swallowed, her eyes skillfully sweeping the horizon before she looked at Rick. "This crush continues on for about four or five miles- there's no way your caravan is getting through there. If you want, you can stay in some of the cars for the night; its better protected than just sitting on the road like ducks for the picking. Besides, it getting dark and I hate having them out in the open," she said as she looked back over her group, a worried look coming into her eye.

The two groups moved back onto the highway, swinging back around and off of the road into the woods. They parked their cars in front of a long string of train cars, Evan jumping out of the back of their pickup truck to open the other cars, Fenris disappearing under the train. "There are four cars that y'all can have. I just ask that you keep the noise down- geeks seem to hear everything," she said before moving to her own. Daryl watched as she ushered her sisters in before her, moving to jump in and closing the door behind her.

She sighed and moved to change her daughter's diaper, seeing Kennedy looking at her.

"What's wrong?"

"You said that we had to take care of ourselves, Ev. You said that other people didn't always have good intentions, that they could hurt us-" The woman looked at eyes as green as her own and shook her head, lifting Jude up against her chest. "Look, they have kids too. I know how hard it is as a mother to be worried about everything all the time, whether you guys have enough food or… whether or not you'll live to see another day. It's why I brought them here," Evan murmured, reaching out to run her hand over unruly red curls and pinching a fat cheek from Carter. "So don't worry, they won't be here long and I promise you both that I will protect you. I promise."

There was a banging on the door, Evan reaching out for her pistol before hearing James' voice, "Hey, come on out. I need to talk to you Evan." She jumped out and took her gun, looking back at the twins. "Keep this door closed and don't leave the car- I'll be back in a few minutes. Take care of the baby; we'll eat soon, alright," Evan asked, Carter nodding. She reached up to kiss the closest girl's forehead before closing the door behind her and looking at James, her friend coaxing her deeper into the darkness.

He turned to her once he knew they couldn't be heard, folding his arms over his chest. "Are you fucking crazy? How can you just make a unilateral decision for our group without asking anyone," James asked in an angry whisper, moving closer to her. The woman narrowed her eyes, gesturing back towards their makeshift camp, "They've got kids! I understand that things are more dangerous now than they've ever been, but Jesus Christ, we gotta let someone in eventually-"

"Yeah, we did that with Claire. And then with Lincoln," James snapped quietly, his brow furrowed. "The fact of this world is that we have to look after our own- I promised him that I'd look after you and the baby. And you yourself made me promise, no matter what, to do whatever I had to, to keep Carter and Kennedy and Jude alive."

"Enough," Evan said quietly, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ears.

She sighed and rubbed her face- wondering herself- why she would risk her life and theirs for a group of strangers. And then it was simple, the answer revealing itself: because it's what she should do as a human, as a mother, as a soldier. To protect and give shelter to those who couldn't defend themselves either at all or as well as she could.

Because it's what he would have done.

They moved back to the train cars and Rick looked up at Evan from over the fire they had started, the women in his group preparing to cook. "Y'all eating tonight," he questioned, the woman simply smiling and nodding.

Evan knocked on the three train cars before her, calling out for her group, "If you're hungry, you better start cooking. Lincoln, get us a fire going."

Jude stretched out for her mother and cooed, catching the attention of the newcomers. Lori, ever the gracious guest, walked over to the younger woman, smiling at the baby. "She's gorgeous Evan. She's gotta be, what, a year and a half," she asked, Evan shaking her head and kissing Jude's curls. "She's barely a year. She's built just like her daddy, though; makes her look bigger, older," Evan said, her thoughts on the man who had given his life for their daughter. She smiled then and looked back over Rick's group, bouncing Jude in her arms, "Which one's yours?"

"The little boy; his name's Carl," Lori replied lovingly, sighing as she folded her arms across her chest. "The blonde-haired woman is Andrea, the old man Dale. That's Carol and her daughter Sophia- and there's T-Dog and Glen… The guy you tackled today, sitting there with the murderous glare is Daryl. And the last one is Shane. That's our group."

"Y'all met up on the road or…"

Lori smiled, though the gesture did not meet her eyes, shaking her head, "That's a longer story than I have time to tell."

The groups cooked in silence, everyone seeming to watch each other carefully, gauging reactions and taking in information. More importantly, it seemed that all of the men's eyes were fixed on Evan, especially Daryl's. He had never had anyone- much less some woman- manhandle him like that. He didn't even know how someone like her could be in the military like she said she was, not with how she looked. Evan had curly blonde-brown hair that tumbled over darkly tanned shoulders, her body soft and supple just like a woman's should be. She wasn't no soldier, no matter how good she could shoot and he would never believe it, not without more proof.

Rick decided to break the silence, curious of the other leader, "So Evan, what's your story? How did you get here?"

"Just like you," she smiled as she stared into the flames. "The world ended- I had nowhere else to go."

It was quiet for a few moments longer other than the sound of Jude playing with Kennedy, Evan's gaze moving to fall on her. "The morning the news broke, we were laying in bed. Staring at each other like we always did… it was our day off," Evan murmured as she reflected back on the day her whole world had ended.

_Eyes opened to the sun streaming through her bedroom, her neck being kissed ever so lightly. She smiled and rolled onto her side, coming face to face with the man she loved more than life itself. Stroking his face, she leaned in and kissed her bedmate, giggling as he began to gnaw playfully at her neck. _

"I remember getting up and taking a shower- the last one I ever took, by the way. And getting ready to have a normal day with my parents and my sisters: they had just gotten into town the day before to celebrate my birthday. In retrospect, I guess that in itself was fate…"

_I found myself standing in my daughter's nursery, smiling down at her- the gesture was a familiar one, but there was always a certain… sadness there. However, Jude was one of the most beautiful things I had ever seen, a perfect mix of her father and I. Curly hair like my own, but platinum blonde like Danny's; her eyes were still closed, but I knew they were doe-like and blue, and even though my own eyes were green, I was still there in her face, elsewhere._

_Sometimes I wondered what the future held in store for Jude, if she would grow up to be a doctor or a lawyer, or famous even…_

_Danny was standing at the stove when I came down the stairs with Jude in my arms, smiling at both of us widely- his girls. He made sure I knew how much he loved us and his eyes told me everything. There with him were Carter and Kennedy, both curly-haired and bright-eyed like myself, their parentage clear in my eyes. My parents were sitting on the couch as they watched the morning news, everyone greeting each other with smiles. I put Jude in her high chair and moved to stand behind my father, watching the images full of violence and anger flashing across the screen almost as quickly as it seemed to be moving across the world… _

"_General, all I am saying is that this is _not_ something the government can handle with propaganda- the people are pissed off and tired of taking shit. It's enough-" My father let out a sound of impatience as his wife brushed her graying blonde hair back away from her face, continuing the heated discussion, "Well then Geneva, what do you propose we do about this then? It's not like we could just go back to zero and start over!" _

_I sighed and looked at my mother, shaking my head, "There's more to this outbreak of violence than just anger aimed at the government. It's too… coincidental with it happening in every country at this very moment in time for it to be simple rebellion. And it's never happened like this in America before, a massive civil uprising. That doesn't happen here." _

_We sat down for breakfast, discussing our plans for the day when the phone began to ring, Danny reaching over and smacking the receiver to silence it. "We'll have no work related bullshit to deal with today. We put in our time, isn't that right," he asked Jude adorably, our daughter giggling as she ripped up her pancake with small, pudgy fingers. _

_Not a moment later did his cell phone go off, then my own and my father's as well, the three of us looking at each other. "It's the Pentagon," my father said, standing and answering his phone, his tone authoritative, "Major General Collins Easton speaking…" _

_I stepped away from the table and answered the call from my CO, tucking my hair behind my ear, "Chief Warrant Officer Evan Harper speaking."_

"_Harper, I need you and Warrant Officer Harper to get to your secure line immediately for debriefing." _

"_Randall, what's going on?"_

_The line went dead and I went back into the kitchen to see both of the men standing with severe expressions on their faces, my mother and the twins looking between the three of us. "Dad, anything you can discuss with the family," I asked, his dark eyes looking troubled. _

"_I'll join you and Danny in the office in a moment. Your CO should debrief you both immediately," he replied seriously, Danny picking up Jude and disappearing into our study. I looked at my father before he turned his attention to my mother- just from the way he was acting, I knew that whatever had happened, was very bad. _

_I leaned against the edge of the desk as Danny called Major Randall back, my husband holding our daughter securely in his arms. "Harper, is your wife with you," the major asked, Danny replying as my father moved to close the door behind him. _

"_At 0200 hours today, we started to receive the first reports of disturbances coming from more isolated regions of the world- the Philippines, Papua New Guinea, the New Zealand- of severe violence. We believed them to be simply more occurances of the worldwide tensions being felt, until more reports started flooding in from China, Africa, the southern parts of South America, these citing violence… and cannibalism. When we started communicating back in forth with officials, we started discovering these pockets of disease outbreaks-" _

"_Disease," I questioned, breaking his line of speech. There was a pause and Major Randall sighed, "We have no idea what it is. But its nasty- and from the latest statistics, 100% fatal. Yet, they're coming back." _

_I turned to look at Danny, his blue eyes searching my own as his arms tightened around Jude. _

_My mind instantly went into survival mode and I moved to the gun safe, Danny tossing me the keys from the desk drawer. "So… you're trying to tell me that we're experiencing the beginnings of the zombie apocalypse," Danny questioned, watching me start to take out our survival packs. My father spoke next, revealing his presence to Major Randall, "This is Major General Collins Easton speaking. I was debriefed by General Thomas Smith Neal today at 1045 hours- this pathogen has been dubbed the Lazarus Virus. As stated, it is 100% fatal… however, it reanimates the deceased, turning it into a bloodthirsty cannibal. We are not entirely sure how it is transmitted, but it is spreading quickly… and it is here in the United States." _

"_At 0700 hours, the President and the Cabinet were moved to a secure location. At 0730 hours, the CDC began to mobilize- isolation and quarantine units were set up at each military base and outpost. At 0817 hours, the first identified case of the Lazarus Virus was admitted to Womack Army Medical Center in Fort Bragg, NC. At 0823, a nurse on the case came down with the illness. Within an hour, 30 individuals were infected and isolated- however, cases have started flooding in, from coast to coast: Alabama, Ohio, Michigan, Washington, North Dakota, Nevada, California. There have been four cases in Georgia itself and those patients are being transported to Fort Bennington as we speak. As of 1120 hours, all public transportation has ceased and we have placed the United States under an unofficial quarantine to keep this from spreading. The quicker we contain the virus, the quicker we will return to normalcy. However, things are going to get bad before they get better- at 1200 hours, the CDC will finally broadcast the outbreak over the emergency system and the alarm will be raised. We will advise people to stay inside of their homes unless they or a family member exhibits symptoms of the virus, in which case they are to call a mobile transport to have the patient transported to Bennington immediately. We have several scientists, in every country, working towards a cure, but once the patient has expired, we are to dispose of them immediately. There will be panic. There will be chaos. There will be death. But we are to work quickly and efficiently to eradicate this pathogen from reaching our own homes and family. The DoD has been calling in all of our assets to their nearest posts, where they are to be processed, tested for safety purposes and placed on duty. Your job is to keep the sick in isolation, and keep the uninfected, unexposed. Is that clear?" _

_I looked down at the landline, shaking my head and looking at Danny. "You said you didn't know how the infection was being transmitted. Major, I have a seven-month-old daughter- what if I catch it, or somehow expose her to that? And if anything were to happen to me or Danny-" _

"_Chief Warrant Officer, you are a soldier first and foremost. We trained you to be all that you could be, invested a lot of money in you- you made an oath to answer the call when needed. America is calling you," Major Randall replied harshly, my father looking at me expectantly. "Are you going to answer that call?" _

"_Sir, yes sir." _

Everyone was quiet as Evan continued to stare into the flames, her hands folded underneath her chin. Daryl could see how white her knuckles were, her jaw clenched and her lips drawn into a thin line. He hadn't wanted to hear another sob story from her- hell, everyone had lost somebody. Who the hell cared anymore?

James chuckled humorlessly, tapping the tip of his knife against his boot as he had been throughout Evan's entire story, "We were expendable assets, weren't we?"

"No," Evan replied, tucking her hair behind her ear. "But they treated us like it."

_I pulled on my uniform jacket as Danny came up to join me at the exit at the processing station, his gun strapped onto his shoulder. "You don't think this is just a little fucked up we're killing people," he asked quietly, the two of us moving through the base. Everything had been moved around and rearranged, countless tents erected in the fields and at the entrances to buildings to offer some sort of quarantine areas. I shook my head as I started towards the armory, knowing that most of our friends would be there, "They're already dead. We're just making sure they stay down." _

"_And if they brought your mom in here? Carter or Kennedy? Jude," Danny questioned as I stopped in my tracks, pushing him in the shoulder. "Don't bring them into this- they'll be safest at the house, in the panic room you insisted on having. And you can't keep thinking like that; we have a job to do Danny."_

"_I didn't sign up for this job." _

_I swiped my keycard in at the armory door, my subordinates looking at me. "You have any idea how this happened? Why we're here," one of the men asked, the others sitting around and cleaning their weapons. "How much do you know," I questioned, even though their blank faces told me how thoroughly they had been debriefed. Once I had told them everything, they looked at me and shook their heads, "So what do we do?"_

"_Whatever they tell us to do." _

_I was on patrol later that night with Danny when my telecommunicator went off, answering the call. "Hey, we need you to help out on a run," a weary voice came. I sighed and looked out over the isolation and quarantine zone, "You can't find a grunt to do that Martinez?"_

"_We got a call about nine patients that have to come in, two parents, one grandmother, six children. They told us to call you Harper." _

"The calls kept coming in and coming in and coming in. We had to start sleeping in two-hour shifts- I can't even tell you how crazy it was to be stateside and feel like I was back in Iraqi working alongside the medics. We didn't have enough beds by day five," Evan murmured, exhaling deeply. She looked at the attentive faces before her, swallowing before she continued, "I'm sure y'all remember how it was. Everyone was in the streets, searching for a way out. Having all those people together only got the infection to spread faster."

Jude started to doze off in her mother's arms, Claire standing up and holding her hands out to Evan. "Here, I'll put her down for the night. Don't much feel like listening to the stories again, no offense," the older woman said, Evan standing to pass her daughter off. She kissed Jude's forehead and sighed, relinquishing her hold on the bad.

When Claire had left, she looked at James, the former soldier nodding and taking over. "I was a medic on the 82nd, working with the CDC specialists to try and just slow it down. But Lazarus spread like wildfire and people were getting scared- soldiers started to tell their families, their wives and kids, to come to Bennington so that they could be together, safe under our watch. But that's how it got out of control inside… All of their wives, their kids, parents, friends- sick. Dying." James let out a heavy breath and reached up to scratch his beard, staring out into the woods, "I told my wife to go to Harper's- me and Danny were buddies, since we were twelve- and stay put. But she wanted to go to the vet and pick up her stupid cat instead; she never made it."

"Danny and I were with James when Nicole came in, the three of us trying to keep some sense of order in Bennington. We were having to take kids and brothers and sisters, moms and dads, wives and girlfriends away from the men we fought alongside… It was hard, but seeing her, sick," Evan said, her eyes filling up with tears. James shook his head, smirking even though the gesture didn't reach his eyes, "Seven and a half months pregnant with our son. And she died to try and save a cat… If I ever see that one-eyed bastard, I'm gonna shove a grenade down his fucking throat."

"It got bad after that. Within a few hours, we were overrun by the walkers- a lot of them people we knew, soldiers, friends. The three of us went to the armory and cleaned out what was left- wasn't much, other soldiers had the same idea- before trying to get the healthy people off of the base; it was Danny's idea to set it on fire, destroy as much of the fomites- sorry, the disease-carriers, as we could. We started fires with the help of the few bomb specialists we had, threw grenades, lit dynamite… everything we could think of. And then we ran…"

_I held Danny's hand as we ran, the gunny sack full of guns on my back as my other hand wrapped around the barrel of my gun. The air was full of smoke and visibility was at a minimum, but I could sense them out there, just waiting to lunge- _

"_Evan!" _

_I was pushed to the ground as my husband took the brunt of the attack, a huge hospital gown-clad figure landing on top of him. "Danny," I screamed, hearing the thing snarling and growling at him. James turned around to help me off of the ground as I scrambled to my feet, pulling his bowie knife and impaling the dead thing in the head. He kicked it off Danny and I moved to pull him up, checking him over for wounds. My hands stilled over the bite mark on his forearm, seeing the blood well up from it, "No." _

"_We need to move, brother," James said, moving to pull Danny's arm over his shoulder. I looked at my husband, his blue eyes tearful, "Ev, we don't know how this shit is transmitted… but blood and saliva are the most common methods of infection. You know that as well as I do." _

_I let out a sob as we took cover in the shadow of the mess hall, cupping his cheek in my hand and trying to reason with him. "We can stitch you up Danny-" _

"_Evan, I am not going home with you. Not to expose Jude to this," Danny replied, tears running down his cheeks as he pulled his dog tags over his head and held them out to me. I shook my head even as I took them, Danny moving to work his wedding band off, "I'm doing this for her, for you. But believe me, if it wasn't knowing that you're going on to live for a very long time with our daughter, I wouldn't leave you, not for the world. I love you Evan. So much." _

_James and Danny exchanged a look, grasping each other's hand for the last time. "I'll take care of them, man. Don't worry about that," James said, his bottom lip trembling. Danny nodded and sniffled, still cracking a smile. "Don't bang my wife, or I'll come back up here for you." He then reached out to me, bringing my head to his lips, "Make sure she knows I love her." _

"_I will." _

_Danny pulled out his pistol and took a deep breath, steadying himself. "I won't be like them. But I'll wait until you leave," he said, closing his eyes as I protested. _

_I was forced to run, leaving him behind, James alternating between pushing and pulling me along. _

_A gunshot rang out and I turned back to look through the smoke, crying out for my husband. But there was no answer from him, James pulling on my upper arm. "Evan-" I struggled, trying to see through the haze of burning flesh, the flames jumping out to where I stood, the heat overpowering, "Stop it, I have to go! I have to-" James snatched me back around to face him, firing off a round at one of the dark figures moving towards them before looking into my eyes. "He is gone Evan! And Danny made me promise to take care of you, made you promise to take care of Jude: our mission is not over. Listen to me- he's gone! We have to leave- listen to me and run!" _

"_He's gone," I whispered, trying to comprehend his words. It was the first death I had ever experienced, especially so close… but little did I know, it wouldn't be the last. "He's gone." _

Carter started to cry and buried her face in Evan's chest as the two embraced, Lincoln sighing as he pulled Kennedy to his side. The newcomers felt the love wavering between the other group, James standing and looking at the kids, "Its late, you three- time for bed."

Evan kissed their foreheads and moved to the tree line, snagging her gun off of a nearby tree branch.

"I'm gonna walk around the perimeter," she said, James giving her a nod.

No one was watching as a long, sinewy figure slipped away from the group as well, blending into the darkness…

Rick and Shane moved away from the camp to have a few words, trying to formulate a new plan. "So it's gone," Rick said, trying to show his friend that he had been right in heading to the coast. Shane shook his head, looking back at James as he moved around the train cars, "And what if it's not? What if they're just a couple of whack-jobs trying to gain our trust then screw us over?"

"Shane, come on," Rick replied, trying to reason with him. "This girl has an old lady, a teenager and three kids! What does she have to gain by screwing us?"

"She could take our supplies, our cars, the gas- look at them! They're weak, broken," Shane said, trying to keep his voice down.

Evan came out of the tree line then, her gun at her side, "That's where you're wrong."

Shane and Rick attempted to diffuse the situation, her eyes tight as she shook her head.

"No, you're right to be wary. My father was Special Forces- he taught me everything he knew and I could kill you both with my bare hands before anyone noticed… And yeah, we may be weak, but we are not broken.:


	2. Playing With Fire

Daryl rubbed his eyes sleepily as he looked at the dawning sunrise, knowing that he only had to make it through the next hour or so before T-Dog would take over on watch and he could get some well- deserved rest.

He looked at one of the train cars as he heard the locks inside being removed, settling back into the leaves to watch. Two long legs clad in BDUs emerged from the door, followed by the rest of the other group's leader, the woman stretching before twisting her hair up into a bun. Her dog followed after her, Fenris moving around her legs before calming when Evan reached out to pet him. She casted a quick glance to the two tents before her and reached back into her living quarters, Daryl seeing a large hunting knife within her grasp. He raised his bow as she started moving towards the tents, whistling sharply to catch her attention.

The woman paused and looked up into a large tree, seeing an arrow raised as the bow-hunter made himself known.

"What are ya doing," Daryl asked gruffly, keeping her lined up in his sights.

Evan smiled and stabbed her knife into a nearby stump, raising her hands. "I'm not armed, so you can take the beam off of me now- I never go anywhere without my knife. My apologies if that unsettled you," she said, the hunter looking her over carefully. "Take off your boots and lift up your shirt." She looked at him in disbelief, Daryl jumping out of the tree as he kept his bow raised. He walked towards her even as the dog growled in warning, its owner quieting it with a sharp word. Evan searched his eyes, noting how careful they were as the met hers and nodding, "You don't trust me…"

"I don't trust anybody," he replied, gesturing for her to lift her shirt. "And I don't know ya, so ya will do as I say."

She raised her shirt only high enough to show her waist, Daryl seeing the absence of weapons there. Evan then stepped out of her boots, wincing at the wetness of the dew-covered ground soaking through her socks. "Happy now," she asked before pulling her boots back on. Daryl moved to point to the last train car on the end, Evan following his steps, "Rick's in there."

"Thank you."

Evan woke Rick up and the two stepped away from the waking camp to talk, the woman looking around for Daryl. "So your bodyguard shook me down real well this morning," she said pointedly, Rick grimacing. "Yeah, I'm sorry about that; he doesn't take to strangers well…" Evan shrugged and listened to the girls playing, sighing, "Well anyway, I woke you cause we need to make a water run- your appearance at camp kind of depleted the reserves we had. Can you have your group ready to leave in about half an hour, Sherriff?"

"Yeah."

Later, Evan lead the group into the forest around their camp, her boots crunching quietly over the forest underbrush.

"Keep your eyes open."

Evan's slight country drawl carried through the forest ahead to where the girls were making friends with the new children, her watchful eyes always upon them. The rest of her group and the newcomers were following after her, James bringing up the rear as the dog posted itself beside Daryl, keeping a watch on him.

She adjusted the sling that held Jude against her back, tucking her gun underneath her arm as her eyes scanned the forest. Rick moved to walk alongside her, placing his pistol on his hip and sighing, "So where exactly are we going?" Evan was quiet for a moment, keeping her voice down so that she could hear better. "There's a lake about two meters from here. Underneath it, there's a sort of waterfall and wading pool leading to a nicely-sized river: we get our drinking water from the lake, fish in the pool, bathe in the river. Keeps it all running real nice…"

Lori looked back at James as he began to whistle a tune, unnerved by how at ease he seemed. "Don't you think that's just a little bit reckless, sir," she asked quietly, the former soldier grinning and shaking his head. "Hell no; we haven't had any incidents along this stretch since we've been here- that Evan is just overtly cautious," he replied, Lori tucking her hair behind her ears.

"I can't say that I blame her…"

The group reached the lake, the women immediately moving forward to fill up their buckets and jugs, Evan taking off her shoes and walking along the bank. Daryl split off from the group then, walking parallel around the lake to her- he was still pissed off about the events of the previous day and to be honest, his pride was a little bruised.

She looked up from the surface of the water suddenly to catch his eye, the hunter holding her gaze for a moment, as if he were curious about something. He turned away then and moved to stare into the woods, Evan watching as he disappeared into their depths.

James came up alongside her and the two started to make the loop around the small lake, talking amongst themselves. "So what do you make of them, brother," she asked quietly, throwing her gun strap across her shoulder. He sighed and shrugged, shaking his head, "They're just like us. They've hurt, they've lost… we're weak and so are they."

"I had a bit of a run in with the grungy-looking guy this morning and Rick's second-in-command is wary of us too- as they should be. And caught the later talking about how we could potentially hurt them and steal their shit-"

"You wanna steal their shit," James asked, trying not to laugh. "I'll take the old guy, you take the kids…"

They both shared a laugh then before Evan took a deep breath, looking out over the lake again. "So they're not a threat and we're not a threat unless someone fucks with us- and that means they can stay. Jaime, we're all that's left in this world: the survivors… and I'll be good and damned if I let what's left of humanity die out without fighting for it. I want these kids to grow up, make something of what this world has become; is that too much to hope for," Evan asked quietly, reaching up to tuck her curls behind her ears and sigh. Her friend reached out and squeezed her shoulder, sighing quietly.

"All we have left is hope."

* * *

Evan was packing up for the night when Shane came up to her, clearing his throat to catch her attention. She turned to look at him with a smirk on her face, dropping the freshly cut firewood, "You got something you need to say to me, Deputy?"

He smiled wryly before running his hand back over his hair, unsure of how to approach her.

"I just wanted to apologize about what I said last night, being suspicious of you and all. That wasn't right, especially after y'all took is in- you didn't have to do that," Shane replied, his Southern drawl making Evan smile. She just shook her head and brushed her hair out of her face, looking around as people started to slip away for the night. "I understand it, Shane, more than you know. There's not a lot of us left and we gotta look out for our people- can't risk losing anyone else. And I know that there's still bad people in what's left of this world, but you can rest assured that we are good people; we're on your side," Evan replied, extending her hand out to Shane. He shook it before feeling her increase the pressure, wincing, "But don't think I can't kick your ass, pretty boy."

She dropped his hand and went back to piling up the firewood by the pit, Shane watching her work as he walked back to his tent.

"Ain't gentlemanly to be staring at her ass like that, brother."

Shane looked back over his shoulder conspiratorially at where Daryl was coming out of the woods, holding the legs of a few birds he had gotten lucky to shoot down. The men exchanged a smirk and Shane shook his head, ducking into his tent, "Ain't trying to play with fire…"

Evan was brushing off her hands as Daryl came to sit by the dying fire, pulling out his knife. "Ya mind if I put another log in the pit, Commander," he asked, his voice gruff as he met her eyes. She tucked her hair behind her ears and shook her head, bending down to lift up one of the smaller pieces of wood. "Its Chief Warrant Officer and no, I don't mind. I was planning to sit out for a little while anyway…"

He watched as she pulled out a pack of Camels, Evan holding one towards the fire until it let, careful blue eyes watching her.

"Didn't peg you for a smoker."

She chuckled and ran her fingers back through her hair, shaking her head again, "I have bad nerves- an affliction and a habit I picked up in Iraq."

"Yer a war vet," Daryl asked as he plucked the birds of their feathers, the woman looking towards him. She raised her shirt to show off a plethora of livid scars along her side, obviously battle wounds, before staring back into the fire. "Those are from my third engagement, from a grenade we provided to the enemy… Did you know that the kill radius of a US grade hand grenade is five feet? My brother was five feet away- I was six."

They were quiet then, Evan puffing on her cigarette quietly as Daryl set aside his knife. "My older brother went missing in Atlanta; he was one tough son of a bitch… but he's probably dead. It sucks," he murmured, hearing her chuckle. "Yeah it does, doesn't it," Evan replied, more to the air than anything else. They sat together in the silence for a few more minutes before she finally stood, tossing her cigarette butt into the flames and looking at Daryl.

"You know, you're damn right to be wary of folks… but you don't have to be wary of us, or me," Evan murmured, letting out a quiet sigh.

He didn't respond, turning back to the task at hand and listening to her breathe for a few moments before she walked away. Daryl was quiet for a moment, wondering if he could actually believe something that someone told him for once.


	3. It Never Leaves You

Evan sat in her open train car with Jude in her lap, staring at her giggling child as they enjoyed the warm afternoon. Her daughter looked exactly like her father, having his same massive blue eyes and blonde hair, though the curls belonged to Evan herself. She wrapped Jude up in her arms tightly, smiling as she laughed, kissing her cheek repeatedly. Evan was content to entertain her to her heart's desire, allowing Jude to do as she pleased, even if it meant pulling on her mother's hair, "My sweet baby…"

She looked up from Jude as Claire came to lean into the doorway, seeing the serious look on her face.

"Mind if I talk to you," the older woman asked with a thick German accent, Evan shaking her head. She placed Jude down on the pile of blankets in the corner, leaving her to play with some blocks as she stepped outside. Claire walked her over to the train car she stayed in alone, both of the women climbing in. "So, you see the problem here…" Evan looked at the small pile of food against the back wall of the car, running her hand back through her hair, "Fuck."

Claire watched as Evan moved to look at what was left of their supplies, throwing a box of cereal against the wall angrily. They had never allowed the food to get so low, but with everything else that had been going on with the camp, it had fallen to the wayside.

The de-facto leader jumped out of the train car, whistling in a manner that brought her camp members running. The others watched as Evan directed her daughters to join Jude and Claire in their quarters, the woman then talking in hushed whispers to James. "We literally have no food and dwindling supplies: we need to run into town," she murmured, Rick debating whether or not he should join what looked to be like a serious conversation. James nodded, looking at Lincoln, "Alright, we'll leave Lincoln and go in a few."

"No, I want you here with the girls and the group. I'll take the kid and a few of the new guys into town, a quick in and out."

James narrowed his eyes before casting a glance over his shoulder, his hand wrapping around the handle of the gun in his waistband. "I don't like it but I know its fucking pointless to argue with you- all I ask is that you don't take Shane. He's edgy," he replied quietly, Evan smirking and shaking her head.

"You were a fool to think I had even considered that…"

The older man moved to talk to Claire, Evan turning to Lincoln and seeing how pale he was. "Hey, I need you with me on this Lincoln: you've never really been out there and it'll be good for you to see how shit really is. Besides, you gotta earn your keep," she said lightly, allowing a teasing tone into her voice. He gave her a little half smile before Evan turned him towards the train car, telling him to get his gun. She then moved to where Rick was standing, her hands on her hips, "We got a bit of a problem Boss- food's low and I'm going to run into town with Lincoln. How are y'all doing on supplies?"

"We haven't been hurting for things just yet, but we could always use a supply run: every little bit counts. Especially when you don't know what'll happen tomorrow," Rick said, glancing over his shoulder. He looked over his group members before calling out to one of the guys sitting by himself, waving him over, "Glenn!" Evan watched as the young Asian guy joined them, throwing him a smile as Rick spoke. "Glenn is our go to town expert and if you're making a run, you'll want to have him on your team," the other leader said, vouching for him. The former soldier looked him over and nodded, "You look like you're fast- useful when where we're going is practically overrun with walkers. I could never go with just our group, but with you guys here, it seems like the local Wal-Mart is fair game now…" Daryl listened to them discreetly before standing, walking over to where the small group was being assembled. "Hey, ya mind if I lend my services as well," he asked gruffly, Evan looking him over more generously than she had with Glenn. She then shook her head, turning back to Rick and considering it more thoroughly. "That bother you, Officer?" Rick had no arguments and the two men looked to Evan for further direction, the woman glancing back at where Lincoln had disappeared to. "Both of you need to be able to carry weight, and so that means anything unnecessary needs to be left here. We need silent weapons- I'm going to carry a machete and Lincoln will probably take the bat- I know Daryl's gonna carry his bow so you can have a pick of whatever you want in Lincoln and James' car, Glenn. We'll talk more about how to get in and out when we get to the store and see how difficult things will be," Evan said, both men nodding at her as she moved to take Glenn to the makeshift armory.

When everyone as ready to go, Daryl climbed into the passenger seat of the pickup truck, waiting for Evan. She was dressed in a short-sleeved black tee shirt that clung to her form and tight running pants that were tucked into black combat boots, her hair pulled up in a high ponytail.

"I'll be back girls," Evan said, kissing both of the twins' foreheads as she walked back to the truck. One of the girls broke away from the other and ran to the passenger side window, looking very seriously at Daryl. "Don't let my sister get hurt, mister," she said as Evan sighed, leaning over the hunter to look at her. "Kennedy, I'm coming back; I promise. Now get your little ass back to studying."

Evan cranked the truck and pulled away from the campsite, starting the quiet journey towards food.

It was too quiet in the truck for Daryl's liking, even though he didn't talk much and he really didn't have anything to say to the stranger sitting beside him. He didn't know what to think of her, especially since their only interactions had either ended up with him on his back or his crossbow pointed at her face. While he could admit that Evan was kind, there was something about her that was very unsettling, like a cold glint in her eye- he had never seen anything like it. And he knew that despite how open and transparent she seemed, that there was a lot she wasn't telling the group and that she was always planning: but as for what, he had no idea.

"I told you that you didn't have to be worried about me."

Evan cast Daryl a careful glance, taking in how guarded he seemed: one boot propped up against the dashboard as he crossed his arms over his chest, a blatantly defensive position.

He looked at her and sighed, his voice a little less gruff than usual, "Ya need help and I'm here to help Evan; so no, ya don't have to be worried about me either. But I really need to know what ya are planning- yer too goddamn quiet sometimes and it makes me uncomfortable…" Evan smiled ruefully and looked back at where Lincoln and Glenn were talking in the truck bed before turning back to Daryl, finally pulling onto the highway. "You're damn perceptive, hunter: I'm planning endgame, I have to. There's too many fucking variables to just think that we can live in the woods for the rest of our lives. I'm always thinking about what happens if we can't get to food anymore, or if someone gets sick or injured… or if someone gets bit. I'm always wondering what's going to happen to my girls if I end up succumbing to this goddamn world… I got a lot to think about. And I plan ahead for everything, Daryl, and I mean everything. Sorry about making you uncomfortable," Evan murmured, her careful eyes scanning the road as they turned off the highway. Daryl swallowed as she succeeded at doing away with his fears about her, exhaling quietly, "Its alright; that's not yer fault. That's mine."

She navigated the roads with ease, having found the store on an earlier run for food- there had been too many walkers for comfort then and not enough able bodies to help, all in all too much risk to take then. But now she had three men who could pull their weight and Evan was hopeful, pulling into the little turn off where the shopping center was.

Everyone was instantly on edge as Evan pulled over, her eyes on the walkers that had come to investigate the sound of the truck's old engine. She climbed out of the truck and wrapped her hand around the handle of her machete, knowing that it was going to get some good use today. She began to stretch and Daryl looked at her, setting an arrow in his crossbow, "What the hell are ya doing girl?"

"This town had roughly a half thousand people in it when the shit hit the fan- I figure I'm about to run my ass off and I'd rather not pull a fucking cramp, Hoss," Evan said, looking up at him seriously and moving to grab one of the gunny sacks at Lincoln's feet. She watched his hands shake for a moment before swallowing, tossing him a bag, "Stay behind me and don't do anything stupid, alright?"

"Yes ma'am."

Daryl and Evan ran side by side across the parking lot, cutting down walkers as they approached. It was fairly easy and they reached the store without incident, Evan peering through the glass as the others formed a barrier around the doors. "Hey Evan," Daryl growled out as one of the walkers lumbering towards them fell from his arrow, staring out at the stragglers coming across the lot. "Ya wanna get inside or stand out here and greet the townsfolk?"

"The fucking store is so goddamn dark-"

He wrapped an arm around her waist and spun her around so that she was standing shoulder to shoulder with the men as he pulled the small hand ax on his thigh. Evan was caught off-guard by the sudden movement, feeling his hand tighten on her hip once before he released her to work. Daryl hit the glass once to splinter it before kicking it in, clearing out the remnants with the blade of his ax. "Get yer asses in here!" The group followed him inside and set about dispatching what walkers were inside, the smell of rotting flesh making Lincoln gag and fall to a knee. Evan whirled around to decapitate a walker that had been bearing down on him, kicking away the still snapping head to snatch Lincoln up by his arm, "Keep your fucking head on straight, Lincoln!"

Daryl was concerned about the kid being a liability- he and Evan knew what the hell they were doing and Glenn seemed to be holding his own- but he had to trust the woman's judgment and obviously she had brought Lincoln along for a reason.

When they had been able to get through the crush of walkers that had come to their arrival, the group split up into pairs, Lincoln and Evan moving to get supplies as the other two men moved to grab food. Daryl and Glenn grabbed whatever was in front of them and stuffed it into the bags on their back, looking at the junk food with growing hunger and anticipation. They started towards the front of the store before Daryl realized that they hadn't even thought of baby food, knowing that Evan's kid would need it, "We got to go back, Chinaman."

Evan shoved all the feminine care products she could find into one of the gunny sacks before stocking the rest up with toilet paper and body wash, Lincoln grabbing clothes off of the racks without looking at them, stuffing them hangers and all into the bags. They both knew that goods were at a premium during the apocalypse and they'd find a use for whatever they took back to camp, regardless of what it was.

"Let's get the hell out of here before the walkers outside funnel in and trap us into the store," Evan heard Glenn whisper furiously, seeing him waving at her. She started towards him before hearing a feral snarl behind her, turning to see a massive walker behind Lincoln. He raised the bat but she knew that he didn't have nearly enough strength to knock down the big bastard, reaching out to snatch him back from the thing's grasp. Evan pushed Lincoln out of harm's way but fell in the process of running herself, her head hitting the linoleum hard enough to make her see black spots even as she gasped. All she saw was teeth and evil, yellow eyes before lukewarm blood splattered against her chest, the walker falling across her body, an arrow protruding through the back of its head.

Evan breathed hard as she struggled to get out from underneath the body, feeling a rough hand wrap around the back of her collar and pull her free from the dead weight. She looked up at Daryl as she scrambled to her feet, his chest heaving as he looked at her, "Are ya alright?"

"Yeah- thank you," she said, getting herself together before moving to join the others.

"Call it even."

The two of them ran outside, Glenn panting loudly behind them as Lincoln pulled up the rear. Evan and Daryl made sure to clear the path, her legs burning as she pushed herself on, the former soldier compartmentalizing the pain away. They hit the truck and as Evan and Glenn kept the walkers off of their backs, Daryl and Lincoln tossed the bags into the bed of the pickup, the hunter moving to strip Evan of her burden. She lashed out at one last walker as Daryl flung open the driver's side door and pushed her towards it, raising his cross bow as he followed her in. He cranked the truck and peeled out of the parking lot, listening to the sound of Evan's heavy breathing as it filled the cab.

Daryl looked over at Evan, seeing her splattered with long-congealed blood and knowing that she didn't need to sit in it, "Take yer shirt off." She looked at him blankly and Daryl moved to pull his vest off, tossing it to her. "Ya don't need to be sitting in all that blood, woman; take yer shirt off and put on my vest. I'll get it back when we get back to camp."

She did as he said, pulling her blood-soaked shirt over her head and throwing it out of the window. Evan slipped her arms into the overly large vest, seeing Daryl glaring straight ahead. "What," Evan asked irritably, trying to ignore the dull pain at the base of her skull even as she grew curious of how tightly he was holding the steering wheel.

"Ya could have warned me ya weren't wearing nothing under there…"

Evan closed her eyes and shook her head, leaning up against the passenger side door, "Shut the hell up Dixon."

The truck pulled into camp and everyone surrounded it, Evan stepping out and immediately going to where Claire was holding Jude in her arms. She took her daughter and cradled her in her arms, ignoring James as he questioned why she was covered in blood. Daryl and the others tossed the bags into the ground, allowing the other campers to start going through them.

He watched as the woman disappeared into her train car, slamming the door behind her without another word to anybody else. James walked over to him, the shirtless hunter sighing, "We had a bit of an incident at the store- she almost got bit. Ya should check to see if she's alright and while yer at it, check her head. She hit it pretty fucking hard…"

"You wanna demand anything else, Dixon," James asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yeah: I want my vest back."

* * *

Daryl came out of his tent to piss in the middle of the night, posting himself up against a tree as he let nature take its course. A thick cloud of acrid smoke reached him then and the smell of marijuana was unmistakable- he had after all, smoked enough weed in his day to know it from a mile away.

He stomped down a little hill a bit, coming across Evan with a small piece in her hand as she leaned against a large fir. She looked up at him and smiled, holding out the pipe, "Would you like to take a vision quest, Mr. Dixon?"

"Holy shit. Yer high as fuck, Evan," Daryl growled, seeing how puffy her eyes were. "Don't ya know its goddamn dangerous not to have yer wits about ya out here?"

Evan rolled her eyes and let her head loll back against the tree trunk, shrugging. "I have come to the startling realization that I just really don't give a fuck anymore. And chill out, would you Daryl? A girl can't smoke a little green without the goddamn law or a wayward hunter giving her trouble," she replied, looking into the darkness of the forest. They were both quiet for a little while, Evan shaking her head. "You know, as long as you're standing here, I'm gonna talk to you. And you know, it ain't right, the dead walking like this… ain't like what they said it would be. 'The Rapture', the judgment day- it came and it went and since we're still here, I'm thinking we were deemed unworthy. Only figures: I did a lot of bad before the end, wracked up quite a debt in my ledger that needs to be balanced out. Gotta start paying that shit back now…"

"Yer talking crazy."

"No, I'm the only one talking sense right now. All the other voices are the crazy ones," Evan murmured, hitting the bowl one last time before blowing out a thin stream of smoke and smiling. "You know, today when I fell- its funny and its crazy and I know its stupid but… all I could remember was being back in Iraq."

She closed her eyes as she felt herself falling and the world went silent even as she talked to Daryl, feeling her surroundings fade away…

_Her body hit the ground and Evan felt all of the breath leave her, tears running from her eyes. _

_She could feel blood pooling underneath her with every heartbeat, gasping as blood trickled from the corners of her mouth. Shrapnel still burned hot in her chest, having torn through flesh and muscle from the force of the blast. Her ears were ringing and the dust was falling from the air into her eyes, stinging every time she blinked. _

_Evan never thought death would be so painful- she thought that it would come fast and that she would never have time to think about it. A bullet to the head or heart. A sharp blow to the temple. Or even better, dying old and warm in her own bed. _

_She was only eighteen, young and dumb, and she was dying on a battlefield. _

_But that would be okay, because Leigh would be waiting for her- if she got to heaven, that is. She had done plenty of wrong in her eighteen years and heaven was not for wrongdoers; hell, the only reason she had gotten herself in this fucking situation was because she had wanted to atone for all that bullshit. _

_They hadn't even seen the grenade. _

_It was a regular patrol, Evan following after Leigh- they'd fought damn hard to get assigned to the same unit but their dad had pulled some strings and when Evan had run off of the plan, she had jumped right into her big brother's arms. __She had always needed to escape from her life back home and although he had tried to discourage her, Leigh nevertheless supported her, welcoming her to the ranks. He had showed her the ropes and even though she was nothing but another grunt, she was his grunt and he was proud of her- the only person who had ever truly been proud of her. Leigh was the only person who had ever understood why she was the way she was, and he had never judged her, even when everyone else had._

_And now he was gone. _

_Evan choked out a sob as she remembered seeing the small dark object on the ground by Leigh's foot, running from the back of the squadron towards him, screaming his name. He had turned to look at her, run towards her, but he hadn't been nearly fast enough because he was still within the blast radius. The world had gone dark then and Evan had been knocked off her feet, feeling pain explode in her chest. _

_He was gone… just like that. _

_He had had his whole life in front of him- that pretty girl from U of G, his career, his future family- and Evan had nothing except a bunch of regrets. She was devastated that she would never again have the chance to kiss her mom or salute her dad or hug the girls… It was all over, and all she wanted was to go back, to do everything right. "God! For the love of God!" Evan screamed those words as blood filled her throat, the pressure on her chest feeling like she was being smothered. _

_The world seemed to speed up then and the medics were rushing towards her- everyone was screaming and she could hear bullets hitting the sand around her. Evan was choking on her own blood, struggling to breathe; any heartbeat could be her last but she willed her heart into beating if only once more. There were tears still running from the corners of her eyes and she could still feel the blistering heat of the Iraq and battle on her face._

"_It's alright Easton, you're gonna live to see another day kid. Just do not close your eyes- you hear me? Keep your eyes open…" _

"I wanted to die on that battlefield," Evan said candidly, opening her eyes to look up at Daryl. "To this very day, even in this very moment, I wish I had died on that fucking battlefield."

Daryl reached down and took the bowl from her, the woman giving it up without a struggle. "And if ya had? What good what it have done for yer sisters or yer daughter," he questioned, half-wondering why he was even entertaining her. Evan chuckled and threw her hands up, "A whole lot of fucking good! Jude wouldn't be born and the girls would have died in the first wave- wouldn't have had to wonder where dad was or what happened to him, or watch mom die. By my hand, no less."

They looked at each other for a few long moments, Evan showing him the palms of her hands as she stood. "My hands are stained red with blood, of both the living and the dead. That's what my hands were trained to do- to kill. So its no wonder why I'm still here," she murmured, Daryl watching as her hands shook. He emptied out whatever was left in the small pipe before putting it in his pocket, reaching out to grab her hands. He knew it was pointless to argue with somebody who was so far gone and so he tried to appease her, shaking his head. "Yer here because yer suppose to be-" Evan laughed again and looked at Daryl, feeling extremely tired after the events of the day, "I'm here and then again, I'm not. All the things that I've done since- build a life, love a man, change my daughter's diaper- none of it has mattered. The desert has not left me in the years since I've been back… and I have never left the desert. Some things just don't leave you- and what's fucked up about it is that it never will."

He blinked at that and she pulled one of her hands free before starting back to camp, Daryl allowing himself to be led. Her words unnerved the hell out of him and he knew that what had happened earlier in the store had shaken what was undoubtedly a very strong woman- if what she was saying had been true and he didn't doubt it, she had come through a lot of shit. And he could identify with that, with as much as he had been through in his twenty-nine years.

"Hey-"

James was coming at Daryl with his gun, instantly on edge- Evan had let him knew that she would be gone for only a few minutes to use the bathroom and he had been looking for her for nearly half an hour, having gone to their usual area and around to search. "Let her go man," James snapped, Daryl pulling his hand from Evan's. He reached for the pipe before he raised his hands, looking at the agitated man, "Look, I went to take a fucking piss and found her toking up in a ditch- I was just bringing yer girl back to camp since ya seem like ya lost track of her. Go on ahead and get that goddamn pistol off my face."

"Come on boys, let's all play nice," Evan said, sounding as if she was bored.

She reached out and took her bowl from Daryl, cupping his face in her hands. "That's mine- also thank you for saving my ass today and listening to me ramble for an hour; you don't talk much but you're good at listening," she said before planting an unexpected peck on his lips and walking over to James.

"Jesus Christ Evan; you clipped the hell outta my fucking stash. That shit was medical grade too…"

Daryl watched as he led her away before dragging the back of his hand across his mouth, even though the gesture was in vain- just like Evan had said herself, some things will never leave a person.


	4. Making Friends

As usual, Daryl was up before everyone else, exiting his tent with his crossbow in hand. He moved quietly and quickly, making his escape from the camp into the woods that proved to be his always faithful respite. It was an increasingly hot May morning however, the muggy air making his shirt stick to him and his body grow damp within a few minutes of being out. But the folks in the group had to eat- and he was a meat loving man- so that meant Daryl was going out to hunt, using his skills as a veteran tracker to find the food.

He spent most of the morning tracking what was either a large doe or a small buck, finally having to go bare-chested to keep cool. All he wanted to do was finally get the deer in his sights and bag it, but he couldn't seem to focus on the hunt.

In the days since Evan's marijuana-fueled night- and the following kiss- he hadn't been able to… focus, not just on hunting but on anything. He had tried to whittle a few arrows while she helped make dinner and ended up breaking over half of them, unable to keep his knife steady for more than a few moments. Or when he had caught her staring over the fire at him when he was busy stitching up his jeans and he had ended up ripping a bigger hole in them than before.

It wasn't like the kiss even mattered that much- and to him, it really didn't- but ever since that night, Daryl was certain that she was actually seeing him now… and he didn't like it. When it had just been their group, he had blended well into the fold and no one had really expected much of him except to hunt. There wasn't much talking or digging into what he was all about- he went out, he came back and that was that. But not with her, not anymore; she was always looking at him now, her eyes slightly narrowed as she searched his face, seeming unsatisfied. Maybe she was wondering if he was going to tell her secrets or something like that, but even if she was, she had nothing to worry about: he wasn't planning on saying anything…

He heard the sound of moving water and checked his surrounds, not noticing right away that he had made a loop back to where Evan had showed them the river. Daryl raised his crossbow, knowing that the deer had probably stopped for a drink, hearing a quiet splash of water.

"Jack fucking pot..."

Evan was standing waist-deep in the river, having been unable to sleep any longer and knowing that she needed a bath anyway. She had folded all of her clothes carefully on the bank and left her two favorite weapons within reach if she needed them- Danny's old revolver and her hunting knife- though history had given her a sense of safety here. The sun was burning hot today and she was thankful for the cool water, glad that it provided some kind of relief.

It was quiet and although she loved hearing the kids running around and playing like the apocalypse hadn't just happened, sometimes she just needed the silence. Evan had a lot weighing on her shoulders with trying to provide for her group and keeping everyone alive, not to mention her own personal demons, so being along with her thoughts every once in a while was a lot less demanding on her.

She pulled out the small, travel-sized bottle of body wash she only used when she had time to waste, starting with her hair and working the suds up into a bit of a lather. Her time in the desert had shown Evan what it truly meant to be dirty- there the dirt and sand got into places it should have never been- but at least every day after patrols she got to have herself a burning hot, five-minute shower. That was paradise compared to now when they were lucky to bathe three times a week- but Evan could never complain, not now when they had to be thankful for every little thing they got these days.

She rinsed her hair thoroughly before moving to wash the rest of her, stilling as she heard the sound of cracking tree branches. A large deer moved from the tree line about fifteen feet from her and Evan let out a quiet breath of relief, chuckling to herself. "Its just a fucking deer-" She went silent as she heard an almost silent crunching of leaves from behind her right shoulder, staring over at her gun and wondering if she could make a play for it.

Daryl hadn't intended on interrupting Evan's bath but they really needed the buck and so he had made a decision to go after his catch, not caring about what she would do when she discovered that he had been- more or less- watching her.

"Do not move Evan…"

The former soldier felt her blood boil as she realized who was behind her, crossing her arms over her chest protectively. It didn't really matter though, because Daryl had gotten a generous glimpse of her when he had first come out of the trees and he had seen pretty much everything. He couldn't help but stare at her full, perky breasts, the dusky brown nipples firm and hardened from the cool water as she twisted slightly in the water. Daryl had seen the scars on her chest once more and noted the long, jagged scar on the back of her left shoulder, as well as the plethora of tattoos on her body. And even as he lined up the deer in his sights, Daryl couldn't help but taking in the perfect curve of her backside one last time before allowing his arrow to fly.

She gasped as the deer cried out, Daryl moving forward to sink two more arrows into it, "There."

Evan turned towards him and threw a nearby rock right at his shaggy head that he dodged easily, bored by her childish antics. "What the fuck do you think you're doing here, Dixon? Are you fucking crazy?" He moved down to a more shallow part of the river and crossed it easily, bending down over his kill.

"I'm about to feed yer ass and yer throwing shit at me? Real nice Evan, real fucking nice…"

She was not appeased and even though her cheeks flushed with heat, she refused to let him know she was embarrassed by her own body, looking at Daryl. "You can't just walk up on people like that, especially not me! I'm fucking naked, asshole," Evan shouted shrilly, the hunter looking up at her as he pulled out his knife, a mildly bored expression on his face.

"Don't worry, I already seen ya and ya ain't nothing special to look at. Stop yelling."

Evan narrowed her eyes before nodding and dropping her arms, walking out of the river as Daryl cast one last sly glance at her. "Well if I ain't nothing special to look at, then stop fucking staring at me before I come over there and poke your fucking eyes out with my thumbs," she snarled through her teeth as she yanked her panties on. He smiled at that- he refused to take her seriously as she stood naked in front of him with her cheeks all splotchy.

She threw her clothes on hurriedly, still angry as she flipped her hair over her shoulder- it was more unruly than the twins' and it was going to be hell to wash out if she allowed it to dry.

"So, ya done having that stick up yer ass yet," Daryl asked lightly as he threw the deer innards into the river to let them be washed downstream, the woman glaring at him. He took his cross bow off his back and held it out to her, moving to pick up the buck. Evan stared at him as he lifted the bled-out deer with ease, seeing the veins bulge in his tanned arms with her mouth falling open just a bit. When he looked up at her as if to question why she was staring, Evan turned on her heels and started to stomp her way back to camp, Daryl smirking at her back.

They were quiet for a while before Daryl finally spoke, wanting to at least say something to break the tension, "Ya know, ya don't have to glare at me Evan- I mean, ya can glare at me right now because I got to ogle yer ass for a bit, but all that other shit because of the other night is unnecessary. Ya know, I ain't gonna tell anyone what ya said the other night; hell, yer the only one other than Rick or Shane who's any good at leading folks. Which I only say after seeing ya in action the past couple of weeks…" Evan looked at Daryl with her hands folded across her chest, eyeing him for a few moments. "Thanks; it's the only reason why I do it anyway. No one else needs to have this kind of burden, make these kinds of choices."

He nodded and grinned before sliding his eyes back to her as they neared the camp, knowing that he was about to piss her off.

"So about that tattoo on yer ass…"

"Go and fuck yourself Dixon," Evan said bitingly, walking ahead of him in a huff. Daryl was amused, and proud of himself, seeing how wide-eyed everybody was when he dropped the deer. One of the twins came over to him, tucking her hair behind her ears as she looked at the deer carcass. He looked at her as he started to put logs on the fire, knowing that it need time to heat up while he set about cutting the buck up. "Hey pretty lady- which one are ya," he asked warmly, the young girl staring at him with the biggest green eyes framed by long dark lashes. She smiled shyly and brushed her unruly golden red curls back, the way she looked at him reminding Daryl of Evan for some reason, "I'm Carter; my sister has a scar on her left cheek. Can I watch you chop up the deer?"

He invited her to sit as Evan watched them for a moment, Lori walking over to join her.

Evan jerked her chin at Daryl, the rugged hunter entertaining the young girl without seeming the least bothered by her inquisitive nature- she would have never pegged him to be a kid-friendly kind of guy. "He's alright, ain't he," she asked, the older woman looking at her and nodding. "He's a little rough around the edges, but yeah. But are the two of y'all alright? Seems like there's been a bit of tension today…" The younger woman smirked and shook her head, starting to where she could hear Jude crying, "The guy saw me naked."

Later people were waiting around for dinner to finish cooking as James walked over to Evan, smirking at her. She already knew that he was about to tick her off, her old friend jabbing her playfully in the ribs.

"So when can I have the next peek-"

Evan chuckled humorlessly before turning her back on James and walking a few paces away, hearing him trying to apologize. She then turned then, thankful that she was both small and fast, running towards him before throwing herself at his feet. She did not land on her face though, instead springing into a hand stand and locking her thighs around James' neck to fling him to the ground. Everyone gaped at her as she stood over him, her friend looking up at her in shock, "Are you kidding me?"

Without missing a beat, James moved to knock her off of her feet, grabbing her around the legs and pulling her to the ground. Claire sighed as she bounced Jude on her hip, Rick looking at her in disbelief.

"Ah hell, here they go at it again…"

The two former soldiers scuffled for a few minutes before Evan wrapped herself around James from behind, her arm around his neck tightly. James shouted but she held on, panting in his ear, "Who's laughing now, fucker?"

Claire whistled loudly and began to hit a pot with a wooden spoon, "Alright, that's enough you two! The food's ready anyway." Evan let go of him and he moved to stand before glaring at her for a moment, brushing the dirt and leaves off of him. "Well… I guess I should have expected that. You used that move quite a bit on Danny," James grumbled, still shoving her shoulder as she grinned.

"I told you that you were gonna get enough of messing with me…"

Daryl looked at the twins sitting on either side of him, his eyes slightly narrowed. "Does shit like that happen often around here?"

"Unfortunately."

* * *

Evan laid Jude down on the small pallet in the corner, rubbing her sleeping baby's back as she sighed quietly, Fenris coming to lay down at the baby's feet. "I love you sweetheart, so much," she murmured, kissing her curls before looking back at the twins. They always brushed each other's hair before laying down and Kennedy was working on Carter, humming quietly.

She smiled ruefully at the little habit, moving to tie her own hair up for the night, "I remember how mom used to do that when I was little. And how I used to do it with both of you…"

"Do you think that even though she turned to a zombie that she went to heaven," Kennedy asked quietly, both of them turning to look at her. Evan's eyes began to burn but she wouldn't let the see her cry- not when she had to be strong for them- nodding in the dim light from their oil lamp. "Yeah, I do think she went to heaven, honey. She had a big heart and a kind soul: people like her always go to heaven, no matter what."

Carter looked down at her hands, smoothing down her nightgown, "I miss her."

"Me too," Evan replied before reaching over them and pulling back the blankets on their air mattress. The three of them slept together, with Evan in the middle and the twins on either side of her, one of her arms stretching out over Kennedy's head to rest on Jude. "Alright, time for bed ladies." Both of them laid down and she kissed their foreheads before moving to change out of her jeans, hearing something moving just outside of the train car. Since she had been the last one to retire for the night, she knew that it was odd for anyone to be getting up, reaching out for her gun.

"Lock this behind me and do not open it for anyone, you understand?"

Evan undid the padlock and climbed out of her train car, seeing someone slip into the darkness. "Son of a bitch," she muttered, following whoever it was into the night. With how skilled she had been in the military, it was easy to navigate but the person running through the night was even better than she was and she knew it could only be one person.

He kept looking back over his shoulder curiously, sure that he heard something behind him before shaking his head and sighing. As good as a hunter as he was, he doubted that anyone could follow after him so silently, much less get the drop on him.

Unless…

Daryl pulled his knife as he pushed Evan up against a tree, his forearm pressed against her throat and his body pinning hers to keep her immobile. "What the fuck are ya doing out here? What, ya trying to pay me back for earlier," he growled out before hearing the click of her revolver as she loaded a round into the chamber. Evan raised the barrel of the gun underneath his chin and glanced at the point of the knife too close for comfort at her left eye, her lips drawn into a thin line. "No, I'm not. I'm came after you because you shouldn't walk off without letting anyone know where you're going. Its not safe, Daryl."

"Well isn't that just a little ass backwards to say, since ya were the one sneaking off in the middle of the night to hit the bowl… Go back to camp."

He stepped back from Evan but she made no effort to move other than tucking her gun into her waistband. "You know, I recognize that running off like I did was fucking stupid, I do," she said honestly, seeing him squint slightly in the dim moonlight. "But you need to get it through your thick skull that we're together now and everyone is responsible for everybody. That's what working together and living together and surviving together gets you!"

"I didn't ask for no responsibilities," Daryl said bitingly, the woman before him scoffing.

"Well then fuck you- but you're still my goddamn responsibility."

Knowing that she wasn't going to leave him alone, Daryl cursed underneath his breath and turned to continue on his journey. The two of them were quiet until Evan tripped over a tree root, her companion turning back to see her on the ground, "Yer fucking slowing me down, woman. Come here." She sighed and allowed him to help her to her feet, Daryl keeping hold of her so he didn't have to worry about her falling again. "I mean, you could let me go now," Evan said quietly, not totally comfortable with feeling his hand on her arm. Daryl scoffed and shook his head, the two of them coming to a small cliff.

"Wouldn't want ya tripping off the edge of this…"

He put down his crossbow and sat down on the ledge, allowing his feet to dangle over the large ravine. Evan was wary to join him, having a slight fear of heights, but moved to sit beside Daryl, both of them staring out at the night.

"So why did you come up here?"

"It's fucking peaceful," Daryl said simply, pulling out a pack of cigarettes and offering her one. "Sometimes it's nice to just get the hell away from it all. Don't get me wrong- those people I'm with, I'm with for a reason… but I like being alone. And so I got to get away sometimes."

Evan nodded and took a long drag off of her cigarette, exhaling into the cool night air, "I understand that- that's why I was at the river this morning. The quiet does a lot to keep a girl sane… You now have a companion in your solidarity, Mr. Dixon." They shared a chuckle before Daryl shook his head and looked at her, smirking. "Ya know, yer not so bad."

"Why, thank you," Evan said, shaking out her curls in flattery.

"Don't let it go to yer head."


	5. Camp

The group set about the mundane task of keeping the camp in working order, James, T-Dog and Glenn checking the perimeter as the others worked at the base. Evan set the girls about cleaning guns, Claire tending to the baby as Lincoln chopped more firewood.

"Do you think they're old enough to be doing that," Andrea asked quietly, taking her eyes off of the giggling twins. The older woman smirked and nodded, gesturing to the girls, "My dad was a general and my brother was a Staff Sergeant- those two grew up playing with guns. They know exactly how dangerous they are and I trust them to carry, so I can trust them to clean. You ask them any question about a firearm and they can damn answer it; you don't have to worry about my girls."She smiled then and moved to watch Lori and Carol hanging up laundry on a length of fishing line strung between two trees, sighing. "Y'all need help with the housework," she questioned, the women happy to have another set of hands. Carol looked over at Evan as she went to work, the young woman looking just as happy to do the laundry as she was putting down a walker, "You're not like most women, are you Mrs. Harper?"

"No I am not."

It was later in the afternoon that Shane and Rick came to the camp back with Sophia and Carl, having taken them further into the woods to learn how to handle a gun, the girls leaving their chore to play. Evan chuckled with a sigh, moving to piece the guns back together as she took a seat on one of the logs. There was still some sense of normalcy with all of these people together, as if the world hadn't gone to hell- clothes still needed to be cleaned, food still needed to be cooked, children still needed to be raised.

It was all kind of nice.

"Hi honey, welcome home," Evan said teasingly as she looked up to see Daryl coming out of the woods with Fenris at his side. He narrowed his eyes and chuckled humorlessly, moving to sit across from her. "You stole my fucking dog."

"Yeah, right. Yer damn mutt followed me outta camp and wouldn't come back," Daryl replied, laying down a line of squirrels and an owl. He jerked his head out her as he took off his sleeveless button-down to sit in his wife beater, sticking a cigarette in his mouth, "Ya run along now and get me a pot to put these in sweetheart."

She narrowed her eyes but moved to do as he asked anyway, coming back to drop a pot between his knees. She noticed a fair-sized gash on his neck and reached out to touch it, Daryl throwing an elbow up to stop her. "Ow! Come on now!" Evan hit him upside the back of the head lightly before moving his arm to look at the wound, seeing that it wasn't that serious, "No, you come on! This is superficial, but it could get infected Daryl. I need to stitch this up and you're gonna let me."

The other people in camp looked on at how closely they interacted- from as much as they knew about Daryl, he wasn't a person to let others push him around or let something happen to him without putting up a fight- but here he was, letting Evan bully him around.

"Well, would you look at that," Lori murmured, wondering exactly how crazy life was about to get.

Evan sat down with her military-grade first aid kit, the hunter allowing his tasks to wait as she started to tend to his neck. "What happened? What'd you hit?" He narrowed his eyes at her failed attempt to hold back her laughter, growling at her, "Didn't see a branch while I was tracking a fawn- hit me in the throat."

"Real smooth."

"Shut yer ass up."

She had never been so close to him without being on top of him in the street or having his forearm against her neck, and so it was a nice change to have him all sweet and compliant for the time being. Evan had never noticed it before, but he had a very nice scent to him- it was a mixture of cigarettes, sweat, soap, dirt and man. He smelled all man and she couldn't help but like it; after all, it had been a while since she had any man. "Well shit." Evan caught her thoughts as Daryl strained his neck to look at her, seeing her hand stilled in an upward motion, "What the hell did ya do to me woman?" She yanked once on the thread and was satisfied when he winced in pain, returning to her work without a word.

When she was satisfied with her work Evan finally let Daryl be, nudging his shoulder playfully before he shrugged her off, grunting in thanks.

James and the others returned from the circuit, his oldest friend noticing that something was off with his eyes. When she started to walk over to him, he only shook his head and moved into his train car, Evan knowing that whatever it was, it was bad.

As they continued to clean up and work about the camp in a mundane fashion, Kennedy tentatively pulled herself away from the other kids and moved to sit beside Daryl, looking up at him.

"What's up kid," he questioned lightly, plucking the feathers from the owl and setting them aside for new arrows. She smiled and looked over at Evan's back, whispering quietly to Daryl, "I think Evan likes you- even better than Jaime."

"Oh yeah?"

Daryl narrowed his eyes as he looked at her older sister, wondering if what the kid said was true- her words didn't make him feel good or anything just like, just… weird.

The young girl reached out and took one of the feathers Daryl had set aside, looking it over carefully. "What happened to your family Mr. Daryl, when everyone started getting sick? Did you have kids like us," Kennedy questioned, the older man chuckling once and shaking his head. "Naw, I wasn't that kinda guy. I never found a girl I wanted to have a family with- and I don't reckon I had any kids: never really wanted them. But my dad did get sick and I had to put him down before things got bad… It was just me and my brother then, but I lost him when we were in Atlanta. Not sure what happened to him," Daryl replied, shrugging off the harmless question- wasn't any use crying over the dead. They were quiet for a minute, but it wasn't that awkward to Daryl; hell, he'd go as far to say that it was almost comfortable. "You know, you're not like other adults, Mr. Daryl; you don't boss us around or look at us like we're getting on your nerves. You're pretty cool," the curly-haired kid said with a smile, moving to put the feather back. He shook his head again and curled her fingers around it, "Ya keep that- take one for yer sister too."

Kennedy went back to playing with the others, the hunter watching her- it was true that he had never found the right girl to have his kids, but now, when there would probably never be children again… he kinda wanted one.

"Well, shit."

* * *

"So I come out of the house and I see this kid, standing at the bottom of the stairs with a gun pointed right between my eyes- but it was obvious he wasn't a good shot his hands were shaking so bad. I literally looked at him and stepped towards him until I had the barrel of the gun against my forehead, my eyes locked on his. What'd I say to you Lincoln," Evan questioned with a smile, the young teen running his hand back over his short buzz cut. "Said, 'Didn't your mother ever teach you how to treat a lady?' Took me by the ear and marched me down the street back to their hideaway- been with them ever since."

James reached out and gripped the kid's shoulder, the two of them exchanging a laugh. It was clear to all that the group was less like strangers just trying to survive and more like family, trying to live and make a life for themselves. It was something that many envied, Daryl's eyes unable to stray from Evan and her pseudo-family for more than a few moments at a time.

Carter kept nodding off as they made small talk and shared their stories of how they came together, leaning against Evan. The older woman had her free arm wrapped tightly around the young girl- the other was holding her baby securely against her chest- long fingers playing absentmindedly in her curly hair, content just to hold on to her. "You must have had strong genes in your family, Evan. All of yours look like you," Andrea said when there was a lull in the conversation. Only one person caught the strange, tense look that flitted across her face, the former soldier forcing herself to smile.

"Yeah, really strong genes…"

She sighed then and looked down at her sleeping baby, kissing the top of her head. "I should really get these three to bed. Night everyone," Evan said, standing. Kennedy helped her sister up and they retreated to their quarters, the others finishing up around the fire.

It was later that a knock came on the train car, Evan pulling her hair up in a ponytail before petting her dog's head comfortingly. "Jaime, that you?" He looked around before answering her, wishing she would hurry up already, "Who the hell else would it be? Dixon?" Evan slid open the door and narrowed her eyes at him, crouching in the doorway.

"Ain't you just charming, honey?"

Daryl was standing just a ways away smoking a cigarette beyond the tree line, watching James help Evan jump out of her car, his eyes narrowing slightly. He knew that it wasn't jealousy that was causing his stomach to twist in knots, but he had a very weird feeling about the two of them, his hand balling into a fist at his side. James led her to his train car and looked around again to see if anyone had seen them before following her in, sliding the door shut behind him and locking it.

"Fucking bitch," he muttered, putting out his cigarette and storming off to his cliff.

Inside Evan looked at Lincoln's sleeping form lit up by the candle on the floor, sitting down beside James and sighing. "There's some shit that went on with the perimeter check, isn't there," she asked quietly, James shining a small flashlight onto the map that he unfolded. It was covered in various marker colors, outlining the state from Fort Bennington to where they were currently camped, the man pulling out his pen and holding the cap in his teeth.

"Look at this Ev," James said, drawing arrows from several black spots to the green zone they had circled. Evan looked up at him immediately, her friend sighing and shaking his head. "These fucking packs are building up into another herd and they're gonna hit us here- maybe in a week, maybe in a day; depends on how fast they move. When we were walking today, I came across tracks just a thousand meters from the camp. Its time to move on…"

Evan closed her eyes and let her head fall back against the side of the train car, sighing, "Jesus fucking Christ."

"You're taking the Lord's name in vain, Easton."

"This was the safest place we've found since this all started James- and now we have to move and go. We have more people to look out for now, more kids… What do we do," Evan questioned, turning to look at him and searching his eyes. He folded the map back up and tucked it into his boot, lacing his fingers together. Even though he had no obligation to the others, he knew that despite all his reservations about the added responsibility, he felt the exact same way that Evan did about their group. They had to do whatever it took to make sure they all made it through. "We'll just get up in the morning, take Rick and Shane aside for a talk- tell the others its just the logistics about the running of camp. They'll leave it to us as you two leaders and me and Shane as your VPs, keep them from panicking and losing their shit. We'll tell them about the migration patterns, decide on where to go and we pack up. If we move efficiently, we can be out of here in a couple of hours."

She nodded and agreed, sighing again heavily.

"Sounds like a plan- hell, it's the only plan we got."


	6. One Last Chance

**AN: I'm afraid that I'm not getting the feedback I want on this story and it takes a lot to write like this- please review if you like it or I won't continue with _I'm Still Here. _Its not a threat; I'm just saying that I could put my energy in other stories in my queue if this isn't what the Lady Elle fanbase wants. **

* * *

Evan woke up to an almost silent rapping on the door, jerking into a sitting position before she realized that it was most likely just James. She had spent most of the night tossing and turning, so much so she was left wondering how the twins had gotten to sleep. Long fingers pulled through stubborn curls, snagging on the knots leftover from her bath yesterday morning before she slid from between the girls, moving to change quickly. Evan shimmed into a pair of black jeans that fit tightly and pulled on a white tank top, stepping into her boots without lacing them up.

He was waiting for her when she emerged, a toothpick in his teeth and his arms crossed over his chest, Evan jumping down from the train car with a grunt. James let his eyes search her face, taking in the weary expression that weighed on her gaze and the dark circles underneath her eyes.

"You alright?"

She pulled her hair up into a bun, looking at where Lori was pouring coffee, "Just dreaming about those last minutes with Danny again. Been thinking about him more and more as of late…"

James was quiet as she moved to grab herself a cup of coffee, wishing that things had turned out differently for her- most best friends hated the girl their buddy ended up with, but with Evan, that just wasn't the case. She had a way about her that made everyone feel loved- even when she was pissed off at you- and he knew exactly why Danny had married her. Evan was… well, frankly, Evan was perfect.

At least, it seemed that way on the surface.

"Thank you Lori," Evan said, sipping her black coffee. She had once been a creamer and sugar addict, but the apocalypse had definitely curbed those cravings. "Say, is your husband up yet?"

"Yeah, just getting dressed."

Daryl came out of his tent then, crossbow slung over his shoulder and glare set firmly on his face. Evan caught his eyes and almost questioned it for a moment before simply deciding on being polite, "Good morning." He brushed past her without a word and she scoffed as he disappeared into the woods, knowing that he probably wanted to be alone. Evan didn't know why he had a stick up his ass all of a sudden, but she had more important things to handle and she knew from experience that given time, a man's temper would subside.

When Shane and Rick had appeared, the two soldiers took them over to the cars to talk, telling the others the lie they had decided on. James spoke first, Evan leaning against the pickup's bed, her eyes on the two cops.

"So we've been on these roads quite a bit longer than you and your group have…" He told them all about how they had started using their military training and skill set to help keep track of the walkers- and avoid them- pulling out the map to show them where was safe and where wasn't. "Literally the safest place we could protect is the clearing we camped out in, the 'Green Zone'. But they're moving in and they're moving in damn fast for what a few stragglers could do. In four days time, they've trekked over two and a half miles from here and here pretty much to where we found you on the road. Now we've made enough trips back and forth to leave a good scent and let's face it, they're hunters… we're the food. I think its best we move on, before things get bad," James said, his eyes holding a certain gravity that his oldest friend knew only he was capable of. She could literally feel the two men's spirits drop- the woods had probably been the safest place they had found through all of this and her heart was right with them: she didn't want to leave.

Evan quietly sipped her coffee as she waited for it to sink in, everything feeling like it was coming to a head, as though they were about to make some big, great fatalistic decision- and it was. If they chose the wrong way, people could get hurt… and people could die.

"I think that's a bad idea to move. We have water and a good food supply in the woods- if we move, we could probably never see water like that again," Shane said, watching the woman set down her mug. "You know, I wanna leave as much as the next person, and you're right Shane, but the thing is, these fucking woods are dense and I'd rather not be caught in them with another herd the size of the one your group barely escaped from the first time."

The kids were up by now, talking and playing around the fire pit where breakfast was being cooked. She turned to watch Claire with the baby, Jude's little lips moving as she babbled something that delighted her caregiver. There was still hope there, in the kids: hope for their future and that a new day- a better day would come along.

"So we'll go tonight," Rick said, his voice unwaveringly calm as Evan returned to the conversation. He and James stood facing each other, the most level-headed of the leaders. Shane's arms were folded and his back was rim rod straight, Evan's eyes on him in case he decided to flip a switch all of a sudden. "No, the morning is our best option- there's no lights on the highway and if anything happened, we would never see it coming. Best we pack up, load up tonight and leave at first light." Shane huffed then, glaring at James and his companion in an accusatory fashion, "Y'all shoulda told us what was up from the get go. We could have curbed the issues before it became this big problem."

"The last thing we needed as people going off into the woods with guns, creating a whole lot of noise and mess."

Evan could feel her face set hard as she realized that they would be on the road again, standing immobile, "Look, the fact is that if we pack up and we leave tonight, the others will panic. We don't need that with so many kids; we have time…"

"I agree," Rick said, looking at his friend. Shane looked unexpectedly defeated then and threw his hands up, "I guess its decided then. Let me know when y'all need me."

They went back to the group and Rick started telling everyone the plans, answering almost silent questions the best he could. Evan was more occupied with feeding her daughter, Jude lounging in her mother's arms as she looked at Rick. She was finished with her bottle by the time people started to move, the former soldier whistling for the girls as she sat Jude down on her blankets so they could pack.

The bags started piling up against the wheels of the immobile cars, filled with the few belongings they had- more packed with guns and ammunition. The girls had finished packing their things and had returned to play, Evan watching them go with a forlorn look at how carefree life seemed for them.

Evan moved to pick up a large hoodie that she had taken from her house- it had been Danny's and while in the beginning it had still smelled like him, it was now full of a saltwater smell that was her tears- a small black book fall from one of the pockets. She reached down for it before recognizing it for what it was, sliding down the wall until she came into a sitting position.

Shaking fingers opened up the small photo album, filled with wallet-sized pictures of the life she had had before everything had changed. Hers and Danny's senior pictures- the year she had finally moved schools and met him. The still-shots of their oaths, the two of them swearing into the armed forces side by side. Them overseas, before and after her accident: they had been only friends up until then, but he had been the medic to save her life and he had fallen in love with her then. Them travelling the world, from Germany to Japan, from Italy to England. The picture that James himself had taken of Danny proposing to her, Evan having gotten down on her knees to stand face to face with him. Their wedding day, Jude's first ultrasound, and Danny with his daughter on the day she had been born. All of those pictures held the memories of life in a simpler time, when the only thing she had had to fear was her baby catching a cold or getting colic.

Evan looked over at Jude as she napped, inhaling deeply, "You are the most important thing to me."

She looked outside when she heard something that unnerved her, standing up to move into the doorway of the train car. Everyone was busy packing, people talking and trying to make decisions on what to take and what to leave, but she was more focused on something else, her eyes scanning the campsite.

The wind shifted then and something about it made a shiver race down Evan's back- she had only felt something so powerful once before, when Carter had wandered out in the street when she was five. Evan had been in the house then, cleaning or doing something pointless, when she had had the inexplicable urge to run outside. She had screamed seeing the child out in the street, snatching her up just as a car came down the road- Evan had cried so hard then and now, she had that same feeling.

"Carter," she shouted, jumping out of the train car. It was silent, Lori dropping one of her bags to look up at Evan as the younger woman started to search for the young girl. "Kennedy!"

Lori looked around then and realized that not only were the twins gone, but so were Sophia and Carl.

"Carl! Sophia!"

The two women exchanged a look before Evan pulled her gun off of her hip, running into the woods without another word. Whatever it was, she knew that it was bad and that her girls were in trouble.

Daryl was oblivious to the kids' sudden disappearance as he hunted, tracking another good-sized deer through the dense forest. He didn't even know why he was still thinking about Evan and James being together, but he couldn't get the vision of them fumbling with zippers and crawling all over each other in the darkness out of his head. She had seemed so unconcerned with bullshit but hell, from what he had seen last night, she was just like any other woman. Once a husband was gone, they had to find somebody else- and he didn't like Lori all that much, but he had to admit that the way it looked, Evan was more like her than she was like him.

There was a carnal growl from up ahead and he paused, knowing that only one creature was walking around sounding like that. Daryl took a breath before moving out from behind a tree, hearing a far off pounding of boots that seemed to be growing closer. He looked down at the walker as it fed on his deer, cursing underneath his breath and sending a bolt flying through the air. The body fell, slumped across the deer but Daryl couldn't think about that, not when Carl and one of the twins ran towards him, both of them breathing heavily and looking shaken. "What in the hell is wrong with the two of ya," Daryl asked seriously, dropping his crossbow to his side.

"My sister," the young girl said, looking back through the trees. "We got separated from Sophia and Kennedy- there's a whole bunch of walkers out there, maybe a hundred."

Daryl set another arrow into his crossbow, scanning the forest before turning back to the kids. He knew that a herd tromping through the woods could stumble across camp before they made it back if they didn't move fast, but knowing that two little girls were out there, probably lost and terrified, shook him.

"Alright. Carl, take my gun and ya run with Carter back to camp as fast as ya can. I'll find the others."

"Yes sir."

He handed the young boy his gun and immediately ran the opposite way, moving deeper into the forest. Daryl was following the kids' footprints the best he could, but it was difficult- he could see knee impressions and handprints where they had stumbled, fallen and got back up, running away from the safety of camp and into the backwoods of Georgia.

Evan kept pushing herself on, heavy boots rising and falling against the hard packed earth. She kept getting smacked by tree branches and cut up by thorny bushes, but she didn't care; she had to find them. Two bodies collided together, the smaller one not realizing what had happened until warm arms wrapped around her- Evan hadn't expected to come across either one of her girls, but she had seen Carl and Carter just a few feet to her left, running towards her. "Carter!" The young girl burst into tears at the realization that she was safe, her arms coming around the older woman's midsection, "Evan!"

"Where's your sister at, baby? How did you get separated," Evan asked hurriedly, taking to a knee so that they were face to face. She brushed Carter's hair out of her eyes, cupping her face in her hands as the young girl tried to stem her tears. "We were playing and Fenris heard… something out there. He took off into the woods and we knew that you would be mad if you found out he was missing, so we went after him. Sophia and me were calling for him, and- and the walkers must have heard us. We had to run Evan, but I kept falling and so did Carl. We ended up in a big ditch, but the other two kept running- we had to lay there and wait until they had passed. When we ran back, we found Daryl and he gave us his gun to make sure we were safe. He's looking for Kennedy and Sophia," Carter said, holding onto Evan as she stood. The older woman gave her a comforting squeeze before turning to where they had come from, pushing Carter towards camp. "Go back and lock yourself and the others in the train car. Tell them the herd is coming."

Daryl pressed himself against another tree as he heard the walkers shuffling past his hiding spot, holding his breath. They were obviously moving with intent- they were after something, food, and he just hoped the two little girls kept running until he could get to them. A few minutes passed before he heard someone panting loudly, their boots heavy and loud when placed against the back drop of the silent forest.

She had almost come to a stop to get her bearings when a hand clamped over her mouth, Evan finding herself being literally snatched off of her feet and pulled into a tight cropping of trees. Daryl spun her around so that her back was against a tree, his hand still over her mouth tightly as he pressed a finger to his lips so that she would know to stay quiet. He pointed to the steady stream of walkers stomping through the tightly packed trees, Evan's eyes growing wide. Having her compliant for the moment, he released her face and pressed himself against her, leaning down into her ear. "We need to get on the other side of the herd- the land does downhill there and we can intercept the girls there." Daryl's rough hand slid down her bare arm, his fingers wrapping around hers to place her gun back in its holster before pulling his bowie knife off of his own hip and offering it to her. Wordlessly, his eyes communicated what they were going to do, Evan nodding in agreement and inhaling deeply.

They stepped out of the trees and started towards where the last of the walkers were filing through, the woman grunting as she ran full force at one of the decomposing bodies. Daryl watched as she impaled it through the head before turning at another walker that was bearing down on her, kicking its legs out from underneath the heavy body and dispatching it with a swift stomp to the head. She stood and brushed her hair out of her eyes as he kicked a walker off of his other knife, the two of them running side by side down the hill.

Kennedy had Sophia by the hand as they came across a small river, breathing hard as their feet starting getting stuck in the mud. They looked back at the hoarde behind them, Kennedy kicking her shoes off and trying to pull Sophia through the water, "We have to move faster and get back to camp-"

"We're lost and we're gonna die out here," Sophia said, the slightly younger girl still tugging on her arm.

"We are not going to die. Not today."

The hunter and the soldier hit the flat landing, looking around before moving to the side of the thin strip of even land, hearing the growls of the walkers below her. Looking further down, Evan saw the two girls struggling to climb up the sharp incline, horrified at how close they were to danger, "Kennedy!" Daryl tackled her and the two of them struggled as he tried to keep her down, locking his fingers tightly over the lower half of her face. He was laying his full weight on her back, but she was acting as if he didn't weigh anything, repeated attempting to rise up underneath him.

"Shut the hell up woman! Ya think yelling and bringing the walkers down on us is gonna help anything? The kid is gonna be fine-" Evan mustered up all of her strength then and flipped him half way off of her, elbowing him in the face as she completely wriggled out of his grasp. "She is not just some kid you son of a bitch! She's my goddamn daughter!"

Kennedy looked up as gravel started tumbling down the small hill towards her, seeing Evan standing there, "Pull me up Evan!" The older woman laid down and extended her arms down to Kennedy, their fingers meeting before she slipped down a little. Sophia was still screaming, trying to climb up beside her friend to safety as the walkers bit and clawed at their feet, which were currently just out of reach.

"Crawl up a little bit more Kennedy, just a little bit baby! I almost got you!"

Their fingers met again and Evan snatched her up with a herculean effort, pulling Kennedy against her chest. By that time Daryl was running down the hillside as a diversion, most of the walkers following after him but still a few lingering below where Sophia was. Evan let go of the child to reach down for the other girl, seeing her feet slip and slide against the mud. "Sophia. Baby, you aren't going to make it up here and I can't get down to you without falling," she said evenly, seeing fearful tears spring up in the girl's eyes. "The others are out looking for you- just run directly back from where you came and they will find you. I promise. Can you do that sweetheart?"

Sophia sniffled, trying to hold on to the crumbling dirt, "Yes ma'am."

"On three, you need to let go and move. One… two… three!"

Evan started firing as Sophia fell back to the ground, hitting the walkers closest to her. The child scrambled to her feet and started moving back towards where the campsite was, running for dear life. She could only hope that she would either come across one of the others or stumble into camp on her own, Evan shooting until her gun went empty. When she knew that there was nothing else to do, she grabbed Kennedy's hand and they started finding their own way back, green eyes casting a careful glance to where Daryl had disappeared.

He had given them one last chance and it was best they take it.

* * *

Daryl dragged his way into camp after having lost the walkers in the forest, dead-tired and covered in mud. When he called out for someone, the door to one of the train cars opened and the women and children emerged- though three were still missing.

"Where is Evan? Kennedy and Sophia? They never made it back," he asked harshly, his tone decidedly acerbic. Lori shook her head as she tightened her arms around her son, looking at the hunter, "No, but the others are out looking for them. Its not dark yet Daryl-"

"But we're losing light," Daryl replied sharply as he moved to the nearly bare makeshift armory and grabbed himself a bat. "I gotta go find them."

As he turned to enter back into the woods, he paused, the group hearing a quiet shuffling of feet. He readied himself to put down the walkers should they have found the camp, lowering his weapon when he saw who it was.

James and T-Dog had Evan between them, the two of them supporting her as they held her arms around their shoulders. She looked to be unconscious or at the very least, exhausted to the point where she couldn't move, her head hanging down. Lincoln was behind them with Fenris at his heels, Kennedy wrapped up in his arms as Shane and Glenn pulled up the rear.

Lori saw that her husband wasn't with them, moving forward, "Where's Rick?"

"We came across what was left of the herd and got separated, but he found Sophia. He's with her and they're gonna come back," Shane said as James moved to sweep Evan up in his arms. Daryl eyes were on her, searching her face when her eyes opened to rest on him- she only turned away and laid her head against her friend's shoulder.

They disappeared into her train car and Daryl was left to wait and wonder, knowing that there was a lot more they had to talk about now.

Evan came to later after she had passed out in James' arms, sitting up with a jerk before feeling soft hands on her shoulder. "Easy, easy. Lay back down," he murmured, her eyes scanning the train car.

"Where are my girls?"

"They're alright- eating with the others right now. They're being protected Evan; we have everyone on alert right now…" She relaxed a little at that, closing her eyes as she thought about the hazy events from earlier that day. Evan eventually allowed herself to fall back into her little pallet, trying to breathe evenly, "Where did you find us?"

James scoffed and looked at her, leaning against the back wall. "In a little drainage pipe surrounded by about fifteen dead walkers. You put them out with nothing more than a few rocks," he murmured, Evan looking at her gauze-wrapped hands and closing her eyes again.

"Is Daryl back yet? And Sophia?"

When he didn't answer, she got up and moved to crawl out of the train car. She was immediately assaulted by the twins, both of them wrapping themselves around her. Kennedy was crying and Evan fell to her knees, her arms coming around both of them tightly. She spoke quietly so only they could hear, trying to keep herself from crying as well, "Hey, hey- its alright. I told you both that I would do anything for you. I would kill for you and I would die for you… never doubt that."

She looked up as she saw Daryl pacing on the other side of the campfire, releasing the twins as she stood. They locked eyes and then she was moving towards him- she didn't care what anyone thought, if she was getting too close to him or that she cared too much. He was caught off-guard by Evan throwing her arms around his neck tightly and pulling him into a tight hug, Daryl having to force his body to bow against hers. Evan just held on for a few moments before releasing him, stepping back so that she could meet his eyes.

Her words were simple but he could see the gratitude in her eyes, Evan speaking to him and him alone, "Thank you."

"I didn't do nothing- ya got yer self and yer kid out of the woods, not me. And ya gave Sophia a fighting chance," Daryl replied almost defensively, seeing Evan look around the camp incredulously- she obviously haven't been told that Sophia hadn't made it back yet.

"We have to go back."


	7. Safe Places

The two lean figures worked their way around the perimeter of the camp- Evan was marching on through whatever pain and exhaustion she was feeling, even though James had tried to make her sit down and wait it out like everyone else, the woman not at all okay to do that. She had been the one to make the decision to send Sophia off on her own, to try and give her a chance when the only other alternative would have risked both of their lives and probably gotten them both killed. "She is my goddamn responsibility and I am going after her. And I am going to find her," Evan had said, the hard look in her eyes just asking for anyone to challenge her.

Evan sighed as the strange feeling she got washed over her again- the arms on the back of her neck raised slightly and her arms broke out in goose bumps, but it wasn't from fear. No, it was because she knew that she was about to catch Daryl staring at her again and turned around to face him, speaking through her teeth, "What the fuck are you looking at?"

"Nothing."

She paused and turned to face him, her eyes searching his with the aid of the full moon above their heads. "That's the tenth time I've confronted you about looking at me and obviously you're not looking without a reason. So just tell me what the hell is on your mind and let's get back to work," Evan snapped angrily, wanting to be able to focus. He looked at her evenly before speaking, licking his lips, "So are we gonna talk about what ya said out there today then? Ya wanna explain that shit to me?" Evan was cold then, as if someone had flipped a switch in her, her lips drawing into a thin line as she looked at her daughter's savior. "Why- why the fuck do you even care? I don't owe you anything."

Daryl thought of his split and swollen lip from where she had hit him, growling at her. "I think ya fucking do," he replied, the two of them staring each other down for a moment.

Evan exhaled heavily and jerked her head back to the marked path, Daryl following after her. She stared ahead into the night and tried to figure out where to start, sighing quietly. "You have to not judge me because the person I was back then died a long time ago," she said with a hard edge to her usually pleasant voice, Daryl remaining silent to allow her to continue. "I... lost myself as a teen, though I don't know how the fuck I managed to do that; being stubborn as a mule probably helped some… I had a good home, a good family- an older brother and two parents who loved me. However, I always had a need to… rebel against what I knew was right and I fought tooth and nail just so I could screw my own life up. Hell, by the time I was fourteen, I was either stoned outta my mind or drunk off my ass. And I mean constantly; I can't remember much from those years," she murmured, tucking her hair behind hear ears. She smiled ruefully then and shook her head, chuckling once humorlessly, "I had a lot of vices, but sex was the one that got me in trouble. I wasn't careful and I didn't care- I'd blackout and fuck whoever was closest. And one of my episodes ended up with me in the back of somebody's pickup truck- who's I'll never know- and all I remember is that he was sweaty, grunted a lot and finished much too quickly to even laugh at. Two months later, I stole a pregnancy test from the local quick-mart and the stick turned blue. After that, I spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I was going to do. I remember going down to the clinic to have… it taken care of with some money I stole from my mom, but I sat there with my hands folded across my stomach and thought about how I was about to kill the only thing I ever really cared about other than myself. That was the day the old me died Daryl, and I knew that I had to be something better for them. But I still wasn't ready to be a mom and I knew that too… so I had to decide between letting my own mother raise them as her own or just- just give them up. And I couldn't do that."

"So ya put yer self through an entire pregnancy knowing that ya would never be their mother? And after, ya stuck around for twelve years watching them grow and call another woman 'momma' just because ya didn't want to give them up," Daryl questioned quietly, trying to let the story sink in. Evan smiled sadly and nodded, clearing her throat. "You think I'm selfish."

"I think yer damn selfless. It takes a lot of love and strength to do someone like that," he replied almost tenderly, looking over at her. She wiped away a stray tear and nodded, sniffling once. "Most women would have done the exact opposite of what ya did, just to spare themselves the pain."

She bit down on her bottom lip then, trying to stop the flashback to the day that they had been born. It had been the most painful thing she had ever been through- even Danny's death couldn't rival with that- and just like every time she thought about it, she felt herself breaking down.

Evan stumbled and Daryl reached out to steady her before seeing her legs go out from underneath her, the young woman moving to put her back against a tree. He asked her what was wrong but she wasn't hearing him, her head tucked between her knees as the memories of that day rushed through her head. Her whole world had fallen apart, the pain of losing what could have been more than anything she thought she was able to survive.

The moment that Evan, exhausted from her many hours of labor, had seen her two daughters was the moment that a little piece of her died and she knew that she would never get it back. She had cried over them, holding them in her arms as her mother stood beside her- her father had never been in agreement to the arrangement that would follow once they left the hospital but Evan didn't care, she wasn't about to let them go even though she was technically giving them up.

Daryl sat beside her as she shook, her tears running down her face- he knew that she was going through something and there was nothing he could do except protect her from what lurked in the backwoods and be there for her. He tentatively wrapped his arm around her shoulders, hoping that no one stumbled upon him being so intimate with her; that was a whole bunch of external shit he knew he wasn't prepared to handle.

"I'm sorry," he murmured when her sobs had finally stopped and the sniffles were beginning to wane.

"I always think about if my decision was right," Evan whispered hoarsely, her face half-buried in his chest. "I was just a kid but I feel like I should have manned up and taken responsibility. But they needed a mom and I was too scared to try… I try not to think about it most times, try and lull myself into believing that the lie is truth. I succeed with it sometimes, but I always realize that when I look at them, I see my face."

He had to agree with her there and he wondered why he hadn't questioned it earlier- he knew that sometimes siblings favored each other, but the twins were so much like Evan it all made sense. Daryl remembered their eyes and knew that she told the truth, inhaling deeply. "You can't tell anyone about this… everyone else who knew is gone. Hell, I didn't even tell Danny about my past: just fed him a bunch of bullshit lies and kept him happy… I wish I could have told the truth, said I was sorry." He sighed and shook his head, knowing that it was probably one of the things she thought she had to atone for.

"Ya had to do what ya had to do. Don't ya ever apologize for that."

Evan was quiet then, moving to watch him as he breathed, seeing the thin sheen of sweet on his bare arms and the sliver of flesh that his open cutoff let show. She had never known anyone like Daryl, someone who could seem so hard and calloused on the outside, but still had a heart even through all of this they had been through- and the more time she spent with the hunter, watching him and learning about who he was, the bigger his heart seemed. But she knew that people always wore masks- she did it herself, knowing that she wasn't half as tough or strong as she made herself out to be but doing it to keep others safe and happy.

"Sorry you had to see me go to pieces. Not a pretty sight, I know," Evan said, dragging her arm across her face. Daryl let her go and watched as she carefully pieced back her composure, standing up when she did.

They started moving along the circuit again, albeit at a slower pace, his companion looking down at her feet. "Do you ever feel like God puts you through hell to prepare you for the things in life you can't control? Like why we're here now?" Daryl smirked and shook his head, playing with the strap that held his crossbow against his back. "Sorry if this bothers ya, but ever since this happened, I haven't put much thought or faith into God. This just feels like its too big for us to handle, ya know? They said that He'd never give ya more than ya could handle," he replied, shrugging off the question. He paused for a moment and continued, sighing, "Because what could be after this? The world ended and we're still here- we don't have any plans beyond the next day because all we do is run and hide and scavenge."

"The world didn't technically end Daryl; just like you said, we're still here. Just lost, though… we haven't adjusted yet to this whole 'surviving' thing, I don't think. Its just gonna take some time."

Daryl snorted and continued on, looking at her evenly. "Lady, ya ever noticed that all we have now is time?"

"Yeah I do," Evan said with a sigh, rubbing the back of her neck. "And all we have left is people. That's why we have to find Sophia, Daryl. We're lucky to still have kids in all of this, to still have our ties to our humanity. It's a lot easier to lose yourself than the average person realizes… and things are hard, for all of us. But we gotta stick together. We gotta find the good in things and find things to be thankful for. Like you… I'm thankful I met you. I've told you more shit about myself than I've ever told anyone willingly and I have no idea why, but I have to believe that it's all for a reason."

He looked over at her without knowing what to say and thankfully, she didn't expect for him to respond: they spent the rest of the walk in silence.

When they came back to camp Evan moved to check on the girls, starting towards her train car before hesitating to look back at Daryl. He was preparing for his watch, his eyes soft as they stared at each other over the small fire that Dale was stoking carefully. The barest of smiles graced his thin lips before he turned away, Evan feeling whatever residual anxiety she had about opening up and sharing her darkest secrets lift when she looked at him.

Daryl Dixon was… safe.

And a safe place was all anyone could hope for on days like this.


	8. Search and Find

"We can't just pick up and go- now with Sophia still out there."

Jude was in Evan's arms, her hand holding on tightly to a lock of her mother's hair, the group's de-facto leaders talking amongst themselves. The three men looked at the woman's fierce eyes- Rick had returned late the previous night, tired and dirty but without the girl they had all fought tooth and nail to save.

"I agree- I told her that I'd come back for her, that I'd bring her home. She was in a culvert and I had to leave her there. I promised that girl that we wouldn't stop," Rick murmured, still weary from the night before. Shane reached out to grip his friend's shoulder, shaking his head, "Its not your fault man. Things happen…"

"Evan's right, though: we can't leave. We don't leave people behind," James said, his tone sounding like it was a threat and not meant to placate any of them. However, Shane was obviously not in an agreement to that plan, looking at Evan. "Let me tell you something- you might have killed a few of those fuckers but there's still plenty more roaming these woods looking for a nice meal. We're sitting ducks out here. And we can keep searching- I'm all for it- but that doesn't mean we don't need to move."

The woman shifted the baby in her arms, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear before meeting Shane's eyes evenly, "I don't know much about you, but I like to think I'm damn good at reading people. You're a badass, a survivor, a lone wolf- and we need things like that in our people, especially in this world. But the thing about you is that you have absolutely no regard or understanding for how precious human life is now. We are the very last of a dying fucking breed, Shane, and its going to take a lot more than a mere existence to keep us going. You're in it for the species but I'm in it for the people because that is how we survive and thrive and live! And goddamn it, we are not leaving our people, no matter how small or defenseless they are, behind. So suck it up and hunker the fuck down- we need to start planning the search parties."

Everyone was taken aback by her sharp words, the woman looking down at her daughter with a soft smile. "Now while the big boys get their shit together, mommy's gonna take you to get some food in your tummy," Evan said as she cooed at Jude, turning her back on the men to move towards the campfire.

Her eyes met Carol's as she sat down, the older woman looking at her with a soft but insincere smile on her face. "So we're staying." Evan nodded, saddened by how lifeless her voice seemed, Carol's face tired and wrung- losing a child was probably the worst pain any woman could go through. She reached out to touch her hands as she twisted them together nervously, looking at the woman seriously. "We'll find her," Evan murmured, seeing the tears that came into her eyes. "I promise you that."

"Evan," Daryl called from over by the treeline, almost as if he was barking at her. Claire came to take the baby and she smoothed down her pants, crossing the camp over to where he stood. She searched his eyes for a moment and came to a stop in front of him, seeing Daryl stare over her shoulder for another heartbeat. "Hey, ya should know that woman's husband used to beat the hell out of her and the kid. Don't go making her promises ya can't keep-" Evan eyed Daryl, tucking her hair behind her ear and crossing her arms over her chest, "I plan on keeping that promise."

He nodded and sighed, raising his crossbow as he looked at her again. "Alright. Well, I'm gonna kit up and head out- going looking for her again," Daryl said gruffly at her, turning to squint through the woods. "Want me to come with you," she asked almost hopefully, the hunter shaking his head. "Naw, I'll move faster on my own. Ya can run but you like to gab too much."

Evan smirked and reached out to squeeze his arm, her eyes meeting his again as she tried not to think about how nice and muscular he felt underneath her fingers, "Just… be careful out there, alright? And try and come back before dark? Just for my piece of mind, please."

"Be careful."

"Mmhm."

She watched him turn his back on her and start loping off into the woods, hearing Fenris bark back over her shoulder. The dog flew past her, catching up to Daryl just as he disappeared from sight, Evan hearing Daryl swear loudly at her dog. But she knew that it was no good to do so and smirked- as she saw it, that damn Fenris only liked people just as stubborn as him and it was a given that he just wouldn't leave a stubborn man like Daryl Dixon alone.

Lori moved to where Evan was standing, seeing the younger woman turn slightly, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

"What?"

The older woman chuckled easily and shook her head, crossing her arms over her chest. "People are starting to talk about what's going on between you and Daryl. You may not have noticed, but he doesn't… like people and yeah he's with us, but only because he has nowhere else to go. But with you, Daryl seems almost like the rest of us," Lori said lightly, not catching the way Evan's eyes narrowed. The former soldier shoved both of her hands into her back pockets and looked at Rick's wife, tossing her hair back over her shoulder again. "Well, I don't think he's the problem- did your group ever try to talk to him? Try and figure out what he was about," Evan replied almost defensively, Lori looking at her in near shock. She pursed her lips for a moment before tucking her hair behind her ears, shaking her head again, "I think I know about as much about Daryl as I want to know… He and his brother Merle came into camp out of the backwoods; they'd been out there ripping people off and pretty much throwing them to the walkers. The Dixon brothers made it very clear that they don't like strangers, they don't like women and in the words of Merle Dixon, they 'don't like no niggers neither'."

"Well, maybe that's what you saw wherever you were, but I don't see that Lori: not in him. And I haven't done anything with Daryl but talk to him because the way he looks at things is really… different than how I know other people look at the same. He's a damn good man, even if you don't know it yet- he's out there, looking for that little girl already this morning," Evan said, starting to turn away before looking back at Lori over her shoulder once again. She narrowed her eyes, her lips drawn into a thin line as she looked over the slender woman again, "And I don't see you out there.

"So, what the hell does that say about you?"

* * *

Evan and James were kitting up for their leg in the search, seeing T-Dog and Glenn return from looking for Sophia. The two men met Evan's eyes, the young Asian man shaking his head as they moved to rinse their hands off in the large tub of water alongside the RV.

"This isn't good, sis- this stretch of the forest is only so big, and I doubt that she crossed the river by herself. What is it cops say, 'You got twenty-four hours to find them alive'; mortality rates get higher every hour after that," James murmured as he put his hunting knife on his hip and sighed, his arms coming across his chest. His friend stood and pulled her hair up into a ponytail, casting a glance over her shoulder at Carol and Lori, the older woman consoling the grieving mother. "I know. But she's only been gone for just over two days, Jaime; kids these days are more resilient, though and she's just probably hiding out somewhere waiting on us to find her. We just gotta find her-"

There was a gunshot further off in the woods and everyone looked at each other, knowing that no one would risk shooting a gun- especially only one shot- with the herd still out there. "T-Dog, Glenn! I need you to go after Daryl and bring him back to camp. We're going after Rick and Shane; the rest of you need to pack up, now! Dale, keep watch and Lincoln, keep these people safe," Evan shouted as she started barking orders, she and James taking off in a flat run in the general direction where the others had gone earlier in the day. They had started marking the trees to keep up with each other and clear where they had searched, the two former soldiers finding them with ease.

"Jesus Christ!"

Evan and James slid to a stop where Carl was lying motionless on the ground, Rick covered in blood as he cried out for help. James went into medic mode, pulling the boy's father away and pushing him towards Evan. The woman wrapped her arms around the sheriff as she went on one knee to bring him back from where James was working, speaking to him, "Come away from him Rick, come on now. Let us help him, alright? That's what we're going to do- we're gonna do our best but you gotta move away." She gave him to Shane and started helping James run the triage of the young boy's stomach wound, the two former soldiers packing the wound. Evan tried to push away her memories of her own wounding and looked at James, seeing how dark his eyes were. "This is a fucking gunshot wound, on a twelve year old kid! I was trying to find the bullet but the damn thing broke up inside of him- this is bad Evan." She nodded and continued to assist, looking around to notice the stranger standing a little ways away from the rest of her group. "Alright, what the hell happened," Evan asked as she pulled out another pack of gauze pads from James' small med kit. She looked at Rick as he dragged his hand down his face, looking like he was going into shock. "We were looking for Sophia and this… this deer came out of nowhere! He wanted to touch it; that's all he wanted, was to touch the deer…"

"I was hunting and the doe finally came to a stop- it was a long shot, I was standing up on the ridge back there and I didn't see him. I didn't see any of them!"

James looked at the woman at his side, trying to keep adequate pressure on Carl's profusely bleeding wound, "Evan, those walkers gotta be moving towards us with as loud as that shot was- and I can't help Carl here, not in all this dirt… We gotta move him." She nodded and looked at the stranger, placing her hands over James' to help with keeping pressure on the profusely bleeding wound. "You- what's your name?" His bottom lip trembled, the man pointing back through the trees and struggling to speak. "I'm Otis- I live just, just back that way, on a farm with a doctor," he said hurriedly, Evan looking once more at the men around her. She nodded again and pulled her shirt over her head, ripping the bottom hem into strips that she and James tied around Carl's midsection. "Alright then, Otis: you're gonna take Rick, Shane and James back to your farm with Carl. I'll go back to the camp-"

"No, Lori doesn't know. I have to tell Lori…"

"Rick, listen to me," Evan shouted as she stood, moving to grip the man by the arms. "Look at me and listen to what I'm telling you… Take your boy to get help. I will go get Lori and we will find you- I promise! But if you don't go now, Carl will be the second child we've lost and we do not lose! So go, and God speed."

She watched as the men did as she said, James and Rick holding the injured boy between them as they set off to get Carl help. Shane looked at her for a moment longer, a knowing glance being exchanged before he nodded and followed after the others.

Evan heard an inhuman growl reach her and turned to meet the flat, glazed eyes of a walker, next hearing the growls of others. She pulled her own knife, setting herself into a defensive stance- she still had a mission to see through. "I've had about enough of you dead fucks." The first walker lunged and she put it down with ease, panting as she went to work…


	9. I Can Fix That

Daryl tapped his knife into the tree stump before him, tensely passing the time as he waited for the others to come back. It had been nearly an hour since he had heard the gunshot echo through the trees, running back to the camp as fast he could, prepared to fight and die if he had to. But all he had found when he had made it back was scared women and children, T-Dog, Glenn, Lincoln and Dale all keeping watch for the others as they set about protecting the camp.

"I gotta go after them," he said finally after his anxiety had reached its breaking point, the hunter standing and slinging his bow over his shoulder with purpose.

Dale stood and shook his head, the rest of the group looking at him, "Hey, Evan said to stay here and wait for her and the others to get back. If we were supposed to be out in the woods, she would have told us so. Listen to her orders Daryl- she's the one who's allowing us to stay here with her and her group, after all."

"I don't take orders from anyone- not from Rick, not from Evan and especially not from the likes of ya, old man," Daryl said defensively, his eyes narrowing in anger. "Besides, if they ain't made it back yet, that means there's trouble."

Evan drug herself out of the tree line, limping slightly and breathing hard. She had had to fight her way through about two dozen walkers before being able to break free of the crush, trying to find the marked path back to camp. Unfortunately, somewhere in the midst of it all, she had taken a wrong turn and ended up bashing herself into a large fallen tree, injuring her ankle and hurting her shoulder. But she had made it back, the heat of the day and her mounting burdens starting to take its toll on her.

Daryl turned and raised his bow as he heard a branch crack behind him, everyone turning to see Evan standing there. She looked like hell, covered in a mixture of dirt and what looked like to be a fair amount of blood, her hair wild and her body obviously hurting. "Stop right there before I have to put ya down Evan," he shouted, hearing the girls scream behind him as he started towards her. She didn't heed his words however, tossing down her knife angrily and shouting at him bitingly, "I'm not bit, you son of a bitch! Its not my goddamn blood!" He looked her over as Evan finally came to a stop in front of him, looking at her eyes- they were normal, hard though they were. Daryl waved Glenn and Lincoln over, motioning for them to bring the tub as Evan continued to look at him. "Evan, where are the others," he asked a little less roughly, Evan moving to kick her boots off before standing in the tub and pour water over herself. She was caked in a generous layer filth and the smell coming off of her was something he had encountered before: fresh blood, walker flesh, sweat and human fear. The woman looked at him as she washed herself off the best she could, shaking her head, "On a farm somewhere up the highway… Carl got shot out there, Daryl; bad belly wound-"

"Shot," Lori said, horrified as she looked at Evan. "What- what happened? Where is my son, my husband? Tell me what happened!"

Before Evan could speak however, a rider came through the trees astride a massive horse, charging into camp with a bat in her hand. "Lori? Is Lori Grimes here," the stranger asked, the older woman rushing forward to answer her. The others watched as the woman extended her hand to Rick's wife, speaking urgently, "Lori, my name is Maggie Greene. Your husband and son are at my family's farm- the boy's been hurt bad; I was sent after you to bring you back. There isn't any time to waste-"

"Hey, ya ain't getting on that horse and riding off into the distance, Lori! We don't know who the hell she is," Daryl said, the woman looking back at him before taking Maggie's hand and settling herself on top of the horse behind her. "No. I have to go…" Evan nodded and knew that her obligations as a mother were more important than her assumed duty to the group, motioning towards where the highway was, "Go on Lori. We'll find you after."

The woman started off before looking back at the group, searching their faces carefully with gentle eyes.

"The farm is about four miles up the road and off to the left through the first town you find- just keep going until you can't go no more. Oh, and to whichever one of you is Evan, Rick says 'Thank you'. You kept Carl alive."

They left then, Evan stepping out of the tub and looking at the group honestly. "Alright, everyone needs to load up and make sure everything's ready for us to go: we're… leaving," she said quietly, making the one decision she hadn't wanted to- choosing between continuing to search for Sophia and having to leave her and her safety to fate. Carol cried out and Dale moved to console her, Daryl looking at the woman standing before him.

"Come here- yer hurt Evan. Let me help ya."

As the rest of the group started to pack up, Daryl followed Evan to her train car, seeing her pull out a change of clothes and some gauze wraps, tossing them to her companion. "Do you know how to wrap a shoulder properly," she questioned, turning her back on him as she started to undress. He grunted something quietly in response that sounded strangely like, "I guess I'll figure it out," Evan knowing that she didn't have another bra to change into and that it would be pointless for him to wrap her shoulder with a tank top on. She changed her underwear and pulled her hair to the side, standing uncertainly away from him. "Don't let your hands wander or I'll bash you in the face and drop you like a sack of bricks and do it quicker than you can blink…"

Daryl moved to where she stood, staring at her naked back, "I ain't no pervert and I ain't about to take advantage of ya. Give me a break already." He placed his hand on her shoulder and she winced as she shied away, not wanting him to put pressure on her. "Ya got it dislocated." Evan nodded and looked at him out of the corner of her eye, confirming his observation. "Yeah, but I just need you to help me hold it together until James can-" She screamed as Daryl grabbed her wrist and rotated her shoulder, feeling the bone slide back into place.

"Fixed it."

She tried not to let her tears spill as he wrapped her arm and moved his hands around her upper chest, feeling how gingerly- and respectfully- he touched her then, as compared to the forced care he had applied to her shoulder. Daryl helped her pull her tank top over her, moving to sit as she held out her ankle to him. "It don't look too bad; ya probably just rolled it or something," he murmured, trying not to look at her legs as he took her foot into his lap. He could feel Evan staring at him as she leaned back against the wall, neither of them speaking as he worked.

"How'd you know how to do stuff like this," she asked quietly as he made sure to secure her ankle in an almost immobilizing fashion. Daryl chuckled once humorlessly, continuing to patch her up, "My dad used to beat the shit out of me and my brothers; between that and living out in the woods where accidents are a given, I had to learn. No one was ever thankful for it though- said it was 'woman' shit…"

"I'm thankful."

Daryl looked up at Evan and met her eyes, knowing somehow that she wasn't lying. He had never been able to trust what anyone said before without being a pessimist, wondering what their true, ulterior motives were and wondering what it was going to cost him. However, here Evan was, sitting right before him and she wasn't trying to get in easy with him to try and use him- or at least it didn't seem that way- and she wasn't asking anything from him: he had nothing to offer her. And so he nodded, patting her calf a little awkwardly as he stood, "Yer welcome."

"Are you packed," Evan asked, getting to her feet and pulling her pants on.

"I ain't going with ya."

She scrambled to follow after him, landing on her good foot and practically hopping after the hunter, moving past her boots before stopping to pull them on. "What the hell do you mean you're not coming with us?" Daryl moved to light a cigarette, bending down to start tossing bags into the bed of the pickup truck. "I mean that I'm staying here- someone's gotta keep looking for that little girl and I'm the one who ain't gonna give up," he replied gruffly, the rest of the camp following his lead with filling the vehicles. Evan looked at him almost in disbelief, pulling him around by the back of his shirt to face her. He would have almost said that she looked like she was about to cry, the former soldier searching his eyes, "I had to fight to save my fucking kid two days ago Daryl- had to put us in a drainpipe and use rocks to bash the geeks trying to get at us! And just today I put down another two dozen walkers just to run my ass back to camp. And now you're- you're asking me to just pack up and walk away from you, leave you here? Are you crazy?" Daryl gripped her by the top of her arms and shook her once, the cigarette dangling out of the side of his mouth. "Ya said that we were all responsible for each other, and y'all are leaving- someone's gotta be responsible for Sophia, right? I'm offering to do it, I'm volunteering to stay because that's the right thing to do Evan!"

They looked at each other for a moment before Evan let out a heavy, rough breath and wrenched her arms away from him, snatching Daryl's cigarette from his lips as she turned back to her group.

"Dale, do you mind taking my three and Claire with you in your RV," Evan asked, the old man helping them get settled. The woman made sure everything was in their caravan, people starting to pile into the cars. She sighed before turning back to Daryl, seeing him stand by the fire pit and running her fingers through her mess of tangled hair. "You don't have to do this Daryl, take on this… risk just to prove yourself to them. You don't have to prove yourself to anyone; I wish you'd just change your mind and come with us like you're supposed to. People aren't meant to be alone, not in this world, not like this."

"Ya ever think that maybe I am? That I enjoy being alone," Daryl asked harshly, trying to get her away from him as quickly as he could; there was this growing feeling of discomfort from her showing so much… concern and compassion for him, especially in front of everybody.

Evan just opened the door to her pickup truck, Fenris jumping into the front seat between her and Lincoln. "No, I don't- because if you really did believe that, you wouldn't be here with them or us. You would've been gone a long time ago. And yet you're here," she said pointedly, seeing the look of unwanted comprehension dawn on his rugged features. "Don't get yourself killed, hunter- it'll make me look bad."

* * *

Evan led the procession onto the farm, looking at how untouched it seemed, "This is crazy…"

She saw the woman from earlier come out onto the porch, waving them around to a flat area between two large oak trees. Evan parked where she said to and looked at Maggie as she stepped out of the truck, tucking her hair behind her ears.

"Is he alright," the former soldier asked quietly, concerned with Carl's health.

"He's… hanging on."

Evan nodded and took a deep breath, a heavy weight lifted off of her shoulders. She looked past Maggie to where an older man appeared on the porch with James, the two of them drying their hands. "Who is he," she questioned, Maggie turning as she shielded her eyes. "That's my dad, Hershel Greene: he owns the farm." Evan nodded and smoothed her shirt down, walking towards the men. James looked at her before hugging her tightly, visibly shaken and she knew why- he had never had to work on a kid like that, not even when they had been at Bennington. Evan just held him tightly and buried her face in his neck, whispering quietly to him, "Its alright- you did your job; you saved him."

"Well, he's not out of the woods yet," Hershel spoke up finally, the two separating as Evan looked at him. "But we've gotten the bleeding stopped for now; however, we're gonna need some more supplies when it comes time to do the surgery to get the fragments out. Rick said something about a man named Evan who could take care of that?"

The woman smiled ruefully and extended her hand, the old man looking at her curiously, "Hello Mr. Greene, I'm Evan Harper."

"You're the soldier?"

"Was the soldier," Evan replied quietly, running her fingers back through her hair. She looked back over her shoulder at her group, sighing as she folded her arms over her chest. "Thank you Mr. Greene. For all of this- letting us be with our people and taking care of Carl. I know you didn't have to do that, but I thank you all the same."

Hershel smiled and nodded, seeming to look at his daughter, "It's the Christian thing to do."

James reached out to grip his partner's shoulder, looking at her seriously and sighing. "He's stable for now, but who knows when the dressing will blow and the pressure alleviate? Kid doesn't need another catastrophic bleed before we work on him- supplies are already low…" The woman placed her hands on her hips then and looked down at her feet, kicking at something that wasn't there. "Can he hold for a few hours, you think? Its going to take me a little while to get the supplies and pick up some other rations… and I gotta argue with Daryl too; he stayed back at camp to wait for Sophia," Evan said, looking back at the two men. They talked about the young boy's condition and decided that the best option was to allow Carl's body to stabilize further, giving Evan permission to take her time.

"I'll be back before sunrise."

She went back to the pickup truck and took the last few bags out of the bed, moving to search through her book bag before tossing it back into the front seat. "Hey, are you planning on leaving again," Claire asked, hefting Jude up into her arms. The little girl babbled and chewed on her fingers, Evan smiling at her daughter as she moved to kiss her cheeks. "Carl needs more gauze and things… and I'm going back to get Daryl. I hate to ask, but can you watch the girls for me? James is all caught up with the kid and I gotta do this- I'm pretty sure that I'm the only person that stubborn ass man will listen to. I'll owe you one Claire," the woman asked, reaching out to smooth down Jude's curls. The older woman shook her head and looked back at where the two girls were sitting with Andrea and Dale, the twins looking at Evan. "Don't worry about your girls: I love them like they're my own. And I already know what you're going to say, but maybe you should take someone with you?"

"I don't want to drag anyone else back out there; its alright. I'll be fine."

Evan climbed into her truck and looked at Fenris as he ran across their temporary campsite, the German Shepard barking at his owner. "Fenris, stay here and watch Jude," she ordered sternly, the dog whining as he sat back on his haunches by Claire's feet. She pulled off and headed back to the highway, driving past a few country shops before finding what she was looking for, grabbing her machete off of the floor and slipping quietly into the approaching darkness…

Daryl was sitting in front of the fire as he took a cigarette break, staring into its flickering depths and sighing.

He had spent all afternoon looking for Sophia, scouring the forest and finding nothing. It was frustrating really- she was just a kid and she was honestly getting the best of a seasoned hunter, two soldiers and several guys that knew how to hunt people down.

"Damn kids…"

He found himself thinking of how quiet it was without all the other children running around and he hated to say it, but Daryl had gotten himself used to hearing the sounds of a world that seemed without walkers or bad, the group almost it had gotten away from the apocalypse. But he could never get away, not with how he had fooled himself here, with those people because it all just found a way of coming back to bite him right in the ass.

Daryl found himself back on his feet with his bow raised, hearing the car coming through the woods. He lowered it when he saw the now-familiar pickup truck, chuckling once humorlessly and shaking his head. Evan parked and got out, a smile on her face as she held up a case of beer and a large bottle of whiskey, "Mind helping me with the hooch?"

"Ya came back and ya came bearing gifts," Daryl noted, impressed as he moved to open the passenger side door to see another case and two brown bags worth of liquor. "Why all the booze?"

"Hoped I could bribe you back to the group with it. Come on, have a drink with me," she replied lightly, setting her things by the fire before moving to sit. She cracked open the bottle of whiskey before holding it out to Daryl, the male sitting on the log next to hers. He smirked and reached out for it, bringing it to his lips, "Ya know, I never realized just how fucking awful ya are. Annoying as shit…"

She smirked and nodded in agreement, tucking her hair behind her ears. "I admit, I'm persistent as fuck. And I hate to say it- I really do- but I care about you Daryl Dixon. I can't help it: I'm a lover, not a fighter… Well, I guess I am a fighter, but that's just really semantics; what I'm saying is that as long as I'm around, you don't get to be alone. And I'm still here," Evan said with a smile, opening her own bottle of vodka.

The two drank in silence before Daryl looked back at the woman, sighing as he ran a hand back through his hair. "Yer the first person that has ever said yer thankful for anything I've ever done… and yer the first person that has ever said ya cared about me. I don't like that," Daryl murmured, feeling her eyes on him as he turned away to stare back into the fire.

"Yeah, you do," she replied matter-of-factly, taking another swig from her bottle. "You just don't know how to handle it."

"Ya don't even know me."

Evan stared at him with her eyes narrowed, nodding as she stood and began to pace. "I know enough: you're a hard ass because you don't feel like you fit anywhere. You said that you wanted to be alone, and yet you're running with a group of ten- now seventeen- and you're out here in the fucking woods, looking for a little girl you don't owe anything to. You're a hard ass because you lost the only blood you had when your brother disappeared. And you're a hard ass because no one has ever given a damn about you- or so you've believed." He smirked and stood as well, moving towards her boldly, "Ya forgot to mention that my dad used to beat the shit out of me and my brothers and my ma as well. Ya know, that could have something to do with it, or the fact that I spent three years locked up in a juvenile detention facility after I got into a fight where I kid got killed."

"You kill him," Evan asked quietly, seeing the look come into his eye. He shook his head and moved to stand away from her, one of his fists shoved into his pocket, "I look like a killer to ya?"

"I dunno- I've never hand the chance to slug you."

Evan set her bottle down and held her arms out, looking at Daryl with a smile on her face. "Are ya fucking with me right now," he asked in disbelief, the woman moving to tie her tank top up before balling her hands into fists. "Do I look like I'm kidding? Come on; if you're such a bad ass, what is a girl like me gonna do," Evan questioned, seeing him toss his whiskey to the side. "Hurt your pride?"

She was ready when he lunged at her, preparing herself to hit the ground even as she brought her hands together and forced her elbows down between his shoulder blades. Daryl grunted and made sure to punch her in the side in an attempt to put her off of fighting him, the woman seeming to ignore it as she made good on her wish to pop him in the face. He found himself on his back when she kicked him off of her, Evan moving to grapple with him as he caught her in a headlock. Evan was a much better brawler than Daryl had pegged her for and he wasn't expecting it when she flipped her body over his, dropping her weight onto his chest, knocking the wind out of him. She then moved to straddle him, holding his wrists down and looking at him, panting, "So no, you ain't no killer; hell, you're not even a good fighter-" Daryl bucked up and flipped her off of him, pulling himself into a sitting position.

"How 'bout ya go fuck yer self Evan," he said, breathing hard as he refused to look at her.

Evan scoffed and stood, turning her back on him. "Yeah, you'd enjoy seeing that wouldn't you, hunter? You're so hard on me, you gotta pick fights and make an ass of yourself to get a reaction out of me..." She bent down to grab at her bottle before hearing Daryl stand, turning to look at him.

He took a generous swallow of his drink as he eyed her carefully, sizing her up and smirking. "Ah, but yer considering it, aren't ya? Makes sense, I guess- ain't stupid, been seeing ya throw me glances and staring at me just the same as I stare at ya. So what's stopping ya now? Ain't nobody here and ain't nobody gonna know," Daryl said, seeing her eyes narrow slightly.

"You're fucking drunk," she muttered, watching him as he threw the empty bottle to the side and pull his shirt over his head. Evan couldn't help staring at the hunter, seeing his muscles pull and flex as he moved on his sinewy frame, Daryl pulling his belt off. "And so are ya- if ya want, I'll let you blame it on the alcohol…"

She bit her bottom lip before walking towards him with a purpose, pulling her shirt over her head as she slammed into his chest, Daryl's hands coming up to rest on her hips. Evan wrapped an arm around her neck and she pulled his mouth down to hers, her other hand digging into the flesh off his shoulder. He had never had a woman kiss him like she did, her tongue lavishing both of his lips before slipping into his mouth, Evan attempting to dominate him before he finally started to kiss her back. Evan gasped as Daryl pulled her hips firmly against his, feeling how well-endowed he was and biting down on her lip. He felt her hand grip the back of his neck as he hoisted her onto his waist, raising a hand to undo her bra clasp as he took her over to the blanket he had laid out in anticipation for his night alone.

"Fuck."

Evan was more uninhibited than he thought she would be, yanking off her bra and tossing it to the side. "What, you don't know what to do," she asked in challenge, the man on top of her pinning her arms like she had his own, looking down at her. Daryl gently bit down at the place where her jaw and neck met, feeling her raise up underneath him. He continued downwards, increasing the pressure until he came to one of the perfect breasts he had had to take a double look at the day he saw her bathing at the lake, taking a nipple between her teeth.

She wrapped her arms around his waist and closed her eyes, allowing him to do as he pleased. Daryl gave her a generous working over, Evan feeling the goose bumps appear on her skin from where his tongue met her flesh. He was driving her mad with what he was doing to her, especially when he started to blow across stiffened peaks- she never would have thought with her previous knowledge of the rugged hunter that he was a generous man and well-versed in foreplay.

Daryl settled back on his knees as he undid her belt, smirking at how she reached down to assist him, Evan shimmying out of her jeans. She knew exactly what his intentions where and she wasn't about to stop him or say no, feeling his hands wrap around the top of her underwear as he- rather gently- pulled them off. "Goddamn, yer fucking perfect… Ya taste perfect too? Huh," Daryl asked teasingly, staring down between her legs hungrily. Evan moved so that she could grip him around the back of his head, urging him downwards, "How about you stop talking already?"

The sound she made when he slipped a finger into her tight folds nearly made him come in his pants, the fabric feeling uncomfortably tight. Daryl looked up at her with an eyebrow raised, seeing her grip her left breast tightly as she bucked her hips up towards him. He pulled her to his mouth and used his hands to wrap around her thighs, making sure he had a good enough hold on her that she wouldn't break his face when she came. Evan cried out as he took his time to explore, the woman threading her fingers through his hair and pulling knots in it. He could read her like a book, knowing exactly where to touch and lick and suck and bite, hooking her legs over his shoulders.

She had never been so turned on in her life before, knowing that this was very taboo but that frankly, she didn't give a damn, biting her bottom lip as she thought of Daryl Dixon- grimy, scruffy, hard ass hunter- with his face firmly buried between her thighs.

He could feel that it hit her out of nowhere, twisting entire body as she tried to bury her face in the blanket, Daryl rolling with the punches and allowing her to rest on her knees over top of him. She rode his face as she came, her eyes squeezed shut firmly, feeling him grip her tighter and tighter as he stayed with her. And then she fell back, breathing hard, Daryl smirking quietly to himself.

"Jesus Christ," Evan said, running her fingers back through her hair.

Daryl pressed a kiss to her still-sensitive core before moving to lay her beside him, feeling how limp her body was as she sought to move. He sat up and ruffled his hair as he looked down at her heaving chest, licking his lips before he chuckled.

"What's so funny," she asked, bringing her arm up to shield her eyes as she attempted to cover her flushed face as well. He shrugged and brought his knees up, draping his arms over them. "I was just being a dick when I was chiding ya for tasting perfect… but I gotta admit, ya do. Can't say I didn't enjoy myself," he replied, hearing her scoff and move to bend her legs at the knees. "Yeah, seemed like you were having fun."

"Like a goddamn kid in a playground…"

They both shared a chuckle and then Evan sat up, bringing her arms over her chest. He didn't know why she was being bashful now, tossing her the underwear he had done away with and moving to grab the rest of her clothes.

He lit a cigarette as she dressed behind him, hearing her move towards him and holding it out. "Here- ya need it more than me," Daryl said, seeing her long fingers pull it to her lips as she twisted her hair up on the top of her head. She watched him pull on his tee shirt and sighed, looking at him, "So… I let you do what you want with me and now you have to come back."

"Ya let me do what I wanted with ya? Are ya kidding me?"

Evan looked at him in an almost glaring fashion, the hunter shaking his head and folding his arms over his chest. "Well, ya may have been otherwise distracted but I didn't get mine and that doesn't seem fair, so why should I give ya something else that ya want when yer already in debt to me, honey," Daryl asked pointedly, seeing how narrowed her eyes got and smiling. "Oh, so you wanna be even? Because trust me, I can do that," Evan replied boldly, the hunter shrugging and pulling out another cigarette for himself.

"I'll take a rain check," he finally said with a smirk, sitting on the nearest log. "But we'll go back, once ya sober up."

"I'm good and sober, Dixon."

He just let out a sigh and reached up to scratch his head, not sure what to say to her next, "This ain't gonna change nothing between us, ya know. Sounds rough, but yer just a girl to me- fun, though."

"Well other than us getting even, I agree because this isn't about to happen again and it isn't gonna go any further. I already told you, I got a lot of habits and a lot of vices. And you were a fix: don't think anything of it," she said smartly, throwing her cigarette butt into the fire as she eyed him.

"A fix," Daryl retorted almost sharply, looking at her with icy cold blue eyes. "If that's the case, then I think I'm gonna have that rain check right about now. At least that'll shut you up for a bit…"


	10. Faith

Daryl sat quietly leaning against the door with his boot propped up against the dashboard as Evan drove, smoking a cigarette. She had her hands wrapped tightly around the steering wheel and as he looked at her, he couldn't help but remember how those hands had felt on his back. He remembered how her nails scratched enough to hurt, but not deep enough to bleed, still feeling the memory of her fingers as they had pulled knots in his hair. Daryl shifted to alleviate the sudden discomfort he found himself in, catching green eyes as they slid over to catch the slight movement.

"Stop starin'."

Evan scoffed and ran her fingers back through her hair, peering out into the darkness. She had almost made a smart remark, but didn't want to give him the satisfaction of hearing just how hoarse she was.

They pulled up to the farm and Daryl leaned forward to look at things, the woman jumping out with her book bag slung over her shoulder. He eyed the big house Evan was walking towards before allowing himself to watch the swing of her hips- now that he thought about it, he probably shouldn't have ever touched her. Because now every time he looked at her, Daryl remembered the taste and the feel of her, even when he should have been thinking about other, more important things.

Evan knocked in the screen door, hearing someone walk quickly across the floor to answer her. It was the doctor's daughter, her eyes grateful as she welcomed the woman into the house, "Daddy and your friend are up with Carl. The bleeding started again..."

She entered the room where Carl was laying, unconscious on the bed, seeing Rick sitting in the corner with an IV in his arm, a small milk jug collecting his blood. She knew that they had been doing blood transfusions between father and son from the look of the sheriff's drawn face, setting her back pack down. "I found a little vet office up the road and found some sutures and gauze pad- there wasn't much else," Evan said roughly as James emerged from what looked like to be a side bathroom, drying his hands and looking at her. "That's alright, we may have found somewhere else. Come on- we'll step outside to talk."

James led his friend back to the porch where Shane sat on the banister, his face still covered in flecks of Carl's blood, Otis leaning unobtrusively against the side of the house. She was instantly aware then that she had been led to a meeting, crossing her arms over her chest as she waited for one of them to speak. "This… uh, this is bad Evan," James said, running his fingers back through his hair and sighing. "When the bullet hit him, the bullet broke into seven fragments- we got two of them out, but what's stopping us from getting the rest is that they're buried too deep. If we were to just go in and operate on him, he would move and scream like he did the first time, and an artery could get severed. His pressure is already low and its still dropping- we don't need that."

"So what do we do? He's bleeding internally and we're just standing here, looking at each other," she replied darkly, Shane lifting his head to meet her eyes- he obviously felt the same way. James sighed again, gesturing to their surroundings, "Look at where we are, for fuck's sake! We're on a goddamn farm- we don't have the equipment to do a major surgery!"

Otis spoke then, his voice quiet and subdued with remorse as piercing green eyes fell on him. "But they have everything they would need at the FEMA command post down the road; they set it up at the local high school when the sickness hit, about five miles from here. It was overrun the last time I saw it, but maybe its better now."

"I doubt that. Highly," Shane said harshly, his voice layered thick with accusation and loathing. Evan nodded and tucked her hair behind her ears, looking back up at James. "I'll go-that's rough territory and they need someone like me with them. And I know this is killing you to ask me, but you know that you'll do more good here. Its alright; stay," she said as she reached out to grip his shoulder, the former soldier reaching up to grab her hand.

When they started moving to get ready for the supply run, James held Evan tightly so that he could talk to her privately, his eyes searching her face carefully. "Are you okay to do this? Your face is all… weird and your voice doesn't sound right," he said, the woman pulling herself away from him and starting down the porch to where her people were around the camp fire.

"I'm fine. Sore throat, that's all…"

She moved to pack up, moving quickly without saying much to the others before sensing someone come up behind her. Evan was bent over tying her boots by then, straightening up slowly and turning to look at Daryl, his blue eyes narrowed.

"Where the fuck ya going," he questioned gruffly, the woman scoffing as she pulled her tank top over her head in exchange for an Army-issue undershirt. "I'm going to make a run with the others, get some equipment for Carl," Evan replied without knowing why she was even taking time to explain herself to him, the former soldier strapping her gun into her thigh holster. "In the middle of the fucking night? Are ya crazy or just stupid?"

"Come on… Have at least a little bit of faith in me."

Daryl scoffed and stepped closer to her, trying to make her change her mind, "I'm serious! Ya need to go and sit yer ass down and leave the guerilla games to the men- ya have been up doing shit and running around all day, Evan. Ya ain't got enough energy for this!"

"Since when did you call yourself caring about what the fuck I do? Huh, was it after you ate my fucking pussy or after I sucked your dick? Get the hell outta my face Dixon and let me do my job!"

He wrenched her around by the arm as she turned her back on him, not knowing what else to say to stop her from going- he had a bad feeling about letting her walk off. Evan looked at him and pulled away, smirking almost hatefully at him, "You know what, fine! Let's forget about the fact that I was a well-trained soldier and let's ignore that I was a recon specialist for the fucking United States Army. Let's overlook the fact that although I'm small, that I'm the fastest one out here and I can carry weight. And let's not mention that I am a greatly skilled shooter, with over two hundred kills to my name, both human and non! Let's just look at the fact that you said yourself that I'm nothing more than a girl to you! So take your bullshit feelings and shove them right up your ass Daryl!"

The hunter was glad they were far enough away from camp that it would have been next to impossible for the others to hear their angry whispers, stepping back from her as she stared him down.

"Fine, whatever! Ya go out there and get yer dumbass killed, at least I know I ain't gotta worry about it being on my conscious! Fucking hardheaded ass woman…"

Evan's nostrils flared before she jerked her chin at her pickup truck, walking towards where Shane and Otis were waiting by another. "Fuck off! And you'd better have that piece of junk out of my truck by the time I get back," she snapped back, Daryl's shoulders rising and falling as he breathed angrily.

He watched her pack their things into the pickup truck before climbing into the bed, sitting on top of a book bag as she stared back him. The truck pulled off, leaving a cloud of dust in its wake, obscuring her from view. Daryl looked at her truck and kicked the door angrily before turning back to the camp, retrieving his cross bow and slinking out into the forest alone.

* * *

She looked at how pale her knuckles were from the lack of blood in them, loosening her fist slightly; she felt bad about throwing things into Daryl's face like that, but she had to do what she had to do and he wasn't going to stop her. Evan knew that she was a hypocrite for bringing him back to camp just to run off on her own, knowing that all he had wanted to do was help. It wasn't the same though, not when she knew what she was doing- what she had been trained for years to do- and he was just some idiot running around the woods trying to be Rambo without a care to his own health or well-being. She was right to put him in his place once and for all, putting him back with the group so that she could keep an eye on him.

They arrived at the high school quickly enough, Evan turning and standing up in the truck bed to look at the school grounds. It was still overrun by walkers and she could see the FEMA trailers standing in the distance, seemingly untouched, the soldier quietly formulating a plan as the two men began to talk. "Hey Shane? You cops carry flares in your cars, right," she asked conspiratorially, staring at an abandoned cruiser just on the other side of the fence.

He stepped out of the truck and Evan followed after him, her machete held tightly in her hand. "Break this and move- they already sense us," Shane said as he looked down at her, his face determined. She nodded and did as he said, moving to hold the gate to protect her from the walkers, watching as he broke into the cruiser. Shane popped the trunk and reached in as he looked over his shoulder at the lurching bodies around him, pulling out two flares. Evan shielded her eyes as he set them off before pitching them far away from the humans, distracting the walkers.

Otis brought her one of the bags as he ran to where Shane was, the three moving quickly to the medical trailer without any problems. The former sheriff's deputy kicked the door in and Evan moved in before him, checking for walkers before looking at all of the equipment before them. "Hershel gave me a list, and it says to get-"

"Fuck the list," Evan said quietly, reaching out for what she knew to be a respirator. "Get everything you can…"

They filled the duffel bags quickly, Evan having to sit on hers to get it closed, a quiet smile on her face. "This is everything I think we could ever need in a medical emergency. At least now we're prepared for anything," she murmured almost happily, slinging the bag over her shoulder. Shane smiled and nodded as well, getting ready to gear up, "Let's just make it so we never need it, alright?"

Otis opened the door and they peered out to find the walkers searching for food, Evan swallowing at the fact that there was a very narrow path to the pickup that none of them could get through without the chance of being bitten. She started down the ramp and began slicing away, trying to find a way out. Her eyes landed on the school and she winced, shouting back at Shane and Otis, "We have nowhere to go except further in!"

"That is not the way out," Shane responded loudly, taking his bat to one of the undead.

"It's the only way we got!"

She ran ahead of them, finding a door behind a gate, running inside of it and keeping the entrance clear for the men as they followed behind her. Evan found herself pressed against a wall as Shane tied the gate shut with a shoelace, the three of them feeling the weight of the walkers as they pushed up against the gate. "Evan, get in the school," Shane said quietly, his voice firm as he looked at the dilemma they were in. When she didn't move, her eyes wide at the massive amount of bodies before her, he turned to look at her, spitting angrily through his teeth, "Woman, open that goddamn door or I'll shoot you myself!"

They entered the gym just as the walkers started pouring from throughout the school to where they were, having heard all the commotion from their arrival. Evan clambered up the folded-up bleachers with Shane and Otis right on her ass, the man slinging up his bags beside her as he pulled himself up.

She breathed hard as she looked down at the assembling herd before her, her hands on her knees. "I'm sorry- I just froze. Realized that we weren't getting out of here without a fight…" Shane watched as she gripped her shoulder, his hands flying up to grip at his hair. "Jesus Christ! You came along with us, knowing that you were injured! You could get us all killed," he shouted, Evan looking at him angrily. "Hey! The scar I got on the back of my shoulder- got caught out on a night patrol ambush and got my lung popped from behind, Shane. I ran seventeen miles through the fucking desert like that; figure a sore shoulder wouldn't give me as much trouble! So stop worrying about me being a liability to you and figure out how the fuck we get out of this mess," Evan barked in reply, seeing him look around for a way out. He looked over her shoulder and nodded, running up the bleachers to where a window was. "We can go out this way: jump down and cut back around the back of the school to the truck. Ain't that far down."

"Ain't no way I'm going out that tiny window," Otis said as he rebuked the idea, the woman looking at him. "But y'all should go for it; I can draw the walkers away into the locker room. Windows are bigger and I can get out. I'll meet y'all around the back."

Evan nodded and took his bag, tossing the three duffels to Shane as he dropped them out of the window. Otis jumped down, the others pulling their guns to help make him a path to the locker room, the bigger man able to draw most of the walkers from the room. Evan shot down two more walkers before having Shane pull her up and lower her down to the ground, her free hand tight on her gun. He made to follow after her as she hit the pavement, the woman grimacing at the sharp pain over her eye, Evan looking up as he struggled with something behind him. "Put your head down Shane," she shouted, seeing the walker grabbing at his back. She hit him and Shane fell the two stories to the ground, the grown man landing hard on his ankle. Evan helped him off of the pavement, seeing how badly he stood on his injury, "Can you walk?"

"Yeah, just get the bags. Throw one over my neck."

She did as he said before looking back for Otis, gripping the other two bags and pulling them along the ground. The two of them started making slow progress towards the truck, Shane firing on the approaching walkers as Evan struggled with the weight of two bags. There was a gunshot behind her and she was splattered with blood, the woman turning to see Otis coming towards them with rifle in hand. He took one of the bags from Evan before looking at her gun, securely back in its holster, "How many rounds y'all have left?"

"I'm out," Evan said, looking to Shane.

"I got just one round left."

She looked behind them just as Shane collapsed, both her and Otis grabbing his arms. They pulled him along, Evan determined to get him to the parking lot, even as he protested. "Look here, just leave me. All I'm doing is making things more difficult for y'all- take the supplies and get back to the farm. Save Carl," he said, looking at Evan and Otis. She wasn't about to admit defeat however, refusing his requests as she pulled him once more to his feet, "You know what's stupid Shane? Jumping on grenades- you could be all noble and die for the cause but it could still kill your buddies. So you might as well run." He started hobbling at her words, sensing the walkers getting closer with every step before pushing Evan forward. "Listen to me and don't talk back! Just run to the truck and get it started: turn it around so we can jump in as you pull off. Don't look back- just run, you hear?"

"You better run your ass off, Shane."

Taking off at a run, she ducked and dodged outstretched arms that offered her death instead of comfort, reaching the truck. She cranked it and turned it, a gunshot going off in the distance. It was an unspoken rule that you only ever kept one round in the chamber if you had to go down- saving the last one to put yourself out of your misery. Evan's head whipped around to see Shane coming towards her, slowed down by the weight of two bags. He threw them in the bed before coming to join her in the cab, her eyes on him, "He went down."

"Walkers got him. I got the supplies though; just get us back to the farm Evan. Carl's getting worse every minute," Shane said almost coldly- she suspected he was in shock after seeing the other man being devoured.

And then Evan caught sight of the small bald spot in his head, looking like a chunk had been ripped out. Instantly she was nervous, knowing that if a walker had gotten that close to him in his current state, there would have been a slim chance of getting back. It was starting to look like the gunshot was more than what it seemed, but she kept her suspicions to herself, swallowing back the sudden burning in her throat.

The pickup tore over the farm land as Evan gunned it towards the house, her hand heavy on the horn, turning at the last minute as whoever was in the house came out to meet them. Shane jumped out and looked at the others, James running around the car to fling Evan's door open. He wrapped his arms around her tightly and she was unnerved by the sound of his voice, "We almost started the surgery Evan. We didn't think you'd make it back in time."

"We lost Otis. We got swarmed and he went down," Shane said in a quiet voice, Evan turning to look at Maggie and Hershel as they stood on the porch with Carl's parents. The old man nodded and sighed deeply, looking backwards towards the house, "No one need tell Patricia about her husband's death until after the surgery: I need her."

Maggie began to cry, Rick moving to hug his best friend tightly. He thanked both Shane and Evan for the equipment, James tending to the latter's eye as the others took the supplies inside. "What happened out there," he asked quietly, seeing her look up at him quietly.

"He probably saved both our lives."

"Who? Otis," James questioned quietly, using his shirt to dab at the cut before pulling out a small washcloth from his pocket and pressing it to her injury. "No, Shane. He did, he saved my life pushing me on ahead, but I do not trust him- not at all."

He looked at her for a moment before she sighed, looking towards the house, "You should go: your patient needs you." James kissed her cheek before taking the stairs two at a time and disappearing into the house.

Lori let out a heavy breath as she sat down on the stairs with her head in her hands, Evan pausing for a moment before moving to sit with her. "I can't believe this… how everything could go from good to bad so quickly," she murmured, the two mothers sitting together in silence.

"This is how the world works, Lori. Just because the dead started walking doesn't mean that the good stopped happening or that bad couldn't get worse. This is life," Evan replied with a sigh, holding the washcloth against her forehead. The other woman laughed humorlessly then, shaking her head, "And to think that I just tried to end his. I told Rick to just let him die, that this wasn't a world for children anymore. We live with a knife at our throat every day- but we make that choice for ourselves, right? Who are we to force them into this hell, knowing that we can barely protect them?"

"We're their fucking moms. There's still a world out there, beyond the blood and the violence and all the death: its just gonna take some time for you to find it, Lori. You have to have hope- for him- because when all is lost, all we have is each other. All they have is their moms," she replied as she pulled her hair out of its ponytail and stood. "He needs you right now, more than ever. And he needs you to have hope; I need you to have a little faith."

She nodded as the former soldier left her to her own thoughts, sniffling quietly, "If only faith could fix it all…"


	11. A Good Day's Work

Daryl came out of his tent, intent on looking for Evan- he had gotten back long after everyone had gone to sleep and he hadn't want to wake her, if she had even made it back.

He found her standing way out on the outskirts of the field, standing in the sun, motionless. Daryl smoothed down his cutoff button-down as he walked towards her, swallowing as his stomach started to bother him, though he didn't know why.

Evan stood with her eyes closed, long legs dressed in only a pair of worn cutoffs and her boots unlaced. She wore a plaid flannel with the sleeves rolled up past her elbows and the hem tucked into her shorts, her backside there in all its perfect glory. Her hair was free and blowing in the breeze, Evan standing with her back to him, hands hooked in her belt loops.

"Morning."

She turned at the sound of the now-familiar gruff voice, eyeing Daryl, "Good morning, hunter."

Before she could blink, Daryl had her face in his hands, Evan feeling the roughness of his palms as he cradled her face carefully. "What the hell did ya do to yer self," he asked quietly, looking at the stitches and wincing. "I got dropped out of a second story window by Shane," Evan replied with a wry smirk, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ears. Daryl narrowed his eyes and let his hands fall awkwardly to his sides, "He's a fucking idiot."

"And so was I," she said ruefully, meeting his eyes as he stared at her, confused. "Last night when you were trying to talk me out of going… I was a real bitch and you didn't deserve that; you were just worried about me."

"What makes ya think that?"

Evan chuckled once before knocking him to the ground in the high wheat and straddling his waist, leaning down close to his face- the others hadn't even noticed they weren't with them and she doubt anyone would be looking. "I think that because the rest of your people don't talk to me as sweet as you do- they don't give a fuck where I'm going, as long as it benefits them and the rest of the group. Admit it, hard ass, there's a part of you that cares," she whispered almost playfully, searching his eyes carefully. Daryl narrowed his own and drew his lips into a thin line, uncomfortable with how close they were, "Yeah, its called my dick."

He wasn't surprised that she kissed him, but he was shocked at the fact that he responded so strongly to it, his arms coming around her waist in an almost reflex reaction to hold her closer. Daryl knew that he did not want to do this with her- allow himself to get all close just for it not to go anywhere, because where else could it go? She was a stranger to him, just some woman who had given him and his group a safe place for a few weeks, and although he didn't know much about her, he did know she had a lot of baggage and demons. He didn't need that, especially when he had his own shit to deal with- add the fact that they were both stubborn as mules and hot-headed and there was exactly the kind of shit storm he didn't want be involved in. But Daryl couldn't lie to himself, not fully: Evan was a pretty girl and she was tough too, something he greatly liked about her. She didn't take shit like those other women, which was a good thing, as long Daryl wasn't the one trying to talk to her.

"You know, I think you taste better with me on your lips," Evan said coyly as she broke for air, Daryl looking up at her before moving out from underneath her body quickly. He pulled himself into a sitting position and let out a huff of air, staring up at the cloudless sky. "Ya know, I think its best we stay away from each other. Yer…"

"Too close."

She scoffed and nodded, running her fingers through her hair. "You know, things aren't just black and white, Daryl- you don't have to not like me or hate me and you don't have to… love me either. Because we both know that that's all bullshit right about now. People can care and have it not mean much at all: you can care and it's okay! It's the gray area, it's comfortable and it is o-fucking-kay. Because, let's be honest, I'm a brand spanking new widow and I don't need complicated. I don't need difficult. And I don't need, much less want, that 'too close' feeling. So I'll keep you at arms' length if it keeps you happy… because I care," Evan said, standing and turning her back on him. Daryl just sat there and watched her go, wondering if those words were what he had wanted to hear from her or not.

Things were becoming increasingly difficult for him where this woman was concerned- she had a way of getting right up in his face and seeing into his eyes, as well as being able to see through him. Evan talked like she knew all about him, and she was uncannily accurate about pegging him and his thoughts. It was unnerving for Daryl- and he did not like knowing that she was right about him.

Evan joined the others, quickly getting down to work helping Shane, T-Dog, Glenn and Lincoln collect rocks. She kept a watch on Shane out of the corner of her eye, seeing him dressed in a too-large pair of overalls with his head newly shaven.

"Nice look, Shane."

He didn't respond and Evan continued to pile rocks, growing increasingly wary.

A few hours later, Hershel stood before a marked but empty grave, the plot stacked with the rocks the four men and Evan had gathered for the funeral earlier. "Although we have no body, today we lay to rest the spirit of Otis DeMunn, a spirit that was even bigger than his heart…" The former soldier stood with her baby held tightly in her arms, standing stoically in memorium at the thought that she had spent some of his last minutes thinking that he was good-for-nothing. "Shane, Evan, would you both offer some short eulogy?" Quietly, Shane attempted to avoid making such a speech, but the woman Evan assumed to be his wife walked towards him, her hands on his arm. "Please," the woman begged, sniffling pitifully. "I need to know that his death had meaning."

"We got trapped in the school but Otis drew the walkers away so that Shane and I could go out of the window. He shot a walker that was coming up behind me as we tried to drag the supplies back on Shane's ankle- he did a lot of good and that was what he wanted. He wanted to make up for causing the accident, and he wanted to save Carl," Evan murmured quietly, everyone's eyes on her. Shane nodded and backed her up, speaking to the group, "Otis sacrificed his life to that end. When we were going to the truck after Evan had gone ahead, the walkers were coming- he just kept saying to me, 'Save the boy. We gotta save the boy'…"

After the funeral, the people split up, Evan letting go of her baby to help assist in coordinating the search for Sophia. The men assembled around the hood of her pickup truck, Maggie and Hershel joining them just as Evan began to map out the search grid. "She's been out there long enough to get thirsty, so she probably went to find water. Those are the first places we should search- here, here and here…" Daryl came to look over her left shoulder, the woman adjusting to his presence almost unconsciously, the hunter letting out a quiet sigh.

"We should go to the water sources that were closest to camp and work our way back out," Rick said carefully, green eyes looking up at the still-pale face. Before she had a chance to say anything about his health however, Hershel was talking, shaking his head and apologizing quietly, "I'm afraid I can't let you do that Rick- you gave three units of blood yesterday and you're not fit to be running around. You won't be any use to anyone and neither will you Shane: you need to rest that ankle."

"And you need stay here too Jaime, help look after Carl," Evan said as she tucked her hair behind her ears, looking at her friend. He nodded before looking at her bruised face, thinking to ask her to take a day and rest, but knowing that she wouldn't listen and he might as well save his breath.

Shane looked mildly irritated about not being able to go out, looking over at the rest of the group assembled by the RV and the tents, sighing. "I guess we could teach the others how to shoot then; it would be nice to have everyone able to defend themselves. More bodies that could help with the walkers," he suggested, seeing Evan and Rick nod. Hershel cleared his throat, the former soldier turning to look at him almost in disbelief- her mind was quick and she could see at once that he disliked weapons. "I know that you have your reasons and all, but I strongly disapprove of guns being carried around on my property. Someone could get hurt and I think we've had enough injuries," the old man said, the woman looking to Rick for any clue as to dealing with the farmer she knew little of. "I agree- we are guests of you and your family," the sheriff said, meeting Evan's eyes as her hand went to the gun on her waist. He saw her knuckles turn white before clearing his throat, looking at the rest of his group, "Go on now: put them on the hood."

"Grimes," she said harshly, putting more than a little malice in her words. "I don't give a fuck about what the rest of them do, but I'll leave this goddamn farm before I give up my gun. And I mean that."

He looked apologetically at Hershel before pulling her to the side, trying to talk some sense into her in a furious whisper. "Look, my boy needs this man and we need to be courteous for the time being. You can take your gun with you whenever you leave the farm but you'll do as I say and give it up when you're on his land, you understand? Get with the program Evan or you're going to end up back on the goddamn highway with two little girls, a kid and an old lady. Do you really want that responsibility when we've got a safe haven for right now," Rick asked heatedly, seeing her eyes narrow and her jaw set. She was a quick draw, he had to give her that- Evan pulled the gun off of her hip and ejected the bullet in the chamber, catching it mid-air to put it in her breast pocket. "Safe havens aren't always what they seem, Officer." She dropped the magazine from her pistol before putting it back in her waistband, waving it in front of Rick's face before moving back to put it hood.

Daryl watched her walk away, catching himself after a moment when Hershel spoke, "You should try and keep your people under control, Rick."

"Yeah, but she's not one who's gonna let herself be controlled. Not easily," the hunter muttered, seeing the sheriff give him a strange look before returning to his conversation with the old man.

Evan moved back into her tent and sat down on her sleeping bag, Carter looking up at her from a book.

"Someone pissed you off."

"Ain't that always the story," Evan asked, rummaging through one of her bags to pull out another magazine. She reloaded her weapon and scoffed openly- they would learn sooner or later that she wasn't one to follow stupid orders and that when she had a will, she would find a fucking way. She looked at the book in her daughter's hands, jerking her chin at her, "_Catcher in the Rye_? Isn't that just a bit morbid?"

Carter giggled, shrugging her shoulders as she looked back down at her book. "I don't know if anyone told you sis, but there are dead people walking these days. I think _Catcher it the Rye _is a lot less morbid than that," she replied smartly, Evan shaking her head- even if she didn't know it, that kid had her mother's wit and mouth, that was for sure.

"Hey, do me a favor and put your gun underneath your pillow- Kennedy's too. Make sure the safety is on and do not tell anyone, not even Rick if he comes asking, that you have it. Tell him I took care of it, alright?"

The young girl nodded and moved to do as she asked, Evan stepping out of the tent to come face to face with Daryl. "What happened to giving each other space," she questioned almost mockingly, seeing how his eyes narrowed when she brushed past him. "What happened to giving up yer weapon?" Evan looked at him over her shoulder as she tousled Kennedy's curls, scoffing, "I don't see your crossbow on the hood of that pickup so don't come over here chastising me. Aren't you supposed to be off killing something anyway?"

Daryl set his jaw when he realized that asking her to be his backup while he looked for Sophia was going to be next to impossible, nodding his head in feigned disbelief before turning his back on her. "Dumb bitch…"

"Fucking redneck!"

He stormed off then, Claire sighing as she looked up from tending to Jude, "Well aren't you just making friends left and right?" The younger woman sat down on a nearby log and cast an accusatory glance over her shoulder at Daryl's retreating figure as he disappeared into the woods, folding her arms over her chest. "I'm starting to think that being a good Samaritan got me in nothing but trouble…"

* * *

It was later in the afternoon that Lori came to talk to Evan, the younger woman looking up from her map to greet her. Lori sat down on a short stool beside her, sighing quietly, "I just wanted to say thank you. For taking us 'in' and giving us a place to stay and rest and regroup for a while- we really needed that. And for helping Carl, first by making sure he got here alive and then for going out to the school for supplies. You didn't have to do that, but I'm thankful you did."

Evan pursed her lips together and nodded curtly, looking out to where Carter and Kennedy were running through the field of golden wheat. "I know that I would want someone to do it for me, if it had been my girls. I was telling Daryl just the other night that people need people…"

Lori chuckled at the mention of Daryl's name, shaking her head and tucking her hair behind her ears. "You know, you were right about him. When I got to looking at it, none of us ever tried, none of us ever talked to him… You're the very first person he has talked to since Merle who he hasn't cussed out or threatened to wound. He, uh… I think he cares about what happens to you, genuinely. And from what I've seen, I wouldn't take something like that too lightly, Mrs. Harper," she said as she stood, Evan staring at her back.

There was a shout from across the field then, both women turning to look at Lincoln as he waved his arms to get their attention. "Wonder what the hell has happened now? They were just getting water from the goddamn well," Evan muttered, starting the walk to go meet them.

Dale looked at Evan as she reached him and T-Dog, seeing Lori, Glenn, Maggie, Andrea and Shane coming behind her. "What's the issue old man? Can't carry it back yourself," Shane called out, the former soldier moving to where T-Dog stood at the pump. She heard the sound of a growl intermingled with the sound of the water sloshing in the well then, moving to the edge and leaning over to look in. "Son of a fucking bitch. Are you kidding me?"

A bloated walker was stretching towards her helplessly from the bottom of the well, the others moving to investigate. "Jesus," Maggie said, shocked by the things appearance. Lincoln only scoffed and shook his head as Evan stepped back, "Damn thing's grown gills." Dale nodded and agreed, adjusting his hat before sighing.

"Looks like we've got ourselves a swimmer…"

They began to discuss the options in dealing with the walker, Evan pulling her gun, "I say we pop the little blister right now, quick and clean." Maggie looked at her, unsure of what to say about her blatant disregard for her father's rule. "Daddy really doesn't think that's necessary…" The slightly older woman looked at her and spoke bluntly, gesturing to her gun. "I have at least thirty more of these and I don't take kindly to being told what to do, ma'am. Sooner or later, all this talk of taking guns is gonna have me a little heated and I'm known to act… irrationally."

"We'll coax it out," Glen suggested, the others looking at him. "But it has to be live bait or it won't work."

"Evan, you're small," T-Dog noted, seeing the severe look she gave him and forgetting that she had a gun in her hand. She scoffed and stared down into the well, shaking her head, "Does it look like I'm going down into that well? I'd rather shoot it and call the water a loss. Fuck that."

Glenn swallowed and looked at Dale, hoping the old man would talk him out of it, "I'll go."

Maggie went for a rope as the others decided on how they would get the walker out, Shane suggesting brute strength. Evan whistled at the twins, shouting for Kennedy to bring her gloves. The little girl came running and looked over into the well, her breath catching. She grabbed onto Evan's wrist tightly, unable to look away, "What are you gonna do?"

"Pull it up and kill it. Step back baby."

They started to move, Evan wrapping the rope around his waist and thighs in a makeshift harness, the young man watching her work. "You certified to do this," he asked, receiving only a mischievous grin from her.

Shane held the rope with T-Dog behind him and Lincoln at the end, Evan helping Glenn up and looking at him. "You ready, kid? All you gotta do is loop this second rope around him and we'll do the rest. Don't die," she said with a smirk, seeing his nervous grin as she moved to help lower him down into the well. They used the water pump for leverage, Evan giving the men directions as he was guided downwards. "You alright Glenn?" He looked up at her and nodded as he swallowed, both of them turning to look as the walker snarled and growled as it reached towards him.

She heard a groan of metal before turning her head just as the water pump went flying, seeing the rope go slack before it started to pull the three men towards the well. "Hey, jump on the line," Evan screamed as Glenn began to shout below. She braced both feet up on the lip of the well as she grabbed ahold of the rope, Shane slamming into the back of her. "Get me out! Pull me out," Glenn screamed, the others scrambling to start hoisting him out. Evan teetered on the edge before looking back at Shane, grimacing, "This is gonna hurt." She threw her entire body back into his and they fell back onto the ground, Glenn's hands coming up to wrap around the top of the well. Dale and Lincoln moved to pull him out, Glenn collapsing on the ground beside Evan.

"I hate you," he said, trying to catch his breath. "But I got it."

"Good job, little soldier…"

They moved to grab ahold of the rope again after a moment to regroup, this time to hoist the walker up, Evan standing behind Shane. "We keep bumping into each other, miss. We might should stop that before the townspeople start talking," he said between grunts, hearing her chuckle humorlessly over his left shoulder. "I don't mind anyone talking about me: I got my shit." The walker appeared from the depths of the well and they got it halfway over the lip, something seeming to stop it from completely getting over. "Kennedy," Evan called, unable to look at the young girl. "I need you to move around to the side- well away from him- and see what's keeping us from getting him over the edge."

She did as she was told, everyone waiting on her word, Kennedy shielding her eyes from the sun. "It looks like he's stuck on the we, Evan. Because he's so fat," she shouted, the woman sighing and looking at the back of Shane's head. "We pull it anymore and he's liable to split- should've left his ass in the well because now somebody's got to swing his legs up. You wanna do it or should I?"

"You're the one with your shit, remember?"

Evan glared at him before letting go of the rope, moving to straddle the well edge just out of the walker's reach. She looked at Shane and prepared herself to move, inhaling through flared nostrils, "If you don't pull him up on my say, we would have wasted our time and effort for nothing." The group waited almost with bated breath as Evan inched forward, the swipes of the walker coming too close to her for comfort. And then she shouted, dragging the huge thing's legs up as the others pulled on the rope, the walker seeming to fly through the air before landing with a disgusting plop on the ground.

It let out a growl before Evan put it down, Maggie looking at her smoking barrel with wide eyes.

"Well that was a good day's work."

"You're cocky as fuck, Harper," Shane said as he looked down at the walker, breathing heavily. Evan only smiled and placed her hands on her hips, nodding with a glance to her work for the day, "Thank you."


	12. Open Ended Questions

"Hey, where you get that?"

Evan looked up from the dying fire to where Rick was coming to join her, holding up the beer in her hand. "Picked it up that night I lured Daryl back to the group when I stopped for Carl's supplies. Hell, only thing that he came back for," she smirked, taking a swig of her drink. "Worth its weight in gold…"

"Yeah, I'm sure that beer was why he came back," Rick chuckled once humorlessly, taking the bottle thankfully when she held it out to him.

"Say, what brings you around these parts again, Sheriff?"

He was quiet for a moment before sighing, shaking his head and staring into the flickering flames the same as she did. "Well, I had a talk with Hershel today, Evan and it wasn't good. He said that once we find Sophia and once Carl is well enough to travel, that he expects us to move on," he murmured despondently, the woman finding her jaw setting in a hard fashion. She nodded though and sniffed to herself, folding her arms and resting her elbows on her knees. "Rick, you never said what exactly we do if we find Sophia… and she's bit. What's your move?" He looked at her evenly and swallowed, letting out a heavy breath, "Our move is that we'll do what needs to be done."

"Well, I'm not killing any kid, no matter the circumstances. I don't quite have the heart for that," Evan whispered, having to blink several times to keep unshed tears from falling. Rick looked at her and sighed, finishing off the beer and placing the bottle between them on the ground. "Anyway, I asked Hershel to reconsider: asked him to think about Carl and Sophia and Kennedy and Carter and Jude. He was reluctant but he said that he would consider it- if our group respected his rules." She rolled her eyes and shook her head, knowing what he was getting at with that very pointed comment and knowing that she had to nip the conversation in the bud. "Look, we spent a lot of time on the road after the outbreak, my girls and me, James and Lincoln and Claire. And our guns were the only things that kept us alive out there, Rick- I'm not going to let my girls be without protection just because some old man is gun-shy. We're not just some idiots running around with pistols and shit: I trained them myself until I was good and sure that they could take care of themselves, as well as watch my back. Like I said, if we have to leave, I'm prepared to do that-"

"You can't do that Evan," Rick said quietly, looking at her evenly. "Because I need you here. You're the only one I trust other than Shane to make good damn decisions because you know how to do this and you care. You can't leave because I need you."

She looked at him with her lips pressed into a tense line, pausing before she spoke and trying to keep her face from setting in the hard mask she was fond of wearing. "You don't even know me," Evan murmured as she adverted her eyes, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear in what was becoming a habit.

"I trust my gut."

They were quiet for a moment before Rick turned on her again, sighing. "How's Carol?" The young woman just shook her head and pressed her fingers to her mouth, trying not to imagine just how close she had come to being in Carol's shoes. "All day, Rick- she stood out there all way in the heat and the smog waiting for Sophia to appear. She left a sign on a car windshield along the highway and left food on the hood, but when Lincoln and Glenn brought her back, she looked really fucked up. Carol's losing hope," she replied almost tearfully, swiping at her eyes just in case any had made their escape. "I told Carl that we had found her when he woke up between the surgeries. I had to lie to him yesterday and tell him the truth today… We can't not find her, Evan."

"I know Rick. Believe me, I know."

They both turned as Daryl came up on the campsite over the fields- Evan smirking at how well that man could disappear and reappear when it came to the darkness of the woods- the hunter coming to the fire. "I saved you a plate Daryl," she said simply, standing to retrieve it from her tent and bringing it to him. By the time she returned Rick had started on his way back to the house, the long, sinewy man looking muscular and even a bit dangerous in the last feeble flames of the fire.

He took the plate wordlessly, expecting her to walk away from him but watching her sit down and look at the two flowers he had placed in the empty beer bottle. "For Carol," Daryl said with a little less harshness in his voice than he had intended, Evan nodding almost knowingly. She sighed and pulled out a beaten-up pack of cigarettes from the too-large hoodie she wore, lighting one in the fire. "You find anything out there today?" He swallowed the mouth of seasoned green beans he had been chewing on, nodding, "Came across a house in the woods. Found a can of sardines that had been eaten recently and a little bed inside- big enough only for a kid. I called her name when I was out there, but she never came: I felt like I was close though."

Daryl jerked his chin towards her hoodie and picked up another forkful of food, looking at her almost ruefully. "Isn't yer boy James gonna be cold without that jacket tonight?" She looked down at herself before scoffing- she had heard the jealousy in his voice without knowing what it had been at the time, Evan shaking her head.

"This was my husband's. But he's dead, you know- no need to worry about anyone else touching me."

He instantly felt bad about even mentioning it, looking back down at the flowers. "Ya know, I brought one of those back for ya too: it's a Cherokee Rose. When they started taking the Cherokee Indians along the Trail of Tears, when the white man drove them off their lands, they said that the tears of the mothers who lost their children to sickness and hunger along the way caused these roses to bloom as a symbol of hope… I'm not fool enough to believe that there's any flowers blooming for my brother, but I believe that one did bloom for Carol's little girl and that one bloomed for ya too, losing both of yers," Daryl muttered in what was his best approximation of an apology, Evan reaching out to pluck one of the floors out of the bottle. "I didn't lose my girls, technically," she replied, looking at him with her chin held in her hand. "Ya didn't see yer self that night out in the woods when ya told me about them and the truth of it all. Didn't seem like anyone who had gained much."

"You know, you could give a girl whiplash with how you are emotionally, Dixon. One minute you're an asshole and the next you're almost… sweet. I hate that about you," Evan said quietly, seeing him stare at what was now embers as dusk turned into night.

"And I hate that I cared enough to bring you that flower. I wish I didn't."

Evan almost smiled to herself as she blew out a thin stream of smoke, knowing that he couldn't bring himself to say that he wished he didn't care about her- it wasn't what she wanted to hear with wearing him down enough to admit that he was just as human as she was.

But it was a start.

* * *

Evan held Jude between her knees as the little girl dance and attempt to wriggle away, laughing as her mother refused to give up her hold on her.

"You are not getting anywhere little Jude- I'm afraid momma is going to fix your hair today and you're going to like it. You've been looking like a little wild man as of late honey," she said chastising, pulling a comb through each of her daughter's curls. When she was done taming it for the most part, she braided the toddler's hair, Jude pleasant once she started to sing to her.

Lori came to join the other mother, looking upon Evan and her daughter fondly, "You know. I always wanted a girl, to do stuff like braiding hair and painting nails."

"Yeah, me too- I wish I could have gotten my girls to let me paint their nails before all of this. Little tomboys they were."

There was a grunt of exertion and Evan looked up from where she had been trying to avoid staring at Daryl for the better part of the morning, the hunter taking to task a pile of wood for the fire. He was shirtless and with a determined look on his face, doing what he could to do his part in the camp before he had to go out to search for Sophia again.

"I, uh, I heard you talking with Daryl last night. I was on my way out of my tent to use the bathroom but it looked like you both needed your time… I didn't mean to overhear," Lori murmured remorsefully, feeling Evan's eyes light on her face for a moment. The younger woman only sighed and pulled Jude into her lap, bouncing the little girl upon her knee. "Just please don't let it get around camp. It's not anything I'm ready to tell or ready to have the girls find out…" Lori nodded and agreed, rubbing her palms against the thighs of her jeans, "You know, I've also never heard Daryl sound so- sound, well, jealous."

"You could say that we're a little sweet on each other," Evan admitted as she attempted to keep from blushing, slipping her sling over her shoulder and helping Jude into it. The little girl nestled into her mother's chest and settled down, taking her thumb between her lips and closing her eyes. "But it's nothing, really. I just lost my husband, the first man I really ever loved and I'm not ready for something like Daryl Dixon to come into my life… Yeah, that's too much for any woman."

The older woman stood and looked at Evan, smirking, "But you're not just any woman, now are you?"

Evan stood as Lori walked away, sighing before moving to where Daryl was, one arm supporting the child against her chest. He looked up from his work, covered in sweat with his muscles all bulging and rippling, Evan hearing him breathe heavily. He frowned at her, clearly not enjoying being interrupted, even if it was her. "Yes?" Daryl's tone was hard but somehow she knew that it wasn't about her, the woman licking her bottom lip before throwing a glance over her shoulder. "I… want to come out with you today. I want to make a supply run and I could use someone I… trust to accompany me. We go search for Sophia and then on the way back we could stop," Evan questioned quietly, Daryl looking uncomfortable. He met her curious eyes, however and nodded, resting his folded hands on the handle of the ax. "I guess that wouldn't be a bad thing. Ya just need to be ready when I leave- ya mind riding on a motorcycle?"

"Not at all. I've got some things to do, but I'm ready when you are. Thanks Daryl."

He watched her retreat and sighed, turning to see Dale staring at him. Daryl grimaced, knowing that he had seen- and probably heard- their entire exchange, and the long, forlorn look he had given her afterwards couldn't have been missed, not by the sometimes too-perceptive old man.

Daryl went back to work as Evan disappeared into Claire's tent, looking at the older German woman as she went about her task of stitching up their clothes. She coughed hard and Evan's eyes looked her over carefully, the young woman folding herself down to sit with her. "How are you feeling Claire? Cold still bothering you," she questioned, Claire smiling and nodding.

"Yeah, but these old bones of mine will be just fine… That child of yours is growing well; she needs new clothes."

Evan pulled her daughter up in an attempt to adjust her weight, nodding, "I know: I'm going out with Daryl in a bit to get the little monster some new clothes. God, Danny would be shocked to see how big his girl has gotten…"

"You're starting to be able to talk about him more easily," Claire noted, looking up at the young woman and smiling sadly. "I remember the first time I asked you about him. You cried for days."

"Yeah, well there's gonna be no more crying for me."

The older woman smirked and jerked her chin to the open flap of the tent, Claire letting her knowing eyes rest on Daryl, "He got something to do about that?" Evan felt her cheeks get warm even as she shook her head, running her hand back through her curls and sighing. "Y'all sure have been getting ideas that I'm trying to jump this guy's bones."

"Bullshit. I'm no spring chicken Evan- I saw you both when you came back from the old campsite."

Evan blanched as Claire laughed softly, the older woman placing down the pair of pants she was working on and holding her hands out to her. "Come on, I won't chide you anymore about it. But you best be getting on- leave the baby here to sleep. She knows how to keep good company," she said, Evan loosening the sling from around her neck and holding Jude in her hands. The mother kissed the soft curls of her baby's hair, sighing before laying her down on Claire's sleeping bag. "I'll be back before too long. Thanks again Claire."

"No problem."

Daryl was pulling his shirt on when she emerged from her friend's tent, sans baby and looking right at him. He did the buttons up as he gave her a small nod, feeling his stomach twist into a knot when he saw her eyes flicker away from his face to his chest, Evan seeming to appraise him for a moment. It looked like she hesitated, ready to say something before thinking better of it, turning her back on him and going into her tent.

She let out the breath she hadn't even known she had been holding once she was alone, closing her eyes and biting down on her bottom lip as a flash of that night they had shared painted itself on the inside of her eyelids. "Son of a bitch." Daryl Dixon had been like a small luxury she could only allow herself once, lest she grow too used to it and too comfortable with him. She knew people got hurt like that, that she would get hurt if she let herself be like that with him.

"Evan," he called, the woman opening her eyes and reaching out to grab her gun. Evan pulled her hair up into a high bun before tugging her tee shirt over her head in exchange for a loose tank top, standing up and feeing the muscles in her legs stretch.

The two of them met up by the fire pit, Daryl sliding his supply of arrows into the thigh holster he seldom used- he would have preferred the quill on his back, but since Evan was riding with him, he would have to accommodate her. She jogged over to her pickup truck and pulled the machete she was so fond of, strapping her own holster on as he watched. "We'll go along the river for a few miles. Haven't seen any more tracks from the little girl, but we're bound to hit some," Daryl said, seeing her nod and follow him to his motorcycle.

Rick stood talking with Shane as he watched Daryl straddle the motorcycle, the woman sliding on behind him and wrapping her arms around his waist tightly.

Daryl wasn't used to having anyone touch him like that, but he couldn't say that it wasn't a welcome feeling, her thighs pressing along the outside of his. He started the bike and drove away from the farm, unable to think about anything other than the woman with him.

When they came to a section of the river, Daryl slowed down, looking back over his shoulder at Evan. "Ya can let go of me now. We're not too far from the train cars, so we can start here," he grunted quietly, feeling her arms move from around him. She stood and brushed off her pants, looking at him frankly. "How can you keep coming out here and not feel… exposed?" Daryl scoffed and took his crossbow from where she had carried it for him on her back underneath her backpack, doing it about his shoulders as he started to walk along the riverbank, "Yeah, that feeling never goes away. Especially when ya know that yer not the only one out here and that there's a chance that yer prey, not predator."

She watched as Daryl began to try and find something to track, the hunter moving with a practiced, almost natural ease that she hadn't quite gotten a hang of in the woods- she was much more a concrete jungle kind of creature.

"So Evan, tell me something: what were ya gonna say today when you looked at me and turned away?"

Evan stared at his back, seeing his shoulders flex subtly underneath the gently tanned skin and feeling her nostrils flare slightly. "You sure you wanna know that," she asked, her voice on the verge of being hard. He looked back over his shoulder and slowed down, his eyes narrowed slightly, "I don't follow."

"I didn't expect you would," Evan replied, her tone flat even as she laughed- it was sharp and without any humor, her hand coming up to rub her knuckles against her jaw. "I was honestly just looking at you. And remembering… how you felt. That night."

"Oh."

Her admission honestly startled him, Evan seeing his back straighten as he cleared his throat. Daryl hadn't expected her to think about that night as much as he did- every moment they were together or she was in his field of vision, he couldn't help but think about how she had felt and smelled and tasted…

Evan chuckled again then, shaking her head, "But regardless-"

"Should it feel like this," Daryl asked, hearing the words come from himself, but not feeling his mouth work.

"Should what feel like this?"

Daryl reached up to scratch the back of his neck, feeling the confusion on his own face as he struggled to speak. "Giving a fuck… caring. Ain't never cared before, not about things that shouldn't matter. Like ya," he muttered, his hand curling into a fist as it dropped to his side. He could feel her eyes on him but he refused to look back, hearing her utter that short, sharp laugh of hers again. "You saying I shouldn't matter to you?" Daryl paused and whirled around to face her then, his jaw set, "I ain't supposed to give a fuck about anyone else but myself! Because that's how things get fucked up and maybe ya haven't looked around in a while, but things are alright pretty shitty-"

"Hey, I know that things are hard for you but Daryl, they're hard for us all. You ask if it's supposed to feel like this, caring about other people and the answer is hell fucking yeah. We were made to feel!"

He could see the bright splotches of red starting to come into her cheeks, stepping back for a moment as she chewed on her bottom lip before continuing, "Because that's what brings us all down to a common ground Daryl- our reactions, our feelings- those emotions are what brings us all together. And its fucking confusing yeah, but at least I can be honest about myself when I say I feel it- that I know something is there. And I can be honest to say that I don't like it too; but I'm willing to go with it, because obviously I feel this way for a reason. And I have to believe that everything, that all of this, that you and me, is for a reason."

"Ya and me, huh," Daryl questioned, unable to think of anything else to say.

She scoffed in his face before brushing past him, continuing on along the river. They searched over the next hour without saying anything else to each other, turning back to begin the walk back to the motorcycle, Daryl more than a little unnerved by the silence. He decided to bring up the subject again, slowing down to fall in step with her even though he noted how her eyes narrowed when he did so.

"Why me," he asked quietly, his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the ground in front of them. "I mean, why in the hell would ya look at me and not treat me like everyone else does?"

Evan looked at him, even though her face betrayed nothing, her eyes resting on how his brow was furrowed. He literally had been treated like shit by the others- or so he perceived- not being able to relate to them and not trying to. "Because I'm not like everyone else: I would have thought you had seen that by now. And despite everything you've said about yourself, everything that they've said about you… I saw you. In the night and through your anger and this hurt I feel coming off or you, there were moments we had of compassion and kindness and understanding. You're a good man too, and I'd be a fool not to see that," she murmured, her voice just loud enough for him to hear her clearly. She sighed and smiled quietly, "There's not a lot of good men left in this goddamn world, if you find that hard to believe Daryl. A lot of them seem good on the surface, but there's a lot of flaws to them and a lot of secrets. And that's not to say that you're a choir boy or anything, but at least you're honest about it. I respect that and I respect you for not compromising who you are… I would fight for that, Daryl. I would fight for you."

"Yer still fighting."

It wasn't a question from Daryl, just a simple statement that he knew she was still working at a better tomorrow, even in the darkness of the current days.

She just smiled and nodded, reaching up to brush a wayward strand of hair from out of her eyes.

"There's still a lot to fight for: kids playing, women cooking, men chopping wood. All those moments when I look out and I see you and I remember kissing you, holding you. Yeah, that's worth fighting for, if only for another moment," Evan said, seeing him finally look up. He found himself unable to break away from her gaze, seeing her eyes studying him as he tried to find out a way to counter that very personal statement pointed directly at him.

And then she looked away, moving just a little bit ahead of him as the motorcycle came into view. He followed after her onto the little flat area where they had parked, placing his hand on the gas tank of the bike as he looked at her. "So what now, Evan?" She reached out for the crossbow he gave her, placing herself on the motorcycle and sighing, "We head back towards the farm, stop off at the little shopping center where the clothing store was."

Daryl slid onto the bike in front of her and waited until she readjusted, sniffing as she did so.

"Ya know that's not what I meant when I asked."

"Yeah, I know."


	13. I Feel You

Evan looked around the small strip of stores before climbing off of the motorcycle and moving towards the consignment shop, peering in the darkened windows. She looked back at Daryl and nodded, stepping back to let him by, "Looks empty- I just need to get the baby some clothes and we can get back to the farm."

He pulled out the small lock picking kit from his pocket and made quick work of the door, slipping inside and pulling her in after him. "What do I need to look for," Daryl asked, seeing her start to rifle through the racks of clothing. She looked up at him, seeming shocked that he would offer her help, but remembering how to smile and holding out a tag for him to see.

"2T."

The store was cluttered and chaotic, Evan searching through the piles of clothes on table as she attempted to find the right size of clothes. "I ain't finding much here," he muttered after a few minutes- it was taking a lot longer than he thought it would, the hunter looking up to see her frustrated face. He went back to looking, however: he knew that Evan would be nicer once she had gotten what she came here looking for and that he couldn't leave a kid running around naked.

There was a clattering of a can hitting the floor from somewhere in the back of the store, Daryl and Evan looking at each other before he pulled his hunting knife. He waved her towards him with his free hand, wrapping his arm around her wrist and moving to place her behind him, "Come here. Right here- stay right here beside me." They moved forward to a little hallway, Daryl coming face to face with a lunging walker and moving around Evan to take it to the ground.

"Shit!"

She saw the other walker appear just as it started to fall on his back, moving to kick it aside as he shouted. Evan pulled one of the arrows off of Daryl's thigh and impaled the thing through the back of the skull, grunting with the exertion. "Hey! Watch yer back-" He was up and moving past her before she even had time to turn, seeing Daryl grabbing another of the corpses by the throat. He pushed it up against the nearest wall and dispatched it quickly, hearing her breathing hard behind him.

"Can we get out of here," Evan asked, trying to keep the shakiness out of her voice. He nodded and jerked his head back towards the front of the store, retrieving his arrow, "Yeah, let's get that shit we came for, though."

After about half an hour or so, the pile of clothes they had found after going through almost everything in the store was to Evan's satisfaction, the woman turning to let Daryl stuff them in her backpack. She turned to face the window and began to tap her foot as she waited, allowing her eyes to scan the small town before her. And then she froze mid-tap, her breath catching before she backed up into Daryl.

"Goddamn it. Back of the store- now," Evan murmured, her hands coming behind her to touch his thighs lightly.

He looked up just as he went to question her about why, seeing the group of walkers coming towards the strip and knowing that the front was the only way out. Without another word, Daryl wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her to the back of the store, pulling his hunting knife in case anything surprised him. Daryl kicked open what he suspected had been the break room, spinning Evan behind him and moving to lock the door. He looked around the room and tried to keep his breath almost nonexistent, jerking his head at her. "Hey, ya push that table over here- we'll barricade until they leave." She did as he said and listened as one of the clothing racks was knocked over, exhaling quietly, "Well, there went our quick fucking in and out. Town looked empty…"

They both moved away from the door and Daryl looked around the room before sighing, going to the cabinets to start looking for food. "If we're gonna be here for a while, might as well get comfortable." Evan sat on the food with her arms full of chips as he pulled out a case of soda and a few bottles of water, Daryl propping himself up against the wall. She pushed her backpack into the corner and sighed, looking at the door.

"They smell us. They're not leaving anytime soon…"

The shuffling about the store was unsettling and Evan could feel her stomach churning ominously, opening one of the bottles of water to try and help calm herself.

"So now that I have ya somewhere ya can't get away from, I'll ask again: what now," Daryl questioned quietly after a few tense moments, Evan looking up at him. There was a little bit of light filtering in through a window about the dingy sink, falling on his face and letting her see how serious he was. His face was mostly calm, but his eyes had an almost wild, edgy look to them- something had changed.

There was a scuffling outside and she flinched as one of the walkers slammed into the wall the door was on, looking at Daryl as her heart hammered in her chest. "I need you to let me sit with you- I feel like a caged animal in here and I really need to just… be beside you." When he sighed, she moved to fit herself between his legs, her back against his chest. Evan started to explain herself before he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, her words leaving her as he just held her. She had never heard her breathing sound so loud and she sought to quiet her breaths, trying to pace them to his. Her head fell back to his shoulder, eyes closed as they waited for the walkers to leave, Daryl quiet. "To answer your question, I don't know what comes after this Daryl. I thought about it up to the point of putting you in your place and making you admit that you care; now I'm just taking it one step at a time-" Evan found herself kissing him, the hunter having pulled her face around to him, his arm tight around her. She broke for a breath before letting her eyes search his, twisting her body so that she was straddling his waist and holding his face in her hands. "I've been wanting to do this every day since we left the old camp," Daryl said hungrily, reaching up to pull her hair down and threading his fingers through it.

There was definitely danger in carrying on like they were with walkers just outside the door, but they were safe for now and with nothing else to do but wait, they might as well…

"What now," Evan whispered against his lips, knowing that the mocking would set him off.

Her legs came up around his waist as he put her on her back, Daryl pinning her wrists to the concrete and kissing her in a way that could bruise. She pulled him to her and couldn't help but smile, wondering if the next few months would be much better with Daryl than the last few had been without him.

This second encounter was much like the first, Evan allowing herself to be pleased as they passed the time. It wasn't long however before she noticed the absence of growls and banging around, the woman looking towards the door. "Daryl." He looked up at her and breathed hard, curious and confused as to why she- of all people- would stop him, "What?" She pointed to the door and tried to catch her breath, leaning on her elbows then.

"It's quiet out there: I think they're gone."

Daryl gave her a blank stare before pressing a kiss to her thigh, allowing his lips to linger there as he smiled. "Are ya saying ya would ya like me to stop then, Evan," he questioned almost seductively, her eyes growing wide like she was shocked he had even offered to. "No- God, no. Carry on," Evan replied, seeing him smile as he moved to oblige her.

"It'd be my pleasure."

* * *

It was just getting dark when Daryl and Evan arrived back on the farm, the others coming away from the fire to greet them. She deftly slipped her hands from where they had been underneath his shirt, pressed against his stomach almost possessively.

They had agreed to what Evan saw as a mutually beneficial relationship- the two of them would be friends and when the need called, they would be willing to help the other out.

"Thanks for the… ride, Dixon," she whispered in his ear before getting off of the motorcycle, Daryl unable to ignore the way he stirred when her teeth had grazed his earlobe. "Damn woman…"

She moved towards the group and took Jude from Claire, the outstretch toddler's arms coming around her mother's neck. "Hey baby girl. Mommy missed you," Evan said happily, moving to kiss the twins' foreheads as they came to hug her as well. She handed James her machete before sitting down to eat, leaving a space for Daryl to sit. He joined the group and sat down beside Evan, reaching up to rub the sore spot on his neck he was sure was going to bruise self-consciously. Claire and Lori moved to make them plates as Carol looked at them hopefully, Daryl meeting her eyes honestly before he spoke. "I'm sorry Carol." She smiled sadly and stood, nodding, "Thank you anyway Daryl. Excuse me."

The two began to eat, Claire taking the backpack from Evan to look at the clothes for Jude. The first thing she pulled out was something leather and wadded up in a ball, the old woman looking at Evan. "Oh yeah- hand that to Daryl. You're welcome, hunter," she said, trying to eat with the demanding child in her lap. He looked at her before shaking the leather out, seeing that it was a vest- with wings.

"When the hell did ya pick this up?"

"On the way out the door when you decided to stop and take a piss."

He smirked and draped it over his leg, nodding. "Thanks," Daryl grunted around his food, running his free hand through his hair as everyone looked at him.

Not content with her mother attentions, Jude twisted in her lap and yelled at Daryl, holding her arms up for him to take her. Evan tried to quiet her before Daryl moved to sit his plate down, chuckling as he took Jude out of her mother's lap. "What? Ya think I'm no good with kids? I'm like a teddy bear," he said, allowing her to stand up in his lap and touch his face. For everyone that had known Daryl before Evan, it was the first time he had been genuinely involved with anyone other than himself before all of them, entertaining the little girl to her heart's content.

When everyone started to clean up for the night, Rick moved to pull Evan to the side, the two leaders starting to walk around the farm. Daryl watched her retreat before standing up and seeing James eye him carefully, the hunter narrowing his eyes, "What?"

"Nothing, man."

Evan lit a cigarette as she and Rick began to talk, the sheriff looking at her and sighing. "What took you so long," he questioned, the former soldier smirking to herself before answering him.

"We went along damn near the entire length of the river and then we got caught up in a consignment shop by a small herd of walkers. Took us an hour to wait them out."

"Any other incidents I should know about?"

She paused and turned to face Rick, tapping the ash off of her cigarette. "Is there going to be a problem here with me and the hunter? Because he and I are adults- we know exactly what we're doing and its not about to interfere with anything going on with the camp," Evan said bluntly, Rick looking at her evenly for a moment before shaking his head. "No. But I do just want to warn you that if it goes bad, its gonna go real bad- and that's not something our group needs right now. We do not need to start tearing apart at the seams, much less from the inside out." Evan just looked at him, her eyes hard before finishing off her cigarette, the woman flicking it to the side.

"Heard you loud and clear, Sheriff. Can I get to bed now?"

When he didn't respond she returned to the campsite, kicking up dirt as she went. "Now girl ya just go on and leave that dirt alone. It ain't done nothing to ya," Daryl drawled at her, the hunter leaning up against a tree while he waited for her. "Well aren't you just in a better mood," Evan said humorlessly, her eyes doing what they could to see him in the early night.

"Ya could say that. Come on- let's go up to the ridge."

After a good half hour walk through the woods on the back of Hershel's property they came to a small cliff overlooking the backwoods of Georgia, Evan smirking as she sat down. "You really are good about finding places to be by yourself," she noted, setting her gun down by her side. He only chuckled humorlessly and pulled out a cigarette, lighting it quietly, "Yer here, ain't ya?"

"So the cop was on my case about not causing friction in the camp- mainly because he thinks our extra-curriculars will start us 'tearing apart at the seams' as a group."

Daryl just scoffed and shrugged, leaning back as he braced himself on his palms. "Fuck the police."

They shared a chuckle before he looked at her, seeing her knee drawn up to her chest and her face turned towards the view. "So… how does this all work again? We just start slipping away from camp every once in a while? Go on acting like we're all innocent and shit," Daryl asked, reaching up to scratch his temple. "Yeah, pretty much." Both of them laughed at Evan's nonchalant attitude before she shrugged, continuing with her answer, "But really though. I doubt anyone is going to say anything or give us shit about it? We're adults and people need a little… more comfort these days. Its necessary."

"Agreed."

He put out his cigarette and leaned in to kiss her, noting that she was still caught off-guard by his actions towards her, but much less so than she had been previously. Daryl caught her hand as it went for his belt, whispering against her lips softly, "Not right now. I just want to kiss ya…" Evan let her hand curl around the back of his neck then, pulling him closer as their lips took the time to explore and learn the other's.

It was a little unnerving at first, being so intimate with him with trying not to develop feelings about it- in all truth, she didn't let people in easily, especially not men. It was a completely new sort of thing- even despite her past of debauchery- to put herself out there physically and have to keep what was growing there emotionally at bay. Or else things would get very messy and she did not need that, not now and especially not with him.

But what she didn't know is that she wasn't the only one able to feel… something, Daryl trying not to think about how quickly he could get used to just kissing her. He could kiss her for days and be content to do nothing else, with full knowledge that everyone else knew- he just cared about what the rest of the group thought that little. And he knew that from now on, he wasn't gonna try and act like he wasn't doing anything with her. There was no point in that, because the fact of the matter was that, for lack of a better term, she was the closest thing he had to having his own woman and that for sure wasn't going to change anytime soon.


	14. Domestic Life

The hunter stood away from the slowly rousing group as the sky started to lighten, one foot propped up on a half-rotted tree stump as he watched the kettle on the fire start to whistle. He moved to pour the morning coffee, setting both mugs in his grasp on the ground and turning his eyes to his task.

Time on the farm was moving unhurriedly for the road-weary group and it was almost serene, a welcome change from living out in what was almost like the wilderness: dark, unknown and deadly.

But Daryl didn't let himself be lulled in to comfort by the two weeks' worth of peace: she had told him in confidence about Hershel's plans to put them out once Carl was healed and Sophia found. Still, it was kinda nice, not having to try and fall asleep with worrying about his neck.

Evan climbed out of her tent, shaking out her wild curls and stretching leisurely, before turning her eyes on him. The day always started out like this for them, Daryl waiting with coffee and Evan moving to his side with a thinly-veiled fire in her eyes. Even with Lori and Rick around, the two of them were undoubtedly the most domestic 'couple' out of the entire group- something they and everybody else knew as fact. Evan had taken to making sure he was always fed and adequately clothed, doing for him what no woman ever had. And he was happy to entertain the girls for her when she needed a break, spending quite a bit of time doing what he could to otherwise occupy her time.

She was a hell of a woman, but she wasn't superhuman and he was seeing that, even if she was trying to hide it.

"Morning sunshine," he said gruffly, seeing the dark circles underneath her eyes. Evan only smirked, the corner of her mouth curving upwards for the fraction of a bit as she took her coffee, crossing her arm over her chest and bringing it to her lips. "Nightmares still keeping ya up?"

"Don't shrink me."

Daryl looked at her and shook his head, reaching out to touch her elbow. She had been accepting to that, the small touches and kisses they snuck around the camp, and it was a welcome change for them both. She moved towards him as he spoke, the hunter looking at her, "I'm not shrinking ya. Ya just hate that I'm right- I know ya too damn well by now."

"Unfortunately for me, that is too true," Evan replied with a scowl, sipping her coffee before smirking. She looked over her shoulder at the tent he shared with T-Dog, jerking her head towards it and raising an eyebrow. "So since we know each other all too well- and I know how to work you pretty damn good- I was thinking that today you could fulfill your promise to me, the one you made lying in my arms, all naked and sweet and such, and teach me how to shoot that damn crossbow of yours…"

He narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips, reaching up to scratch his head. "Well, maybe today isn't a good day to do that. Wind's high and all," Daryl murmured, trying to find an excuse not to let her handle his treasured bow. She looked at him and set her cup down, moving to press her chest against his, tossing her hair back over her shoulder with a smile. "Come on, you can trust me baby. What, afraid I'll put you to shame?" Daryl scoffed and backed away from her, moving towards his tent, "Yeah right, woman. Get a hair tie before ya end up pulling a chunk out fucking around with my bow."

The woman moved to do as he asked, returning with Jude in tow as the toddler finally awoke. The baby walked beside Evan, babbling animatedly as she reached out to steady herself with her mother's leg. "Hey, scram you little monster." Jude took off then from her side with gleeful laughter to run into Lincoln's arms, the young boy hoisting her up in his shoulders as he took to spinning her around.

Evan made sure that she was okay before making her way to where a tree stood away from the group, her hunter there waiting with a pile of homemade arrows. "So I thought we'd use these shitty ones to start ya out with. The points are kinda dull on these and the feathers are split- I don't want ya to fuck up the ones I use to hunt," Daryl said, seeing her eyes narrow enough to make him smirk. She didn't say or do anything other than hold her hand out for the crossbow, moving to adjust herself when she held its weight in her arms. "God Dixon, this shit feels so primitive once you've had an AK-57 in your hands," Evan commented, earning herself a flick to the tip of her ear as Daryl moved to dodge the hand that came flying towards his face. "The entire point to a crossbow is the fact its not a fucking gun. They're loud, messy and for hunting purposes, inefficient. Ya can save more bullets for when ya need them by using this." He pressed his hand to the small of her back, fixing her posture, his fingers wrapping around the tops of her shoulders to pull them backwards, "Straighten up, woman- ain't no need to crouch like that to compensate for the recoil…"

She tried not to think about how his hands felt against her skin as he touched her, looking over her shoulder at him when he held up an arrow. "Ya need to pull back the string to be able to nock an arrow properly. It might take a few tries-" Daryl was silent as Evan did so in one attempt, the woman's eyes flickering towards his as she regarded the bow for a moment.

"What's the resistance on this? Fifty, sixty pounds," she questioned lightly, Daryl giving her the arrow and scoffing.

"Yeah, well that's a lucky guess. Its fifty-seven pounds, if we're going to be right about it."

Evan looked at him with a smile, enjoying how rueful he was about her natural ability with the weapon. He stepped back and jerked his head towards the tree, unable to keep himself from looking at her boldly. "That tree's a walker: take that motherfucker out." She raised the bow and paused with her finger on the trigger, exhaling as she let the arrow fly.

It went more than a foot wide and she dropped the bow, her eyes fixed on the tree, "We should be thankful that this is just an exercise, eh?"

"Ya don't have to worry about me letting ya have my crossbow in case of a walker attack, woman."

She shot a glare at him before reaching down and grabbing another arrow, loading it as he settled back to watch her progress. She wasn't that good of a shot without a gun in her hand- if he had to admit it, Daryl would have said she was almost hopeless- but she had all of the basics down. Her stance was correct, her grip just tight enough, her mind… focused; he didn't know what it was.

"What's the problem, Ev?"

Daryl walked over to her and saw the tightness around her eyes, Evan staring at the dirt in front of her boots. "I don't… do missing. I don't miss targets and I don't do failure. I don't fail at things," she muttered, feeling him moving around her. "What do ya think about when yer out there making runs, dodging walkers? What did ya think about when ya were overseas, fighting," Daryl asked in response, watching the hairs on the back of her neck rise and stand on end as he allowed his breath to ghost over her skin.

She cleared her throat before dropping the bow to her side, thankful that her back was to him. A moment of silence passed between them, Evan sniffling once almost silently and reaching up to ran her free hand back through her hair.

"There, I thought about the girls a lot. About my mom and dad… and my brother," she said roughly, looking out at the day and sighing. "But here, I think about Danny a lot- because I promised to him that I would take care of Jude, protect her…and I always think of the girls too. I know that here, its life or death, not just for me but for all of us. And as of late, I've found myself thinking about you too. They said people are your anchor, how you find the… will to get your shit together."

"Raise that bow."

Evan was prepared for the shot, but upon feeling Daryl press his chest against her back, she stilled, her breath quickening. His hands moved from her hips to her shoulders and down her arms until his hands rested over hers. "Then, think about the people that ya love Evan. Think about just how much ya have to lose-" Suddenly, a vision flashed before her eyes of walkers surrounding the two of them, Evan raising the bow higher and letting the arrow fly. It found its mark in the tree branch before being followed quickly by two more, her chest heaving once she had stepped back, her arm feeling heavy. "That was good," Daryl said moving to retrieve the arrows she had spent through the morning. When he came back she was still standing in the same place, her hand balled in a fist against her thigh, her lips held tightly. He looked at her curiously, his eyes squinting against the sun, "What's the matter with ya?"

"Don't," she seemed to breathe before finding her voice, looking up at Daryl. "Don't… die on me alright. I need you not to die Daryl- can you do that?"

"I'll try my best, sweetheart."

His mouth was uncomfortable dry as she walked towards him, holding out the crossbow and exhaling quietly. "And in return, I won't die either. Let's be honest: you need me around to keep you sane, hunter," Evan said in a lighter tone, forcing a smile and turning back to where the rest of the camp was. "Come on, I'll wash your clothes and fix that hole in your pants."

"I'm not taking off my pants for ya, Harper," Daryl replied with a smirk, walking at her side.

She only smiled and looked up at him, growing more and more at ease after her vision, "It wouldn't be the first time."

* * *

Evan set about washing her girls' clothes in the large tub setup by their tent once they had gotten back, keeping up with everyone else's work to set a pace. Fenris was laying at her feet, always keeping watch protectively for his owner.

Things were quiet today on the farm and she was thinking back to how easy life seemed before the apocalypse, but knew that then she hadn't nearly cherished the important things enough. Sure, her BMW and the house and all the material things she had loved had been great, but none of it could compare to holding Jude in her arms, to seeing the twins laughing and smiling, to just having one more chance to breathe…

"Hey, mind if I talk to you," James asked once he had walked over from where Rick had been talking to him, the former soldier propping his boot up on the lip of the tub. Evan consented quietly and he ran his hand back over his head, sighing. "Uh, I know what you're not a stupid girl, Ev. And I know that you're an adult and you have needs, but you're-"

"Are you kidding me, James? Are you seriously doing this? Trying to 'persuade' me from screwing around with Dixon," she asked in almost quiet disbelief, looking up from the soapy water to search his eyes. "Danny was my friend and he asked me to look after you." Evan scoffed and shook her head, looking back down at the clothes, "You are out of fucking place right now James. You are crossing a line and you best back away from me before this really becomes an issue."

He moved to stand on two feet, searching his friend's face for any hint of a fraying resolve on the matter- he knew that someone like Dixon couldn't be trusted, even if he was somewhat pleasant to be around. He was a loner and he looked at Evan in a way that unsettled James, knowing that he had to stop whatever was happening between them in their tracks. "Are you willing to put the group in danger, your daughter and sisters in danger just for a little bit of dick every once in a while? That's not you Harper, and I'm not about to let you do something stupid," James replied sincerely, his companion moving once more to look up at him. This time, she had a smirk on her face, however and her eyes were narrowed menacingly.

"You don't give me permission to do shit. And until I see that I've got a problem on my hands, I'll do as I please with Daryl Dixon. Back off."

James looked at her ruefully before turning his back on her, mumbling as he went, "Carl wanted to see you."

When Evan was done with her work, she cleaned herself up enough to go into the house, nodding respectfully to Hershel and Maggie as they sat with the rest of their family in the dining room. They seemed very detached from the campers, as if they wouldn't allow themselves to get close enough to like them or feel compassion towards the people.

Carl was sitting up in bed when Evan knocked, the young boy smiling widely at her as she entered the room. Lori was with her son, her chin in her hand as she looked at him.

"Hey Carl, how's the belly," Evan asked, moving to sit at the foot of the bed.

He lightly touched the gaze running the length of his abdomen, shrugging, "Hurts a little bit, but I'm alright. Dr. Greene said that I could be up and moving in a few more days."

Evan smiled and ran her fingers through her curls, nodding once in appreciation. "Well, that's good news. I know my girls would be glad to have you back- they need more playmates. Keeps this whole zombie business out of sight, out of mind, if only for a little while," she murmured, looking forward to the wall and resting her hands on her knees.

"Thank you for helping me."

She let out a sigh and nodded, turning to look at Carl once more, "I'm here to help keep people alive- it's what I do, Carl. I don't need any thanks for that." Lori spoke for the first time then, Evan moving to cast a glance backwards over her shoulder as she did so. "Yeah, you do. And my entire family thanks you for helping to save Carl's life…"

Evan sat for a moment before standing and excusing herself, going outside for some air.

She wasn't alone for long however, the farmer's daughter coming to sit beside her. They were quiet for some time before Evan spoke, looking at her bustling group and shaking her head. "Your family has never truly interacted with ours, aside from Hershel and yourself. It's because he doesn't want you all to have a guilty consciousness for turning people you know out on the streets- it's better to do that if we're all strangers." Maggie was silent, shifting uncomfortably where she sat: her response to the accusation proved Evan's theory true. "But we're not strangers, we can't afford to be in a world like this. My name is Evan Wynn Harper, and I'm the mother of Jude Hawthorne Harper, widow to Daniel Caine Harper. We lived at Fort Bennington for three years, after the bombing in Iraq that almost rendered me KIA. He was the medic that saved my life…"

Hershel came out to the women late into the afternoon, having searched for Maggie around the rest of the house without luck. She had dried tear marks on her face, Evan looking towards her father almost sadly, "Hello Hershel. I was just headed off to grab myself a late lunch."

"Yes. Well, I just wanted to discuss with you what your friend Claire came to me about yesterday. She's worried about the health of your group and asked if I would offer some medical… checkups. As the guardian for your sisters, I have to come to you and ask if that would be alright. I think it best y'all be prepared for when you get back on the road." Evan looked to where the girls were playing and nodded, gesturing towards the camp, "They're yours."

The evening of checkups moved quickly before it was the twins' turn, Evan standing in the doorway with Jude on her hip. Hershel watched over Patricia as she worked as a pseudo-assistant, turning to Evan for answers on their medical history. "I need as much of a history as you can give me on the girls' parents," he said, Evan feeling herself stiffen at the thought of having to broach the topic.

She ran her fingers back through her hair, clearing her throat once nervously, "Is that necessary? My parents are… well, were very private people-"

"Let's step outside and talk," Hershel replied as he moved to close the door behind him.

He looked at her and sighed, the woman biting down on her bottom lip. "You are their mother, aren't you?" Evan paused before nodding, her throat tight as she looked to the door.

"They do not know," she replied quietly, her eyes holding the weight of her words. "But health wise, I had… a normal pregnancy. They were both healthy babies, all their shots and vaccinations- had chicken pox, all of it. I'm not sure about their father's history or his identity, though that wouldn't matter now. Carter and Kennedy were perfect- are perfect."

Patricia stepped out to join them in the hallway, looking at Evan, "Carter has a really bad tooth that's giving her some pain. I don't want to scare you, but it could get to her blood and make her very sick. We should go ahead and take it out. We can do it in the morning."

"Whatever you have to do; thank you Patricia."


	15. Be True To Yourself

A dull aching pain stirred Evan from her sleep late in the morning, the woman rolling over to get the weight off of her shoulder and wincing. "Son of a bitch," she muttered, feeling what she had started calling phantom pains from the still-healing injury.

Daryl was watching the tents from the steps of Dale's RV, having gotten up earlier to try and assure Carol that he was going to continue to go out and look for her daughter, no matter how much time had passed. With that taken care of for the moment, he thought he should take a moment to tend to his own needs, the most pressing of which rested with Evan.

She climbed out of her sleeping bag with a scowl on her face, casting a glance at Daryl before trotting off to use the bathroom. It wasn't like her not to say anything and so he knew that something was up, biding his time until she returned.

The woman came back and sat down without a word, looking around to see if anyone was paying her unwanted attention before rubbing her sore shoulder. He crossed the campsite slowly, taking in how the others watched his progress, the hunter moving to stand beside Evan. She looked up at him, narrowing her eyes a bit as her face fought to give nothing away, "Do you need something, Dixon?"

"Yeah, ya looked like ya could use a bit of… a hand," he said almost helpfully, brushing her fingers away and resting his hands at the place where her shoulders and neck met. Daryl then leaned down in her ear, smirking to himself, "Ya got a hickey from when we ran off last night."

Evan fought back a glare and settled in for the knowing looks and glances from the rest of their group, swallowing once uncomfortably. After he moved from her neck to her sore shoulder, she turned to face him, her hair falling in a curtain that kept the others from reading her lips when she spoke wordlessly, "This is not okay. And you are going to pay for this tonight."

"Looking forward to it."

He let go over her and she stood, still facing him. "You want them to know, don't you," she asked almost silently, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ear. Daryl looked at her as her hands moved to rest on shapely hips, unable to keep himself from going just a bit stiff. "Yeah, as a matter of fact I do. Ain't no fool: Shane's eyed ya a good few times and I've seen the other guys glance at yer ass a bit. Let's not even talk about yer old man's best buddy," he replied just as quietly, seeing more than a few set of eyes on their exchange. Evan's eyes nearly turned into slits when he said that, the former soldier restraining herself from putting him in a headlock, "Despite what I told you about my past, I've fucking changed and I'm not out here screwing every guy that comes along, Daryl. Its just you and I'm starting to just rethink my stance on that."

"Don't threaten me," Daryl growled at her, moving to brush past her.

"Then keep to what we agreed on and keep that macho bullshit to a minimum," she hissed at his back, the hunter throwing a smirk over his shoulder for her to fume over while he moved to chop some more wood.

As she watched him walk away, she saw Claire and Carter striding from the house, the young girl far out front with a glare to rival Evan's on planted firmly on her features.

Evan sighed and rubbed her brow, shaking her head, "Aw hell."

"You told them they could do surgery on me?"

"Carter," the older woman said sharply in response to the angry words flung at her, the others moving to watch the exchange. "You are not going to talk to me like that again, ever. If you have something you need to talk to me about, you need to discuss it with me in a manner that is appropriate to the situation. The pulling of a tooth is no need for shouting."

The young girl was still fuming, her hands clutched into fists at her side, "This is not your body, its mine. And it was not your choice, it was mine- I'm old enough to make my own decisions!"

"Are you kidding me? You're not even thirteen yet and you think that you're old enough to make your own decisions? I thought that too and look where it got me," Evan shouted without thinking about it, Daryl looking up as she danced dangerously close to revealing her secret. She had asked for secrecy from him about the twins, and here she was, threating to expose herself to them all. "You have always been like this, Evan! Always forcing us to do what you want just because you got in trouble a lot when you were our age! Kennedy notices it too, how mean and mad you get when we do something you don't like- like when we got bad grades, or skipped school, or when Kennedy kissed that boy last summer! You have spent so much time teaching us and training us and make sure that we can take care of ourselves and you don't trust us to do anything for ourselves!"

"I promised my mother that I would look out for you, take care of you-"

That seemed to set Carter off for some reason, as if the thought of the woman who raised her broke something inside of her, tears staring to stream down her face. She was screaming at the very top of her lungs, the rest of the group firmly engrossed in the argument, "You are not mom! Ever since she died, you have tried to replace her and you can't! You are not my mom Evan!" The blood rose in Evan's face as she took a step back, reeling from the hate-laced words. She knew that they had been holding in all of this anger since they had gotten on the road- anger over the outbreak and the death of their mom and all of the stress involved in their lives- but she never thought that it would come to a head like this.

Evan's eyes burned spitefully as she tried to keep the tears from spilling, looking at Carter, hurt and saddened. "I may not be mom- your mom- but I am your… mother and you cannot deny that," she replied thickly, hearing someone gasp from the left of her. "What?" Kennedy looked on, bottom lip trembling as she watched Evan and Carter face off, the air between them tense. Her chest was heaving as huge green eyes searched the face so like her own, seeing how Carter took a step back- all the proof she needed was standing right before her. And then the young girl's eyes widened, Carter presumably doing the math.

Everyone watched silently as Carter then ran at Evan, hitting her about the chest angrily- the former soldier just stood and took it, knowing that she had punished herself far beyond what her daughter could ever be capable of, "No! I hate you Evan! I fucking hate you!"

Daryl threw down the ax he had been holding, moving towards her as James and Lori did the same. "How about ya watch yer mouth and respect yer mother! You're lucky to still have one," Daryl shouted, but his words were not needed. Carter was sobbing uncontrollably by then, Evan falling her knees as she wrapped her arms around her young daughter.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, hearing the agonized cries coming from within her. "I am so sorry."

Carter wrenched away and took off towards James, Kennedy doing the same. Daryl stood to help her off of the ground, the distraught woman allowing herself to fall against his chest and sobbing. "I have to- I have to get out of here, Daryl. Take me away from here," Evan said quietly, the hunter looking towards his bike before swallowing. "Naw, ya don't need to run away from this or yer gonna fuck it up even more than it already is. Fix this-"

"Either you take me or I'll go it alone."

She looked at Daryl for a moment before shaking her head, looking at where James was consoling the girls and stepping back. "Alright, then." Evan started to turn away before feeling his hand wrap around her arm, turning to glare at him, "You best let me go." He only tightened his hold, his eyes locked on hers as he pulled her closer. "And ya best listen to reason. Ya ain't thinking right," Daryl growled, seeing the frantic look in her eyes- it was like she was prey, having been back into a corner and staring death in the fact.

Evan caught him off guard with a powerful slap, the hunter stumbling back as he released her. "How's that for thinking right," she spat through her teeth, moving to disappear into the tree line.

His jaw ached dully as he looked after her, knowing what he had to do without really thinking about it. Daryl moved to grab his crossbow and his knife, looking back at James, "She trusts ya- hold it down here." The former soldier nodded and held both of the girls close to him, seeing how determined the hunter was.

"Go and bring her back safe."

Tracking her wasn't difficult and he caught up to her easily, the woman moving swiftly through the woods. "Evan," he shouted angrily, not getting a response from her. She just kept moving, basically leading him on a pointless trek just so she could try and run away from something that was just in her head.

Daryl wanted to smack her as hard as she had smacked him but refrained, the infuriating woman continuing to storm off. As mad as he was with her right now, he hated to say that he was more concerned for her safety, knowing that she didn't have her wits about her right now. "Hey," Daryl snapped, seeing her retreating figure continue without showing any signs of stopping. "Evan, goddamn it! Don't ya fucking walk away from me!"

"Or what? What the fuck are you gonna do?"

Evan had whirled around to face him now, her fingers tensing to pull the large hunting knife on her hip. He glared at her, blue eyes colder now than usual, "Ya better quit fucking baiting me or yer gonna make me do something real stupid. Ya can't keep storming off every time ya get mad! Ya don't know what the fuck is out here!"

"I've had about enough of you telling me what I can and cannot do," Evan shouted bitingly, the heat rising in her cheeks the madder she got. "I'm not just some dumb bitch you can order around, you redneck hick! You've got your head so far up your ass, you can't look past what color or sex I am to realize what you got standing in front of you, Dixon! Despite being damn good at giving head, I can shoot, I can fight and I can hunt- I saved my entire group's ass and yours as well, several times! So who are you to talk to me in the way that you do?"

"The only one who gave a damn to come after ya, ya crazy bitch!"

His voice was gruff and she could hear the anger in his words, but they were buried real deep underneath something she knew well: worry.

Daryl Dixon actually cared enough to risk his own safety and well-being to come after the one person who had done her best to piss him off and even worse, actually hurt him. "Ya think- ya think that after all this, that I fucking care what color yer skin is? That I'm just some dumbass white boy trying to keep ya down, sista? All because yer half black, really? That's bullshit and ya know it! I ain't ever even thought about yer skin, much less said anything 'bout it- ya brought this up talking out of yer ass just so ya don't have to talk about what's really going on! Ya think 'cause I tell ya not to do something and boss ya, or try and keep ya from going on a run that I'm just some chauvinist pig? Hell naw Evan," he barked, stepping closer towards her. "I look at ya and I see Kennedy. I see Carter. And I see Jude- yer their momma and ya can't keep acting without thinking about them! What the fuck are they gonna do without ya, huh? What the fuck am I-" Evan eyed him as his words died on his lips, the grungy hunter taking that same step back to put some space between them and smirking coldly. "But I guess that don't matter much, do it? The kids, the group- nah, none of that shit matters to ya Evan, as long as ya get to do what ya want, right? Think about somebody else other than yer fucking self for once!"

"I can't! I think about somebody- care about somebody- and I lose them! And goddamn it, I ain't about to lose anybody else!"

Evan flung her words at him, tears brimming in her eyes as she paced in a circle, trying not to cry. He watched her for a moment before moving to wrap his hands around the tops of her arm, Evan stilling at his touch. "Don't… do that," Daryl muttered, swallowing as his fingers moved to swipe at her eyes. Since he finally had her compliant and still- for a moment, at least- Daryl moved to stroke her cheek, his eyes flickering up to meet her gaze, "Ya know, I'm sorry about what I said at the house; I'd say I didn't mean none of it, but unfortunately… I did."

"And I'm sorry about slapping you," Evan murmured in reply, moving to graze her fingers over his gently swelling cheek. "But I'd do it again."

Daryl raised up when her fingers fell away, unsure of what to say. He turned to start heading backwards to the farm before having a shoulder smashed into his side, spinning around to face Evan once more.

"What the hell are ya doin' girl-"

"For once Daryl, just shut the fuck up and let me do this."

She smashed her lips into his, her hand fisting in his shirt to keep him there as she took control of the situation. Evan dragged her nails down his neck and heard him growl into her mouth, feeling calloused fingers pressing into the small of her back.

Not one to be manhandled, Daryl picked her up bodily off of her feet and moved to take her to the ground, making sure to be careful with her. There was no more expressed consent or agreement needed between them, not when they both knew exactly how the night was going to end- neither of them were going to end this moment, not yet; they could at least have this one night.

Their first night to give in to it all…

Daryl pulled his bow off of his back and placed it just above her head, taking her knife from its holster and stabbing it into the earth near her left hand, just in case she needed it. "Don't stab me, alright woman?" She smirked and started pulling his knives as well, discarding them just out of their current reach, "Wouldn't dream of it…" He attacked her mouth again, one hand digging into the grass as the other tangled in her curls. The feeling of his body against hers was driving her mad, Evan gripping at his backside and wrapping her legs around him. However, Daryl only yanked her from around him promptly, settling back on his knees to work her belt off. When he found it resistant, he snatched up the closest knife to him without really thinking about it and cut through the leather, seeing her eyes- clouded with lust- turning on him angrily. "I'll give you mine," Daryl grunted in consolation, curling his fingers around the waistband of her jeans and proceeding to yank them off. The stiff fabric scraped at the sensitive skin of her thighs and she hissed through her teeth, seeing Daryl move to kiss the abrasions. Evan let out a groan and moved to pull off her tank top, showing him that for once she had decided to forgo undergarments- she watched as he smiled and stripped as well, naked in all of his rugged glory before her.

He drank her in with his eyes, taking in every raised line of dark ink and 'blemish' on her flesh, licking his lips hungrily. Daryl's gaze fell on her hand as she beckoned him forward with a finger, her voice soft and husky, "Come here Daryl." He did as she said, but kept a hand between them, kissing her roughly. Evan arched up against his body as she felt his fingers against her, teasing her, making sure that she was ready for him. And then he splayed her legs, fitting himself into the cradle of her lips and in the same movement, pushing inside of her with a grunt. She cried out and he moved to let his lips hover over hers, panting quietly.

"Shhh, shh, shh. Don't do that Ev; chances are we ain't alone out here," Daryl growled out against her mouth before raising up from her body, his eyes smoldering as he looked at her.

She felt like heaven, her warmth wrapping around him in an intensely inviting manner- he never wanted to be apart from her after this. Evan bit down on her bottom lip the next time he thrust into her, her fingers pressing into his back and for the first time, she could feel the scars she had only seen flashes of…

He rammed into her almost violently, only wanting to be closer, only wanting to be deeper. She kept making a little choking sound in the back of her throat, her arms wrapping around him and pulling him against her, burying her face in his neck. Daryl only tightened the hold he had on her hair, breathing into her ear, feeling her hips roll against his. She looked up at the changing sky above their sweaty bodies, fighting to keep her eyes open as she realized that there had never been anyone like Daryl Dixon before in her life… and that there would never be anyone after. Evan wrapped her hand around his hardened bicep, moving to dig her teeth into his flesh as he took her earlobe in between his teeth.

"Jesus."

Their skin slapped roughly together and she bucked her hips towards his before flipping him over onto his back with relative ease, Daryl looking up at her in confusion. And then he laughed, the first genuine, free laugh she had ever heard from him, Evan grinning at the fact that she could do that for him. He grabbed her hips and hitched her higher up on his waist before pulling her back down, seeing her rise up almost immediately. Evan braced her hands on his chest and slammed her hips repeatedly into his, watching as his eyes darkened and grew heavy, the male allowing her to do as she pleased. She came undone on top of him, her body tightening up around him, Daryl smirking triumphantly. They paused for a moment- rather, he let her catch her breath and gave her one last moment of control- before he put her once more on her back. Evan heard his breathing quicken and closed her eyes, clinging to his body as he took her. Already, she felt rubbed raw by his body, from her thighs to her neck where his scruff kept bumping against her, but took it all in stride. "Say my name," he demanded gruffly, panting as he stared down at where their bodies met and became one. Evan opened her eyes to look at him, still attempting to catch her breath, "Daryl." He pounded into her a few more times before she called his name again, looking up to see her worrying with her lip again and doing his best to bring her around again. "Daryl, oh God! Yes baby, yes!" He drove into her hard enough to make her claw the ground for leverage, feeling her tighten around him again as he spilled his seed within her. Daryl realized belatedly that he probably shouldn't have done that, but somehow couldn't bring himself to care- he didn't give a shit about anything right about then.

He fell forward onto her chest, his head resting on her breasts as he felt the rising and falling rhythm of her breathing. Daryl let feather-light kisses linger on her collarbone before running his tongue over her, trying to taste every inch of her skin. "Ow." Evan was uncomfortable with Daryl's full weight on her, feeling a pleasant ache starting to settle within her bones. He grunted and moved to lay on his back, exhaling through a chuckle as they laid side by side.

Of course Evan hadn't forgotten about what was waiting for her back at camp and the sex in retrospect, hadn't made her feel any better. It had only taken her mind off of everything for a moment, but what had changed, was the fact that Daryl had done it. Had done what she had been completely afraid of, what she had never wanted to do… make her start to feel something for him- and no, it wasn't about the sex either.

He had come right after her with little thought to his own safety, risking life and limb to make sure that she was safe.

And Evan knew she was, knew that she was safe with him.

"Thank you."

He chuckled again softly, moving to fold his hands underneath his head as he closed his eyes, "Ya thanking me for putting the moves to ya, girl?" Evan sighed and shook her head, rubbing her neck lightly. "No, and you know that's not what I'm thanking you for Daryl," she replied quietly, the hunter falling silent from the tone in her voice. After a moment, he threw out an arm out to her, jerking his chin towards it wordlessly. Evan moved to rest her head on his bicep, aligning her body to his and sighing.

"I don't want to go back."

"We don't have to," Daryl said in response, letting his hand stroke her throat and chest lazily. He knew she wasn't ready to go back and face her demons, and he as well, wasn't ready to go back to the way things were. He knew enough about Evan to know that she didn't take stuff like this lightly and that it would take some getting used to- which was alright with him, if it became a regular thing. "But if we stay any longer, we'll just have to be prepared to sleep it out. Ain't no point in stumbling around in the darkness tonight; best we just stay here… And ya should keep close for a while- it might be cold tonight."

Thinking about how much time they had to spare, Evan rolled so that she was able to kiss his chest, smirking to herself, "This is kinda romantic, me and you underneath the trees, all naked and such…" He cracked smile, knowing that she was only teasing, finally starting to feel his body returning to normal after being with her. "Don't ya start," Daryl warned before sighing, swallowing quietly.

Normally, Daryl fancied himself a real cut and dry person, but when it came to Evan, he found that he couldn't think… right. If anyone else had had pulled the shit she did earlier, he wouldn't have given it a second thought and he sure as hell wouldn't have left the safety of the camp to go after them. But like he had begrudgingly admitted, he cared about her and he only wanted her safe and alive; yet, it wasn't about her kids- not completely.

The two of them had grown close in the time they had been together, Evan providing him some sort of feminine respite he had definitely been in need of- as well, he had given her something to take her mind off of all the other shit they had to deal with. In all honesty, he'd also become close to the girls as well and there was a part of Daryl, a tiny, still human part all the way in the back of his mind, that wanted that life. But he could never tell her that; he'd just keep it cool and casual, because after all, who would want a man like him anyway?

As if she was reading his mind, Evan propped herself up on an elbow and stroked his stubble, her eyes searching his. "I hope you don't think that I'm done with you yet, Dixon.

"I want you."

* * *

Everyone was already up when the pair decided to walk back into camp, all eyes on them. They were both a little worse for wear, Evan's hair full of dirt and leaves, Daryl's cheek impressively swollen and his lips looking rather plump as well. She was wearing his shirt over her own and his belt was around her hips, the hunter wearing only the vest she had given him, the garment left open over his chest.

"No fucking way," Lincoln murmured, helping Claire skin potatoes.

"Good for her."

Evan looked at Lori, the two women seeming to have formed an unlikely bond, "Where are they?"

"They were so upset last night that Hershel let them stay in the house. James said they didn't sleep, only cried… You have to explain to them why, Evan," the older woman said, tucking her hair behind her ears. Evan only nodded and took a steadying breath, starting towards her tent. "I know."

Daryl followed her, catching her just before she moved inside. There was a sad look on her face that he didn't like, the hunter opening his mouth to say something. She just eased her arm out of his grasp and shook her head, crawling into the tent and zipping it closed.

Acutely aware that the others hadn't missed that exchange, he straightened up and wrapped his hand around his bow. "I'm going out." No one protested or said anything and he walked away, feeling heavy underneath their gaze.

Evan emerged a short time later, changed and with her hair up in a bun- she had done the best she could, but it still needed a good wash, though for the time being, that could wait. She smoothed down her tee shirt self-consciously as she moved towards the farmhouse, knocking once before she entered. Beth was sitting in the living room, a book in her lap, the young girl turning to face Evan.

"They're in the kitchen with Maggie and daddy. You can go on in, Evan."

James looked up as he heard her distinct footsteps in the hallway, one of his arms around Kennedy as he held Carter's hand. He saw how troubled she was and gestured to a chair opposite him, Maggie pouring another cup of tea for Evan. She and Hershel left after that, the old man moving to grip her shoulder as he passed. She sat down and cleared her throat, staring at the wood tabletop before her, taking in the grain. They were quiet for a long time before Kennedy finally looked at Evan, still upset over the revelation of their birth and lineage, the girls unsure of what they could trust, "You lied to us… to both of us our entire lives."

"I know and I'm sorry- I'm so sorry. I never planned to tell you like this," she finally whispered as she broke her silence, James hearing the hurt in her voice. "Or maybe I never planned to tell you at all. You were both so… happy, before all of this and I didn't want to be the one to ruin that. Not after all that time."

"Tell us everything, please," Carter whispered, tears in her eyes. "I want to hear it."

Evan recounted the entire tale of her darkest days to the daughters that had never been hers to truly have, the three of them repeatedly bursting into tears, Evan's hand coming up to cover her eyes. "I just know that the only thing that I ever wanted to do was be able to love you, in whatever capacity I could," Evan sobbed, James reaching out to grab her hand – his grip was tight and comforting, the woman holding on to it like a lifeline. "Because I loved you when that stick turned blue, when I heard your heart beats for the first time, when I saw your faces… I loved you for nine months and couldn't bear not loving you both, even when I knew that I had to give you up.

"Because I loved you that much and still do."


	16. Is Your Heart In It?

It was two days later that James flung open Daryl's tent, the soldier's brow heavily furrowed and his hands snatching at the hunter's blanket.

"Hey!"

"Get the fuck up," James snapped, moving to rest his hands on his knees. "I need you to get up and go talk to her- obviously whatever the fuck happened when you went after her didn't help the situation any."

Daryl narrowed his eyes at the soldier as he sat up in his sleeping bag, reaching up to scratch his stubble, "What makes ya think that she wants to hear shit I have to say? She ain't talking to me neither, and I'm not her fucking old man- that makes it yer problem, not mine." The two men glared at each other before James backed out of the tent, scoffing condescendingly.

"Fucking hick…"

The hunter leaned back against one of the support poles and closed his eyes, sighing. James had unfortunately woken him right in the middle of the first good dream he had had since the apocalypse had hit, Daryl and Evan making a habit of wilderness lovemaking.

Daryl rubbed his eyes before reaching over to his pack and snatching up a cutoff tee, moving to go about his usual morning routine. Everyone was quiet, trying to speak softly enough that Evan wouldn't hear them. Rick looked at Lori and Dale, the old man voicing his concerns, "We've done a good job of assimilating here, Rick, and she has done a great job by helping to lead this group- Evan saved our lives. We owe it to her to try and help-"

"Dale, I have tried to talk to her. James has tried, Claire and Lori too: she doesn't want to hear anything we have to say. Its best we just leave her alone, let her work through her problems," Rick replied quietly, looking towards where Evan's tent rested away from the others. Daryl followed his gaze before sighing and wiping his jeans on the seat of his pants, crossing the camp with a purpose.

He unzipped Evan's tent and slipped inside, Fenris standing to growl, "Out, mongrel." Once they were alone, Daryl sat down and looked at Evan, her back to him as she tried to nestle down further in her blankets. "Ya need to get up."

She sighed inwardly and squeezed her eyes shut more tightly, not wanting to hear what he was saying. True, Daryl knew more about the situation than the others, but compounded with the fact that she was having a little bit of buyer's regret from what had happened between them, he was probably the last person she wanted to be stuck in a tent with.

"Evan," he called more sharply, raising his voice so that she couldn't say she hadn't heard him- even a dead man could have heard that.

"Go the fuck away Daryl."

He narrowed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest, sniffing once to break the silence. "What's this about, the girls or us," he questioned, hearing her breathing catch once. Slowly, Evan rolled over to face him, her eyes red and puffy, cheeks blotched with red. "You do not want to have this conversation with me right now, Dixon." Daryl leaned in towards her, his eyes searching hers as he breathed in her face quietly, "I think I do." Evan opened her mouth for a moment before thinking better of it and sailing into Daryl. He wasn't prepared to be knocked back into the soft vinyl of the tent, but he still managed to hold his own, able to block her vicious punches with his forearm. "I told you to go the fuck away," Evan shouted, not letting up as she attempted to vet out all of her emotions. Daryl finally pushed her off of him and moved to pin her down, shouting in her face angrily. "I don't give a fuck what ya said, I'm not about to let you do this to yerself!" She kicked and screamed, her arms pinned against her chest as she tried to buck him off. When she was able, she made for her gun, Daryl scrambling to hold her legs.

He raised his hands, looking at her evenly as she set her sights on him, "Get that gun off my face."

"You do not know me, Daryl. No matter what I have told you or what you have seen, you do not know me," Evan whispered, trying to keep her hands from shaking as her voice waivered. "I am going through… a lot right now and I don't- I don't need you. I don't need you sweet talking me, coming to try and show me you care, because I don't need to try and handle you while trying to handle my kids. Things are fucked up right now and you are absolutely no good, no good for me. So stand up, unzip the flap and walk away from me. Can you do that?"

Daryl swallowed and instead moved towards her, reaching out for the gun. He pushed it to the side, leaning in uncomfortably to her again, his lips ghosting against her. Evan couldn't help the gasp that escaped her, eyes closing against her will as he spoke to her softly.

"I can leave this tent, yeah. But remember that ya started this- that ya made me care, about everything that is sitting right in front of me. And remember that ya have a friend in yer loneliness. And remember that yer my responsibility. And ya just go ahead and make sure ya remember that I'm just as fucking stubborn as ya, bitch: I'm not walking away from ya. Not today, and not ever… ya just go on and keep that in mind," he replied, finally pressing his mouth against hers in a bruising fashion before moving to back out of the tent.

"Oh, and Evan? If ya ever pull a gun on me again like that, I'll kill ya. And I mean it."

He turned to where the rest of the group was waiting, gesturing to the now-closed tent, "Y'all stay away from her. Evan's a little hot under the collar right now and she needs to cool off. I'm going out to search for Sophia." And with that, Daryl grabbed his bow and disappeared into the backdrop of the farm.

* * *

"Hey Evan, he's back."

The young woman looked up from the baby in her lap at Claire, sighing quietly. "Thank you for letting me know. Where's he at," she asked, kissing Jude's head as she laid her down. Claire moved to the side as Evan joined her outside the tent, the older woman pointing to the closest barn in the distance, "In there."

She made the trip across the farm, trying to think of what to say when she came face to face with Daryl. Evan knew that he had been right- what she had said and done was unfair, but he should have known to let sleeping dogs lie. A lot more had changed than just her telling Carter and Kennedy the truth: the way she felt about him had changed into something she was uncomfortable with saying, having felt him and truly… known him.

Daryl moved around the barn, harnessing up the horse he had taken out that day and settling in to start repairing his crossbow from where he had damaged it earlier that day. He heard a knocking behind him, glancing over his shoulder to see Evan standing in the doorway. For some reason, she looked meek and tiny, her hair pulled into a bun on the top of her head that made her look younger than her years. Barefaced, the dark circles underneath her eyes were apparent, Evan chewing on her bottom lip as she smoothed down her loose tank top over her leggings. "Hey," she murmured, the first word she had spoken to him willingly and cordially since they had gotten back to camp.

"So yer talking to me now? What do ya want?"

She stared at his back as he started fiddling with his bow, unsure of what else to say. "I just wanted to say… thank you for coming after me the other day. Especially when you didn't have to- I'm an adult. I'm technically not your responsibility Daryl, no matter what I said in the heat of a very heated argument," Evan said quietly, reaching up to tuck her hair being her ear. Daryl only chuckled humorlessly, shaking his head, "Don't come thanking me. I got to fuck ya, didn't I?"

"Don't be crude, Dixon."

"Then don't be rude, Harper," Daryl replied harshly, standing to face her.

Evan searched his eyes, scoffing, "So I'm being rude if I'm not all over your dick, is that it? I wasn't planning to jump you in the woods, asshole- and I wasn't planning on it being a regular kind of thing. I've got three kids to take care of and my girls don't need some… guy being there one moment and gone the next, whether you walk off or get your ass bit!"

"So it is about us then, huh," he asked almost menacingly, bearing down on her. "Ya made a decision and although I thought that it meant something, obviously ya don't and ya feel bad about it. Well, get the fuck over it! I'm not about to be the blame for why ya can't get yer shit together and take care of yer kids."

She pushed at his left shoulder, glaring impressively as she did so. "Don't make it seem like this is my fault, Daryl. You've made it perfectly clear that-"

"I ain't trying to play daddy? Ya damn right I'm not!"

"That you're emotionally un-fucking-available! Its more than just sex for me now that I'm sober and thinking clearly, and that's why I dug my heels in for so long. I don't blame you for what happened in the woods- I thank you! But things are about to get messy Daryl: they are messy already and you're going to get pulled into this. Because this is my life and this is what you are refusing to walk away from. That's what you said, ain't it? 'Ya started this' and 'ya made me care, about everything' that I am. 'Ya have a friend in yer loneliness'; you remember saying that," Evan asked almost scathingly, sneering as she worked her way underneath his skin. "Shut the fuck up." Daryl turned his back on her again, picking up a screwdriver as she continued to talk, "I'm not walking away from you- that's what you said Daryl! 'Not today and not ever', you said that! Those words were probably the very worst thing you could say to me then, because I was in a position to hope that you meant them, to believe they were true. You were supposed to be a fix but you and I both know that… you are much more than that now, Dixon. And so I am standing here, giving you an out, letting you make that choice to just leave. Because I know that I can deal with that, that I can be okay without you before I let this go any further. I am asking you, Daryl- literally begging you- not to put me through this if your heart is not in it."

He turned and threw the screwdriver into the wall behind her, fuming at the audacity of Evan. Once she had said that he could give a woman whiplash from how volatile he could be, but in the truth of it all, she was a much worse pain in the neck than he was. "Where do ya get off telling me to fuck off and then turning around talking some bullshit about trying to… be with me? I have done everything I've could to be a good man, listened to ya, let ya cry on my shoulder, hold ya, run after ya- and ya stand here, asking me if my fucking heart is in it? Ya know what, get the hell out of my face woman!"

Evan's lips drew into a thin line before she pushed him roughly into the nearest wall, holding his face in her hands and screaming just as loud as he had, "You need me, Daryl! And you know its fucking true- you need me as much as I need you! As much as I want you!"

They were both quiet, the only exchange between them the inhale and exhale of breath, blue eyes staring into green. And then he gave, Daryl looking away from her when the words escaped him.

"I want ya too, Evan. And I do need ya."

She seemed relieved as he set about pulling her tank top over her head, closing her eyes and exhaling into the rapidly closing space between them. "I don't need a protector, or a husband, or a fucking daddy for my girls," Evan said as she kissed and bit his neck, starting to work on his belt. "I just need you Daryl. All of you… and I need you now."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her down into the warm safety that existed between them, knowing that there was no more need for words.

Daryl and Evan had been coming to this point ever since they had met each other- both of them had dreaded it, dreamed about it, fought it tooth and nail. It was the last of a need for self-preservation knowing that the threat of losing someone so close and having their metaphorical insides shredded was much worse than any bodily harm that could befall either of them. And while she had talked about it often, Daryl was just now giving serious thought to believing in fate because nothing short of a higher power could have forced him to do what he just had.

He gave in- to the uncertainty of the future, to fate, to Evan- and let life just take him for once.

Evan wasn't really ready to have that truth on her soul, nor was Daryl willing to say it aloud, but they both knew it and they could both feel it, that yes… his heart was in it.

And so was hers.


	17. Us

Evan paced outside of Claire's tent after dinner, chewing on her bottom lip. She could hear the girls talking inside, waiting on whether or not they'd finally come out and talk to her. They had been at a stand still for almost a week now, and she missed her two partners in crime more than anyone knew.

When the flap unzipped, she paused and put on a soft smile before seeing Claire. Crestfallen, she sighed and threw her hands up in the air, her friend coming to comfort her. The growing tension between the young mother and her daughters seemed to be taking its toll on her as well, her tired eyes emphasized by the dark shadows underneath.

"What can I say? They're definitely my kids," Evan said simply, trying to make light of the situation and her own feelings.

Claire sighed and reached out to touch her shoulder, "They just need time, sweetheart. It's a lot to take in so young, especially when they have been through so much… Its going to be okay, Evan, really. Just don't give up."

"Trust me, I'm stubborn," she replied quietly, turning back towards the fire. "Come have a drink with me."

They joined the others around the campfire, Evan sitting down beside Daryl as he opened a bottle of whiskey. It was quiet as she looked around at the firelight dancing across solemn faces, Carol breaking the silence first for once. "You know, I miss the noise of the world. Everything is so quiet now and its eerie, remembering all the people who made that unholy racket we used to live in… and knowing they're gone," she said mutedly, everyone nodding and murmuring in agreement.

"I miss simplicity," Evan uttered as the others turned to look at her. She reached up and tucked her hair behind her ears, her eyes flashing up to Daryl's. "When the worst thing that could have happened in a day was spilling coffee on my BDUs on the way to work, or getting into a blow up with my old man. Now I have to worry about literally getting eaten on a daily basis. Kind of sucks…"

"Miss my guitar."

Evan looked up at Daryl and half-smiled, leaning into his side, "You play the guitar?"

"I'm a renaissance man, sweetheart," he replied, taking a swig of bourbon and feeling the liquid burn as it slid down his throat.

The group stayed around the fire for awhile longer, enjoying the peace of the farm even while knowing that it was all temporary. Evan and Rick shared a glance over the fire, both of them not wanting to start the process of making contingency plans but realizing that the healthier Carl got, the more Hershel wanted them to leave.

She stood when the group decided to call it a night, extending her hand to Daryl and waiting for him. He wrapped his fingers around hers and let Evan led him to her tent, casting a glance back over his shoulder at where the others were watching them turn in.

Daryl pulled his tee shirt over his head before laying down to watch her undress, the hunter smoothing his hair back. "Still no word from Thing One and Two?" Evan cracked a smile and shook her head, moving to twist her hair up to her crown, "Unfortunately not."

"Girls are just like ya. Should've known ya would reap what ya sowed with them being so damn bullheaded," he replied, lighting a cigarette. He laughed and swatted away a pillow she threw, seeing her wry smile grow. She undressed and got ready for bed, slipping into an over sized tee shirt before laying down beside him. Evan sighed, throwing an arm over Daryl's chest and staring into the darkness. "This sucks Daryl. This entire world sucks… I watched my friends die, left my husband to end his own suffering. My mom got bit and I had to put her down in front of the girls, which fucking killed me to do. I've had to fight and I've had to kill, just to see another day. And now on top of everything, Kennedy and Carter have made it clear they want nothing to do with me," Evan murmured, feeling his fingers drawing shapes on her bare arms. "I'm sorry babe."

"No, no, I'm sorry. I shouldn't be griping and complaining about things…"

He looked down at her and shook his head, scoffing, "Ya can talk to me, ya know. I may not be the most talkative man, but I like to think of myself as a pretty good listener. Besides, the sound of yer voice does something to me: I like to hear ya talk. Its… soothing, I guess."

"So you would be upset if I stopped talking? Because, I feel like my lips could be put to better use right about now," she whispered, smiling softly as she moved to straddle his waist. He said nothing as he smirked, simply letting his gaze drift across her face in a manner that made her feel more than vulnerable. Daryl reached up and worked her curls out of the bun she had put them in, his hands tangling in her hair. She bit down on her bottom lip before he moved to kiss her, his mouth pressing against hers maddeningly.

Evan reached up to lace her arms around his neck, feeling his hold move from her hair to his waist, his hands moving to grip her hips underneath her shirt. She gasped when he pressed himself up against her, allowing space to come between the heat of their mouths so that she could catch her breath. Her thighs tightened along either side of him to bring him closer, Daryl breaking another kiss so that he could turn his attention to her neck. She breathed his name, fingers pulling at the shaggy hair at the nape of his neck before her nails found purchase on her skin.

Her hands moved to hold tightly onto his biceps, feeling the muscles move underneath her palms as he bit and kissed along her jugular. "Fuck." Daryl caught one of her lips between his teeth and she tugged it back lightly, smiling at him with her mouth plump from their make out session. They looked at one another as her hands moved to trace the hardened lines of his chest and stomach, Evan's eyes fixed on him.

Daryl reached down to run his hands over the achingly soft smoothness of her things, her hands falling to his belt. "You know, I never did get this belt I was promised," she said teasingly, seeing his eyes follow the path her tongue took along her bottom lip.

"Ya can have it."

She grinned as she pulled the belt from around his hips and threw it somewhere over her shoulder, readjusting herself as he moved to shimmy out of his jeans. Evan fell back down into his lap, both of them gasping quietly, the woman wrapping herself tightly around him in more ways than one. There was a fiery kiss pressed to her collarbone, Daryl burying his face in her neck as she dug her nails into the back of his shoulders. He moved against her in a way that set the world on fire, Evan wrapping her arms around his neck as he gripped and squeezed all of her, almost as if he couldn't find purchase on her flesh. She pulled him deeper into the pleasant sliding rhythm they settled into, whispering his name softly in his ear. Daryl moved to regain her lips as her body arched up in response to a particularly forceful thrust, their breaths heavy in the silence of the night.

Their bodies pressed together from chest to hip, one of Daryl's arms wrapped tightly around her midsection as his free hand wrapped around the back of her neck. He could drive her wild with how intensely he made love to her- there were two sides to Dixon when it came to intimacy, one where he was impatient and demanding, almost forceful with the way he fucked her into oblivion. The primal, still animal side of Evan made her crave that kind of intensity and it was nice to have been treated to that pleasure numerous times in the days since they had first given in to one another.

And then there was this: the kissing and the caressing, all of the lust quelled into a much softer, longer burning desire. Of course Evan had been a woman to love romance in her past life, but she had thought all of that had died with Danny and their marriage, and here she was, being proven wrong. She never would have thought that someone like Daryl could have been capable of being so deeply passionate and giving as a lover. But when his lips met her flesh, his breath quick and warm against her, it was like she was everything he needed- the very air he breathed.

He looked at her, prone and pliable, in his hands and closed his eyes to simply embrace the feel of her against him. Nothing had ever felt so real as Evan did now, Daryl feeling as if he could never be close enough to her even as their bodies twisted and intertwined. "Oh my fucking God, Daryl." He smiled against her skin at the sound of her breathy, passion-fueled words, Evan loving the soft curve of his mouth against her body.

Evan could feel her senses go into overdrive, the pressure building inside of her as the pleasure center in her brain started to fire uncontrollably. She couldn't keep up anymore with Daryl, feeling his hands wrap around her thighs to pull them further apart. His pace was manic, on the verge of being absolutely frantic as he drove into her. Despite knowing that her cries could wake the others, her voice rose in the night as fireworks scattered behind her eyelids. Her body had gone into a sensory overload, her skin on fire, hands moving to score and mark her lover's back. Daryl just continued to breathe haggardly as he pressed his face against her neck, allowing the furious wave of ecstasy to rip through him, destroying all vestiges of who he had been before that moment. She gave one last arch as if it were a death throw before collapsing against his chest, her body trembling in the same fashion as her lips.

He just gripped her repeatedly, trying to catch his breath, kissing every part of her he could reach. Evan smoothed down his hair from where she had pulled knots in it, Daryl just closing his eyes as she touched him.

Evan kissed his forehead before pulling her body from his to clean them both up, Daryl reaching up to scratch his head. He watched the exaggerated swing of her hips as she moved to wet a washcloth with a bottle of water, reaching for another cigarette.

"Yer gonna be the death of me one of these days, sweetheart," he murmured, receiving a quiet chuckle from her.

She moved to sit between his legs, this time with her back against his chest, Daryl draping an arm over her shoulder. Evan moved to lace her fingers through his, sighing quietly as he pressed a gentle kiss to her cheek. "I always sit here at night, blissed out and I still find myself… scared." He brushed her hair to the side, the two of them sitting quietly in the dark, "Of what?"

"You- and how I feel about you. And how all of this is supposed to work between us," Evan replied softly, feeling him move to wrap his arms more securely around her.

"Ya regretting us already?"

Daryl looked at her when she turned to face him, seeing how her eyes narrowed in the dim light. "I certainly do not," she retorted almost sharply, the hunter leaning in to place a peck to her lips. He set about curling a lock of her hair around his fingers, quiet for a few moments as she rested her head back against his chest. "We gotta be smart about this, because it ain't just me and ya, babe. Yer a package deal and jumping into a… relationship or whatever just ain't smart. But I done already told ya that ya ain't getting rid of me- we'll make whatever this is work. I've had enough bullshitting and fucking around for a lifetime, so we're moving forward, alright? No pussyfooting around," Daryl said as he kissed her temple, hearing her chuckle underneath her breath.

"Alright, no pussyfooting around."

He gave up his hold on her to pull the covers back, Evan returning to his arms as she closed her eyes. She tucked her head underneath his chin and sighing, replaying his words over and over in her head. It had been less than two months since she had first met Daryl, remembering how rocky things were for only a few days in the beginning. It should have been obvious to her even then that there was something different with that man, that this is exactly where they had been headed all along. But she had tried to convince herself otherwise, to keep from feeling even when that was exactly what she had wanted, needed- to feel love, to feel desire, to feel wanted. Evan still didn't fully understand how she could possibly this way after such a short time, trying to rationalize that it was just because of what they had been through, that they were using one another as emotional crutches.

But she knew it was more than that- that they were more than that.

"Don't think."

His voice was soft as he grazed his fingers along the outline of her body, Daryl drifting in and out of unconsciousness. "Don't think about all that external bullshit. Ya belong right here with me, body, mind and spirit... Just sleep for once.

"Don't think and just sleep."

* * *

Daryl looked down at his side when he finally roused in the morning, seeing the space next to him empty. He sighed and rubbed his face before sitting up, reaching out for the new set of clothes that were resting by his side.

"Thanks for keeping Jude for the past few nights. I'm gonna talk to Daryl when he wakes up about this living situation," Evan said to Claire as she helped make breakfast, her youngest daughter on her hip. "Its nice and all, but its too soon to be shacking up just yet. People- and most importantly, my three- need to get used to it first."

"Honey, you could marry him tomorrow and we would throw a party. That whole need for courtship and… propriety, for Heaven's sakes is an old world notion. And as you can see, the world has changed quite a bit."

The two women laughed before Claire turned to her, sighing quietly, "He does love you, you know. And he is going to make you a very happy woman, Evan. Don't let what anyone else thinks affect that or come between you. You understand?"

"Yes ma'am…"

He came out of the tent then and ran a hand through his hair before moving to join her, greeting Claire before moving to kiss Evan. She moved at the last moment so that his lips landed on her cheek instead of her mouth, Jude laughing at the wry smile she gave her. "Don't do that Daryl: not in front of her," she murmured, smoothing down her daughter's hair before looking back at him.

"Don't do what, be with ya? Didn't we discuss this last night," Daryl asked quietly, seeing her eyes narrow slightly. She handed him his cup of coffee while glancing at Claire's tent, knowing that another day would pass without her seeing or speaking to either Carter or Kennedy. "Yeah, we did, but I need to get shit with them settled first. And then we can start exposing the three of them to the way things are gonna be now. Oh, I wanna take Jude off of Claire's hands too… so that means you have to go back to shacking up with Glenn."

"So first ya don't let me kiss ya and now yer kicking me out? Seems like this is going downhill real quick-"

Evan shut him up with a glare and Daryl smirked, reaching out to take Jude from her arms, "But that's fine because I've got this pretty little lady to fall back on. Isn't that right, Jude?"

She giggled and he kissed her cheek, seeing his woman crack a smile at the sight of the two of them together. Evan didn't want to admit that he looked good with a baby in his arms- even if it was someone else's- seeing how well Jude had adjusted to his presence in their lives. The little girl laid her head on Daryl's shoulder and pulled lightly on a lock of his hair, quiet as he and her mother talked. "I've got Jude for awhile, and she seems just fine with me for now so ya need to go talk to yer girls. Because we're moving forward and I'm not letting anything hold us back," Daryl said just loud enough for her to hear, leaning in to kiss her forehead. He moved to sit down for breakfast, seeing an open spot beside Shane.

"Damn man, she got you caught up, didn't she," the former deputy drawled, his eyes on Rick and Lori's tent. Daryl turned to look at him, holding Jude in his lap, "Don't know what yer talking about."

Shane leaned over and lightly pinched the toddler's cheek, looking at Evan's back. "The hell you don't. You're walking around her, following after her like a lovesick puppy, sleeping in her goddamn tent, holding her baby. Its only been a few weeks Dixon and you've replaced her dead husband-"

"Ain't that the same thing ya did with Lori?"

Daryl smirked as he saw his eyes turn into slits, taking the plate of food from Carol when she came around. He let that question sink in before turning back to Shane, allowing Jude to eat from their shared breakfast. "How'd ya do it thought? With Carl involved, and knowing ya could never replace his dad," he asked quietly, seeing Shane look down at his plate. "I never tried to be more to him than what I was. Ain't right to try and come in, twelve and thirteen years into a life, and replace who was there before you. My own stepdad tried to do it: I wasn't going to do that to nobody else. You're never going to be a family, the five of you, because its not going to work. Its always going to be you and them- you prepared for that?"He turned back away and Daryl looked down at Jude, seeing how content she was with him.

She was still a little kid, but he wondered if she remembered her father, and thought about what Shane had just said. It hurt a little, and he wasn't sure that if somewhere in the back of his mind, he had been holding on to hope that nothing before he and Evan would matter, or if the fact that he dreaded Evan getting her shit together and realizing she was too good for him was the thing now bothering him.

But she came over then and took a plate, sitting down beside him. Evan didn't say a word, kissing the top of Jude's curls before leaning into Daryl's side, eating quietly.

Shane was wrong about the way things were going to be- things might have been fucked up between him and Lori, but that was their problem.

It was good with Evan, from the quiet way she proved she cared about him and the fact that despite her reservations, she was willing to try and make it work. For herself and the kids, but most importantly for Daryl himself: because she loved him, even if she wasn't willing to say it.

And he loved her, even if he didn't know it yet.


	18. Before the End

**For thanks in support, this chapter is dedicated to Sirunen. Enjoy, love.**

* * *

Evan was reading Sylvia Plath when Andrea unzipped her tent flap, Jude laying asleep, strewn across her mother's lap. The two women looked at each other before Andrea spoke, looking over her shoulder, "Claire asked me to get you: there's some sort of meeting up at the house with Hershel and your group."

"Just my people?"

She got alarmed when she heard that, putting Jude down and standing up. "Daryl's still out on his run, isn't he," Evan questioned, looking around the campsite. Andrea smirked and moved to let her out of the tent, throwing her hair back over her shoulder. "If he was back, you would be the first one to know." Evan gave her a look before starting towards the house, moving quickly- if something was wrong, she needed to know immediately.

Everyone was sitting around Hershel's kitchen table when Evan walked in, Claire sitting at the head of the table with Hershel standing with a hand on her shoulder. "What's going on?" The older man gestured to the empty chair between the twins, his voice soft, "You should sit down, Mrs. Harper."

"Well, now that everyone's here, I think I should just come on out and say what you're all here for. I want you all with me now… on what is going to be one of my final days with you. I'm dying," Claire said, the tears in her eyes heart wrenching for the others who looked at her. Lincoln's face fell as he looked at the woman who had practically been his mother since they had gotten together on the road, the young man in disbelief. "Dying? From- from what? You're fine, sitting here, talking to us and being… you!"

Hershel sighed and shook his head, looking at the small group, "When we gave your people checkups, Claire came in with complaints of shortness of breaths, localized pain and a mass underneath her right arm-"

"I had made plans to go to the doctor just a week before the outbreak and I just… never made it. I had breast cancer a few years ago and it went into remission, but its back. I've known it for a while, just wasn't right to complain though when everybody's people were dying and they were having to adjust to life without them. I didn't want to be selfish," Claire murmured, dabbing at her eyes with a napkin.

The twins started to cry and Evan was uncomfortable not knowing whether or not to console them, the young woman tensed with her eyes on Claire's face. "You knew and didn't say anything? We could have done something-"

"There's nothing left to do but wait Evan. Every day, I feel something else that starts to hurts- hurts so bad that I have to force myself not to just give in and scream. And I can barely breathe enough to do the simplest things for myself. If I can't be a help to this… family, then I'm a hindrance and I cannot be a burden to you all! Not in this world, not when things are like this!"

"You are not a hindrance," James finally said, his voice breaking quietly. "And no one is about to put you down. You're not an animal, Claire-bear and we're not going to treat you like that."

She stood and looked at the faces before her, her hands braced against the table. "Look, I am a Catholic and I cannot do it myself. Likewise, I cannot just allow myself to sicken and waste away as you watch me. I am not naïve enough to think that I can be here one day and gone the next, and think that it won't affect you. I… I just don't want to leave you all with the thoughts of me a near corpse, drawing my last breaths in a fucking tent, for Christ's sakes! I want you to remember me now, without the cancer taking my body against my will," Claire said loudly, Evan settling back in her chair and brushing at her eyes silently.

Evan reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears, sniffling, "Fine, Claire: I'll do it."

"Well… then that was easier than I thought."

* * *

"She wants ya to kill her," Daryl asked, lighting up a cigarette as he watched Evan furiously cleaning her stockpile of weapons. She had told him everything that had happened in his absence, right up to the part where Claire had told him and the others of her plans once he had returned for dinner.

He let her reassemble her rifle before moving to lay down across her legs, sighing quietly as he looked at her, "Ya know, ya don't have to do it if ya don't want to. I mean… I could do it-"

"No Daryl, you can't. Claire has been there practically from the start with my family and she- she is family now. I have to be the one to do it."

"Yer too fucking stubborn sometimes, Evan. Ya like to dig yer heels in."

Evan set aside her rifle and reached out to brush his hair back from his face, smirking, "Like to dig my nails in too."

He raised up and kissed her after tossing his cigarette out of the open tent flap, pulling away to run his thumb over her cheek. Daryl looked at her thoughtfully before settling back, looking around the tent and sighing. "When can we start sleeping together again?" She cut her eyes at him and reached out for a pistol, pursing her lips. "You did not just ask me that," Evan muttered with narrowed eyes, her partner chuckling before shaking his head. "I meant in the literal sense: I… miss sleeping beside ya night. In fact, I can't sleep without ya," Daryl replied honestly, seeing her look at him evenly. Her gaze was softer and kinder when she spoke next, cleaning and polishing her gun. "You know, you're right about me liking to dig my fucking heels in but you, Mr. Dixon, don't give me an inch. Everything with you is like… being on a runaway train and all we're doing is gaining speed. You scare me."

"And ya scare me too, so call it even. It's like I'm somebody else I don't even recognize when I'm with ya- and it's a good thing, yeah. But it don't scare me no less."

She looked out at where Lincoln and the twins were entertaining Jude, chewing on her bottom lip.

"Daryl… the thing is, I know I can survive the losses. I'm a fucking survivor: its what I do, its all I do. But when it comes to those girls, I'll be damned if they have to lose anything else," Evan murmured quietly as she turned back to look at him. "Even if it's you- hell, especially if it's you."

"Look, ya don't have to worry about me going anywhere Evan- I already told ya that I'm not leaving. I couldn't leave ya if I wanted to, not after the hell ya put me through, baby. And ya say ya aren't digging yer heels in, but ya are when it comes to yer girls. Ya won't let me get close to ya for worrying about them, but the thing is that ya don't have to. Ya can trust me with Jude and Kennedy and Carter, because I would never do anything to hurt them… or ya."

Daryl leaned in once more to kiss her, Evan inhaling the breath that caressed her lips before pressing her mouth to his and groaning quietly. "So sleeping together," he grinned against her lips, Evan pulling away to laugh.

"We'll talk about it later, alright?"

She stood then and stepped out of the tent, shaking out her hair before crossing over to where Claire was sorting her clothes into piles. "What are you doing Claire," Evan questioned as the older woman hummed contentedly, looking over her shoulder at her young friend. "Getting all of my affairs in order, Mrs. Harper. I got a lot of clothes that you guys can go through, pick out what you want-"

"You're really going through with this, aren't you?"

"End of the week," Claire replied matter-of-factly, continuing to sort through the laundry. Evan watched her for a few moments longer before joining her, the only words exchanged between them dealing with what was going where.

Barely wrinkled hands paused and fell to Claire's sides, the older woman letting out a quiet sigh. "I wish that it wouldn't have to be this way, that maybe it would be better if I had gotten myself bit and it was justified. But then I have to step back and realize that there is no justice with this disease, no fairness, no hope. Its going to kill me, no matter how hard or long I fight the inevitable. And it sucks… it sucks that I have to die so soon. It sucks that you have to be the one to do this," she whispered brokenly as she tried to keep herself from crying, her bottom lip trembling.

"I love you Claire. You have done… so much for me and my girls, taken care of them for me when I've been unable to. This is the very least I can do for you," Evan replied lovingly, throwing her arms around Claire when the older woman hugged her tightly. They stood there for several long moments before Claire stepped away, sniffling quietly.

"Wanna help me finish cleaning this tent out?"

Evan smiled silently and nodded, moving to help her, "Sure Claire."


	19. Famous Last Words

Evan let her head hang as a bead of sweat rolled off of her nose to hit the bottom of the tent, the almost silent splash she knew had followed lost in the quiet panting of herself and her lover. He braced a hand on the small of her back and tried to catch his breath, looking at the back of her head, "Ya didn't come."

"But from the way you did, seems like faking it was pretty damn convincing."

Daryl chuckled quietly, shaking his head before leaning forward to kiss her shoulder blade. "Yeah, no. It ain't hard for me: a little friction, a good tug and I'm set. But with you, I can… feel it when it's real- ya have a tell, woman. Yer legs quiver," he replied, watching her drop down from the palms of her hands and onto her back. She smiled and looked up at him, running her fingers back through her hair. "Oh, my legs quiver," Evan questioned playfully as she watched Daryl move to settle between her thighs. He nodded and kissed her, moving to wrap his arms around her shoulders as he braced himself on his elbows. "Yeah, they do and I could go about showing ya, but I can look at ya and see that yer mind ain't on fucking, or on me."

She sighed and closed her eyes, holding Daryl's head to her stomach. Evan listened to the sound of their breathing before she spoke, her voice quiet, "She's choosing to die- today, Daryl. Claire knows that tomorrow will never come for her and… and I can't think about anything other than the fact that she won't be here. Since I lost my old man and my parents, I've made damn certain not to lose anyone else, but this? I can't do anything to stop it."

"Baby, look at me," Daryl said, raising his head up to meet her eyes. "Yer not responsible, not for everything and everyone. Ya can't keep looking at things as complete successes or failures, especially when they don't have anything to do with ya. I don't wanna have to worry about ya having a mental breakdown or some shit because other people are fucking up. They are responsible for staying alive, to make that fucking choice to live- don't take that burden on yer self. Ya already got yer hands full with me and the girls."

Evan chewed on her bottom lip for a few moments before clearing her throat, the woman moving to sit up. She braced her elbows on her knees, Daryl moving to sit up as well. "Promise me that you'll fight to your dying breath. When… when Danny 'opted out', that was a cruel blow that was worse than the fact that he was going to die anyway. As soldiers, we were trained to never give up- and I don't care how much bullshit happens to me, I refuse to just lay down and die. I'm stronger than that and so are you, Daryl. So I don't care if you get bit or if you get cancer: you have to keep going until you can't. For me, so I'll know that you tried and that you fought, tooth and fucking nail," she replied quietly, seeing the way his lips drew into a thin line in the dim lighting inside of the tent.

"I'll always promise that- but ya don't ever need to think about my dying. I don't plan on dying anytime soon."

"Nobody ever does."

* * *

Claire was laughing loudly with the group as she enjoyed her last night, her wine glass full of champagne never allowed to go dry. They had made her a feast that evening, everyone coming together to joke and listen to her stories of her life. Kennedy and Carter were never far from her side, James showering her in affectionate hugs and kisses. Lori and Andrea had done her hair and makeup with the simple few things they had brought from their previous lives, Carol having produced a beautiful silk blouse she had been saving for 'something special'.

Hershel had not joined the festivities like his two daughters, Patricia and Jimmy had, but that morning he had prayed with Claire, hoping for her salvation when the end came.

"Ya gotta stop looking at her like that."

Evan sighed as she looked up at Daryl, the hunter holding Jude against his chest securely. He was searching her face and she moved to rub her temples, "I can't, babe. This is… a bit much for me right now."

"Ya promised her," he replied plainly, moving to kiss Jude's crown. "Ya told her ya would do it."

"Yeah, I know. And I plan on going through with it; I just can't sit here and act like everything's gonna be okay when its not. They're standing here, pretending that what's about to happen isn't going to change the way things are," Evan murmured quietly, tucking her hair behind her ears. She looked at where her family and the rest of the group enjoyed their time together, rubbing her forearms. "Evan, everybody's gotta die some time."

They were silent then, Evan pressing herself against Daryl's warmth and feeling safe in his arms. Jude was unusually quiet and clingy, as if she sensed what was happening with her mother and the others. The two women only held onto Daryl, the hunter only holding them that much closer- neither had the words to say how they were feeling.

When Claire stood, Evan was instantly on edge, Daryl squeezing her shoulder once supportively before moving to stand as well. The older woman began to hug everybody, starting with Hershel's people and then the group she had spent the last few weeks with, leaving her own family for last.

Evan took her youngest daughter in her arms to meet with her own people, seeing Claire hugging Lincoln tightly. "Oh, my sweet boy. You've kept me laughing and happy ever since I've met you, which is probably the one thing we don't have enough of in this world: simple joy in being together. I want you to stay good and sweet, Lincoln, and don't let this life change you," she said to him, stroking his hair in a motherly fashion. Evan hadn't realized how close the teenager and the pensioner had grown, Lincoln moving to take off his class ring. He placed it on Claire's hand and kissed her hand, trying not to cry in front of everyone, "Love you Claire."

"I love you too Lincoln. So very much."

Claire's words for James were whispered into his ear, the soldier smirking before nearly suffocating her with a bear hug. "You are one hell of a woman Claire Magnusson. And I'm sure that I'll never meet anyone quite like you again," he said with a grin, kissing her temple. She patted his chest and turned to the women, taking in the faces of Carter and Kennedy, Jude and Evan.

She reached out to Kennedy, stroking her cheek lightly as she looked at her sister, "Before I go, I need you two girls to promise me something important. I can't… die knowing that I'm living behind such a mess- and true, it may not be my mess, but I have really bad OCD and that still bothers me." Carter smiled through her tears before moving to wrap herself around Claire's waist, sniffling sadly. "Things are so complicated in life, and that much I knew even before the dead started to walk. And there's a lot things that we can't understand, but we have to find the good in every situation we go through- you two need to find the good here. You're angry and you're confused and everyone understands, but you can't let what happened in your life make you hate the one person who has done everything they could to love you and protect you. Lots of people lost their mothers when this goddamn outbreak happened, but yours is right here, trying. Don't push her away."

"Yes ma'am," Kennedy said, casting a fleeting glance at Evan.

"And you," Claire continued, moving around the twins towards their mother. "You saved me. You got me out of a bad situation and you took me in like one of your own. Most people would have looked at me, fifty and with no knowledge of survival beyond that of my marriage, and left me. But not you, because you're so kind and good. I've always looked at you and seen in your heart the daughter I never had, that love is so strong between us. Thank you."

Evan shook her head and wrapped an arm around the older woman's shoulder, her voice thick, "No sweetie, thank you."

Claire kissed Jude and stroked her hair one last time before Daryl moved to take her from Evan's arms, kissing his woman's temple comfortingly. James came forward and settled his hand on Claire's lower back, sighing quietly. "Ready?"

"Ready."

She took Evan's hand and the three set off towards the woods, Claire casting one last look back at the life she was leaving before turning to face the absolution that awaited her.

There were no words spoken as they reached the place that Claire had decided on yesterday, James standing back to lean against a tree as the two women looked at each other. Evan began rolling up Claire's sleeves, her voice quiet, "So all those kisses and hugs didn't go unnoticed today. Neither did whatever you whispered into our good ol' boy's ear." James and Claire both laughed then, the older woman smiling as she shook her head. "This is old bird has done her share of strutting but best believe me, the flirting is harmless," she replied, a soft blush coming into her cheeks.

"Oh Claire, you lying little minx you," James said, seeing Evan grin as she pulled her hair up.

She pulled out her knife then, James moving to empty his pockets. Claire grinned and shook her head at both of them as he started to pack a bowl, holding the marijuana pipe out to her, "It'll take your mind off of… the pain."

"It won't take long, twenty to thirty minutes at the most: your heart is strong and that will make it go faster," Evan said, looking at her friend. "Are you sure you want to do this Claire? You can still fight this- we may not have the medical advances anymore, but there is still a lot of homeopathic things we could try."

"No. This is what I want: I can't put you all through the trauma of watching me die like that, the same way I watched my mother die. That's the kind of shit you learn to fear, Evan. How can you fear a relatively painless death like this?"

Claire took a few hits until she was good and high, inhaling as she held her arms out to Evan. "I'm sick of this pain eating away at my insides, sick of feeling this… monster growing inside of me. I'm ill, and I'm dying, and I'm tired. As much as I hate to say it, this isn't a world for me honey. I can't make anything more out of this life, especially when it's almost over. But you- both of you- can make some good out of the people you have and the things you're capable of. Do some good when I'm gone, will ya?"

"Yeah, we will."

Evan kept her eyes on Claire's as she made the deep cuts from elbow to wrist, the rust-smell of blood seeming more familiar to her than she liked to admit. The older woman exhaled, blinking as she settled back against the rock she was leaning against. "So… this is what it's like to die. It's not bad, kind of numb actually- don't get your clothes dirty, Evan," Claire said as she tried to breathe through what little pain she could feel. Evan just reached out and gripped Claire's hands, supporting her through the change.

"It's pretty out tonight. I chose this place because of the stars," the quiet voice whispered, the woman's eyes turning up to the sky. "I've always loved the stars…"

"I'll miss you."

The soldier's voice was almost silent, broken with sadness over the ending of their time together. Claire's breathing was shallow and quick, the woman having a difficult time supporting herself, "I'll miss you, too. All of you." She finally allowed herself to drop the strong façade she had worn, the tears running down her barely wrinkled cheeks as she looked at Evan. "I'm ready… but I'm scared, of how it'll feel in that last moment. And of whether or not I'll go to heaven."

"Don't be scared," Evan replied shakily, squeezing her hands even more tightly. "I'm here with you and I'm not going anywhere."

Her face evened out then, a gentle calm taking over her features as she nodded. Inside, terror and anxiety raced through Evan even as she tried to be supportive, seeing Claire's eyes dim. The older woman closed her eyes even as her hands tightened, her head resting back against the rock she leaned on. Her breathing was quiet for a few moments before she exhaled heavily and sagged, her hands loosening their hold on Evan's. The young woman searched the blank face before her, her bottom lip trembling, "Claire?" She reached up to stroke her hair back, resting her hand on Claire's cheek as she tried futilely to rouse her. "Claire, wake up."

"Evan, she's gone."

The pressure of James' hand on her shoulder felt strange, as if he wasn't touching her at all, "I know Jaime, but we have to wake her up and take her back to camp." James knelt down beside his friend and wrapped his arms around her, shaking his head. "Evan, Claire is dead. She's not going to wake up… she's gone, baby. Claire is gone."

Evan burst into tears then as the denial held fast to her, not wanting to believe that Claire had been there one moment and gone the next. No matter how much death she had been around, it was never easy and it always hurt, just like it did now. She had been here, held the knife, held her hands, watched the life in her eyes fade- and it didn't seem real.

It couldn't be.

They sat there for as long as it took for Evan to get herself together, James helping her to her feet before moving to scoop Claire's still-warm body up in his arms. "Come on." They walked side by side, treading quietly through the woods until the broke out of the tree line.

Evan looked up from the ground as she heard someone running through the field between them and camp, seeing the twins coming towards her. They were both shouting something that she couldn't hear, but it didn't matter, the woman running to them. The three crashed into each other, Evan falling to her knees as she wrapped her arms around them tightly. "What are you saying to me," she asked repeatedly, trying to understand what both of them were sobbing. Carter was the one to speak first, pressing her forehead against Evan's, "We're sorry about what we said and how we've been acting. We're so sorry."

"You're our mom and we love you," Kennedy said, holding Evan about the neck. Her breath caught in her throat before she burst into tears again, holding on to the twins tightly. "I love you too, so much," Evan said, closing her eyes as she simply held them.

For her, one precious life had ended that night and for Claire, she had to grieve. But another life had begun, one where things would be okay for all of them- Jude, Kennedy, Carter, Daryl and herself…

And for that life, she couldn't help but rejoice just a little bit.


	20. Move On

Evan sighed as she woke up, sitting up in the darkness and sighing. The twins were still asleep, wedged in the corner of the tent with Jude, Fenris laying at their feet protectively. Looking at them, a smile made its way across her face before she got up, moving to get dressed.

She had herself the usual morning cigarette before starting a fire and putting a pot of water on, knowing that the sun would be up before too long.

Daryl slept lightly as he always did when Evan wasn't beside him- there was something about that woman that just comforted him and he only ever slept well in her arms. He rolled over as he heard the zipper moving on the flap of the tent, reaching for the knife he always kept by his side.

"What, you gonna stab me sweetheart?"

Evan's grin glinted in the early morning briefly before she shut out the moonlight, moving in the darkness towards his cot. Glenn rolled over to see the silhouette of her back and sighed, shaking his head, "You mind keeping it down?"

"Man, shut up," Daryl grumbled, lifting his arm so that Evan could press her body against his.

He kissed her curls and sighed, running his fingers over the sharp angles of her shoulder and side. "Mmhm, it's a little early for ya to be up, isn't it? I know that ya ain't here for business, so ya must be here for pleasure huh," he asked quietly, snaking one hand up her shirt to press it against her stomach. She shook her head and rolled over on his small pallet to face him, smirking. "No? So then what do ya want this early in the morning, woman?" She chuckled then as he stroked her skin almost absentmindedly, flicking her tongue out across his upper lip before getting back up, reaching for the tent flap, "Why don't you get up and come see?"

"Only for ya sweetheart."

Daryl sighed as she left as quickly as she came, moving to get dressed before climbing out of the tent.

She was standing with her back towards him, but she smiled knowingly as his arms came around her waist tightly, Daryl pressing his lips to her neck before moving to clean up with the basin by the fire. "Good morning," he growled out rather sweetly, seeing her light up a cigarette. Evan held it out to him when he returned to her side, wrapping a possessive arm around his hips.

"So, I know that you're going to go out and look for Sophia today, but I was wondering if maybe you could… take a few minutes out of your morning to move your things?"

"Oh, you do? And may I ask, where exactly I'm moving to," Daryl asked cockily as he moved to sit down in one of the lawn chairs. Evan stood between his legs, feeling his hands on her hips as she rested her own on his shoulders. "You're moving in with me. We're finally shacking up, doll face."

He smirked and leaned back in his chair, folding his hands behind his head, "Ah, I see. Yer trying to make me a more accessible booty call, huh?"

"Definitely."

They both laughed before Evan draped her legs over his and sat down in his lap, lacing her arms around his neck. She stared into his eyes as they went quiet again, sighing contentedly. "But really, I just realized that I wasn't doing nothing but pussyfooting around with you Daryl. Carter and Kennedy think you're pretty great, and Jude? Well, she's her mother's child and she can't seem to let you go for a second. Only seems right that we move ahead with things- shit, we're already playing house," she murmured, stroking the hair at the nape of his neck. Daryl kissed her and ran his hands up her thighs, smirking. "Well, we are pretty good at playing… what's that game we started?" She held his face in her hand, pressing her lips against his lightly, "Good touch, better touch."

Evan grinned and moved up higher on his waist, moving to twist her fingers in his hair. He welcomed the generous pecks she was fond of giving, his hands coming around her backside. "Yeah, I like that game. I'm fucking undefeated-" They parted as the door of Dale's RV opened, the older man coming out to look at the, Evan looking at him over her shoulder suspiciously. Daryl smirked and turned to face him, throwing up a hand.

"Morning Dale."

"Morning Daryl, Evan," the old man said, moving towards the fire. "Hope I wasn't interrupting anything."

Evan chuckled humorlessly, stepping behind Daryl and lacing her arms around his shoulders. "Of course not, we were just… talking," she replied as she pressed a kiss to the side of Daryl's head. She stood to her full height then and squeezed his shoulders, moving back towards her tent. "And since we're not playing games anymore, we can start getting our shit together- get off your ass, Dixon." He puckered his lips at her as she did the same, running a hand back over his shaggy head.

"You know, that girl you got there is a keeper," Dale murmured, the hunter looking after her as she disappeared inside her tent. Daryl nodded before turning back to the old man, knocking the ash off of his cigarette and smirking, "I know."

"Don't mess it up."

The morning was spent with the twins and Evan cleaning up their tent to make room for Daryl, everyone watching as he moved his things from the tent with Glenn to be with his woman. He could see the knowing smiles from the woman in camp, Shane and T-Dog looking on enviously.

Evan set about neatly sorting through and folding Daryl's clothes, placing them in the large storage bin that doubled as a washing tub when all of the laundry was dirty. She held up a thin, gray cotton tee shirt and looked at it curiously before pulling her tank top over her head. Daryl turned around from laying out his blanket over hers on the pallet to see her wearing his shirt, one side falling off of her shoulder. "It smells good," Evan said simply, holding her hands out for him to judge.

He only smirked and nodded, tossing his pillow down beside hers, "It looks good on ya. Keep it."

There was a gentle tapping on the side of their tent, Andrea stepping inside and looking at Evan. "Hey, I kinda need a favor," she asked, looking over her shoulder at Daryl before clearing her throat and stepping over to where she stood. Andrea spoke in a whisper, nervously running her fingers through her hair, "You wouldn't happen to have a tampon, would you? Supplies are dry in the rest of the camp and I really need one."

"Sure," Evan said, opening the side pocket of her backpack. She paused with her thoughts for a moment before turning back to what she was doing, her mind elsewhere, "I have… plenty."

When Andrea was gone, Evan straightened up where the girls would sleep before moving to wrap her arms around her man's waist, pressing her lips to the side of his neck. "I'm gonna go into town today with Glenn when you go out to look for Sophia," she murmured, Daryl straightening up and turning to look at her.

He held her face in his hands and sighed, letting his eyes meet hers. "I'd rather have ya here, if I'm being honest. Ya had a rough couple of weeks and yer tired as fuck- I can see it in yer eyes, even when ya smile." Evan chuckled and shook her head, holding his hand to her cheek anyway. "I'm starting to think that you know me just a little too well," she murmured, Daryl smirking and leaning down to kiss her.

"That's gross," Kennedy said, coming into the tent and flopping down on the pile of blankets in the corner. Evan pulled away from him and smiled, licking her lips as she looked at him, "Mind your own business, kid."

"Don't make out with your boyfriend in front of me, mom."

Daryl followed her out of the tent, moving to throw an arm around her shoulders as he pressed a kiss to her temple. "They just calling ya 'mom' now, easy as pie," he asked, hearing her chuckle humorlessly. "Like they've been doing it their whole lives. Jaime says he thinks it's because, due to how my mother died, they're needing to fill that void. Lucky for the twins, they got stuck with two moms." He kissed her cheek before moving to retrieve his crossbow from the bed of the pickup, tousling Carter's hair as he walked by.

"What time do you think you'll be back," Evan questioned nervously as she crossed her arms over her chest, watching him get ready to go out. She was always concerned about his wellbeing, especially when he was away from her for any significant length of time. Today was especially bad due to extenuating circumstances, but she wasn't about to jinx anything or make him overtly nervous as well.

He put his knife on his hip and loaded his bow with a few extra arrows, looking at her with narrowed eyes. "What time ya gonna be back?" She smirked ruefully as she met his gaze, cocking her hip, "Sundown."

"Then I'll be back by sundown," Daryl replied, moving to meet her by the fire.

Evan sighed and pressed her hands against chest, standing on the tips of her toes so that they were eye to eye. "Be careful, alright? And come back before dark: you said you would be. I fucking worry about you out there sometimes, especially when you decide not to come back," she murmured, Daryl unashamedly kissing her in front of everybody- he practically didn't even notice them anymore when she was around. "The only reason I wouldn't come back is if I found a good hunt and I'm not doing that today- quick stroll to see if she's been up the highway or back at the old site. I promise I'll be here by dark, sweetheart; keep yer panties on, why don't ya?" She scoffed and bumped her forehead against his before letting her hands fall, smiling quietly, "Now when have you ever wanted me to do a stupid thing like that?"

He smirked and kissed her temple one last time before throwing his bow over his shoulder, starting off towards the tree line at the back of Hershel's property.

"Remember what I said, Dixon!"

True to his nature, he didn't respond, instead throwing up a hand and walking away. She watched him until he was gone before turning back to the camp, coming face to face with Carol. "What?" The older woman only shook her head and started heating up lunch, shaking her head, "Nothing. I'm just… living vicariously."

* * *

Glenn stared openly at Maggie as she moved to bring them the horses they were going to ride into town, Evan making sure that she had the list of things they needed. She was ready to leave when she felt someone tap on her shoulder, Lori smiling softly before holding out a folded note. "I, uh, need you to get me a special item from the… feminine hygiene section of the pharmacy. Can you be discreet about it," the woman asked, searching Evan's eyes carefully.

The former soldier opened up the piece of paper before promptly closing it and handing it back to Lori, "Burn that."

Rick's wife nodded and walked away from her, Evan turning back to where Glenn and Maggie were waiting. She ran a hand back through her curls, exhaling loudly before taking the reins the woman handed to her. "Let's go," Evan said, mounting the horse with ease and turning the mare towards town.

Things were quiet as Glenn awkwardly attempted to initiate conversation with Maggie, Evan falling back to try and decipher what was going on between them. She held a shotgun against her shoulder and scanned the town, looking at a nearby pharmacy, "I need to stop there before we hit the food stores."

She dismounted and walked inside, hearing the other two moving behind her. Evan knew exactly what she was looking for, disappearing into the aisles. "Evan?" She hushed Glenn as she shuffled through the boxes on the floor, the woman bracing her free hand on her knee and looking at the pregnancy test in her hand.

"God, life sucks."

She knelt down to put it in her book bag as Glenn came around the corner, Evan throwing a glare over her shoulder. "What are you doing? You can't just disappear like that," he hissed angrily, Evan standing up after picking up a few more things. She smirked and tossed him a box, brushing past him as she finally spoke, "Just picking up some supplies."

Glen looked after her before staring down at the box in his hands, choking out her name, "Evan?"

"Its not like your options are too vast these days, kid…"


	21. How Do You Know?

Evan sat in her tent quietly, staring at the box she turned over and over in her hands. Someone tapped on the side of her tent and she looked at the silhouette through the thin wall, sighing.

"Come in, Lori."

She stepped inside, opening her mouth to ask a question before seeing what she held. The two women looked at each other, Evan throwing up the pregnancy test, "Looks like you've got some business to handle… How do you know Lori? How do you even begin to suspect?"

"You just know," Lori murmured, reaching for the box. "You just… know."

"And you know that this is not a world to be having babies in. It's not fair or right, but it's true," the younger woman replied, her eyes narrowed. Her friend sniffled a bit but kept her composure, nodding as she straightened up. "You think I don't know that? As soon as I missed my period for the second time, I fucking knew! Once, yeah, you can explain that away: lack on nourishment, stress, environment. But twice? There's no lying to yourself then…"

The former soldier folded her hands over her stomach and closed her eyes, shaking her head. "Take your shit and go away."

Lori left after tucking the pregnancy test into her waistband, looking both ways before she disappeared. However, Evan wasn't alone long, Carter bringing Jude to their mother. "She fell down and scraped her knee; she was crying, but I gave her a Band-Aid," the young girl explained, Evan smoothing down Jude's curls. "Oh honey, I'm sorry that happened to you. Let mama kiss it." When her mother bent down to kiss the bandage, Jude jerked her leg away, "Not you mama. Daddy kisses it."

"She's been asking for him all day," Carter said almost offhandedly, moving to lay down on her bed. "But she's not talking about Danny- Jude wants Daryl."

There was nothing that Evan could say to that, or the question that she asked next, "Do you love him, Evan? Like you used to love Danny?"

Carter looked up from her book at Evan, taking in the narrowing of her eyes and the way her arms were crossed over her chest. The young girl smirked then, moving to prop her head up on her hand as she eyed her mother. "You do, don't you? You love Daryl." Evan cleared her throat and ran her fingers back through her hair, pondering that question before speaking. "Carter, listen… When it comes to things dealing with love and affecting and being with somebody like I am with Daryl, they aren't always black and white-"

"Well, you're black and white, so that's a moot point."

"God you're a smartass, kid," Evan said, shaking her head as she played with Jude. "But to answer your question, I care about him enough. He's gonna be around for a long, long time."

The two women looked at each other, the younger one closing her book to look at her. "I mean, that's a good thing. The three of us have a mom… we need a dad too. And you love Daryl, so it only makes sense," Carter murmured, Evan looking at her and sighing. "Look, no one expects you to just replace the parents who raised you. You and Kennedy lost two wonderful, loving people less than four months ago-"

"We lost them and we got you and Daryl, Evan. It balanced out."

Evan folded her hands behind her head and closed her eyes, "I guess so."

* * *

Daryl stood by the ridge as he came back to the place where he had last seen her, sighing- the memory of the geeks running after her and Kennedy was still very fresh in his mind. He remembered how Evan had told him the truth in the lies he had once believed, how quickly she had gone from unassuming sister to mama grizzly in a heartbeat.

"Sophia!"

He walked the length of the ridge as he followed the river, his careful eyes scanning the land for any signs of her. The sun was moving across the sky, slowly but surely, and he knew that he would have to start heading back soon in order to keep his promise to Evan.

She was a good woman, cautious when it came to his safety yet willing to run headfirst into a dangerous situation herself. Daryl thought about her constantly in a way that was almost reflexive, always continuous- just like breathing. In the midst of his search, he paused to catch his breath, reminiscing about all the times he had looked into her eyes. For some reason- despite how much he liked the rest of her- there was something about her eyes that just got him. "Eyes are the windows to the soul," Daryl mumbled out, the words coming to him from some long-forgotten assignment in the days before he had dropped out of high school. And he knew that it was true, that every time Evan looked at him, she bared her very soul to him.

Daryl, well… Daryl loved that about her: he loved just about everything about her.

"Get yer fucking head together, Dixon."

He spotted something in the water just a few feet ahead, stepping off the ridge's trail to get a good look at it. Sophia's little cloth doll- the one she had carried since the days in Atlanta- was sitting tattered and wet, half in the water and half on a log, the first sign he had seen from her in about two weeks. "Sophia!" Knowing that the doll was the proof he needed to get everyone back in the search and scouring every inch of the woods, he traced out what looked to be the safest path down the ridge with his eyes, sighing.

Daryl put his crossbow on his back and started down, using the trees to try and help steady him. However, his efforts were in vain- the earth was wet and loose from the previous days' rain, and it gave less than a quarter of the way down the face of the ridge. He cried out as he tumbled out of control, trying his best to protect his head and back as he smashed through the trees.

The last thing he remembered before hitting the hard rock at the bottom of the shallow water was thinking that despite his best efforts, he probably wasn't going to make it home- which was, effectively, wherever Evan was- anytime soon…

She paced as the others cleaned up after dinner, Carol walking towards her with two plates stacked in her hands. Evan paused and looked at her, shaking her head, "Go away Carol, I'm not hungry."

"Still, you should eat something. I know you're worried-"

"Worried does not come close to the way I'm feeling," Evan replied as the sky steadily darkened from red to black. The hours since the sun had started to go down had felt absolutely endless, each minute seeming to drag by as she waited. At first she had just thought Daryl was fucking with her, deliberately cutting it close to darkness just so that she would get heated and hit on him for a moment or two before practically dragging him away to work out the rest of her frustrated worrying. Then Evan's intuition had gotten the better of her, the woman recalling how adamant he had been about being back even while kidding- and he wouldn't break a promise to her.

She felt like she was smothering the more time passed, and it was hard not to keep staring at the last place he had been, Evan expecting to look up and see Daryl, crossbow in hand, coming across the field to wrap his arms around her.

"This isn't the first time he's done this," Shane said calmly, throwing peanut shells into the fire as he stretched out not too far from Evan. Rick nodded in agreement, looking up at the visibly-distressed woman, "He probably came across a kill he couldn't pass up."

Evan turned on both of them, her jaw set firmly and her arms crossed over her chest. "Look, I know that everyone around here thinks that I'm just over-fucking-reacting, but I'm not. I know Daryl and today, before he left, I made him practically swear that he would come back. I sent him off with a bad feeling and I know that I shouldn't have let him go, I shouldn't have… But he went. He should be back by now, Rick, and he's not. And Daryl would not break a promise to me," she said in a flurry of words, pausing in her incessant pacing to place her hands on her hips. Shane just laughed and shook his head, taking another swig of his beer. "Damn girl, you got it bad-" She charged towards him like a bull, the deputy getting to his feet as she challenged him. "Whoa," Rick shouted, moving to jump between them. Evan wasn't dissuaded, however, narrowing her eyes angrily, "You think that I'm acting like this because I'm just thirsting for a piece of fucking dick, Shane? No, that's my fucking partner out there- my guy! And I just know- I feel it in my heart- that something is wrong!"

"Evan, fighting the people who are here with you isn't going to help you or him any?"

"You wanna help me Rick," she shouted angrily, less than an inch away from his face. "Then get your gun, come with me and find him!"

Lori wrapped one arm around Kennedy's shoulder as they watched her mother fraying around the edges, looking at her own husband, "Running into the woods at night is a bad idea Evan. Think of your children and think of Daryl- he would not want you putting yourself in danger with your girls needing you, not even for his sake. Wait until morning, alright?"Evan let out a choking sob she had tried to keep at bay, holding onto Rick as she fell to her knees.

"He could be dead by morning… I had a dream a few nights ago that he got bit out there, and I didn't say anything. I should have said something," she said, the sheriff moving to wrap his arms around her shoulders.

In all truth, every time anyone from camp walked away, Rick worried about their safety and whether or not they would make it back. He knew exactly how Evan was feeling, but knew that she felt it more strongly than he ever had. "You are in no condition to be going out there- do you understand why I can't let you do that?" She nodded and closed her eyes, sniffling, "Yeah."

"We're gonna laugh about this in the morning when he comes striding back into camp with tonight's catch," Rick said, stroking her hair before he helped her to her feet.

She allowed herself to be taken to her tent, making up her mind that after they were all asleep, she was going out to look for him. Rick must have been thinking on her wavelength then, because all he did was sit down just outside the flap, sighing, "Looks like we're gonna be taking shifts on this one tonight…"


	22. My Man Is Gone, Gone, Gone

Evan laid in her makeshift bed as she attempted to get at least a few moments of rest, trying to clear her head after all her tears had been spent. She felt his absence more keenly than she thought would be possible: the night had been agonizing for her, her arms wrapped around herself as her face was pressed into the cotton of the tee shirt he had given her. It was almost like a blanket, something to try and help comfort her, to calm her racing thoughts and her building anxiety.

The tent flap opened and she steadied herself, rolling over to face her visitor.

"Is he back?"

Dale shook his head, watching Evan's eyes glaze over again before she pulled herself up into a sitting position. "Now Evan, he could have just camped out for the night- he's probably on his way back now," the old man said, seeing Evan grab her gun and place it on her hip. She moved past him and let out a heavy exhale, staring at the already lit fire, "Have you ever… loved someone? Loved them from the first moment you met them, Dale? And pushed your feelings aside in lieu of 'protecting' them, in lieu of protecting yourself? Have you ever looked into someone's eyes and screamed in their fucking face because you couldn't control yourself anymore, because you stopped wanting that control?"

She turned to look at Dale, a certain helplessness in her face that didn't look quite at home on her features. "Daryl and I have something I can barely stand to think of in an objective manner, something that became a part of me when I wasn't even looking at it. I… feel it, in my goddamn bones, that something bad has already or is just about to happen. And that scares me because I can't do anything about it, not while I'm standing here, kicking up dust-"

"You aren't a soldier anymore," Dale said plainly, seeing a glint of anger in her eyes. "And you do not have to keep running into the line of fire for everybody else."

"He is not everybody else. Not to me."

Daryl gasped as he came to, the sky too dark to tell whether or not the sun had just set or was about to rise. The latter option made him cringe internally at the thought of a night having gone past with him both unawares and unconscious at the mercy of his environment, and Evan undoubtedly losing her mind wondering what had happened to him.

He attempted to sit up in the shallow pond before pain shot up his side, Daryl stifling an agonized cry and looking down to see how bad his injuries were. Blood had darkened his shirt where the arrow had gone through his side just below his ribs, the hunter knowing that if it had been an inch or two higher, he could potentially be dead. He ripped one of his sleeves off and wrapped it around his midsection to help stabilize the arrow, looking around in the dim light to see if he could find his crossbow. "God fucking damn it," Daryl said, getting to his feet and picking up a stick.

It took forever to scour the bottom of the pond, Daryl ending up chest-deep in the murky water before he found the bow. He threw it over his back and mustered up all of his strength to start climbing back up the steep ridge, using the stick to help push him upwards. Daryl knew he had to ignore the pain from the arrow pierced him through, but when it overwhelmed him, he lost his grip on the earth and tumbled backwards toward the pond.

The hunter closed his eyes as he laid on the silt-shore, spread out from where he had hit, and allowed himself to become utterly defeated.

* * *

"Where would he have started searching from," Rick asked as the men surrounded the map on the hood of the pickup, looking at Evan. She ran her fingers back through her hair and sighed, trying to think as Daryl would have, "I don't know, probably from the last place we searched in town? It wouldn't make sense to go back to where she went missing, would it? I'm not a hunter Rick."

"Then we'll start in town. She would have needed supplies just like us," Shane decided, James looking at his friend.

He coaxed her away from the others and stood with his hand on her back, speaking quietly so that no one else could hear. "Evan, I can look at you and know that you're not going to be okay going out with us to look for him. You have done nothing to help yourself in the last few hours and you are most likely making yourself sick to the point you start manifesting physically. Go and rest-" She pushed him away from her and glared at him, her eyes bright with unshed tears.

"You are going to back off, James and let me do what I have to. Anything I can't handle is my business and I am not going to let it or you stop me," she replied through her teeth, James sighing and shaking his head. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her back towards the truck, the group mapping out where they would search.

Evan was ready before anyone else was, pulling on a black Henley with the sleeves rolled up and lightweight cargo pants tucked into her boots. The twins watched her as she pulled her hair up into a ponytail, Kennedy chewing on her bottom lip, "Mom, you don't look so good…" Evan pulled a hand over her face and shook her head, moving to load her pistol. "I'll be fine." She kissed both of their forehead's, ruffling Jude's hair as she started towards the truck. "Take care of each other and watch your sister. If Daryl shows up before we do, somebody slap the spit out of his fucking mouth for me," she said as she climbed into the bed of the truck.

"She shouldn't be going out there."

"What," Carol asked, turning to look at Lori curiously. The younger woman's hands were clasped at her face, her fingers pressed at her lips as she shook her head, "Something isn't right here, Carol. I feel… I feel it inside."

As the group left the farm to search for him, Daryl came around again, the sunlight filtering through the trees to fall across his face. He opened his eyes to the sun before it was blocked out by a familiar face, Daryl drawing back at the sight of his long lost older brother.

"Wake up sleeping beauty," Merle Dixon teased cruelly, laughing roughly in a way that only he could.

"Merle, what the fuck are ya doing out here?"

Daryl looked up at his brother as he straightened up, shaking his head, "Question is, what the fuck are you doing out here? You're going to die out here, little brother- and for what?" The younger Dixon tried to breathe against the building pressure in his chest, glaring at him defiantly. "I'm looking for Carol's little girl," Daryl replied, moving to re-secure the arrow protruding out of his chest.

"Oh yeah, you can come out here and risk your life, waste your time looking for a little girl, but you can't even look for good old Merle. But that's just 'cause you're playing comrades with the rest of 'your' group, acting like their little bitch," Merle laughed in reply, the hunter narrowing his eyes as he tried to get his mentally-exhausted mind ready for his next attempt to escape. "I ain't nobody's bitch," Daryl growled out, watching his brother shake his head and rub his brow. "You're a fucking joke, is what you are. Playing errand boy to a bunch of pansy-asses, niggers and democrats. One of these days, they're going to scrape you off their heels like you was dog shit. They ain't your kin and ain't nobody gonna care about you except me." Daryl propped himself up on an elbow, disagreeing adamantly with his brother, "Rick and I went back for ya but ya were so goddamn bullheaded, ya had already bailed!"

Merle held up his hand and glared down at Daryl, practically spitting his words. "Can't believe that you're talking about the same Rick who locked me up on a roof and made me chop off my own hand: this is only a figment of your imagination. After you get up, you go back there and shoot your pal Rick in the face for me! They ain't even out here looking for you, because you don't mean a damn to them- now get up 'fore I kick your teeth in!"

His brother disappeared then and Daryl moved to look around to where he had gone, before feeling something clawing at his leg. "Jesus fucking Christ," he shouted loudly, responding to the unexpected danger by stabbing the walker- a walker who had clawed its way up from the bottom of the pond- right in the eye with the closest sliver of wood he could get his hands on.

Another haunting moan caught his attention as the walker approached from the tree line, Daryl scrambling to get his crossbow. He knew that he didn't have any arrows and so he gripped the shaft of the one in his side, letting out a bellow as he pulled it through. Daryl braced his feet on the handholds on the bow and pulled the string back to cock it, loading the arrow in as best he could with pain-numbed fingers. He panted from adrenaline as he shot the walker, its heavy body falling onto his chest before he pushed it off with a grunt.

The hunter got to his feet shakily and yanked the arrow out of the walker's head, putting it back into his bow.

"He's right you know."

Daryl turned around to see Evan standing in front of him, clad in a tight white tank top and a pair of skinny jeans tucked into boots, ankle-deep in the water. "You need to get yourself out if here," she said seriously, eyeing him just as evenly.

"You're not out of danger yet."

He eyed her almost suspiciously, Evan looking at him as she walked towards him and stopped just short of resting her hand over his wound. "You need to put pressure on this- you've been actively bleeding for hours and while it's probably only a small nick to the artery, you'll pass out sooner or later if you don't stop it. Take off your undershirt and wrap it around you to stem the bleeding," she said, stepping back as he did just that. Daryl kept his eyes on the illusion, trying not to think whether or not the blood loss was causing him to hallucinate. "Does the real Evan know this stuff, or is it just me telling it to myself?" Her face was blank, arms moving to fold across her chest, "I'm a part of you, Daryl. I know what you know."

When the wound was covered, he looked around, trying to see if he could find some berries to eat. Instead he hit a squirrel on the fly, seeing it about half a second before he had caught it with the lucky arrow.

Evan watched quietly as he ate it raw before looking at the sky, seeing how far the sun had moved across in the course of the day. "You promised." He looked at her and sighed, nodding, "This is the only promise that will ever be broken between us, I swear," Daryl replied softly, knowing that he was only talking to himself but meaning every word he spoke.

Seeming content with that, her eyes turned to the ridge, Evan moving away from him. "You smell like food- to the geeks, at least. You barely took down the two of them here, and as good as you are with a crossbow, I doubt you'll get lucky for a third time trying to defend yourself. You have to mask your scent, like you used to do when you hunted recreationally. And they don't go after each other," she noted, Daryl looking down at the walkers.

He pulled out his knife and made his way down onto a knee, hacking away as shook his head, "Yer smart for a hallucination."

"I know."


	23. I've Got You

Evan closed her eyes as the truck jostled and rocked her, her fingers pressed to her lips. Shane and Glenn watched her carefully, both sitting as far away from her as space allotted. Her face was pale and the rest of her was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, the young woman trying to keep her shit together in front of the men. She didn't need anyone else thinking that she wasn't fit to be away from the camp like the other women, especially not the two assholes staring in her face.

"She's gonna hurl," Glenn whispered, seeing Evan lift her head with a glare.

The truck came to a stop and she was the first one out, happy to have her feet on solid ground once again. The other men came to stand beside her, looking at the deserted town before them, "Let's get to it then."

James and Evan pared off together, moving towards a small row of houses just by the welcome sign into town, the two searching for any signs of the missing hunter. "Hey, I need to talk to you about something," the young man said, Evan ignoring him.

"I'm kind of busy right now."

"Evan, I heard Shane and Rick talking early about all of the shit going on with Hershel and searching for this kid. Hershel wants us gone and you know that, even if you stepped away from the politics of the group. And Shane thinks that we should stop wasting our time searching from Sophia, that Rick's good intentions are making us weaker. There's a coup that's gonna happen sooner or later- you have to get ready to lead the group again," James murmured, looking at his friend and seeing her eyes narrow slightly.

She moved to look into the windows of the first house, sighing quietly, "I'm not leading anybody, Jaime. I have more important things to think about now."

"Oh, like Daryl," he asked scathingly, Evan turning around to glare at him. "Because it doesn't seem unreasonable at all to have six people away from the safety of camp to search for one man-"

Evan slugged him without a second thought about it, James falling back through the front door of the small house. She shook out the pain in her hand as she looked at him, speaking through her teeth angrily. "How about you keep your fucking mouth shut when it comes to me and Daryl, alright? Or else you're going to be falling through a lot more doors around here James… Now get the fuck up," she said callously, her friend getting to his feet before rubbing his jaw.

The two of them made their way through the house, silent as Evan called out quietly to Daryl.

She didn't get a response, but heard someone groan in the bathroom, almost like they were in pain. "Evan, you know that's a walker," James hissed angrily as her hand went to the knob.

"Or he could be holed up in here hurt, too."

Evan opened the door and was hit by the overwhelming smell of decomposition, turning away from the bathroom. "Yeah, that's a fucking walker." She hit the stairs as James dispatched the walker, disappearing from the house back outside. When he caught up to her, he shoved her shoulder, his breath coming quickly, "What the hell was that Evan? You just fling open a fucking door and let a walker come at me while you run-"

He paused as he took a look at her leaning against the railing on the porch, her eyes closed and her face more pale than he had thought her capable of.

"Hey, Evan. Hey are you alright? Baby, talk to me," James said, reaching out to her just as she moved to throw up over the side of the porch. She braced her hands on the banister and tried to catch her breath, keeping her back to him. "I'm sorry James, the smell just got to me." He stared at the way she hung her head, seeing how hard it was for her to stay on her feet, "It's never gotten to you before."

"Yeah, well I wasn't thinking of how it could be him then, was I," Evan replied before feeling the rest of her breakfast come up, throwing up into the bushes. James took one last look at her and wrapped his hand around her bicep, hauling her back to the truck. He called for the others even as she resisted his hold on her, trying her best to fight him off in her momentarily weakened state. "Let go of me," she shouted, James shaking her one to get her attention before glaring at her. "I'm taking you back to the farm Evan. I'll look for the son of a bitch myself, but you're staying with the girls while I do!"

The rest of the men watched him place her in the passenger side of the cab and break the lock, hearing her screech angrily after she was unable to fight him tooth and nail any longer. "You do not control me," Evan screamed at the top of her lungs, trying to climb out of the window as she refused to listen to reason. "I promised Danny that I would look out for you even when you won't do it yourself," James shouted in reply, seeing her eyes start to brim with tears. "Danny is dead! He is dead James and he doesn't make decisions for me anymore! You are not responsible for me-"

"And you are not as strong as you like to think," the former soldier said through his teeth, his hands balling into his fists at his side. "You may have been a soldier, but you were still a woman in a man's world- and you are a woman in a man's world now. So shut your fucking mouth and get yourself ready to go back to the farm, Evan. Because you're running around with all the bravado of a man and all the weakness of a woman who's emotionally fucked, and all you're gonna do is get your dumbass killed!"

She was taken aback by his words, slumping back into her seat as he moved around the car.

James threw his shotgun into the bed of the truck and glared at the rest of the search group, "Get in the truck."

When they got back to camp, Evan got out and started to storm off, James catching up to her with ease. "Get the fuck off of me," she said even as he pulled her around to face him, refusing to meet his eyes. "You know I only said that misogynistic bullshit to shut you up long enough to bring you back to where you were safe." She set her jaw and looked away from him, shaking her head, "I don't give a fuck- we're better than that, Jaime."

"Ev, I'm just trying to help you out-"

She scoffed and pulled her arm away, finally looking at him. "You think that this is helping me? You talking shit to me and making me look weak in front of the others? No, the only way you would be of any use to me now is if you pointed me in the right direction of where my man is," Evan replied bluntly before walking off away from the others.

* * *

"You should have been had yourself up this ridge."

Daryl looked up at his slightly annoying hallucination, Evan leaning up against a tree just a few feet from the top of the ridge. He only wrapped his hand around a small tree and pulled himself upwards, thankful to find that it supported his weight, "Yer a piece of shit, woman. Instead of helping me, yer criticizing me."

"I'm your woman," she smirked evenly, starting to walk up the face of the ridge with ease. "I'm supposed to nag the fuck out of you."

"Yer pushing me, ya know exactly what yer doing: trying to make me angry enough that I try and prove you wrong by getting to the top of this fucking land," Daryl snapped in reply, clawing the earth to pull himself another inch up the ridge. "I push you because I love you." He looked at her, his chest heaving as she smiled, moving to sit up on the flat land and stare down at him.

Daryl only shook his head, continuing his climb, "This is me just talking crazy to myself. This is just my own mind trying to defeat me-" She extended a hand towards him, meeting his eyes with the most sincere look in her own. The hallucination was so close that if he had only reached out, he could have touched her… "You know that that's a lie, Daryl. I wouldn't have put you through so much or made you swear up and down not to leave me if I didn't love you. And me being here is only proof that no matter way, I could never leave your heart or your mind. Now grab my hand. Grab my hand!"

He threw his hand up and met the ground, pulling himself over the lip of the ridge, collapsing on the ground. His vision of Evan was gone, but her words were not, the hunter catching his breath for all of a minute before getting to his feet.

There was somewhere he had to be…

Evan looked up as she heard someone coming up behind her, Lori reaching out to touch her shoulder before moving to stand beside her. "Rick told me what happened," she said simply, the former soldier shaking her head.

"Have you told Rick about you being pregnant yet?"

"This isn't about me-"

Lori paused as she looked at Evan, searching her eyes before she crossed her arms over her chest. "I heard Glenn talking to Dale after you all got back. The kid actually had the nerve to say that all the women are acting weird around camp and that he read somewhere once that when we- as the womenfolk- spend a lot of time together, our cycles line up. But I think it's something more than that," the older woman said, seeing her friend shaking her head and sigh. "Andrea's wanting to be taken more seriously around camp- heard her talking to Dale about not wanting to 'wash clothes' like the other defenseless women anymore. She's keeping watch, pulling an Annie fucking Oakley routine on top of the RV… Carol's kid is gone, probably dead, and so she shouldn't be expected to be normal or whatever. If Maggie's acting weird, its only because she and Glenn have been screwing each other and you? You take the cake for having 'something more than that', Lori," Evan replied with a smirk, moving to pull a cigarette out of her pocket.

"And you?"

The younger woman looked at the cigarette in her hand before throwing it away, shaking her head, "I've got my own shit and it's none of your business. We're not girlfriends- we don't sit over mojitos and talk about how shitty our lives are with our white picket fences and our 2.5 kids."

"You know, if there's anyone on this goddamn farm that understands what you've been through and what you're going through, its me. I'll be around whenever you decide to talk," Lori said as she turned away from Evan and started back towards where the others stood. The former soldier watched her retreat before sighing, looking at where Rick was standing alone. She moved to join him, the woman reaching up to let her hair down as she stood in front of him. They were quiet for a moment before Rick sighed and folded his arms across his chest, Evan shaking her head.

Her stomach seemed to churn ominously as she thought about how much vital time had elapsed, the woman trying not to become sick again- she didn't even want to think the words, much less say them. "It's been almost twenty-four hours now, Rick. And I'm starting to… I'm starting to think he's not even coming back. I mean, I just got him and now he's been taken away from me," she whispered, turning her eyes away from him. "Evan, if there's anyone who could survive out there, its-" She looked up as she heard Andrea stand rather loudly on her perch, the woman holding her hat down as she pointed out across the open fields to the woods, "Walker! I bet I can nail him from here!"

She held her hand up to shield her eyes from the sun, fear wrapping itself tightly around Evan's heart. "Jesus Christ." Rick ordered Andrea to put the shotgun down, Shane backing him up with his own orders, "You best let us handle this."

"Hershel wants to deal with walkers on his land- you know we're not supposed to be toting weapons like this," Rick said as the woman moved to brandish her pistol. Evan didn't want to hear anything that he had to say, running towards the lurching figure. If it was- no, she couldn't let herself think that. She pushed her way to the front of the group, almost hysteric at the face she saw glaring at her.

"No! Rick… that's Daryl! That's Daryl," Evan screamed, stopping in her tracks as the others moved to catch up with her. "No Daryl, no…"

He turned towards the sound of her voice, eyes like ice staring out of a mud-covered face as they narrowed. "What the hell are ya cryin' for," he asked gruffly, her heart seeming to burst at the fact that he wasn't dead.

"Daryl Dixon, are you goddamn crazy or just stupid? Lurching out of the woods like a fucking walker-"

She quieted as he snapped at her, the hunter sneering at her, "I told ya I was coming back. And I'm back, ain't I? And that's the third fucking time ya have pointed that thing at my head. Ya gonna pull the trigger or what, woman?" Evan moved closer with a half a mind to slug him and kiss him after, a shot ringing out in the distance.

It was almost as if time slowed, the bullet tearing along the side of Daryl's head, his entire body crumpling at her feet. She dropped her gun and moved to catch him, letting out an agonized wail. "No!" Evan cradled him against her chest, shouting for Hershel as she rocked back and forth. She kissed Daryl's face repeatedly, refusing to let him go when Rick and Shane moved to lift him from her arms. "I was kidding Evan," Daryl muttered before he went unconscious, the woman hysterical as she held on to him for dear life. "Oh God," she moaned out, her hands wrapped up in his shirt and her face pressed to his forehead.

"Let him go now," Shane said, wrestling her hands away. "I got you- I've got you."

The others who had run at the sound of the gunshot finally reached the group, Evan allowing her legs to go out from underneath her as she collapsed, looking on in disbelief as the earth became saturated with blood.


	24. Shouldn't Love You

"Put pressure on him," James said as Glenn pulled off his outer shirt and moved to hold it to Daryl's gunshot wound. Evan's bottom lip quivered from her attempts to keep quiet, looking at him, seeing how badly he was hurt. When Glenn gasped everyone looked at him, seeing his shaking hand point to the macabre necklace Daryl was wearing, "Are those geek ears?"

She reached out and snatched them from around his neck, tossing them into the tall grass.

"What are y'all standing around for? We have to get him to the house."

Evan held his hand as Rick and Shane moved to carry him to the house, James holding the shirt to Daryl's head. She was silent, running with them into the house and up to the first empty bedroom. Hershel moved to take over in his care, looking at all of the people in the room, "James, I need you to help me. The rest of you need to leave and give me room to work-"

"I'm staying," Evan replied quietly, the doctor shaking his head at her fierce gaze.

"You're not going to be of any good to me in shock. Leave, Evan- for him."

Rick followed after her when she walked out of the door she threw open with a bang, Evan marching right towards where the others stood around camp. Coldly and in a calculated fashion, she pulled the gun on her hip and loaded it, raising it angrily.

"Who shot him," Evan asked thickly, trying to keep herself from crying as she held her gun tightly. When no one responded, she raised it higher, pointing it Glenn, then Maggie. "Was it you? Or was it-"

"It was me."

Andrea stepped up and swallowed, looking at the distraught woman. "He was limping and covered in blood, gore- from where I was, I thought he was a walker. I just took the shot-"

"Evan," Rick barked sharply, the woman hearing the click of his pistol as he loaded a round into the chamber- a chamber that was currently level with her head. Evan lowered her gun and walked towards Andrea, malice in her every word, "I'm not going to kill you… yet. But I fucking swear to you Andrea, if he dies, I'm going to take you out to that fucking field and put a goddamn bullet in your head like you did his."

She then turned her back on the group, moving towards her tent where she heard Jude crying. Evan moved to take her from Carter, looking at Kennedy. "What happened out there? I heard you screaming… screaming for Daryl," the young girl said, searching her mother's eyes. She only shook her head and cradled her youngest daughter, kissing Jude's head as she attempted to calm her, "He's going to be fine girls. He has to be."

There was a scream from the house that made her head spin, Evan knowing that voice better than her own when it uttered a steady stream of curses.

"He's awake!"

At the sound of that second shout, Evan worked her way out of the tent and ran towards the house, taking the steps two at a time. Carol was waiting in the foyer and blocked her, seeing the half-crazed look in her eyes. "Here, give me the baby Evan. Go on up and see him," she said knowingly, the older woman taking Jude from her. She didn't even think twice about relinquishing her daughter to Carol's care, moving up to the bedroom where she could hear Daryl fighting the others.

"Bring me my woman right now and get the fuck off of me!"

He paused from shoving James off of him when the door opened, Evan standing there with eyes that were only from him. "Hey, hey. Calm down, hunter," she said soothingly, moving to sit on the bed beside him and cupping his cheek in her hand. "Settle down and stop fighting them- they're trying to help you." He glared at her before allowing Hershel to tend to him, setting his jaw as the old man started to stitch up the side of his head.

Daryl looked at the expression on her face and hated it- she looked so… vulnerable.

"Ya cried when ya thought I was dead," Daryl muttered, the woman folding her arms across her chest.

"Yeah, I realized just how lonely the nights would be without you," Evan replied in kind as she tried to make light of the situation, seeing him smirk. "Is that all I'm good for?" Evan leaned in to whisper, trying not to make Hershel or James uncomfortable, "No baby, you're the best."

Daryl rolled his eyes and looked down at his stomach wound, knowing that for at least a few days, he couldn't indulge in her as much as he wanted to at the moment. "You can stay with me tonight," he finally grunted, the woman settling back to scoff. "You act like I was actually planning on leaving your side. No Dixon, I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

Rick cleared his throat and looked at Daryl, holding up the doll they had found strapped to his hip.

"That's Sophia's- she must have dropped it cross the creek somewhere. That cuts the search grid at least in half," the hunter said, seeing the hope light up in the other man's eyes. Shane only shook his head and scoffed, moving to cross his arms over his chest, "The doll's no sign that she's still alive."

"And it's no sign that she's dead," Daryl snapped in reply, flinching away as the doctor hit a particularly sensitive part of his head. "We'll keep looking."

Shane and Rick left then, James finishing his work on Daryl's side before handing a cotton pad and a roll of gauze to his friend. "I trust that you'll wrap him up well after you get him cleaned up a bit," he asked, Evan nodding. Maggie came up with a large bowl of hot water and a few small towels just as her father tied the last stitch on Daryl's head, the hunter wincing as he did so.

They were left alone only a little while later, Evan looking at him before stroking his hair lovingly. "Hey let me get your pants and shoes off and I'll get you cleaned up," she murmured, moving to help him undress. Daryl let his body go limp as she started to wet the towels and wash the previous day's grime away from him, the woman working silently. He watched her take care of him, seeing how dedicated she was in helping tend to him as best she could.

"I'll get you clothes when you go to sleep," she murmured as she dried her hands, her eyes flashing up to meet his. He only reached out to cup her face in his hand, seeing her worry with his bottom lip as she tried not to cry. She steadied herself with a breath before speaking, seeing his gaze flicker back and forth between her eyes and mouth. "I'm only gonna tell you this once and I mean it Daryl: if you ever pull a stupid stunt like that again, I'll kill you myself. You ever disappear like that again, I'll hunt you down and put a bullet between your eyes."

Daryl cleared his throat and looked at her evenly, "Ya were really worried, then."

"I thought we- I thought that I lost you."

He brought her face to his and kissed her, pressing all of his love for her into it as he attempted to tell her what he couldn't say in words. "I ain't going nowhere. Promise," Daryl said after they had broken apart for air, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

Evan started to cry then, comfortable enough with him to allow herself a moment of weakness. He only held her that much closer and pressed his face to her hair, silently thanking whatever God had seen him through the darkness.

"I promise baby, I do."

* * *

Evan listened to the people moving around downstairs, knowing that they were having dinner without them. She looked down at Daryl and sighed, thankful that he was safe and relatively unharmed as compared to what could have been.

She heard footsteps on the stairs and straightened up, someone knocking on the door. "Come in," Evan said, Rick poking his head into the room.

He had wanted to check on Daryl and he wasn't surprised to see the grown man wrapped about the midsection of Evan like a child, smirking as she turned to look at him. Her hand was in Daryl's hair, the other resting on the arm that encircled her hips, the woman smiling at Rick almost smugly.

"Y'all need anything," he asked, seeing Daryl move restlessly in his sleep.

"No, we're good," Evan murmured with a smile, stroking her lover's hair. "He's sleeping, finally."

He looked back over his shoulder into the hallway before moving inside and sitting down on the stool beside the bed, sighing. "Did he tell you what the hell he was doing with a necklace of walker ears, covered in blood and dirt like that," Rick asked quietly, the woman shaking her head. She reached up to tuck her hair behind her ear, inhaling deeply, "He's still searching for her. Whatever happened out there, whatever he went through was because he was searching for Sophia. And I can already tell, this is only going to keep happening until we find her… And I don't think that I can keep doing this with him-"

"Watch it now, Evan. I'd be careful if I were you because he might just get his head out of his ass and realize you love him…"

He bid them goodnight and Evan moved to lay down beside Daryl, resting so that they were face to face. She watched him sleep for awhile before he started to stir again, smiling more to herself than to him. "What? Ya staring at me now? I ain't a sideshow attraction," he grumbled out when he opened his eyes, seeing her roll her eyes.

"No, you're a sarcastic piece of shit."

Daryl cracked a smile before moving to thread his fingers through her hair, sighing quietly, "I missed ya." She nodded in agreement before moving to press her lips against his, holding him close and sighing. "Yeah, I missed you too Daryl… If it wasn't for the fear of ripping stitches, I would have had you by now," Evan admitted, throwing a leg over his to pull him closer.

He moved to press his fingers into her thigh, his voice quiet as she traced the lines of his arm lightly.

In all truth, he would have been a liar to say that if it wasn't for Evan, he could have died without a heavy conscious in that field. Life was hard on this side of the apocalypse and he didn't have anyone he had to live for… but in all truth, he wanted to live for the sole reason of being with her.

Evan obliged him as he slid an arm up her back underneath her shirt and drew her closer, the two practically touching by that point. She ran a thumb over his lips and swallowed, trying to keep the unexpected tears that had sprung up in her eyes at bay, "We… need to talk this shit out. Once and for all Daryl." She stroked back his shaggy hair, refusing to meet his eyes as she tried to find the words. "You know, I never meant to… but somewhere along the way, I fell in love with you. And I know that the world's gone to hell and I know that you've made it clear about what you want, Daryl, but even though I shouldn't- I love you. I realized that last night when I started losing my mind with worry and grief as I waited for you to come back. And I realized that I didn't want to live without you in my life: really, I just want to be with you. And I know that I don't have anything to give you-"

"Shut up."

His eyes searched hers before he gripped the back of her neck, bringing her lips down to his and kissing her roughly. "Ya don't have to give me nothing but yer self. That's all I want… I love ya," Daryl said tentatively, feeling her fingers pressinginto his face.

"Say it again," Evan whispered, her lips hovering over his.

"I love ya, Evan Harper. I love ya with every inch of me."

She wrapped her arms around him and squeezed as much as she could without hurting him, speaking into his ear quietly, "And I love you."


	25. We Should Run While We Can

She woke before he did, looking down at her man before sighing contentedly.

Daryl had slept rather peacefully after they had talked, Evan following after him into unconsciousness at some undetermined point in the night. Now, she got out of bed and moved to leave the house, wanting to get cleaned up and changed before Daryl got to moving around.

Andrea intercepted her at the first chance, standing outside Evan's tent as she changed, "Hey, can I talk to you?"

"I have nothing to say to you, bitch."

"Evan, I didn't mean to shoot him- I thought I was protecting the camp! I mean- shit, everyone's wanted to take a crack at Daryl at some point or another," Andrea said, her voice faltering as the woman rounded on her. Evan was menacing even as she bent down to play with her daughter, her eyes on the woman who had taken it upon herself to pull the trigger and nearly shatter her world, "Look, if you know what's good for you Andrea, you'll stay the fuck away from me and my family- Daryl included. You nearly killed him and accident or not, I'm still pissed. Now go away."

The blonde walked away from her as Evan lifted Jude into her arms, kissing her baby lovingly and moving towards where Carol was cooking. She was helpful in making a plate for the toddler, both of the women looking up at Glenn as he walked over.

"Hey, Evan?"

She eyed him carefully and shifted Jude's weight, curious of what he had to ask- it wasn't like they were friends or anything. "Do you mind if I talk to you privately for a second," Glenn questioned, seeming unable to meet her penetrating eyes as he wrung his baseball cap in his hands. Evan sighed and motioned to Jude with her head, "I'm kind of busy right now, kid. And I really should get back to the house…"

"I can fed her, if you want," Lori said as she returned from feeding the animals with the girls and Carl trailing behind her, her son finally back on her feet. Evan hesitated for a moment before handing over her child, looking at Lori and giving a squinty-eyed half smile. "Thank you," the former soldier murmured as she stepped away with Glenn, resting her hands on her hips.

They were quiet as the young man kicked at the dirt, clearing his throat repeatedly before finding his voice. "I had to tell somebody- somebody I knew would do something about it. I mean, I thought about going to Rick but he's been so aloof when it comes to Hershel and staying on the farm. Trying not to step on any toes, I guess… And Shane; well, he's Shane and he doesn't do well with handling potential dangers-"

"Dangers," Evan questioned sharply, cutting him off and taking a step towards him. "Glenn, what do you know? I can't help you unless you talk to me and if there's something here that puts our people in danger, I need to know about it. My man's already hurt and I can't have anything else happening to my girls."

Glenn glanced over his shoulder at the furthest barn, exhaling quietly, "You know Maggie and I have been… intimate. And last night I invited her to meet me in the loft, not knowing exactly what I was walking into. She tried to keep me from looking, but she was too late: I had already seen the walkers."

Her blood seemed to run cold as she took a minute to allow his words to sink in, trying to rationalize why anyone would keep corpses so close to their home. "You mean to tell me that the Greenes are keeping goddamn walkers in the barn," she asked in disbelief, Glenn turning back to her and nodding seriously. Evan exhaled and rubbed her temples, pacing in a circle for a few moments. "What did Maggie say?" He was quiet for a moment before allowing his eyes to flicker up to hers, the young man shaking his head.

"Just that I wasn't supposed to see it."

Glenn looked like a little kid as he waited for Evan to proceed, the woman moving to place her hands on his shoulders. "Look, just don't think about it- I'll talk to Rick and Hershel when we get the chance, and we'll deal with it. Act as if nothing has change so that the others don't worry and stay the fuck away from Maggie. I don't trust anyone who keeps walkers on their property without good reason," she murmured before hearing someone walking past. She and Glenn both turned to look at Dale, the older man holding their gaze for a moment before he walked away.

"Shit," Glenn whispered furiously, running his fingers back through his hair. Evan only shook her head and caught his attention again, making sure to impress her words upon him, "Remember what I said Glenn. Don't get yourself in trouble."

They parted then and Evan went to sit on the porch, trying to gather her thoughts.

She was almost there when a hand rested on her shoulder, the woman flinching as Rick stumbled back and threw his hands up in the air. "Hey! It's just me- no guns?" Evan tried to slow her heartbeat as she nodded, exhaling in a huff.

"You scared the shit out of me Sheriff," she said heavily, Rick moving to sit down in the wicker chair next to her own.

"Didn't mean to. I wasn't expecting you to be away from Daryl and then you were out here looking like you were praying… Thought you could use a friend," Rick replied as he looked at the rest of their group moving around the farm. Evan settled back in her chair and kicked her feet up on the porch railing, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ears. "What are we doing Rick?"

He looked at her as if to question what she was talking about, the woman sighing and gesturing to the farm, "What are we doing here Rick? We're here, squatting on this man's land and it's clear that he doesn't want us here, so why isn't our shit packed already? It's not like we can just live in a bunch of tents forever and I don't plan on being an indentured servant for Hershel just to have a… safe place to sleep."

"We have to give Hershel his space if he's going to change his mind-"

Evan scoffed and shook her head, her wild curls bouncing almost angrily. "That's not any kind of a plan, Rick. You and I are who these people look to- to come up with what to do next. And I'm not about to just let us sit around without an endgame in mind." He leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees, sighing heavily as he tried not to let his emotions get in the way of his head, "This is the first safe place we've had, all of us together. I don't want to leave Evan, but if I have to, my first priority is Lori and Carl. We have to get to somewhere we can have lives and not worry constantly about our mortality-"

"Death is an ever present reality- there is no getting away from that, no matter where you are."

* * *

"Stop wiggling, Daryl."

He sighed and tried not to let the almost unbearable pressure of her fingers get to him, feeling how sensitive the stitches were in his side. Evan finished applying the hydrogen peroxide to disinfect the wound, re-bandaging it and pressing a light kiss to the cotton square. "There, all done. It's ridiculous how much you act like one of my youngings, having to kiss your 'boo-boos' and 'ouchies' so that you'll stop complaining," she teased lovingly, moving to take off her gloves and tossing the cotton balls she had used on him in the trash.

"Yer fucking awful, ya know. Can't ever just… be around ya without having to hear some bullshit about it. All I wanna do is lay here and be in pain and act like Carl," the hunter said as he rolled over to lay on his stomach, fluffing a pillow up underneath his head. She grinned and moved to kiss his cheek, rolling her eyes, "That's just as well- I mean, I was having fun playing doctor, but if you insist on whining and being pitiful…"

"Oh, so ya wanna play doctor-"

They went silent at the sound of a knock on the door, Evan's cheeks flushing as she thought of someone having heard their last few words. "Yes," she said, the door opening as Daryl pulled up the covers. Carol stood with two plates in her hands, eyeing the couple for a moment. "You didn't come down to get any food so I thought I would bring some up for the both of y'all- chicken and potatoes," the woman said tentatively, giving Evan a plate before turning on Daryl. She sighed and swallowed, trying not to let her emotions overcome her. "I just wanted to thank you for what you did, looking for Sophia and all."

Carol handed him the plate and leaned over to kiss his bandaged head, neither she or Daryl noticing the way Evan's eyes narrowed slightly. In any situation, he rebuffed her, grumbling underneath his breath, "Watch out for my stitches, Carol."

"I'm serious Daryl; you did more for my little girl in a day than her own daddy ever did for her in his whole life," she replied, taking a step back as he continued to try and deflect her unwanted praises. "I didn't do anything Rick or Shane wouldn't have done," Daryl said, picking up his fork and moving to poke at his mashed potatoes.

"I know. You're every bit as good as them."

His eyes flickered up when she patted his knee and walked away, the hunter staring at the closed door for a moment. Daryl looked at Evan when she cleared her throat, seeing her sitting cross-legged by his feet with her arms crossed over her chest.

He already knew what she was going to ask before she even opened her mouth, cutting her off shortly, "Ya ain't got nothing to worry about with me and Carol, darling. I was just there when she was going through… a rough patch with her old man."

"So that starry-eyed way she was looking at you was completely and utterly innocent?"

Daryl cut his eyes at her and set his mouth, challenging her almost silently before he spoke. "And the way Jaime is always 'covering' yer ass ain't," he questioned, moving to flick his hair out of his eyes. "We shouldn't be fucking worried about what did or didn't happen with other people before us. We're together, don't question that or me, alright?" She debated for a moment before relaxing, dropping her arms and nodding, "Alright, alright. I didn't want to cause a fight Daryl, I was just having a moment of female indignation- now go on and eat your food."

"Ya eat yer food."

"Not hungry," Evan replied as she moved to set the food down on the nightstand before moving to sit beside him, both of them propped up against the headboard.

They were quiet until after Daryl finished eating, the man moving to rest his head on her shoulder. She kissed his bandages lightly before sighing, reaching down to intertwine their fingers. "You know, I love you right," the former soldier asked quietly, hearing him chuckle. He looked up at her before pressing his lips to hers, pulling away after a few moments and nodding, "Yeah, I do." Evan was quiet once more, taking the time to reach up and run her fingers through her curls, shaking her head.

"I think that we should leave, you, me and the girls. I don't know if the others would come and I really don't want them to have to make that decision just to keep everyone together… but when it comes to us, I think its what's best."

Daryl looked at her eyes and saw how serious they were, cupping her chin in his hand. "What's wrong? Did someone here do something to ya or the girls while I was gone," he asked almost harshly, his protective nature over her going into overdrive. Evan pressed her hands over his and shook her head, trying to diffuse his anger. "No, Daryl, no one hurt me- nothing happened to us. I'm just saying that we should start thinking about… our future, and whether or not the farm's really as safe as we think it is," Evan replied, worrying with her bottom lip as she waited for him to speak next.

"Ya know something, Harper," Daryl said plainly- it wasn't a question, because he knew enough about her and dancing around a topic of conversation definitely meant she was holding back something she didn't want to say.

She hesitated before nodding to confirm his observation, pulling his hands down into her lap, "Hershel and his family are keeping walkers in one of the barns."

"Are ya fucking kidding me?"

"I wish I was," Evan said solemnly, before jumping to her feet as Daryl worked his way out of bed. It was obvious his three-day old wound was still bothering him with the way he moved and winced in pain, but he didn't say anything about it, reaching down to tug on his pants. "What the hell are you doing Dixon? You're about to bust your fucking stitches!" He only glared at her and moved to unwrap the bandage from around his head, speaking through his teeth, "Ya just told me that the very things trying to kill and eat us are living less than a few hundred yards away from ya and our girls and our people! So I'm going to go and get them and we're getting the hell out of here-"

She blocked his way as he tried to head for the door, Daryl standing over top of her almost menacingly. "Move outta my way." Evan placed her hands on her hips and planted her feet firmly where she stood, her jaw set. "Then make me move- you don't fucking scare me Daryl," she replied forcefully, seeing the way his eyes moved as he tried to find a way out of fighting with her.

When he relented, she eased out of her firm stance, looking at him and nodding. "Now that you've taken a step back, you should really listen to what I have to say… We are not in any immediate danger as far as I can tell: the barn is secure and it has been since we've been here. We have time to work out a concrete plan of action, which is a lot better than going off half-cocked, Dixon. I am going to talk to Rick about the barn when the time is right. He's still trying to work with Hershel to let us stay here- and for him and his family, I think that's best, especially with Lori being pregnant-"

"Olive Oyl's gone and got herself knocked the fuck up? Shit, does Shane know? Hell, does Rick know," Daryl questioned, seeing his woman's eyebrows nearly fly up into her hairline. "Lori slept with Shane? He's her husband's best friend- wait, how in the hell could they find the time to sneak off without anyone seeing them," Evan shot back, Daryl moving to sit back on the edge of the bed. He just shook his head and gestured for her to continue, "That's a long story and we're getting off track."

"Right," she agreed, taking a breath before finishing what she was saying. "As I was saying, they have a reason to say and Carol most likely won't leave without finding out what happened to her daughter. Most of them have one good reason to stay, but us? I have you and my babies and that's all that matters. I'm fine living on the road."

Daryl didn't seem fine though, his eyes narrowing and his lips drawing into a thin line. She moved to stand in front of him, looking at the hardened expression on his face, "Babe?" He pulled his hips towards him and pressed his face into her midsection, holding onto her for a few moments. When he released her, Daryl met her eyes and shook his head. "Ya might be okay with living out there and taking chances with yer own life, but I'm not okay with that. I don't even want to think about us being on the road and me being unable to protect ya or the girls. Look at me and listen to me when I say that I don't want to lose ya, woman… Ya need to talk to Rick and the both of ya need to talk to Hershel about fixing our living situation. Plain and short, the walkers have to go: we have to stay." Evan moved to cup his cheeks in her hands, shaking her head and sighing. "We could have our own farm Daryl."

"People need people- ya said it yer self. I go out and I get the food, I help chop wood, I wrangle the kids when ya need me to, I help protect the group. Ya are the one making the good decisions here, keeping people alive, helping to give them that sense of normalcy and safety. If… and if it is safe for now, we stay. Until everyone is in agreement that it's time to leave, so that no one is left out in the cold to fend for themselves. There's safety in numbers," Daryl said quietly, trying to impress that fact upon her- he would do whatever it took and risk anything, even an isolated walker attack on the farm in the case that the barn gave away, to keep her and the kids safe.

She scoffed loudly and shook her head, wondering if numbers really would keep them safe in a world like theirs or if it would hinder them with everyone having to try and protect everyone, especially the weaker members of the group. "I think we've gone and switched places, you and I. You're here thinking about everybody else and I'm being… selfish as fuck. But I can admit to that, when it comes to anything involving you Daryl. I just want to be safe and hunkered down in a place I don't have to worry about when winter comes. Trooping out there in the snow is going to be a bitch and a half if anything happens, especially with… the baby coming," Evan said softly in reply, bending down to press her lips to his. Her words didn't faze Daryl, the hunter shrugging as he moved to pull his pants off and get back into bed.

"That's Lori and Rick's problem- we'll deal with our shit when it comes to us babe."

"Yeah, I guess so," she replied hesitantly as she laid down, staring at his scarred and tattooed back. Evan gave his shoulder a kiss before wrapping an arm around his waist and pulling him closer, sighing quietly into the sudden quiet of their night.

She heard Daryl's breathing even out after a while and was thankful that he could sleep, even as her own burdens were keeping her awake…


	26. Decisions and Civil Discussions

"Now, you know the only reason I'm letting you come out here is because you were going stir-crazy cooped up in that bedroom and getting on my nerves. But your freedom comes with rules until you're completely healed and Hershel gives you the all clear: the crossbow is off limits and so is chopping wood and feeding animals and anything else that could cause you to pull your stitches. And I damn well mean it Dixon, take it easy and sit yourself down for once. Hell, if you want, you could watch the kids," Evan said as they walked out of the house, the hunter more than glad to do anything she asked just to not be trapped in the house and confined to his temporary bedroom for any longer.

As soon as they saw him, the girls were running to his arms, Evan making sure to step in front of them to keep them from smacking into his chest. "Hey, slow down you two! Don't break him- we just patched him up," she said even as they sidestepped her to wrap their arms around Daryl tightly. He was caught off-guard for a moment before hearing them giggle, seeing Evan's face reflected looking up at him from either side. Kennedy grinned widely as he rested a hand on her curls, seeming more comfortable with him than he thought they would be, "I'm glad you're not dead, Daryl: we missed you. When we heard mom screaming for you when you got hurt, we thought that we had lost somebody else."

"Yeah, that sucked," Carter agreed, the hunter trying not to let his face reflect how pleased he was to know that they cared that much. Even still, he cracked a smile and tousled Carter's hair, "Ya sound like yer mom with all that worrying about me. Ya don't have to do that- I'm invincible. Wanna see my scar?"

He lifted up his shirt and Kennedy reached out to touch it before Daryl yelped in pain, both of the girls jumping back as they apologized profusely. Daryl only laughed and shook his head, Carter protesting as she realized that there was no harm done. "I'm just messing with ya. Now how about we go paint some nails or do each other's hair so I can get the boss of my back," he asked with a grin to Evan, the twins giggling as they led him back towards the campsite.

Evan saw Lori sitting by herself and sighed even as she moved to join her under the shade of a large elm tree, the two women staring out at the rest of the group.

"Where's Glenn," she asked, Lori running her fingers back through her hair and chuckling one humorlessly. "He's in town, getting me a few morning after pills." Evan turned to look at her, seeing the familiar look to her skin that was common to pregnant women, "Don't you think it's been a few mornings too late?"

"When the first wave hit us, it was just days after Rick got injured. There was a shootout on one of the back roads off of I-40, and he and Shane were both there. He got hit, almost right where Daryl himself got wounded, and after they did the surgery, he went into a coma. We had to leave him… but I didn't know that he was still alive. Carl and I both watched as Shane went into the hospital to get Rick, but it got overrun and it was all he could do to get out alive. That day, I was convinced my husband was dead... so I slept with Shane, not thinking that anything would happen. And then Rick found us outside of Atlanta and we were together and everything was supposed to go back to normal. It was normal for a while, between Rick, Shane and me," Lori murmured, rubbing her palms against the knees of her jeans as she moved to stare towards the sun. "And then this happened."

The younger woman was quiet, watching Lori's face carefully as she continued to speak, "I'm sure that the baby is Rick's, though. It has to be."

"And even with that conviction, you're willing to take abortion pills," Evan asked without trying to seem condescending: she just wanted to know how Lori could make that heartbreaking decision to end the life inside of her, a life she created with the man she loved and not even tell him about it. Lori just shook her head and tried not to let her see the tears burning in her eyes, sniffling quietly. "Look at the world we live in, Evan! Right now, I'm living in a tent with my husband and my son, trying to do the best we can living on top of each other. The winter is coming and you already know that food is going to be hard to come by- not to mention the fact that all we do is move from place to place? How am I going to run eight and nine months pregnant? How are we going to keep him safe when he's hungry and cold and crying; he could put the entire group at risk! And let's just entertain the idea that he lives long enough to start having memories… all of his memories would be the remnants of a world, the stink of long-dead bodies and filth, the feeling of an aching stomach from going without food for days at a time. Is this any world in which to even think about having a child?"

Evan tried not to let herself get upset, looking at where Daryl was watching over the twins and their usual antics, the hunter holding Jude protectively in his arms, "Jude's still just a baby too, Lori. And all she is going to know when she looks back on her life is this; but no matter where we live, if we have to keep moving and running, I'm going to make sure that she has the best possible life I can give her. I'm going to make sure that she's safe and warm and that at the end of the day, she knows I love her. If I have to go without a meal to make sure she eats, fine. And if her crying brings walkers, oh well- I'll handle them. I'll handle whatever obstacle comes along because I love her and I would do anything, sacrifice everything, for her. I'm prepared to do that.

"But if you're not and if you are just adamant that this is the only possible option for you, fine Lori: that's your choice. You just remember that its Rick's baby too and he has a choice- don't make it for him."

She continued to sit with her, but left Lori to her own thoughts, looking up when the pickup pulled back into the farm. Maggie came storming over to where the women were, both Evan and Lori standing as they saw how angry she was. "The next time you want something from town, get it yourself Lori because nobody is willing to die because of you! Here's your abortion pills," Maggie seethed, tossing the boxes at her. Evan looked at her in disbelief as she stormed away, Glenn coming to them as he tried to explain her intensely rude behavior, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. She's just upset- we got attacked in the pharmacy and she… well, she thinks that the walkers are people like her dad. I'm sorry."

"Its not your fault," Lori said, trying to calm him even as he fumbled with the pockets on his backpack.

He pulled out a pill bottle and gave it to her, his words simple and understanding beyond his years. "And those are in case you change your mind," Glenn said before going after Maggie, the two women looking down at the label on the bottle.

"Prenatals," Lori scoffed, shaking her head and looking at the others to see if anyone had heard their exchange.

Evan just sighed and started to where Daryl was, "Cheeky kid, that one."

* * *

Daryl let out a long exhale as he felt Evan brushing his hair back tenderly, the sleeping hunter stirring when she pressed her lips to his forehead. "Hey, how are you feeling? You were tossing and turning all night," the woman whispered quietly so as to not wake the others.

He groaned and rolled over from where he was with his head in her lap, stretching out wordlessly. Daryl then sat up, rubbing his eyes before moving to scratch his stubble. "Nightmare- can't sleep knowing that those fucking walkers are in the barn, feet away from ya and yer girls," he grumbled in reply, moving to press his fingers in his eyes again.

"You called them 'our' girls yesterday, when we were discussing what to do about leaving: 'a few hundred yards away from ya and our girls'. You said that like wasn't nothing, Daryl…"

Turning to look at her in the steadily lightening early morning, he sighed, shaking his head, "I didn't mean to do that. I'm not trying to replace anything with them: I know my boundaries when it comes to them. I'm sorry."

"Baby, don't be sorry," Evan said as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders and squeezed him gently. She kissed his cheek before moving to brush her lips against his ear, whispering softly. "Carter and Kennedy love the hell out of you- and Jude? You're all that she knows right now: when she calls for her daddy… you know that she's calling for you. And I know that it is all a lot to handle, and I'm not trying to push any of my responsibilities on you just because we're together, but if you really did mean it when you called them yours-"

"I meant it. I love them like they're my own already, and I'll never let anything hurt them. Promise."

She kissed him when he tilted his head to look at her, Evan's fingers pressing into his chest as she wrapped herself around him. Daryl didn't mind her holding him in that sort of reversed position: it was just difficult to maneuver like they needed to and so he pulled her around his waist, Evan settling into his lap for a moment before raising up to kiss him lightly. "We are so un-fucking-conventional, it's scary- but baby, I wouldn't have it any other way," she whispered as she played with the hair at the nape of his neck, ghosting over his lips repeatedly with her own.

"Me either. Get yer pants on and let's take a walk," Daryl said in reply, a coy smile on his face.

When they returned from the fields later that morning, everyone was already up, Evan's arm wrapped around Daryl's waist as they trotted to where the group was assembled around the campfire.

"Morning y'all," Andrea said kindly, seeing how sharply Evan cut her eyes at her. Daryl looked between them before kissing his woman's temple, pushing her towards her usual seating, "Go on now and stop mean mugging people, Ev- it was an accident.

"And ya: don't come apologizing to me about what happened. Ya ain't the first woman who's wanted to shoot me and with that one sitting over there, I doubt ya will be the last. Ya were trying to protect the group; no harm, no foul."

Evan scoffed loudly before looking at where Jude was sitting in Lori's lap, the two women exchanging a silent glance. The former soldier didn't know what her bloodshot eyes meant, knowing that her situation could only have gone one of two ways.

"Hey, can I talk to all of you for a second?"

She looked up from her plate as she started to spoon some grits onto it, seeing Glenn's nervous demeanor and already knowing what he was about to do. Evan dropped her plate and stood, looking at him evenly, "Glenn, what did I say?"

"I couldn't sleep knowing that they didn't know, Evan! How did you sleep knowing that the barn's full of walkers?"

Everyone looked between the two of them, Shane standing angrily and glaring at her. "The barn- a barn less than a thousand feet from where we eat, sleep and shit- is full of geeks and you just thought that it was better not to say anything? Who in the hell do you think you are," he snapped, moving towards her. Daryl found himself going to her 'rescue' but paused when she returned Shane's hateful tone, knowing that in this situation, she could handle herself. "The bitch that's gonna keep your fool ass alive, that's who. Now sit down and shut the fuck up so I can talk."

She explained what had happened with Glenn discovering the walkers, defending her actions for not telling anybody before then. "We've been here a good six to seven weeks now and there hasn't been any incidents. Hell, if it weren't for Glenn, we wouldn't even know. And this isn't our land, we can't just go around demanding things from Hershel- he could kick us off his land faster than any of you had time to blink. Not that I'm opposed to packing my shit and hitting the road," Evan finished, looking at the faces in front of her.

"I'm going to go see for myself what the hell is going on."

Shane turned and stormed off towards the barn, Rick and Evan right on his heels. The others followed behind them, standing back and holding their breaths as they waited for the others to investigate. Evan peered through a crack in the wood, seeing the captive walkers for the first time, "Hershel's fucking nuts. He still thinks they're people-"

"Well, then maybe someone should go talk some sense into him," Shane said, his words a thinly veiled threat. Evan glared at him before poking him in the chest, placing herself right in his path as she challenged him. "Well it sure as hell ain't gonna be you, rouge. You think that you're in charge around here but think again! You don't work well with others and you don't know the first thing about compromise- you running around with guns blazing is only gonna get one of us killed," she shouted in his face, seeing how the blood started to rise in his cheeks. "But that wouldn't be the first time, would it Shane?"

"Hey! Hey, that's enough- both of you, back off! Now," Rick said loudly after seeing his friend's hand going towards the gun on his hip. Evan took a step back but smirked coldly, her eyes locked with Shane's as she spoke, knowing that only he and Rick would hear her next words, "Yeah, I know, Shane. Never forget that I was there."

He stared her down as Rick stepped in between them, the sheriff looking at Evan and sighing heavily. "Look, you and me will go up to the house and talk to Hershel, just take a minute to cool off first. I'm sorry Shane, but this is going to take a little finesse and Evan has shown that she's damn good at talking to people," Rick said before turning to his friend, seeing the hateful expression on his face.

"Alright, but we should still leave a guard here until y'all figure it out. It'll make everyone else feel safer," Shane replied rather amicably, still heated from having been shouted at and called out. "Just in case."

Rick nodded and patted him on the shoulder, "That's a good plan. Take the first watch?"

They left him there and walked back to where the others were waiting, Dale the only one to see the cold and calculating look fleet across Shane's eyes as he stared at Evan's back- he had, of course, seen that look once before.

When the others had gone back to wait as they let Rick and Evan handle the situation, the two leaders stood side by side in silence, the sheriff sighing to the early afternoon air. They had already decided what they would say to Hershel, the two waiting until the family was done with their brunch to talk to them.

"Well, we have to do everything we can to convince him to let us stay. You gotta keep a cool head, no matter what the old man says because all he needs in one good reason to kick us off his farm. We could have some semblance of a life here, Evan- and we still have a job to do," he murmured, hearing her chuckle quietly beside him. Evan pulled her fingers back through her hair before shaking her head, knowing that he was just trying to make excuses to seem selfless, "This isn't about Sophia; you know as well as I do that her chances of survival after six weeks alone with no food, no water, and no protection is nearly zero, Rick. I've been prepared to find that little girl's body for weeks now… There's nothing wrong with hope, but reality? That's a bitch and a half, but its what we've got."

"Reality," Rick sighed quietly, hanging his head as he rested his hands on his hips. "Things are too real, too risky for us to be leaving the farm now. Lori's pregnant."

She turned to look at him and nodded, seeing his eyes narrow slightly. "I know- I was the one who got her the pregnancy test," Evan replied honestly as she shifted her weight from foot to foot, seeing the burning, accusatory look come across his face. "Damn, you just love to keep secrets, don't you? First the walkers, now the pregnancy test and oh, what about the abortion pills," Rick questioned angrily, moving to fold his arms across his chest. Evan rounded on him with her jaw set in a determined fashion, looking at the sheriff and scoffing loudly. "It wasn't my goddamn place to tell you shit about her being pregnant because you and I aren't friends Rick. We are here only because they look to both of us as leaders and if I keep any secrets from you it's because I have my reasons: to keep everyone safe. You and Lori are married, not us, and if you have a problem with her, the two of you need to fucking fix it. Don't come at me with your issues because you and your woman don't communicate enough to solve it on your own. And I didn't get her no fucking pills, either- that was Glenn."

"She took them," Rick said softly when she had quieted and returned to staring at the house, seeing the miniscule way her shoulders raised. Evan obviously hadn't known about that and she couldn't help but show it, her bottom lip jutting out slightly. "But she threw them up right after… and she took the prenatal supplements. I'm gonna be a daddy."

Evan nodded and rubbed one of her arms, knowing that they had made the decision together in the end to keep their child, "Then congratulations."

Hershel came out of the house to sit on the porch and they started walking towards him, seeing the older man sitting with his Bible. "Good afternoon Hershel," Evan said cordially as she reached the stairs, seeing him look up to eye her. "Good afternoon Evan, Rick. How is everybody- no one sick? What do you need?"

"Well Hershel, we'd like to discuss our… future living arrangements. Now, I know you said that this wasn't a permanent situation we're in, but things have changed-" Hershel cut him off, speaking plainly and frankly, "Nothing's changed, Mr. Grimes. I told you that you could stay as long as Carl needed me- and he's on his feet now and he's healing well. I extended my offer when Daryl got injured, but like I said, when your group is able, you need to be moving on. This is my land."

"And these are our lives, our family's lives and those of our friends. The farm isn't the first place I'd choose knowing that there are walkers in your barn, but this is what we got," Rick replied almost harshly, meeting Hershel's gaze and trying to communicate the intensity of his emotions. However, Hershel just narrowed his eyes and set his mouth firmly- and it was clear to them both that he was very angry about them finding out about the barn. "I want you gone by the end of the week-" Evan moved to stand in front of him, gesturing back to the group, "And you want us to go where exactly? Out there where the geeks roam free, where we are just another meal to them? I'm sure you haven't left this goddamn farm since the apocalypse hit- you don't know what it's like out there! And I'm content to leave if that's what I have to do, but if the rest of my people want to stay, they should be able to. You have a safe haven here because your farm has barely been touched by the infection and you're trying to turn out people in need; why? Why not 'love thy neighbor', Hershel? Why not take a page out of that God book of yours and actually do the Christian thing?"

He stood and looked at her, placing his Bible down on his chair as he did so. "I did the Christian thing by taking in your people when Rick's boy got hurt and my conscious is clear. I want to be left alone, to have whatever I please in my barn- those people are sick! And they need my help a lot more than you do, Mrs. Harper. How could I allow you to stay here, knowing that you have murdered numerous people in an effort to do for yourself," Hershel questioned harshly, Evan taking a step back in disbelief.

"They are… those things are not people! They are mindless, soulless, dangerous creatures that feed on human flesh without discrimination! And if it- if- it was truly murder as you say it was, then they deserved it for killing countless others who could not defend themselves! There are millions of people- men, women and children- who fell victim to the walkers and they didn't get back up! They are dead and if killing a few walkers meant leveling out the playing field for the survival of the fittest, then goddamn it, that's exactly what I did," she snapped back venomously, the old man looking at her hatefully.

"Do not take the Lord's name in vain in my presence, girl! And God said 'thou shall not kill'; you should have followed the Savior's teachings and turned the other cheek."

Evan scoffed and shook her head, knowing that neither she nor Rick could get through to the deluded farmer with how strong his conviction was, "Yeah, yeah, I should have turned the other fucking cheek and gotten half of my damn face ripped the fuck off as I did so! You need to get your head out of your ass Hershel or you're going to end up just as dead as those monsters you're keeping right beside the place where you lay your head at night. And don't worry- I'll be gone by the end of the fucking week."

With that, she stormed off, leaving the two men to stare at each other as Hershel fumed. "Was that your idea of a civil discussion, Rick?"

"No, and I apologize for that. She's just a little… emotional right now; Evan loves her group and cares about what happens to them. And despite what she said, I know that she doesn't want to leave the farm or anyone in the group behind. But she's right Hershel: they're dangerous. The first moment that the barn gives, they will swarm and they will kill everything they see. I've seen it happen," Rick said, feeling the way his face fell as he remembered what had happened back with the walker attack in Atlanta. "Just… please, just think about it. If there's anyone who needs to be here, it's our people. And especially now with Lori being pregnant. Don't turn us out in the streets like this or we will die.

"All of us will die and that will be on your consciousness."


	27. God Forgive Us

He looked at her evenly as she recounted the entirely useless conversation with Hershel, the both of them sitting cross-legged in the tent to have some sort of privacy. Daryl rocked Jude back and forth gently to put her to sleep, his eyes on Evan, "So we're leaving?"

"Looks that way," she replied quietly, running her fingers back through her curls. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize- ain't yer fault, babe. Just means that yer gonna have to find some place for us to go; I would help ya with that, but I'd like to at least find out what happened to Carol's little girl before we go. She deserves either some hope or some closure," Daryl sighed before bending down to kiss Jude's head, thinking about how much he was dreading their impending departure.

Evan folded her arms across her chest and looked out of the open flap to where the girls were with Lori and Carl, Kennedy laughing as the older woman braided her hair. "It's what we have to do to keep them safe, but they still shouldn't have to be exposed to that out there. Here… they get to be kids and they haven't had the chance to just live without being afraid since this all happened. How do we tell them that that's over now?"

"Don't know but we'll manage. We've done pretty well so far..."

She moved to kiss him before climbing out of the tent, stretching and sighing quietly. Lori looked up when Evan sat down beside her, finishing Kennedy's hair and sending the three kids off to help Lincoln and Carol with hauling water.

"I heard about what you did," Evan murmured, keeping an eye on her girls. "I'm here if you need anything."

"Thanks, I could use somebody in my corner. Nobody knows other than you- and Daryl, of course- Rick, and Shane, but the latter two aren't too happy with me right now. Rick's beyond pissed off I took the pills before I told him about the baby, even though I spit them up. And he told Shane, who flew off the handle and confronted me about being pregnant. He thinks the baby is his… but I told him that even if it was, the baby would never be his. This is mine and Rick's child," Lori replied as she pressed a hand to her stomach, sighing quietly.

Evan opened her mouth to say something before seeing Rick and Jimmy coming across the yard, seeing the sheriff's tense expression. She and Lori both stood, the younger woman stepping forward to meet them, "What? What's wrong?"

"I need you to help me… run an errand with Hershel. It's important," Rick said, Evan hearing the thinly veiled meaning behind the woods and knowing that he wasn't asking her to do anything- he was telling her.

The former soldier wanted to question him but knew that he wouldn't want to talk about anything concerning the farm and them staying in front of Lori, especially when she knew they hadn't had a chance to talk yet privately. She nodded and went back to the tent to tell Daryl she was leaving before grabbing her gun, joining Rick and Jimmy.

They went back to the house to meet with Hershel, the older man regarding Evan with only a glance before turning back to Rick. "And you're sure that there's not going to be any problems from her," he asked, the younger man nodding and looking at Evan.

"There won't be. Let's go out and get back before dark, yeah?"

Evan stared at their backs as they led her around the back of the house and across the property, Jimmy retrieving two dog catch-poles. "Rick, you mind telling me what this is about," she asked once she had moved from the teen's side to catch up with him. "Well, Hershel's agreed to reconsider our leaving if we can reconsider our current… life choices," he replied, the young woman eyeing him for a moment before shoving his shoulder. Rick caught her hand and jerked her once, Evan exhaling sharply from his rough treatment, "Hey now Evan, we're doing whatever he asks right now! Lori's gonna need a doctor and a safe place to have our baby and you are not about to mess that up! Get with the fucking program or walk back out into that darkness."

She breathed hard before yanking her arm away and turning back to glare at Hershel's back, finding herself walking deeper into the swamps.

Evan could hear something moving ahead and slowed, looking back at the catch-poles in a new light. "Jesus Christ Rick, we are not about to do this…" They came around to a small pond, the former soldier stopping in her tracks as she looked at the two walkers in front of her.

"The mud catches them, holding their feet and legs until we can get to them," Hershel explained, looking back at Rick and Evan. "Most of the people in my barn we've found out here by the ponds. Here, this is Louise Perkins: she owned the farm up the road. And this man was a mechanic in town- I never learned his name, but he's a person all the same and he deserves our help."

Rick looked at Evan to make sure she held her tongue, putting his hands on his hips and sighing quietly. "And you said that Otis was the one to corral the walkers, putting them into the barn," he asked, the old man nodding. "After seeing his brother get sick, he came to me for help- man was so close to grief, he was about to put the young man out of his misery. But when I counseled him, he found understanding and realized that no matter the circumstances, that murder is murder. Do you have it in your heart to regard your fellow man with at least a little common decency and allow them to keep their lives. You have to give up your wrongdoing ways and stop killing to remain here with us," Hershel said, turning to meet Evan's eyes. She could feel her expression morph into one of loathing and anger, her hands balling into fists.

Still, she didn't say anything, only watching as Rick reached out to grab one of the catch-poles and move towards one of the walkers, "I'll do just about anything now."

"You should've left me at camp- if its between living the only way that's going to keep us safe and alive, and this, then hell yeah: I'd rather take my chances out there. Because this ain't right, Rick, you standing here trying to catch these… these things like they're just the usual, run-of-the-mill animals! You may be safe for a few days or a few weeks but mark my words that this is not just going to come without consequences," Evan finally shouted, seeing him willingly walk towards the female walker.

"Then go back and pack your shit- I want you gone by the time we get back," Rick snapped, knowing that he was having to choose between what he considered to be the lesser of two evils. She looked at him as if to beg him to change his mind, the woman shaking her head when she realized that he couldn't be reasoned with knowing that he was doing it for his family.

Evan turned and started back towards camp, loading a round into the chamber as she did so.

Dale was waiting for when she walked through the fields towards him, the former soldier moving to brush past him before he stopped her. "Hey, I need to talk to you about Shane-" She paused and turned on him, breathing harshly from her previous exertion, "Yeah? Well, I need to talk to Shane right now- point me in his direction old man."

"If there is anyone you want to be putting yourself near, it's not Shane," Dale replied, seeing her eyes narrow slightly as she considered his words. "When we were in Atlanta, he made an attempt on Rick's life and the only thing that kept him from doing so was me- I saw the crazed look on his face then, Evan. Today, when you confronted him at the barn… he looked at you that way. He's dangerous."

She looked at her gun before nodding and taking a moment to catch her breath, knowing that Dale was right. "I… I already know, and while I can't prove it, something happened that night at the school with Otis. Shane wouldn't have made it back on that ankle if Otis hadn't proved a good distraction for the geeks," Evan explained quietly, Dale agreeing with her- he had seen the handful of hair missing from Shane's head before he had shaved it all off and had already had his suspicions. "But regardless of that, right now I need him to help me stop Rick from going down a very bad path and putting himself right in harm's way. I don't like it, but in this very fucked up world we're in, Shane is a man I could use on my side rather than against me."

Dale watched as she turned at walked towards the vehicles, seeing Shane bent over the hood of the pickup with James and T-Dog.

"Hey, I need to talk to you," she said, the sheriff's deputy looking over his shoulder and setting his jaw. Shane turned back to the schedule they were making about keeping watch on the barn, his shoulders raising slightly with his building anger, "Ain't got nothing to say to you, woman."

Evan moved to lean against the car beside him, the man having no choice but to look at her. "Then fucking listen to me: Hershel's got your boy Rick wrangling even more walkers to put in the fucking barn. So unless you're comfortable with more of the walkers moving in to the house next door, I'd say it's about damn time to do something about it. You gotta talk to him," she said, trying to get him to help her. He only scoffed and shook his head, pulling out his own pistol. "You know, I was willing to let y'all try and work things out with Hershel, but you wouldn't be talking to me here if it wasn't working. He can't be reasoned with and Rick's about to start going along with him- the time for talking is done."

"So what, pulling out guns and making your demands is gonna make everything better? I need you to get through to Rick, not start a war with Hershel-"

"If starting a goddamn war is what I have to do, so be it. You wanna stay at this farm, you gotta fight for it," Shane snapped, moving around the truck to get the two bags of gun James had been in charge of holding.

She looked to her friend as Shane held out one of the guns to him, looking at him evenly, "You know that this isn't right! We don't need to put them under duress to get our way."

"Evan, I heard you talking to Daryl in your tent about what Hershel said and I know that right now, Shane's right. If it weren't for you needing his help, you would have never come over here! I'm not about to just walk back out into that world when I have a chance to actually have a life here. I'll take it if I have to," James said, moving to take one of the bags from Shane as they started passing out the guns to the others.

"Hey! Y'all come on out and get ready to clean out that barn," Shane shouted as they reached the others and he started passing out guns. "Y'all know we've been trying to reason with Hershel about those things and us staying on the farm, but he ain't listening! He's about to turn us all back on the streets just to keep those walkers! And y'all know we don't belong out there, left to the geeks to die- like your sister, Andrea! And Jim, and all the others who died in Atlanta with us; I ain't going out like that and neither should you. We're about to stand our ground and take this farm if we have to!"

Daryl came to wrap his arm around Evan protectively, watching as Shane riled the group before heading towards the barn. "Baby, get your gun- he's about open the barn up," she said before moving to snatch up Jude and follow after her girls.

"You gotta stop him," Lori shouted to Evan, holding onto Carl's hand to keep him from joining what had effectively turned into a mob.

Hershel's family came out to try and stop them, Maggie placing herself right between Shane and the barn. "Get away from here! You ain't got no right," she shouted shrilly, Shane menacing her as she tried to stop him.

"You better move girl, or I'll move you myself-"

"Hey, do y'all see that? Do you see what's coming across that goddamn field," T-Dog asked as he spotted Hershel and the others returning from the swamps, everyone turning to look. Shane pulled his gun and turned as Rick came up the path towards them, leading the walker. "Rick! What the hell do you think you're doing," he asked, raising his gun and leveling the barrel at them. "Mind your business and move Shane! I have to do this-"

Shane challenged both he and Hershel, scoffing, "Do what? Play doctor with this sick freak we're living with? He thinks that walkers can be helped- these things ain't sick and they ain't people! They are dead!"

"You don't know nothing," Hershel said, holding on to the male walker and shaking his head.

The sheriff's deputy nodded and raised his gun again, this time training it on the geek. "Well then Hershel, man lemme ask you something. Can a living, breathing person, could they walk away from this," he questioned before shooting the walker in the chest. Hershel was visibly affected as he saw the walker only flinch back before continuing to lunge and claw at Shane, the younger man moving closer to the woman who used to be Louise.

"No, stop it," Evan shouted, trying to move forward before Daryl held her back. Carter took her younger sister and shrunk away, knowing that the situation was only escalating.

Shane put two more bullets into the walker, before lowering his weapon slightly, looking at the farmer evenly, "That's three rounds in the chest. Could someone who's alive- really alive- can they just take that? Why is it still coming?" He continued to fire shots, pausing only to reload his gun before glaring at both Rick and Jimmy. "That was its heart, its lungs. Why is it still coming," Shane asked before he put one last wound in Louise's chest and taking a step back.

"Shane, enough," Rick shouted, trying to diffuse his anger and salvage the situation.

"Yeah, you're right man," he replied before shooting the walker in the head and watching Rick let the corpse fall to the ground. "That is enough."

Everyone was quiet as they watched him put down the second walker, Beth wailing loudly from the trauma of watching the killings in front of her. Patricia consoled her as Maggie moved to stand with her father, looking at Glenn accusatorily with tears shining in her eyes, "You're a monster-"

"I'm a realist and its time to get real! This group has gotten weak, soft sitting here with your country living and your lemonade! Those creature comforts y'all let yourself get used to don't change the fact that we are living in the goddamn zombie apocalypse," Shane roared, pacing in front of the group and becoming increasingly erratic. "We need to start fighting to survive and stop wasting time on pointless bullshit like 'rescuing' a dead kid, and keeping those walkers in that barn! And that- that starts now."

He turned and moved to break the lock on the door with the butt of his gun, Evan moving to make sure that the girls were safe behind her as she stepped forward. Daryl was right at her side as the doors burst open, both of them following the leads of James, Shane, Lincoln, T-Dog and Andrea as they began to fire.

Glenn looked at Maggie as she and the rest of her family screamed out, the body of an older woman and younger man falling to the choir of their sobbing. "Maggie," he said pitifully, looking at her and trying to let her know that his hand had been forced. She only nodded as she moved to support her father, who had slumped to the ground, sobbing quietly.

They put down every walker that came out of the barn until the flood stopped, Evan dropping her weapon to her side as she panted almost silently, her chest heaving as she tried not to think of the enormity of what had just happened. In the end, they had gotten their way, but at the cost of the Greene family's way of life and peace of mind. She turned to look at the traumatized people before hearing one last, quiet growl, the entirety of the group turning back to look at the barn.

"Oh my God."

Sophia- still wearing the same clothes she had worn when she had disappeared- stepped out of the barn and into the sunlight timidly, flinching away from the bright light. She stumbled and stepped over the fallen bodies of the walkers they had killed, sporting a distinct wound on her neck clotted with black blood. The reanimated corpse snarled as she inched towards the terrified group, intent clear in her undead eyes.

"Sophia," Carol screamed out as she ran forward in anguish, Daryl moving to catch her and hold her when she slumped to the ground. Tears ran down her cheeks unashamed, the woman moving to grip Daryl's arm, "Sophia, my baby… Sophia."

Nobody dared to shoot, everyone seeming to agonize as they watched for any signs of the little girl who had once been there. Evan could see through her tears that even Shane, who moments ago set in motion the massacre, was taken aback in a stunned silence by the appearance of Sophia.

Rick stepped forward hesitantly and raised his gun before his hand began to shake, his finger not quite able to pull the trigger.

Knowing that her previous vow would come back to haunt her, Evan moved forward with resolve, remembering the last moments she had shared with Sophia. She let her gun fall from her grip and instead wrapped her hand around Rick's, the sheriff looking at her. "We made our choices with her and… now we have to deal with this. It has to be done," Evan whispered simply, the girl beginning to cross the open space between the barn and them.

"I am so sorry Sophia," Rick said as her finger moved over his, feeling the pressure on the trigger.

"May God forgive us all."


	28. Aftermath

They all stood there in shock, looking at the many bodies of the fallen, Rick turning away from the sight of Sophia's corpse.

"No! No," Carol shouted as she tore away from Daryl, the woman scrambling across the ground to cradle her daughter. Tears streamed down several faces, but the only ones that looked out of place were Evan's, seeming unmatched to the hard, stoic look on her face. She was unashamed as she walked over to a few stacked bales of hay, throwing up as the sick, disgusted feeling inside of her twisted up her insides.

Evan took a moment to get herself together before turning to look back to her group, dragging her arm across her face and mouth.

"Get these bodies burned."

Carol screamed from where she was on the ground, her hand tightening on Sophia's bloodstained shirt, "No, no! I won't go- I won't leave my daughter! Not like you did, Evan, out there at the mercy of the elements and the walkers! I won't let you destroy what's left of her!"

"I did everything I could," the young woman shouted back, her hands balling into fists at her side. "And while I take some responsibility, you should have kept an eye on her- she wasn't mine."

The older woman looked up at Evan, hate and anger seeming to radiate from her very being. "And I guess that's why your daughter is here and mine is not," Carol replied quietly, the former soldier taking a step back. Her words hurt, hitting Evan like that near fatal bullet had with Daryl, hot tears burning in her eyes.

"Fuck you, Carol."

"Evan," Rick said as she brushed past him, the woman kicking up dust with every step she took back towards the tents. The sheriff turned back to look at the rest of his group, seeing the Greene family and Carol grieving their last, Dale catching his eye. "Take her back to your RV and keep her there, please. Don't try and talk to her, just let her be so that she can work through this. It's a lot for her right now… Can you do that," Rick asked quietly as he walked towards Carol, the older man nodding.

He took a knee and looked at the grieving mother, reaching out to stroke her cheek, "Carol, I am so sorry. We… we failed; in protecting her, searching her, praying for her. And that is something I know that Evan and myself both will carry to our graves. We will carry her ghost to our graves… but you gotta let go now, Carol. I promise that I will take care of her, pray for Sophia's soul and I will bury her myself- no one is destroying your baby girl. She is one of our own and that has not changed." Rick placed his hands over hers and slowly forced the grip to ease, the older woman hesitantly letting the child go. The solemn man lowered Sophia's body to the ground respectfully, smoothing back her hair and sighing heavily.

Carol reluctantly stood and took Dale's arm, the woman taking one last sad glance at the corpse before returning to walk the same path that Evan had taken minutes before.

His wife saw the look in his eyes before she moved to help ease his burden, reaching out to Glenn. "Help Maggie and her family inside- I know they don't need us interfering anymore today… Tell her that she has nothing to worry about, that we're going to do what's right and bury her mother and brother. They just don't need to watch this," Lori murmured, the young man nodding and making Maggie stand. They talked for a moment before she moved to help him, her arms around her father tightly.

"Thank you," Rick said before he stood and turned his attention on Shane, the deputy taking a step back.

He tried to explain away his actions as being what was best for the group, Rick feeling the blood rise in his face, "You think that this massacre was for the best? You traumatized an entire family that was not ready to confront the world that they live in! And destroyed their trust in us- how could they let us stay now, when we've just killed their family and friends after giving them our word that we wouldn't?"

"Your word," Shane roared in reply, pointing at Rick accusatorily. "You and that overbearing bitch you're running around with gave him y'all word!"

"Hey!"

Daryl had one of his arms around Kennedy as she buried her face in his shirt, Carter standing beside him with her younger sister in his arms. "I don't give a fuck how pissed ya think ya are Shane, but if ya ever refer to Evan as a bitch again, I'll kill ya with my bare hands. And I mean that," Daryl said menacingly as both men looked at him, moving to take Jude into his arms.

"And you don't have to worry about your word anymore, Shane, because it don't mean shit to me. Do what Evan said and get those fucking bodies burned. I don't have anything else to say to you," the sheriff said with finality, turning on his heels and walking away.

Evan was sitting in her tent, her knees pulled up to her chest as she sobbed into her arms, feeling the enormity of her failure. She had done everything she could to keep her group safe and find Sophia, only to know now that it was all for naught.

The tent flap opened and she straightened up, swiping furiously at her eyes to dry them.

Daryl looked at her for a moment before moving to settle on the opposite side of the tent, holding Jude in his lap before refusing to meet her eyes. Her gaze could practically burn holes through him and he felt uncomfortable in her presence, especially with the way he felt inside.

She could see how tense he was and knowing that it had nothing to do with Sophia directly, called his name, "Daryl." His eyes narrowed slightly and he refused to look away from Jude's smiling face, trying to keep his emotions out of his voice and in check. "Just leave me alone right now, Ev. I need to be with my thoughts for a little while and try to… understand this. Ya should go and tend to what ya have to out there," he muttered, reaching out to smooth down Jude's curls.

"I'm not going back out there! Did you not just see what I did?"

"Oh, I saw exactly what ya did out there, putting a bullet in her head like that…"

Evan crossed her arms over her chest as her brow furrowed, replaying his words over and over in her head. His face was a blank mask, something that she knew he was using to try and keep her from figuring out what was really the problem- even though it didn't work.

"Are you," she asked, ducking her own head down to get a better look at his face. "You're… mad at me, aren't you?"

The former soldier was taken aback that he would turn on her like this, especially after all they had gone through together to get to the very point they were now backtracking from. "Are you fucking kidding me, Daryl? Out of all the people left who could fucking resent me for doing something I had to do, you're the one holding this shit against me," she questioned angrily, scoffing in disbelief.

"Ya fucking did that! Ya were supposed to help me save her, Evan- I led those goddamn walkers away from the girls that day and left ya to protect both of them! And ya failed; ya failed Sophia. And now she's dead, because ya didn't save her-"

"Fuck you, you motherfucker!"

She was on her feet then, knowing that she had never allowed herself to lose her shit in front of Jude before all of this- but that the world had changed a lot and they were just going to have to change with it. Evan didn't care who was watching them argue, the need for all self-control and restraint disappearing as her anger came out in full force. "You don't know shit about shit, Daryl," she practically screamed, feeling the heat rising in her cheeks the madder she got until her face felt like it was on fire.

He stood and looked at her, his hand balling into a fist at his side, "It was because it was yer daughter was there too, wasn't it? Ya had to make a choice and because Sophia didn't mean nothing to ya-" Evan slugged him, Daryl pushing her away from him and out of the open tent flap, the baby screaming in the background. He followed after her, Evan still swinging angrily as she cursed him, hearing several footsteps racing to where they currently were. "I did what I had to do! And if you want to judge me for that, fine Daryl: do as you please! But don't you ever insinuate that I never did nothing for her and that you are free from the blame of losing her, because if we're going to play that game, then you should have been the one to find her weeks ago! You and all your goddamn skills as a hunter and you couldn't find one little girl-" She found herself being pulled backwards by her arms, struggling against the hold that Rick and James had her in. Evan and Daryl were still charging at each other, T-Dog joining Lincoln and Shane as they attempted to hold the hunter back.

Daryl screamed at her just as loudly as she had, pulling towards her until he was literally in her face even as the others held on to them fast. "I took an arrow and a bullet for her," he spit in reply, the rage evident in his eyes as she sneered at him.

"And it still didn't matter," Evan said hatefully, seeing the wounded look in his eyes before he carefully hid it away. "Because Sophia died the night we tried to save her and she was in that barn for weeks while we spun our fucking wheels, got nowhere and spilt blood trying to find her. And you know that just as I do, Daryl, so ask yourself… is it really me right now that you're blaming?"

He panted angrily, calming himself down just enough so that they would let him go, twisting out of their grasp. "Go and fuck yer self, Evan. Ya better be glad that I'm a better man than my own old man was, or I would've beat yer ass black and blue for smacking me like that in front of our daughter. Get yer shit together," Daryl said, spitting a glob of blood at her feet before wiping his mouth.

"Get the fuck outta my face!"

Evan pulled away from Rick and James once the hunter had gone on, hearing his footsteps fade away.

"I think you and I need to have a little bit of a talk, partner," the sheriff said pointedly, seeing her eyes flicker towards her tent. Jude was still crying, sitting alone in the tent in the aftermath of the fight, reaching up to her mother when Evan appeared. The young mother picked up her child and consoled her, feeling Rick hovering over her shoulder.

"Hey! What the hell happened out here?"

Lori strode across the campsite from where she had been with the others in the RV, looking at both her husband and her friend for answers. Her eyes took in the redness in Evan's face and the puffy-look to her eyes, the older woman pausing for a moment. "Are you alright," she asked quietly, Jude still crying softly against her mother's chest. "What, you've never heard a good, old-fashion domestic dispute before Lori?"

"Wait, what? Rick, you let the situation escalate to that point- where the fuck is Daryl," Lori questioned angrily, readily coming to the defense of her friend without needing anymore provocation. The sheriff shook his head and looked at her, holding a hand out, "Take it easy, Lori. It may have escalated but the only one throwing hands was Evan-"

"You gonna arrest me for that, officer," the former soldier replied snidely, before looking away to where the men and Andrea were starting to move bodies from the barn.

He looked at Evan and shook his head with a sigh before looking at Lori, "I think one of us should check on Hershel. He'll probably be willing to talk to you- I'm pretty sure he's not going to like me right about now."

"Fuck him."

Rick sighed against and turned to look at Evan, slightly annoyed with her current attitude. "Dismissing everyone around you with a 'fuck you' is not how we need to do things right now Harper! Chill the fuck out for a second," he snapped angrily, the baby starting to cry again. "That man… he put us all in danger- got Daryl hurt and laid up for days- just because he couldn't come to terms with all of this and kept Sophia in his godforsaken barn!" The older woman shook her head and sniffled, moving to shove her hands in her back pockets. "No, Hershel said that he didn't know she was in there," Lori replied, looking away from Evan and worrying with her bottom lip.

"We should have known, accepted that she was gone. There was no way she could have been alive after all that time, anyway… I killed somebody's little girl today Lori, right in front of her."

Lori reached out to hold Evan's face in her hands for a moment, shaking her head more adamantly, trying to get through to her, "No, you didn't. Sophia died a long time ago and today, you just had to do what was merciful- both for her and her mother. You did nothing wrong."

She took in a shaky breath before handing the crying baby over to Lori, running her fingers back through her hair. "Take her from me, please," Evan said pitifully, wringing her hands as the older woman nodded. She kissed Jude's curls and rubbed her back, Evan knowing that her children were in safe hands. "We'll be here when you get back," she murmured to both of them, Lori kissing her husband and looking compassionately at Evan before turning back towards the RV.

The pair walked towards where Lincoln and Andrea were starting to dig the three graves beside Otis's, Evan simply holding her hand out for one of the shovels. She and Rick took over, working in silence for a few moments. "It seems like no matter how hard I try, people still end up dead," Rick murmured just loud enough for her to her, his voice sounding vulnerable and defeated as he tossed dirt over his shoulder. She sighed and shook her head, trying not to let her tears fall, "If anyone is to blame… it's me. Daryl was right, you know, and that's why I got so angry with him. I shouldn't have had to choose between her and my daughter; I should have been able to save her, too. I fucked up."

"Me too- maybe we should quit our fucking jobs then."

Evan chuckled ruefully before pausing to look at him, reaching out across the graves to rest a hand on his shoulder. He raised his eyes and there was a weariness there that made her bones hurt, Evan knowing that for as long as he had been with the Atlanta group, he had carried their burdens. "I need us to trust each other when it comes to the group, Rick. Because I know that I can't take the weight all on my own and that you can't do this without me. You have to stop doubting yourself, and me, and you have to be stronger than what you have been as of late with all this doubt. We both have to be stronger," she said quietly, the older man nodding evenly.

"You're the only person I have left to trust now, when it comes to doing what's right. And I owe you an apology for what I said in the swamps- that wasn't right and I knew better. I was being selfish because I knew that I needed Hershel for the baby… but I'm not gonna let my own needs come before that of the group. That ain't right and it's not how we need to do things."

"Yeah, well, we'll get it right next time," Evan said, turning back to shoveling away large mounds of dirt.

It was quiet for a few moments longer before Rick looked at her again, seeing the former soldier in a new light.

Before, he had only regarded her as someone with a good amount of common sense and enough skill to keep dodging Death's bullets. However, in the aftermath of her truly stepping into the role of being his partner one hundred and ten-percent, his view of her had changed. He saw a woman with a lot more hurts and wounds than she let show, taking in the slight way her shoulders had shifted forward in defeat now as compared to before the extermination. There was a tense quality to her face, making her seem older and harder, her eyes unable to fully hide the truth of the horrors she had seen- horrors that went far beyond those of the present day. But she was overwhelmingly strong- both in body and mind- as he had seen all too clearly the moment she had wrapped her hand around his.

Rick would never again worry about having her loyalty or her ability to have his back.

He said her name once, the woman looking up from her task to meet his eyes. She could see the heaviness in his gaze and she straightened up, the sheriff letting the full weight of his words settle upon her. "You know, I never realized how much I meant it when I said that I needed you. Not until today," Rick said quietly, seeing the way the corner of her mouth curved upwards.

"You're gonna need me a lot more in the days to come, sweetheart," she replied, folding her hands on the handle of her shovel.

He let his gaze shift for a moment before looking back at her and sighing, "I just want to say that if it had been me…"

"I know Rick. I know."

Evan turned back to digging, the conversation effectively coming to an end as Rick picked his shovel back up. He sighed once again before getting back to work, knowing that the dead had to be buried before they could even entertain the idea of returning to normalcy.

* * *

Maggie sat on the porch by herself, her head bent and her hands clasped almost as if she were praying, the young woman needing to escape the house for a while. Beth was an complete and utter mess even with Jimmy and Patricia trying to comfort and console her, her father shunning their advances to do the same with him by shutting himself up in his bedroom.

They had all been shown an ugly truth that day, one that Maggie herself had started to come to terms with in the days following her near-fatal attack in the pharmacy. Neither her sister or father had ever left the farm since the outbreak and in hindsight, she could see that their constant safety in the warm, little cocoon that was the farm had only served to delude them all and in turn, make them weaker.

"Are you alright?"

She opened her eyes and watched as Evan climbed the stairs slowly, seeing the concern on the former soldier's face. "Do I look okay to you? You know… fuck what I just said, I'm not the only one who's had a shitty day," Maggie muttered in reply, seeing her smile ruefully.

Evan was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, her thin tank top damp with sweat as she tried to cool off from the heat of the early evening. The woman took a seat beside Maggie and stared out over the farm, shaking her head. "Hell, you have had a much worse day than I have." She moved to pull her hair up into a ponytail, thankful that she was finally still long enough to get it up off her neck. Burying Sophia- sadly enough, without Carol being around to mourn for her lost child- and trying to keep her own warring emotions at bay had eaten up her entire afternoon, and she needed just a few moments to catch her breath.

"Me having a… bad day doesn't change the fact that you lost somebody too," the young woman said quietly, her voice somber from the memory of Evan's face, full of pain and lined with failure just moments after she put Sophia down. "I'm sorry about what happened to that little girl and what you had to do." Evan only grimaced, folding her arms across her chest and shaking her head even more adamantly this time. "We all have to do things we don't want to do, Maggie," the former soldier replied, looking away from her as she closed her eyes and leaned back in her chair. The farmer's daughter tucked her hands between her legs and proceeded to let out a long exhale before shaking her head, sniffling quietly, "Even when we know they're wrong."

"Especially when we know they're wrong… but those are times when you literally have no choice: those are things we do hoping to fix them later on down the line. But here, right now, when it comes to us? You have a choice here, and you know it- you could be the very one to change your father's mind. Because you know that this is wrong, that what he is doing to my people is wrong. Hell, Hershel knows its wrong but he won't listen to reason, to any of us," Evan said, seeing her knee start to shake and jiggle from obvious discomfort.

Maggie looked at the woman beside her, tears shining in her eyes, "You don't think I've tried that, Evan? You don't think I fought for y'all, tried to get through to him? Ever… ever since Glenn saved me at the pharmacy, I've known that daddy was wrong about them, that my stepmom and brother had died long ago. I knew that I didn't want his- his ignorance to be the thing that stood between you living and you becoming like them…"

The former soldier heard the sadness in her voice and looked at her, studying her eyes closely. "Jesus Christ, you fell in love with him," she said almost in disbelief, Maggie looking at her helplessly. She shrugged in a way that made her bob fly every which way, clear tracks running down her cheeks carelessly. "It's not like I meant to! It was just… after seeing that there was still a little happiness left in this world with Jimmy and Beth, and how Patricia and Otis were, and Lori and Rick and their whole story. And you, and Daryl- how y'all went from being strangers at the start of all this, to being..."

"Happy," Evan murmured in reply, looking back over the lawn where he stood at Sophia's grave.

He bent down to touch the small rock that was her headstone before laying her doll there, straightening back up after a moment and moving out of her field of vision.

"Yeah, and I wanted that. And then Glenn came along," Maggie said, turning to look at her companion.

She then scoffed after a moment and shook her head, moving to kick her feet up on the porch railing, "I gotta admit, it's nice, but it wasn't like gave me any choice in the matter. Daryl- and my babies, of course- gave me that little piece of happiness I needed. But it's a painful realization that comes along with happiness that makes you realize just how much you've got to lose and what your moments of joy are going to eventually cost you. And the price is high, Maggie: loss, doubt, anger, pain and in the end when God finally grants us mercy, its death.

"Nothing good in this life is ever free."


	29. Not That Easy

Evan looked up from her rifle as the tent zipper came down slowly, Daryl slipping inside without a word.

She sighed and stood, putting the safety on the gun before she set it aside, both of them starting to undress. The former shoulder could feel his eyes on her the entire time but the hunter stayed silent, Evan hearing him drop down onto their bed.

The tension wavered between them as she turned out the lantern and laid down, turning her back on him.

She closed her eyes and let out a soft exhale, waiting for her tired mind to cross over into unconsciousness. Daryl knew that she was trying to sleep, but as he stared at the outline of her shoulder, he knew that he would never be able to sleep knowing that she was upset- especially when he was the one to blame.

"Evan," he said softly, his hands folded behind his head. "Ya gotta wake up. We can't go to bed mad."

"Ain't mad Daryl, just hurt."

The woman knew that when it came to his mind, her being hurt was worse than being mad at him. He rolled over and pressed himself against her, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist. "I'm sorry, baby-"

"Sorry is not good enough, so you can go ahead and roll right on back over. I don't have shit to say to you after what happened today, Daryl. Go to bed and we'll… talk in the morning," Evan replied after a moment's pause, trying not to allow her tears to spill. He loosened his hold on her, but refused to let the hard feelings between them continue, "No, we'll talk now, Evan! I know ya better than ya think and I know that ya got plenty to say! The shit ain't over, so ya might as well say what's on yer goddamn mind because ya keeping it in ain't gonna settle right with ya and me not knowing is gonna drive me up a fucking wall!"

Evan rolled over to come face to face with his anger, pulling herself up into a sitting position and glaring at him. "What Daryl? I'm tired and I'm trying to go the fuck to sleep and I have had enough of your shit today! I don't want to fucking discuss anything with you right now, much less the fact that when I needed you, you practically turned your back on me," she shouted, seeing the look on his face.

"I just-" She cut him off with a glare as she turned the lantern back on, wanting him to see the look in her eyes, "You just let me know how you really felt about the fucking situation- and I'm not mad because I value honesty. But what I don't value is the fact that instead of you realizing just how hard it was to do what I had to, you turned on me. You blamed me Daryl and that's a human thing, I know, but I expected better from you! I expected that when I was with you, I didn't have to worry about a lack of support, a lack of comfort and safety- I didn't have to worry about you walking away from me over something that I did! Especially when I did it for you!"

Daryl only looked at her and swallowed, trying to comprehend what all she had just said to him. And then he sat back, pulled his knees up to his chest and hung his head.

He knew that she was right, that he had gone back on his word to always be there for her- to love and comfort her when she needed it most. The biggest crack in their relationship wasn't the fact that both of them had played a hand in losing Sophia, but his failure in letting her down. Daryl had promised her that his heart was in it and yet, he had let his anger at himself harden his heart to the one person he loved the most.

"I shouldn't feel like this," Evan said as she broke the silence once again, reaching up to brush away her tears. "I shouldn't feel this fear or this doubt when it comes to you and me. I never wanted to feel like this with you, not with how much I love you. I should be able to look at you and not have the urge to slap the piss outta you. I should be able to go to you and not worry about being judged or resented for the things I've done. Because I was honest with you coming into this Daryl- about who I was and what I had done and what I was capable of. Honest when I told you that I would do anything for you… I thought this was a new start, you and me, thought that us loving each other was like a light in the darkness."

"That hasn't changed."

She had never heard him sound like that- weak and broken- the man before her seeming to crumble underneath some immense weight. Daryl looked up and she could see the wounded glint in his eyes, a few tears making their way down his cheeks. "It may have changed for ya- all because of a stupid fight where I admit I fucked up and let ya down- but it hasn't changed for me," he replied sadly, moving to run a hand back through his shaggy hair.

They looked at each other across the tent with honesty in their eyes, Evan's gaze falling before his did as she shook her head. "I'm… I'm weak, Daryl. I am a strong woman, a hard-as-nails soldier, a tough mom but I am utterly weak when it comes to you. I have held all of these fucking emotions inside of me- self-loathing for whoring around when I was a teenager, grief for giving up my girls, guilt over Leigh dying, the pain of losing Nicole and Danny, the anger over having to put down my own mother, uncertainty about what happened to my father, fear for almost losing Kennedy, fault for lying to my daughters for all those years, the agony in helping Claire end her own life, and now overwhelming culpability in Sophia's death- held it all in for so long, sitting here in front of you, I feel it all falling back down onto my shoulders! You make me… feel Daryl and I hate that about you more now than ever before! Because I don't just get to feel the good, I have to feel the bad too because I have to be one-hundred percent open with you, because I love you!

"And the last thing I want to do right now is let go, to put myself in that position with you with the way I'm feeling right now. But I can't help but want you to just hold me," she wept, bringing her hands up to her face.

He moved to embrace her, pulling her into his lap as she attempted to quiet her growing sobs. Evan pressed herself further into his grasp, her lips trembling and her eyes shut tightly. Daryl didn't say anything else ask any questions as he wrapped his arms even more tightly around her, feeling one of her tears as it rolled from her cheek onto his arm. She brushed her lips over the tear almost as she kissed it away before wrapping her hands around his biceps tightly, every moment seeming like torture to Daryl. The hunter knew that as her man he had an obligation to love and comfort her in times like these, and that for as long as her tears flowed, he would be her rock. He kissed random spots of flesh at arbitrary intervals to let her know that he truly loved her and he was there with her, even if he had not been previously.

"I've got ya baby," Daryl whispered into her curls, barely audible over the sound of her cries. "I've got ya."

Daryl held her even after the tears had stopped and her body had relaxed somewhat in his arms, her breath even and slow against the bare skin of his chest. "Thank you," she whispered meekly as she raised up, her eyes meeting his almost tentatively. He tucked her hair behind her ear and stroked her cheek, shaking his head, "Ya don't have to thank me. This is my job, loving ya- and I will not let ya down ever again, I swear."

"You have no idea how much I want to believe that, Daryl," Evan said quietly, casting her eyes down at the hurt look that flitted across his rugged features. "You have no idea how much I wish we could just take it all back, these last few hours. How I wish I could… go back to how we were before we loved each other like this. Because I'm- I'm not sure that we're good for each other, not when we have had so much anger and resentment about the other."

"But we can't go back, so we have to make the best of what we've got," he said weightily, feeling the distance between them as she pulled away and turned her back on him once more.

Evan flicked the lantern off and laid back down, not feeling any better than she had before, "Goodnight Daryl. I'll see you in the morning…"

"I love ya."

His words were whispered, but she heard them clearly- felt them as they vibrated throughout his chest when he moved to lay down beside her. And they hung in the air over Evan's head, her many hesitations forcing her to question every last syllable even when all she wanted to do was just believe.

* * *

She sighed as she began to stir, stretching out in Daryl's arms and rubbing her still-swollen eyes.

Even despite the emotionally-volatile conversation, he had still kissed her goodnight and she had slept within his embrace, their fingers intertwined above their heads. She couldn't help but squeeze his hand lightly as she pulled away from him, her soul weary and mind already in overdrive.

They couldn't exist in the situation they had put themselves in for too long and Evan knew that sooner- rather than later- things would come to a head for them. She would have to make a decision then: she would either have to forgive him or she would have to walk away, the latter option making her stomach twist uncomfortably.

She looked at the bright light filtering through the side of the tent and sighed, knowing that it had to be nearly noon, "Shit. It's late."

She pulled her clothes on and tied her hair up, placing her toothbrush in her mouth before glancing down at Daryl one last time. He had a troubled look on his face even in the midst of his slumber, his hand resting where she had laid. Evan bit down her bottom lip as she thought of all the times he had slept with a hand over her heart and how last night, she hadn't let him. She had kept her heart from him and the contrition that accompanied her recognizing how much that would mean to him- how much such a little notion would hurt him- weighed down her already heavy heart.

When Evan stepped out into the daylight, everyone turned to look at her, their eyes seeming to check her over. "Christ, good morning to you too," she said defensively, glaring as she went to use the bathroom and brush her teeth. Returning only a few minutes later, she slipped her toothbrush into her breast pocket and sat down beside Rick, thanking Lori with a nod as she was brought her morning coffee.

They were quiet before Evan turned to look at him, seeing the carefully guarded expression on his face, "They, uh… they heard us fighting last night, huh?"

"Not so much Daryl," Rick replied plainly as he took a sip of his own coffee and smirked, seeing the embarrassment flash across her features. "Who all heard?" He gestured to the entire group, Evan hanging her head as she pinched the bridge of her nose. She needed a swallow of coffee to sober her up before she responded, turning to look at the sheriff and narrowing her eyes. "Well, I don't care. I don't care what they heard or what they think, because they may not have heard him last night but any other fight? Yeah, he can dish it out as good as he gives it, that's for sure," Evan muttered quietly before letting out a sigh.

She looked up at the sky and shook her head, considering a few things in her mind before speaking. "We need to start thinking about… where we go from here." Rick's face hardened slightly and he turned to glare at her, obviously not wanting to have that discussion.

"We need to figure out where Hershel's head is first, before any decisions are made. I would like to stay here, if possible- I want to protect and raise my family here. Where it's gonna be relatively safe," he murmured in reply, seeing a curious look come into her eyes.

Evan's eyes turned towards her tent as the flap opened up, Daryl finally making his appearance before the rest of the group. He tried to smooth down his messy hair without having to brush it once he realized that he had an audience, the hunter moving quickly to handle his morning business.

He knew that he probably shouldn't say anything about the matters, but Rick turned to Evan anyway and cleared his throat, trying not to falter underneath her gaze. "You know, I… wasn't very nice to Lori when I found out about her being pregnant. I felt that I had done something to let her down as her husband- why else would she try and abort the baby, you know? I blamed myself, but I took it out on her and I screamed and I yelled and I cussed her. She had every right- and considering some of the things I said, still does- to hate me, to push me away and go through with the abortion anyway. But she didn't and now she's letting me prove to her that I will be a better husband, a better father, a better man… I know Daryl, and he wants to fix it, don't he?"

She held her coffee cup tightly in her hands and gritted her teeth, staring straight ahead even as they talked in hushed murmurs, "Its not that easy-"

"No, it's not," Rick agreed, looking at her evenly. "Not when you won't give him a chance to love you."

"How do you know I'm not just a difficult woman to love?"

He chuckled to himself and raised his mug again, pausing so that he could speak, "Oh, no. I know that with as bullheaded and tough as you are, Daryl's a fucking saint…"

"And you're a piece shit," Evan said as she struggled not to smirk, hearing Rick laugh heartily at her.

There was a loud crash from the house then followed by a piercing scream that shattered their relatively calm morning, Evan not giving it another thought as she started running.

She and Rick hit the porch at the same time, the sheriff flinging open the door as Patricia called out for Hershel. It was not a good sign that he was missing, the former soldier knowing that in his state, he should have been with his family.

"Rick, take everyone who can run and go find the doctor- search every inch of this farm until you do," Evan said as she took control of the situation, turning the corner into the kitchen to find Beth unresponsive on the floor. "Jesus- James! Get in here," the former soldier shouted, hearing the footsteps in the hallway. She knelt down to assess the teen, pressing her fingers to Beth's throat before leaning down to try and listen to breath sounds, if there were any. She looked up at a horrified Maggie, searching her eyes for answers, "What happened?"

"We were just making lunch- she was fine. Well, not fine… but she was getting there. She had just stopped crying over mama… I thought she was okay now," the young woman replied, looking down at her sister and worrying with her bottom lip.

James came to assist Evan, coming to the same conclusion that she did and looking at her seriously.

"We need Hershel."


	30. Let Bygones Be Bygones

Evan stepped out onto the porch where Rick, Lori, Shane, Maggie, Glenn and Daryl were waiting, James following after her.

"Well," Lori asked in a clipped tone, her arms folded across her chest.

The younger woman just dried her hands and shook her head, sighing heavily, "Well, she seems like… she's in shock. Yesterday undoubtedly took a lot out of her and the girl looks damn near catatonic. We don't know what else to do for her."

"We need Hershel," James said as he echoed his earlier words, Rick shaking his head and holding up a flask.

"Not sure he's gonna be of much use to us if he's gotten his hand on more of this."

Maggie sniffled as she leaned against Glenn, looking at Evan evenly when she spoke. "He gave up drinking the day I was born… but I found that flask in his bedroom. I told Rick he's probably in town, holed up at the local bar," she murmured, everyone looking at her. "So… somebody's gotta go get him," the former medic said, wringing his hands as he looked at the group. Rick looked at his wife, his eyes searching hers for a moment, "Lori…" She shook her head, seemingly in disbelief that he would even ask for her permission. "No- no! I've had enough of you going off out there, and away from me! Every time you walk away, something bad happens! Just like the shooting, just like when you got trapped in Atlanta, just like when we got attacked by walkers," Lori protested, everyone trying not to look at them argue.

"I promised Maggie I would bring Hershel back," Rick replied plainly, his wife going silent. "And we need him for the baby."

Daryl seemed uncomfortable speaking in Evan's presence, the hunter sighing quietly, "I'm done looking for people, and I hate to say it, but Hershel's on my shit list right about now."

Evan looked at him and inclined her head, nodding more to herself than anyone else. "Then I'll go-" He cut her off with just a look, the woman feeling herself bristle underneath his gaze. However, she held her tongue, knowing that theirs was to be another heated conversation to be had in private, looking back at the others. "Glenn, I'd like it if you were the one covering me and Rick while we try- again- to talk some sense into Hershel when we find him. You're quick, good with a gun and you're good with getting in and out. Beth needs someone looking out for her, Daryl's made it clear how he feels and I… I want Shane here guarding the group," Evan continued without missing a beat, seeing how he looked at Maggie and nodded reluctantly.

"Fenris got a good sense of smell," Rick questioned as he saw the dog guarding where the twins and Carl were cleaning the weapons, Evan nodding confidently.

"Just get me a scent."

The group split up to get ready for the newest search, Daryl following behind Evan without saying anything until they were far out of earshot of the others. She paused and turned around to face him, folding her arms across her chest. "Look-" Evan raised her hand, trying to calm herself before speaking, "No, you look and you fucking listen good to what I have to say to you. You have already put me on the edge of losing my shit with everything that happened to Sophia and us fighting so I don't need this. Not when I have to be good for Rick and Glenn and Hershel right now. And I don't give a fuck what makes you think that you are entitled to tell me how the fuck things are going to be in this relationship- or whatever the fuck we've devolved into over the past twenty-four hours- but that shit stops right now! You will not dictate what I will and will not do, Daryl Dixon!"

"But I will make decisions for the good of this family," he snapped in reply, moving to look down at her as he fought to stay levelheaded. "Ya brought me into this family- our family- and that alone entitles me to a motherfucking choice, even in light of us being at odds! I'll be damned if our girls lose their ma because she's hell bent on taking all this shit head on, by herself! Yer being stupid!"

Evan bared her teeth menacingly, moving to poke him in the chest and pushing him back away from her. "Insult my intelligence or my ability to blow a hole in something, and see what happens. I am the wrong goddamn person to mess with, especially now! I'm doing my very best to try and get through all of this, but you fucking with me right now is not helping! You wanna fix our relationship, Daryl? Then stop treating me like I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, like I'm not making the best decisions for this group, like I'm not doing right by you and my daughters! I am a soldier, and I am going to do my part to keep y'all alive, even if it fucking kills me-" He grabbed her face, pressing his thumbs into her cheeks, "That! That right there is why I'm as fucking pissed as I am- ya don't give a shit if ya die doing something ya believe is right, but I do! I give a fuck, Evan."

She stared at him and exhaled, seeing the seriousness in his eyes. "Are we done? I have shit to handle," she murmured, looking away from him.

"Are ya gonna take care of yer self out there," Daryl asked evenly, seeing her eyes flash up to his once more. Evan nodded and set her jaw, pulling away, "Of course."

"Then we're done."

They moved to the tent, Daryl watching Evan change as he prepared her weapons, the couple exchanging a glance when she turned to face him. "I'll be here when ya get back," he said simply when they had exited their living quarters, seeing her shoulders relax slightly.

She didn't respond, the woman picking up Jude and kissing her forehead. "Mommy's gotta leave you for a little while, Jude. But she is going to come back to you- promise," Evan whispered as she brushed her lips over her daughter's head. The little girl only smiled before being passed to Daryl's arms, Jude snuggling against his chest like it was the only place she wanted to be.

Evan whistled for her dog then, Fenris bounding from underneath the RV with the twins behind him.

Rick bent down and gave him one of Hershel's shirts to sniff, the dog burying his snout in the fabric. The former soldier took a moment to kiss her girls, resting a hand on Kennedy's curls as she looked at Carter. "You're my oldest- by twenty-three minutes- so I'm leaving you in charge. Watch over your sisters and make sure that the three of you listen to Daryl. Understood," Evan asked, feeling the hunter's gaze settle on her.

"Yes ma'am."

Fenris barked and looked up at his owner, the way he was shifting his weight alerting her to his growing anticipation for the hunt. "Alright, let's get on the road and find him. We shouldn't take long," the sheriff said when he stood, looking at the ones being left behind.

"Grimes, watch out for my old lady," the hunter growled out, feeling several pairs of eyes on him.

The men exchanged a look before Evan and her companions started away, Daryl letting out a burdened sigh as she did so. He wanted to think that she had felt what that sigh was rather than heard it, the woman pausing for a moment. Glenn and Rick turned to look back at her, curious as to why she had stopped before seeing the look in her eyes.

Evan turned on her heels and went right to Daryl, throwing an arm around his neck. He knew that despite the brevity of the gesture, that she was gritting her teeth as she fought against her own inner demons. She stood on the tips of her toes, her lips brushing against his ears, "I can't say I love you, not right now. But I-"

He turned to press his lips to hers, moving to hold her cheek in one hand before releasing her.

"Just come back."

"I will," Evan replied, pulling out of arm's reach before nodding. "I promise."

She jogged back to the little red SUV waiting for her, sliding into the passenger seat beside Rick. They took off, the woman staring at Daryl's reflection in the side mirror as he slowly disappeared the further they got in driving away from the farm.

The ride was quiet as they watched the changing landscapes, Fenris sitting between Evan's legs, quiet and attentive.

"You know he believes in you, with all of his heart," Rick said seriously as the silence was shattered, looking over at Evan. "And that he's giving you so much shit because he loves you… because he feels like, as a man, that it's his job to protect his woman."

She scoffed and propped her leg up on the dashboard, one of her hands scratching behind her dog's ears. "Yeah, well I don't need a boy to handle my shit and he needs to know that. I'm not just going to take a step back and change who I am because Daryl has an image of how we should be stuck in his mind. I was not born to be June Cleaver- I am a goddamn soldier, Rick, a motherfucking warrior! Christ's sakes, I have to be able to take care of my fucking self and I am going to make damn sure that I do," Evan said in reply, meeting Rick's eyes as he sighed and nodded. "Because what if… what if?"

"Yeah, that's always in the back of my fucking mind, even more so now. If anything happens to Daryl or to any of you; y'all are… my family and I want to protect you. I want to be there for you and lead you: its who I am-"

Glenn reached up to squeeze her shoulder, nodding, "We understand. Shit, I encourage you being all difficult with your man- you're the only fucking person who's ever stood up to Daryl and… well, I enjoy the little pissing matches you two are so fond of."

The three laughed, Rick turning off of the highway into town and slowing down. "He's right, y'all are good together. Ain't never seen a woman as hardheaded as you go toe to toe with a man as tough as Daryl," the older man agreed, Evan turning back to look at Glenn. "Well, I'm not the only one dealing with a difficult… partner. You've got Lori and she is about as no-bullshit as a woman can get. And Glenn's got Maggie- she looks like a sweet girl, but I can tell just looking at her that she is going to give somebody hell if they ever hurt you or anyone else she loves. So we all got it- that kind of love that makes you fucking sick inside- and we got it bad."

"Ain't that the fucking truth," Glenn said as they pulled into town, staring out of the window at the town.

Evan opened the door and stepped out with Fenris, pulling her pistol, "Alright boy, take us to Hershel."

The men followed her in the car as she watched over the dog, letting him work the streets and search for Hershel's scent. She could tell the exact moment he picked up the trail, his tail curving upwards into an arch and Fenris taking off through the town.

She stopped at the foot of the bar steps, seeing Fenris scratching at the door as he alerted her to what he knew to be a definite hit.

"He's in there," Evan said with conviction, whistling to the dog and bringing him to her side.

Rick moved to push open the door, stepping inside the bar and looking at Hershel's back. Glenn and the woman followed after him, Evan closing the door behind her, "Hershel. We've come to take you home."

She moved to see the large glass of whiskey he had poured himself, sighing quietly as he looked at her.

"Beth collapsed, she's… damn near in a coma," Rick explained, moving to sit down beside Hershel. "Man, your daughter needs you."

The old man scoffed and shook his head, moving to knock back his drink. "No, she just needs to mourn Annette finally- something I denied her and Maggie both when I put her mother and brother in that God forsaken barn. I gave them false hope," Hershel said after he had drained the glass, moving to pour himself another.

"No such thing as false hope; God doesn't play that shit. And you- you thought there was a cure. You can't blame yourself for having some kind of faith," the woman replied, moving to take a seat at one of the small tables away from the bar. "Faith? When I first saw you running across my field with your boy in your arms, Rick, I had little faith he would survive. Little faith in my ability to save him… but he survived, even though we lost Otis. You and Shane made it back, Evan, and we saved Carl: that was the miracle that proved to me that miracles do exist. Only it was a sham, a bait and switch. I was a fool, and you people- you and Rick both- saw that. My daughters deserve better than that," Hershel replied, everyone's eyes on him.

They sat quiet as Hershel poured himself another drink, Evan envious of how easily he could numb himself. "Look, I promised Maggie that I would bring you home," Rick murmured, seeing how angrily the older man turned to look at him. "Like you promised that little girl?" Evan saw the sheriff attempt to keep his emotions in check, the woman quick to defend him, "You don't know anything about that Hershel, and you are the very last one who should throw something like that into Rick's face. We all made calls, doing what we thought was best for her- and although we failed, we still tried. Our people: Jude, Carl, Kennedy, Carter, Lincoln, T-Dog, Andrea, Dale, Carol, Shane, James, Glenn, Daryl… Maggie, Beth, Patricia, Jimmy… our people need someone to follow even when we no longer believe in ourselves. I'm ready to be whatever they need, and so should you."

Rick scratched at his scruff before continuing, meeting Hershel's eyes and sighing. "So what's your plan? You gonna finish that bottle, drink yourself to death and leave your girls alone," the sheriff questioned, looking at the half-empty bottle of whiskey.

"Stop telling me how to care for my family, my farm. You people are like a plague! I do the Christian thing, give you shelter, and you destroyed it all!"

Evan scoffed and watched him try to displace the blame from himself, shaking her head as she placed herself right in the middle of their bullshit, "The world was already in very bad shape when we met-" He turned to look at her, the pain in his face stark and unadulterated, Hershel's eyes locking with hers. "And you told me that, but I didn't want to believe you. When you told me that there was no cure, that these people were dead- not sick- I chose not to listen to you. But when Shane shot Lou in the chest and she just kept going at him… that's when I knew what an ass I've been. That Annette had been dead long ago and I was doing nothing more that I was feeding a rotten corpse! And then when I saw your face, Evan, and Rick's, and Glenn's and everyone else's when Sophia emerged from the barn. You lost hope- the hope of finding her alive… and the hope that God would protect your group's little girl. The hope that any of us could survive this plague, and I have lost that hope too… we are all going to succumb to this goddamn world. There is no hope for any of us."

"Maybe, but we can fight it for as long as we can," Glenn admitted honestly, the door to the bar flying open as his words faltered. Fenris let out a growl and moved to place himself between the group and the two strangers who appeared in the doorway, Evan standing.

"Jesus, they're alive."

Fenris let out a warning bark and the slimmer man turned to look at him, pulling out his pistol. "Hey, easy boy. Call your dog off- we just stopped in for a drink," he said, Evan hesitating for a moment before whistling to the German Shepard and bringing him to heel. "Who the fuck are you," she asked plainly, feeling the weight of her pistol more heavily as she listened to her instincts and judged the men a threat.

"Whoa, honey, no need to use the harsh tone with me," the man replied without dropping his gun, looking at the man beside him. "I'm Dave and this scrawny-looking douche bag is Tony."

"Eat me, Dave."

The thinner man laughed and sat down at the table across from Evan, kicking his boots up onto the table, "Hey, maybe someday I will… Hey sweetheart, what's your name? I like your pooch."

"Don't call me sweetheart," she said coldly, Fenris letting out a growl.

Rick stepped in to diffuse the building tension between the different factions, clearing his throat and gesturing to the group assembled there. "Her name is Evan, the dog is Fenris- like the mythical one. I'm Rick… the old man Hershel and the young man is Glenn. Where you fellas headed? Walkers are pretty heavy in this part of Georgia," the sheriff said, looking at Evan as he began to set shot glasses on the bar counter top.

"Walkers? That what you call them," Dave questioned, lighting up a cigarette.

Glenn nodded and set down the shotgun he had brought with him, leaning against the bar, "Yeah."

"That's good- I like that. Much better to say than lamebrains," the stranger laughed, his friend nodding in agreement as he looked at Evan. "More succinct." She felt uncomfortable with how the fat man was looking at her, resisting the urge to pull her pistol and settling back even further in her chair.

"How about that drink, boys?"

The sheriff passed out the shots, Dave holding his up and looking at Evan, "What, you don't drink honey?"

"Call me honey one more time," the woman said as she stood, Fenris moving with her as if he was one of her limbs. Rick called her name sharply and she quieted, crossing her arms over her chest. He turned back to the men and chuckled, apologizing for Evan's behavior. "Don't mind the missus. She ain't a drinker- can't handle the stuff," he smiled, lying fluidly as he stared down at his shot.

Dave started to toss back his drink before looking at Hershel, the older man sitting with his hands empty and the bottle of whiskey firmly shut. "How 'bout you, pal? You can't handle your liquor either," he joked, the farmer shaking his head as he laughed.

"No… I just quit."

"Great timing," the stranger said as he knocked back his drink, wincing before sitting down at the bar. His friend moved to stand uncomfortably close to Evan, the woman keeping him away from her back, lest he try and get the jump on her.

Dave sighed then and crossed his arms on the bar, looking at Rick. "You seem like you're the boss man around here. Where you from," he questioned, the sheriff chuckling as he shook his head. The gruff-looking stranger continued when he didn't get an answer, sighing, "Me? I came all the way from Philly: stopped a few places between here and there, though. First we stopped in D.C., heard there might be some kind of refugee camp, but the roads were so jammed we never even got close. We decided to get off the highways into the sticks, keep hauling ass. Every group we came across had a new rumor about a way out of this thing."

"One guy told us there was a coast guard sending in the gulf, sending ferries to the islands," Tony continued, sighing disappointedly. "And then we thought about Fort Bennington-"

Evan scoffed and shook her head, pulling the dog tags out of her shirt, "No luck there: place is overrun."

"Yeah, we met some grunt who said that too. And the latest was a rail yard in Montgomery running trains to the middle of the country, Kansas, Nebraska," Dave said, unceremoniously putting out his cigarette on the bar.

"Nebraska," Glenn questioned as the men looked at each other and exchanged a few laughs.

Evan looked at him, smirking as she shook her head and tried to put some distance between herself and the heavily stinking Tony without seeming obvious. "Low population, but a fuck load of guns," she murmured, everyone quiet after a moment.

"So what about you guys? Where you camped out at," Dave asked as everyone in their group tensed, the sheriff immediately taking the defensive. He looked at Evan and braced his hands against the counter, taking in the pointed look in her eyes that told him clearly to 'lie'. "We're, uh, part of a larger group that's out scouting." Dave's demeanor changed as he realized that they were not willing to openly discuss their living arrangement, the man scanning their faces, "What, you guys set up on the outskirts or something? You on a farm? Because we only got a few buddies guys with us and we could help out- protect each other, pool our resources, our manpower."

Evan stood off of the wall and shook her head, knowing that they were less likely to argue with a woman. "I'm sorry but that's not an option," she said forcefully, Dave turning to glare at her.

"Doesn't sound like it'd be a problem, bitch."

"Well, being a fuck head to the bitch in charge is a big fucking problem," Evan replied coldly through her teeth, seeing the man's eyes narrow as he stood. Rick stepped in again, wishing she could just keep her cool but knowing that her reactions always fit the situation, "Besides, we don't know anything about you."

Dave conceded and turned to look at Rick, nodding in agreement. "No, that's true: you don't know shit about us. You don't what we had to go through out there, the things we've had to do. I bet you've had to do some of those things yourself. Am I right? 'Cause ain't nobody's hands clean in what's left of this world. We're all the same," he said, trying to bargain with them even as Rick's face hardened.

He pulled out his gun and laid it on the bar top, trying to reach them from a different angle, "Not bad, huh? I got it off a cop."

"I'm a cop," Rick replied sharply, his demeanor cool and collected.

"Well, this one was already dead- mostly. Had to put him down… You know, that's all it is out there, fighting to survive and shit man, we're tired. We can't stay out there anymore; you- you know what it's like!"

The sheriff nodded and looked at Dave regretfully, sighing loudly. "Yeah, I do. But our farm is too crowded as is with our own people: I'm sorry. You'll have to keep looking," Rick said, Evan's hand flinching towards her gun as she saw the blood rise in the stranger's face.

She couldn't react fast enough when the gun was pressed to her head, Tony spitting his words angrily at Rick, "I'll shoot all four of you in the head and take your goddamn farm!"

Fenris made to lunge at him but Evan stopped him with a word, Glenn moving to pull her beloved dog away from harm.

The sheriff slowly and deliberately placed his hand on his gun, the tension in the bar palpable. "Get that gun off of her, now," he said, his eyes never leaving Evan's. Rick's gaze slowly shifted to Dave once he knew that he had gotten her attention, the woman blinking once to let him know that she understood. Her right hand wrapped around the handle of the gun she held behind her back, Evan flicking the safety off as she disguised the noise under a false sob. "No, he'll drop the gun when you tell us where the fuck we're going. So you just stay and get comfortable with your new friend, honey," Dave replied, clearly threatening them to reveal where the farm was hiding.

"I don't know," Rick said, a cold smirk on his face. "I hear Nebraska's nice."

"Nebraska… you're real fucking funny-"

Dave reached for the gun on the bar and Evan drew first, feeling the warm splash of blood against her face as Rick shot Tony down. The attempted shooter never even got a chance to pull the trigger before Evan put a bullet right between his eyes, panting angrily as his body fell with a thud, "I told you to call me honey one… more… time, mother fucker."

"Are you alright," Rick asked, holstering his gun as he looked at her, no hint of emotion on his face. She answered him with a sigh and knelt down to relive the man of his weapon, Fenris lunging forward to like the blood off of her face as he whined. "I know baby, I know. You wanted a piece of that ass, ain't that right," Evan whispered to her dog, rubbing him down quickly to reassure him that she was alright. She stood and looked at Hershel, needing to break the uncomfortable silence, "He's a guard dog- got him as a puppy in Iraq and he was raised by a squadron of fucking jarheads…"

"Fuck," Glenn said, staring at her as she faced the group with wide eyes. "Your nerves are fried."

Rick scoffed and started to pace, trying to get his own composure together, "Yeah, well, she had a gun pointed at her head, Glenn. That's understandable."

"What, you never shot a man dead before?"

The sheriff looked at Evan, scoffing loudly and moving to pour himself another shot. "I was a cop, not a killer," Rick replied, seeing the woman turn and look out at the descending darkness. She shrugged and started towards the door, "I went to sniper school; wasn't ever called a sniper, but anytime we got pinned down in a tight spot, I was the little grunt called in from the rear to get us out of it… Shit, days like today make me feel like I haven't even left the war."

"Let's leave this war then and head back," Hershel murmured, sobered by the events that had happened before his eyes.

Evan moved to open the door before Glenn whispered furiously for her to get down, rushing to bar the door with his body. She almost responded before hearing a car door slam, the other two men hiding as the woman moved to cover the dog's snout.

"Man, where the fuck are Tony and Dave?"

"I told you, I heard gunshots!"

She held her breath as she heard men moving to look in the windows before going to check elsewhere, thankful the shades looking directly upon the bodies were drawn. Glenn nudged her towards the bar and she slowly worked her way to Rick's side, expecting him to follow behind. However, no sooner had he moved than the footsteps returned, the young man swearing quietly. "We should check in this fucking bar- assholes probably got piss drunk," one of the voices said, trying to open the door Glenn was currently in. "Hey!" The group heard guns being drawn and Rick swore silently before calling out to the men, "Stop- we have your friends in here! Lower your weapons!"

"Let us talk to them," the voice replied, Rick looking at Evan.

She raised her voice as she moved into a crouch, aiming over the bar, "Your friends drew on us, held a gun to my head! We had no choice!" Evan fired through the door at where she could hear the first man shift his weight on a creaky board, seconds before the windows of the bar exploded in a hail of gunfire.

"They are not letting bygones be bygones," Hershel said with a pronounced Southern drawl, three of them ducking to cover their heads.

"No, Hershel," Evan replied, looking up the best she could at him. "They are not."


	31. Shot In the Dark

Daryl smoked down the last of his cigarettes, leaning against the tree in front of his tent as he waited up for the group to return.

"Hey."

He looked down and to his left, Kennedy peering up at him innocently. "Hey kid- it's late. Why are ya still up? I that I told ya to go bed," Daryl said seriously, dropping the cigarette butt onto the ground and stomping it out. She pouted, crossing her arms over her chest and shaking her head. "I wanna wait until mom gets home, Daryl. I don't like going to sleep without making sure that she comes back safe… I would feel so guilty to have slept through the night if she died," Kennedy replied quietly, chewing on her bottom lip. Daryl reached out and placed a hand on her head, pulling her into a one-armed hug. He sighed and shook his head, looking at into the darkness, "Yer thinking much older than yer age kiddo, and ya shouldn't have to. Ya shouldn't have to worry about yer mom- she's the toughest fucking hellcat I've ever known."

"I know, and we're both lucky to have her…"

"Yeah, we are," Daryl replied quietly, Kennedy sighing as she let him go and walked a little ways away.

She looked up at the sky and seemed to contemplate something, turning around to look at him, "What's going to happen to us, if she dies? She almost died when our other mom turned and tried to bite her… what if next time, she doesn't get the shot off? What if she gets bit and she dies and she turns? I know that Jaime is going to want to take care of us then, but she- she would want us to stay together, me and Carter and Jude. So that means that you have to love us too, Daryl and take care of us."

"Hey. Come here," he said as he took a knee, pulling her into a fierce hug. Daryl kissed her forehead and sighed, hearing her shaky breathing. "I don't care what happens, no one is going to take ya or yer sisters away from me, understand? I told yer ma that I would love ya like my own and I meant that with all my heart. Ya always have me- and that's never going to change."

Kennedy reached out hesitantly to curl her fingers around his cheek, her bottom lip trembling in a way that reminded him of her mother. "Even when y'all get mad at each other?"

He looked her in the eye as he tilted her chin up, trying to push his conviction into every word he spoke, "Look, sometimes adults get mad over stupid things and I am not exempt from that. Yer mom and I love each other a lot, and we're going to work through our shit one way or another. So yes, even when Ev and I get mad at each other, ya still have me." Daryl released her and stood, sighing as he scanned the long drive for any sign of Evan. "Now, I want ya to go to bed Kennedy and get some sleep. Yer mom should be back before morning- and don't worry, I'm staying up 'til she gets here," he assured her, the young girl considering protest before sighing and nodding.

She stood on the tips of her toes and kissed his cheek, smiling sweetly, "Thank you."

The hunter was left alone once more, moving to pull over one of the chairs from around the fire pit, pulling out his knife and grabbing a stray piece of wood. He started whittling to pass the time, wondering rather darkly whether or not something had happened to Evan. Daryl should have known before he had ever gotten with her that she was not going to be a woman to sit on her ass and look pretty. She was stubborn and determined to pull her weight- something he knew that she held onto from her military days- more than ready to do whatever she could to help her group.

He just hoped that her ridiculous amount of willpower didn't backfire on her…

"You shot him," Rick asked in disbelief as he and Evan covered Glenn, the young man coming across the floor to where they were. She looked at him as if he were stupid, scoffing loudly, "They pulled their guns- they were gonna shoot anyway!"

The sheriff glared at her before turning to Glenn, jerking his head to the doorway behind the bar. "Check the back exit and I'll cover you-" Evan pulled the pistol from her pocket and knocked the safety off, handing it to Hershel. "You do it, old man. Rick, get that son of a bitch who keeps trying to tag me every time I raise my goddamn head," she said, Hershel sighing and doing as she said.

"I didn't know that he shot. I would have thought what he feels- well, felt for the walkers would put him off of handling guns," Rick replied as he stood and shot the silhouette who had had Evan pinned down, hearing a grunt of pain.

"He's a white farm owner who lives in Georgia. He knows how to shoot a fucking gun."

It went quiet after Rick shot the attacker, he and Evan both breathing hard in the silence, "If you just back down, nobody else has to get hurt!"

Evan's head whipped around as she heard movement behind her, leaning into the doorway of the room to quiet Glenn and Hershel, seeing the shadow outside of the window. "Glenn," the old man said, seeing him shoot at whoever was outside through the glass. Rick turned around to look at them but she waved him off, handling the situation with the other two men, "Try for the car. Hershel, watch over him."

Glenn went out of the door just as someone outside opened fire on both sides of the bar, the sheriff letting off several quick rounds before having to reload. Hershel shot at whoever had been firing on the younger man he was tasked with covering, hearing a heavy body hit the ground and moan in great pain. The footsteps retreated from the porch and Rick moved to where the old man was kneeling, Evan and Fenris behind him. "What the hell happened," he asked Hershel, peering out into the alleyway to look for Glenn.

"I think… he was hit."

A truck pulled up at the end of the alley, and they could hear jumbled shouting before a loud scream pierced the night, the group bursting out into the darkness. Evan looked at the end in the opposite direction of where they had left their vehicle, seeing the approaching walkers who had been drawn by all the chaos, "We need to get out of this alley or they are going to funnel through-"

"We have to find Glenn," Rick hissed angrily, starting towards where the truck was racing away.

He stood from behind a dumpster and let out a sigh of relief that they were there, Glenn moving to pat her shoulder as he brushed past her. "Come on Evan, we need to get back to the farm," he whispered before looking to where her eyes were, taken aback by what he saw.

There was a young man- much younger than any of them- impaled on the wrought iron fence of the lot parallel to them, his screams of agony seeming exceptionally loud.

"Jesus!"

Rick and Hershel raced to look at the wound as Evan and Glenn cut down the walkers around them, the woman looking over her shoulder to see how quickly he was losing blood. "Shit! That smell is only going to bring more of them and we are going to be overrun- we need to go," she said, speaking over Rick's shoulder as she tried to bring him along.

"Look at him! I can't just leave him to die!"

She looked at Rick right before turning around to put down a walker, starting to feel the exertion, "Then put him out of his fucking misery- he fired on us! And there always has to be casualties in war."

Glenn brought the car around and threw open the passenger door, looking at his group. "Guys! There is a herd on its way here," he shouted, leaning over to meet Evan's eyes. She turned to look at the screaming teen before moving to grab the hatchet out of the car, Fenris slipping past her, "You're right Rick, we can't let him die like this. So we're gonna cut off his damn leg-"

That only made the young man scream harder, Hershel trying to quiet him so that he wouldn't bring anymore walkers. Rick shot one of the walkers that came up from the other side of the fence for the teen, looking back at Evan. "Looks like the only option we got." Hershel looked at him and shook his head, looking at the badly mangled leg, "No, you can't do that-"

"We don't have a choice! We need to get the fuck out of here," Glenn said as he looked at the approaching walkers in his rear view mirror, trying to hurry them. "Look, he will bleed out before we have a chance to do anything and the scent of blood- accompanied by his dying screams- will only draw more of them. We can't leave him here," Hershel replied, looking at Evan as the boy continued to scream. "You can't cut off of my leg! Don't cut off my leg!" They all looked at the young man and Evan swore before she and Rick both jerked up the kid's leg to pull it free. She nearly vomited with the sickening sound of flesh ripping, ripping one of her shirt sleeves to tourniquet the wound.

She and Rick put him into the trunk, both knowing that they shouldn't be taking him back to the farm but going with their gut feelings. Evan slammed the lid down on him and she jumped into the back seat with Hershel, Glenn pulling off with tires smoking as several undead hands slammed against the windows.

They jumped into the car and sped out of town, sitting in silence much like how they had arrived.

"Boy needs to be patched up before we turn him back out- he can't just join the group, you know," Evan said, her arms folded across her chest. Rick didn't turn around to look at her before agreeing, staring out the window, "Not after he just tried to put a few bullets in us. I don't want him knowing where we're going either- blindfold him."

Evan tore off her other shirt sleeve and turned around to look at where the teen was moaning in pain, staring out through the hatch at the walkers they raced past. "Hey, what's your name, kid," she asked, the young man looking up at her.

His bottom lip trembled as he tried not to cry in front of her, his dark eyes meeting hers, "Randall."

"Well Randall, today's your lucky day. If it weren't for Rick and the little agreement he and I have, I would have left you as a human shish kabob for the fucking geeks. We're gonna take you back to our camp and we're going to fix you up, but after," Evan said lightly, a fair amount of venom woven through her words. "You and I are going to have a nice little talk about how you tried to shoot me and my men…"

She blindfolded him and settled in for the rest of the ride, anxious to get back to the farm.

The adrenaline from the day's ordeal was ebbing away and Evan could recognize just how badly she was starting to feel, doubling over in her seat to try and alleviate the headache that had come on quickly and without warning.

It was quiet as they parked but she could hear people moving to greet them, her door being yanked open unceremoniously. Evan couldn't even speak or really sit up before two muscular arms had wrapped around her in a suffocating bear hug, the scent letting her know that it was Daryl.

"Sorry," he said before pulling away suddenly, stepping back both to look at her and give her space. "I wasn't thinking- I was just worried outta my fucking mind about ya. It's almost light and I thought…"

Evan looked up at him and shook her head, regretting it immediately as the pounding inside of her skull intensified. "No, it's okay Daryl. Didn't mean to worry you," she said, climbing out of the car and moving towards the trunk.

"But this," Evan murmured, looking at the group as they crowded around to look at Randall. "Might be cause for some concern."


	32. Between Us

Daryl was watching her carefully as she treaded back from using the bathroom, one of Evan's arms held tightly around her midsection. He had noticed that something was wrong when he had gotten out of the car, seeing her move slowly as if she had been in some sort of pain. Glenn had filled him in on what had happened while they were in town, the hunter unable to keep himself from hovering.

"What? You watching me pee now," Evan asked as she approached where he was leaning against a nearby tree, running her fingers back through her hair.

He ignored her snide comment and reached out to run his hand down her arm, speaking quietly, "Are ya alright? I mean, I know that ya said ya were earlier… but I can look at ya and I can see that yer not. What's the matter, Ev?"

"I'm tired," she said honestly, looking up into his eyes. "I'm just… tired."

Evan reached up to rest her hand over his for a moment before moving towards the house, knowing that they needed to be at the meeting. The pair entered the house just as Hershel came down the stairs and paused to talk to Evan, the woman moving to look at him. "How is he," she asked with her voice full of concern, reaching up to tuck her hair behind her ears.

"Well, I've sown him up the best I could but he'll probably have a noticeable limp for the rest of his life. Considering the alternative, I'd say the boy is lucky," Hershel replied, drying his hands with a small towel. "And Beth?" The older man looked at her evenly, sighing quietly, "I will take care of her."

"Well… we should get to the meeting then," Evan said in response, moving to stand in the kitchen.

With the group assembled, Rick stood and explained the situation surrounding Randall, his partner scanning the faces before them carefully. As soon as he had finished talking, the arguments started, Shane right at the forefront of the dissenters. "We can't just- just fix him up and take him back out there! He'll go right back to his group and tell them where the farm is: you're about to start a war," the deputy shouted while standing, Evan seeing Rick's fingers flinch towards his gun. She moved forward and pulled it off of his hip, looking at Shane as she stepped between them, "Hey! Rick has made it very clear that your opinion doesn't matter anymore- you do not make decisions for this group."

"He deserves a chance to heal, to be able to protect and fend for himself before we just send him away," Dale said, the compassion evident in his voice.

Evan's eyes flickered to his face and she nodded in agreement, revealing her stance on the situation to all. "I was willing to let him die out there, impaled on a fence post… but then I realized that I am not an animal and I am not a monster. There is no honor in playing any part in a man's death when he can't defend himself- and so he was spared. We need to remember our humanity, no matter how short the supply seems these days," she murmured as she moved to brace her hands against the table. Rick looked at her almost as if to question her, the woman only shaking her head and sighing.

"Your so-called 'honor' is gonna get somebody killed-"

Hershel slammed his hands down on the table as he looked at the angry man, his eyes narrowed, "Let me make this perfectly clear to you once and for all Shane: this is my farm. Now I wanted you gone but Rick and Evan talked me out of it. So do us all a favor and keep your mouth shut!"

The deputy took one look at him before throwing a chair and storming out of the house, the rest of the group turning back towards their leaders.

"We'll put it to a vote," Rick said after the commotion and upset had passed. "You can take your time to think it out, weigh the options and then in a day or two, we'll come back together to decide."

With the meeting over, Daryl stood from his place leaning against the counter and stepped towards Evan, seeing the steely glint in her eye. "Can we talk? Things don't feel settled between us," he murmured, his voice barely heard over the shuffle of feet. She just raised up from the table and shook her head, her eyes meeting Lori's, "Things aren't settled between us- I haven't forgiven you, Daryl. But we can't talk right now; I have some things to handle elsewhere."

The two women left the house, Evan silent as she led Lori to the currently still empty campsite- however, she knew that the rest of the group would be coming along shortly and that they needed to talk fast.

"Mind telling me why we needed to talk so urgently," Lori questioned, her arms folding across her chest. The younger woman knew that she was not stupid and that Lori already knew what she had to say, Evan gritting her teeth, "Lori, I've had a rough day and I do not need your self-righteous bullshit right now!"

"Yeah, but you came to me."

Evan glared at her coldly, her headache seeming to intensify from the effort as she tried to restrain herself. "And you already know. You knew the day you came into my tent to pick up the pregnancy tests-"

"Which is why I saved the second one for you," the older woman said, moving towards her tent to retrieve it.

When she returned, she held it out to Evan, seeing her hesitate for a moment. And then she had turned to walk away, pregnancy test clutched tightly in her hand, needing her privacy. She found a close outcropping of trees away from camp and the usual places most of them used to do their business, her fingers pulling at her belt. Evan kept doing the math in her head, dates and numbers flashing behind her eyes as she thought back over the weeks.

Those two minutes were torture, hearing the far off sounds of the group going about their morning, the former soldier counting off the minutes with the cadences of her past. And then she raised the pregnancy test from where she had placed it on the ground, her eyes fixed on the two faint, but very much pink lines.

She could feel the blood drain out of her face, Evan standing on weak knees, unmoving as the shock kicked in. In all honesty, with as much as she had been feeling in the days leading up to that moment, it shouldn't have shocked her- but it did. And she couldn't help the denial that set in, her mind seeming to scream at her even though she had already known.

Evan doubled over, her hand flying up to pull her hair back and away from her face as reality crashed into her. She barely heard the crunch of leaves over the sound of her heaving, the tears running down her face hot and damning.

"Evan."

He stared at her back as she sobbed and braced her hands on her knees, allowing her head to hang. She took a few gulping breaths before she spoke, her voice thick with emotion, "Go away Daryl. I can't talk to you right now."

"No, ya need to talk to me," Daryl insisted quietly, taking a half step towards her. "And ya will, whenever ya feel like it- I can stand here all day until ya do. Because I ain't going nowhere, even though we're fucked up right now. Because yer my woman, Ev, and yer upset and that's not okay. Its my job to protect ya from whatever is wrong, to fix whatever is wrong."

"You can't fix this, not this time. I'm pregnant."

The hunter took a step back away from the bed, in stunned disbelief, his eyes searching hers. "No, that ain't true. Ya can't be pregnant," Daryl said almost bluntly, his arms coming to cross over his chest. He and Evan looked at each other for a moment before he let out a heavy breath, allowing his eyes to flicker upwards towards hers briefly. He remembered so long ago almost longing for a baby when he had first met Evan, and the look in her eyes- though clouded with hurt at his blatant rejection of her words- embodied everything that he had felt in wanting that with her. "Why… why didn't ya tell me," he asked quietly, an uncomfortable strain wavering between them. Evan looked to stare at the sky, chewing on her bottom lip for a moment. "I didn't- Daryl, I didn't want to think that it was… true. That day that Andrea came into the tent for a tampon I realized that I was late and I started thinking, 'oh shit, Daryl and I fucked about a week and a half ago and fuck, I was ovulating. And damn, I'm late.' We didn't use a condom Dixon and you made sure that you were good and deep when you came that day we were in the woods. That's when I got myself knocked up- I've done the math about a hundred times in the past couple for days."

"But are ya sure? Sure that it was that day and not… any day before that ya got pregnant," he asked quietly, her eyebrow furrowing as she tried to figure out what he was truly asking. "There have been two men I have been intimate with in the past six months- my husband and you. And I couldn't have been pregnant before I met you because I had my period after Danny died and before I met you, and another while we were still back at the train cars. So no, its not anyone else's and yeah, I'm sure," she murmured, moving so that they were face to face with one another.

Daryl's eyes were narrowed into slits, the hunter taking a deep breath before speaking, "So ya have known or at least suspected that you were pregnant… and still, ya took my baby out there when ya went to get Hershel? Ya had a gun to yer head and his!"

"Don't fucking talk like that," Evan said through her teeth, her eyes as narrowed as his. "It doesn't even matter-"

"Then I guess what does is whether or not yer gonna keep it? Since ya don't seem to give a fuck about her."

She took a half-step back, shocked by the blunt nature of his harsh words, unable to even entertain the idea of an abortion. "Wha- what?" He seemed hurt by her speechlessness, knowing that she hadn't expected for him to just cut to the chase. "Well, fuck- that tells me about as much as I need to know… And the fucked up thing about it is that I actually prayed for God to help bring us closer, the way we were just days ago. Now ya want to get rid of our kid," Daryl said angrily, moving to pace before her.

"Daryl."

"I mean, all I wanted was for us to be happy. I've tried to be good and I've tried to live right and it hasn't been… enough. All the bad we've seen together, all the shit we went through, all the things we've learned and it is still not enough for ya! What is it gonna take, huh? We had a fight, so fucking what Evan? I love ya and because yer mad, now yer punishing me by taking away my baby, my flesh and blood-" She called his name again and he all but ignored her, the young woman folding her arms across her chest as she worried with her bottom lip. Daryl just ran a hand back through his shaggy hair, looking like he was trying not to cry, "I just want my fucking baby and yer taking her away from me. Before… all of this shit with Sophia and the barn, I didn't even consider being a father to anyone other than yer girls. I thought that they were it for me, that they would be the only children I would ever have. And now, knowing that I created a life with ya? I've never wanted anything more than this. I'm sick to my goddamn stomach…"

Evan cut him off as she called his name again, placing herself directly in the middle of the path he was walking so that he had no choice but to look at her. He felt uncomfortable after exposing so much of himself, but he waited with bated breath for what she had to say, the young woman exhaling heavily. "Are you okay now? Can you take a goddamn breath," Evan asked quietly, the worry in her voice for him surpassing all that Daryl had heard for herself- even despite the harsh tenor to the words. It was clear that she cared more about his current state than her own, the former soldier reaching out tentatively to press her hand against his chest.

Once he had done what she had asked, she stared down at the ground between him, unable to meet his eyes, "I didn't mean to answer your question like that, Daryl. You just caught me off guard with how you said that I didn't care and I didn't have a chance to process much of anything before you asked me if I was going to keep the baby. While I have been mean and selfish these last few days, you need to know that in light of all this, I'm done with fighting you. And I want you to know too, that I want him and that I wouldn't lie to you about this. When I told you I loved you for the first time, I meant that. I meant that I loved every little piece of you and that I would hold you at night, protect you, relieve you when your hurts are at their worst.

"Having this baby growing inside of me… this is the closest we could ever come to be being one. And I want that with you, I want to be tied to you in that one, complete and utterly perfect way. And even if there were one, tiny little part of me that felt like it were better, to spare ourselves and our child the pain of living a short, cruel life in this world, to… kill him, I will not have let myself come before you. So yes, I am keeping our baby!"

She was standing in front of him, her chest heaving as she fought against the urge to cry, her hands balled into fists at her side. Daryl let the words sink in for a moment, letting himself hear the conviction in her voice as they stood before each other. And then he folded her carefully inside of his arms, hearing the vicious sobs tearing from her when she buried her face in his chest. "I'm sorry," he said over and over, feeling her slump into his embrace.

Something felt raw about the moment, as if they were… believing whole-heartedly in the other for the first time, truly knowing that the love they felt for each other knew no bounds. Daryl felt it more profoundly, always having had those doubts that she could find it in her heart to honestly love him, after all that she had been through and lost.

Evan found the strength to speak, knowing that he needed the assurance of their future to be said aloud for both of them to hear and know, "We're going to be okay Daryl, I promise."

And for once he knew that, yes, he could trust in that.


	33. Angels

Rick looked across the campfire at the last ones still up after dinner, the heat from the flames shimmering in the air.

James sat beside Andrea, one arm casually draped across her shoulders as he held a Bud Lite on his knee. Only a few feet away were Evan and Daryl, the both of them leaning against one another, his cheek resting on her crown. No words were exchanged between any of them, everyone seeming to be caught deeply within their own thoughts to the point that they did not even acknowledge the silence.

"It's starting to get cool, weather-wise," he murmured, seeing the light sweater that Andrea wore.

Evan didn't even look away from the fire as she spoke, her words quiet, "Not tonight, Rick. Ain't got enough left in me to tackle that issue tonight."

"Yeah, we should get ourselves to bed sooner or later," Daryl agreed, lifting his head and sighing. She nodded and stood, smoothing down her shirt almost self-consciously. Evan gave him her hand and Daryl followed after her, stretching out his sore, tired muscles as she half-smiled. He didn't miss the quizzical look she gave him when he spoke, giving her a gentle push towards the tent, "Go on and get ready. I'll be after ya in a minute."

"Don't keep me waiting."

She stood on the tips of her toes and pecked his lips gently before going to check on the girls in their tent, disappearing into her own after a few moments.

Daryl looked at Rick and jerked his head over away from the tents, both of the men moving in that direction. The sheriff looked out over the farm, his hands on his hips as he kicked at the ground uncomfortably.

"She's pregnant too, ain't she?"

The hunter turned to stare at the man he was coming to know as a friend, nodding slowly before he sighed. "Yeah, not sure how to feel about it though. Just feels… wrong, somehow, bringing a baby into all of this. Seems kinda cruel almost," Daryl muttered, his arms crossed over his chest almost defensively. Rick only shook his head, taking a moment before he spoke next, "Life has to go on. We can't let things like right and wrong stop us, not now."

"I have to take care of her, ya know. Evan isn't one for the traditional female role, but that's my flesh and blood inside of her, and that baby- my own little girl- is all the family I got left. I don't want anyone to ever hold a gun to Evan's head again or have her in the middle of a fucking shootout… I want her safe. I want all of them, no, all of us safe; and I'll do just about anything to have that."

"You know, she's not just going to lay down and roll over, even for you- the person she is probably most willing to die for. I hate to say it but Evan isn't a woman that is used to hanging back and looking after the children, and she doesn't want that," Rick said with a hard edge to his voice, chuckling once humorlessly. "You're going to have a hell of a time taking the gun out of her hand."

Daryl scoffed and pulled the pistol off of his hip, holding it out for Rick to see. "Ain't so hard when she's having a… docile moment. Look, I'm just saying that I'm going to help her and we're going to help ya. I'm gonna take some of this burden off of her shoulders- I don't want to be a leader and I don't want anyone in the group looking at me for answers, but I can do the grunt work. Whatever y'all need, I'll do it Rick," the hunter said, meeting the eyes of the sheriff evenly.

"And I mean absolutely anything."

Evan poked her head out of the tent, calling out for Daryl as she waited for him to come to bed. He put the gun back on his hip and gave Rick one last glance before turning towards his sleeping quarters, leaving the sheriff to his thoughts.

He could feel her eyes search his face as he ducked into the tent, Evan starting to say something before thinking better of it. She just reached out and started to undress him, humming quietly as she worked, calm and unhurried. Daryl flicked his hair out of his eyes when she pulled his tee shirt over his head, receiving a chuckle from her.

"Looks like you could use a haircut honey," Evan teased, turning her back on him to put his clothes away.

Daryl caught a flash of her backside with the way her sleep shirt rode up, his voice gruff, "Ya can cut my hair the moment ya agree to take it easy until the baby gets here."

She tried to ignore the way his hands felt on her thighs, straightening up and sighing to strengthen her resolve. "You aren't about to sit here and nag the fuck out of me about taking care of myself and the kid for the next nine months, are you? Because you can let me know now and I will kindly move into the next tent over-" Evan found herself silenced by a kiss when she turned to face him, her hands coming to rest over his as he held her face.

"Yer not moving anywhere," Daryl replied firmly, feeling her nodding even as she repeatedly pressed her lips to his.

"No, I'm not going anywhere…"

He reached out to knock the lantern off, trying to find the off switch even as she kissed and bit his neck hotly. "Hey, let me do this-" Daryl managed to get the light out before she knocked him back onto the pallet, straddling his waist and pinning his shoulders to the floor. He was caught off-guard by how forceful she was being, Evan raising up to pull her shirt over her head with a smirk. She shook out her curls and looked down at him just as Daryl sat up, pulling her down into his lap.

Evan groaned as he threaded his fingers in her hair, fire facing down her spine when he pulled her face back to his. He claimed her lips possessively, thankful that she was already naked when he rolled them over, his free hand moving with purpose up her thigh. Her almost silent gasp was like music to his ears, Daryl pressing himself against her as his fingers went to work, the want twisting inside of his stomach like a vicious serpent. She wrapped an arm around his shoulders and did the same with her legs around his hips, pulling him flush against her. Her voice was hot in his ear, Evan struggling to speak clearly between her soft groans of utter contentment as she dug her nails into his shoulder, "If you don't fuck me already-" She wasn't able to finish her sentence before he had buried himself within her, pulling away for only a moment to drive into her once more with a powerful urgency.

They rolled over and over, back and forth across their makeshift bed, Evan doing all that she could to keep the noise down, going as far as to cover Daryl's hand with her mouth when she had again gotten him onto his back. She continued to rock her hips against his as she stared down at him, the way his eyes dilated seeming hot and animalistic- as if she was the only thing that could truly strip him down from all he was as a person to the primal creature he truly was.

"Evan," he warned, seeing her eyes roll upwards as her hips faltered. She only bit down on her lip to hold back the cry threatening to tear her throat, straining towards her completion. Daryl rolled them so that he was resting in the cradle of her hips, giving her handful of covers that she promptly brought to her face to muffle the shout of release, a pronounced tremor racing down her legs. He only moved to bury his face in her neck, holding her body tight against his own as he followed after her into complete oblivion.

She held him as he fell limp in her arms, her mouth feeling uncomfortably swollen as she tried to catch her breath. "My sweet baby," Evan drawled pleasantly, playing with the hair at the nape of his neck as he dismissed her with a soft grunt.

Daryl took a few minutes before he felt like moving, moving to rest beside his woman's inviting heat and letting out a satisfied exhale. "Was that ya 'punishing' me for making ya wait while I was talking to Rick," he asked curiously, lacing his fingers behind his head. Evan sighed and moved to rest her cheek on his chest, reaching out to run her hand up and down his stomach, "No Daryl, that was to show you exactly what you're going to miss every night if you keep fucking with me. I worked with Jude until I was nearly eight months before they kicked me out and put me on maternity leave- but we are in a very different world now and none of us can afford any weakness in the people around us. So let me take care of me-"

"Evan, it ain't just ya anymore," Daryl replied quietly, reaching out to press his hand to her stomach gently. "This is my girl too and I gotta take care of her. Don't make me chose between that and getting to fuck ya- its cruel."

She scoffed and rolled over onto her side, turning her back to him. "I'm a big girl Dixon and this is not my first rodeo: being pregnant really isn't a big deal. You don't have to worry and you don't have to be uber-protective over me either. I've got this," the former soldier replied, feeling his arm come around her tightly.

"Yeah, but in the case that ya fuck up, I've got ya."

"Mmhm. Good to know…"

* * *

Daryl woke up before she did, moving to look at her but laying still otherwise as he listened to her breathing. Sometime in the night they had rolled from where they had spooned, the both of them practically face to face now even with Daryl's arms around her.

He had never been in love with anybody before her and the very thought of being one of those mushy, romantic guys made him want to put a bolt in his crossbow and put it to his head. But still, he knew that regardless, Evan was everything to him. Ever since he had learned that they were having this baby, the entire world felt like it had shifted for him- just a little bit- but nothing had changed. She was still just Evan: smartass soldier and mom she had always been, and he was still Daryl.

And he was happy.

The hunter gazed down at her sleeping form again, wondering if he would feel like this every morning for the rest of his life and half-smiling contentedly to himself.

Someone dropped a pot outside then, Daryl listening to the sound of heavy boots as Shane swore loudly.

Evan jerked away, propping herself up on her forearms as she spoke hoarsely, "Daryl?"

He reached out and drew the mess of tangles away from her face before allowing his fingers to brush across her naked shoulder, the woman turning towards him. "I'm right here, baby. Good morning," the hunter murmured quietly, leaning over to kiss the top of her unruly curls. His hand moved to tighten around her hip and she allowed him to pull her closer, pressing herself against his chest.

"Sounds like everyone is up," Evan murmured, her voice low and drowsy from sleep. "But I don't wanna get out of bed."

He chuckled and pulled himself up into a sitting position, stretching out the remnants of sleep. Daryl cast a glance over his shoulder at her, seeing her tangled in their blanket, looking far too much like a boudoir photo. Her lips were soft and pliable when she pulled him down for a morning kiss, Daryl pulling the covers back up around them. "We'll have to leave the tent eventually," he murmured, hearing her sigh even as she reached up to touch her fingers to her swollen lips. "I'm not leaving the tent with my mouth looking like this-" He grinned and kissed her, remembering how possessive it felt to have his lips dominating hers.

"No, ya got a cute mouth, baby. I love yer mouth."

"Yeah, I bet you do," Evan replied with a smile, allowing her head to drop back onto the pillows. He let his fingers brush gently along the curve of her cheek, stroking her hair back away from her face and sighing. "When I woke up and saw your face, I realized that aside from my kids, you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. I've never felt so at peace, so myself, so… happy than when I'm with you."

The hunter just looked down at her for a few moments before hearing the zipper on the flap, sighing, "Who is it?"

"It's me," Carter said before peeking into the tent. "Mrs. Lori wanted to see if you were getting up today because Mr. Rick needs to talk to you, mom."

Evan sighed and rolled over onto her back, stretching out her arms, "Tell them to give me five minutes." She stood once her daughter had gone, moving towards the clothing bin to pull out some clothes. Daryl watched her dress in a pair of fatigue pants, the woman tugging a blank tank top over her head before pulling her fingers through her hair. She picked up her gun and toothbrush to finish her morning routine, getting out of the door within the five minutes she had allotted herself.

There was an unreadable look in Rick's blue eyes as she scanned his face, feeling her gaze settle weightily on him for a moment before she turned away. The sheriff stood from his place beside Lori, resting a hand on top of his son's head before kissing her cheek. She watched him retreat towards the barn, Evan falling into his steps once she had gotten done using the bathroom and brushing her teeth.

They came to a stop at a shack hidden in the tree line, Evan staring at the padlocked door with her arms folded across her chest.

"He's in here for the time being. James said that he needs about a week and a half to be able to get around on it but the kid can barely stay conscious for more than an hour or two," Rick murmured, the woman sighing heavily. "A week and a half. That's a lot of food, a lot of medical supplies and a fuck ton of energy spent watching him for a would-be assassin had his aim been any good. Are you willing to risk that?" Rick debated that for a moment before taking a few paces, pausing and looking thoughtfully at the door, "Every person we keep alive is one less walker to fight."

Evan chuckled humorlessly and shook her head, even as she knew he was right. "When he gets enough strength to stay awake for a stretch of time, I want to talk to him. I want to know where exactly he came from, who his group is, the layout of their camp and any other useful information I can get out of him so that we protect this farm," she said almost gruffly, staring at the door as she remembered the shootout at the bar.

"Get out of him?"

She just smirked without elaborating, taking a look around at the trees before sighing, "Leaves are starting to change already. That's not good."

"Yeah, and the winter's gonna be worse. Food's gonna go quickly if we don't stockpile now and ration it later; people are gonna freeze unless we can get Hershel to let a few of us stay in the house or otherwise find actual shelter… And the worst thing about it is that Lori's gonna be about seven and a half months in December. She deserves to be warm and comfortable, in a place she calls her own, without any worries other than being the best possible mother she can be. You deserve that too, Evan," Rick murmured, moving to take a seat on a tree stump and looking at her. She only shook her head and kicked up a clod of loose earth, trying to not let herself think about the little, materialistic things she so wanted for. "That's a whole jar of snakes that we don't need to open right now, partner. Its pressing, I know, but we can put that off long enough to deal with this fucking kid. This whole situation is going to test a lot of things this group is in serious need of: hope, right and wrong, where they stand in this world… their basic humanity. There are some people I think are inherently good, others confused or unsure, still one or two who believe that everything that mattered in this world has died and one who I think has not a ounce or shred of humanity left in him." He was caught off-guard by her frank and accusatory words, looking up at her evenly, "Shane has been my best friend since I was a kid. True, he may have changed in the aftermath of the fucking world falling apart and practically ending, but who hasn't changed? Who hasn't had one bad day where they flip the fuck out and decide that pissing everybody off is exactly what they want to do thatday? You've had one of those days Evan- what you don't see is that this isn't Shane, that he is so much different than this. You don't know him."

"No, you don't know him," Evan answered sharply, moving to take a knee in front of Rick so that they were at eye level. "You're deluded by the past, by your bond with him, so much so that you can't see the… man he is now. Rick, he slept with your wife- he may have thought you were dead, but how is that okay with you? Before Danny died, he made James swear not to touch me under the threat of coming back for him. Now that, that's how it's supposed to be when a man leaves his wife in the care of his friend. They're supposed to have each other's back and not let their own needs come before that brotherhood! And Dale said that once when y'all were back at your first camp that while hunting or patrolling through the woods, he caught Shane with a rifle leveled at the back of your head. He's beyond sure that the only reason the trigger wasn't pulled that day was the fact that he saw Shane… and Shane saw him. That day at the school, when we came back without Otis, when Shane came back without a chunk of hair? Otis pulled that out, Rick, when he was going down after Shane probably shot him to distract the walkers so he could get away. I didn't say anything then, but I can feel whatever darkness is inside of him just building and building. You can call him afflicted or changed by the circumstances we find ourselves in, but the fact of the matter is that he doesn't give a fuck about anyone or anything other than himself, what he thinks is right and what he wants and what he wants to do. Shane fucked Lori. Shane leveled a rifle at your head. He killed Otis. He opened that barn. He is selfish, reckless and above all, extremely dangerous. And one day, one day very soon he is either going to kill somebody or somebody's gonna have to kill him."

Rick stood, a dangerous glint in his eye as he looked at her, making sure that she heard every word. "Shane is not your problem here- he's mine. And I will deal with him, understand? I'm not about to choose between the two of you so you might as well stop it now. He's my friend and he will get his shit together one way or another. But until then, stay the fuck away from him because I'm not about to let you kill him over rumors, lies and misunderstandings," the sheriff said, satisfied that she had been thoroughly warned and dealt with when he started to walk away. However, he stopped dead in his tracks when she spoke, a lilting sort of humorless laughter in her voice.

"Oh honey, I wasn't talking about me: I was talking about you. Yeah, I've seen the way you look at him every time he challenges you… Shane might be worried about me right now, but it's you he should really keep an eye on. You may be a sheriff, on the side of good in all of this, but at least I never forget that you aren't an angel."

He turned to face her, feeling the hard set to his features as Evan pulled her gun from her hip. She ejected the round from the chamber and put the safety on before sliding the pistol back into her waistband, the former soldier taking one last glance at the shack door.

Rick looked after her when she brushed past, trying to reign himself in from the anger he had felt from her being so quick to read him- to see right through him.

"Funny how even though you're a soldier, you're not an angel either."

She paused to face him, her arms spread wide as if to challenge him, "I never said I was."


	34. Its Kill or Be Killed

"Again!"

Evan launched a barrage of kicks at James as they waited for lunch to be cooked, the medic feeling the force behind her blows even through the thick padding of his sparring gloves. He blocked a shin aimed at his head before she set in with her hands, breathing hard as he continuously took the fists from where they were aimed at his body. One of her hands slipped by and Evan caught him in the ribs, the tough man wincing in pain as she jumped back.

"That was good," James wheezed, moving back until he could sit in one of the lawn chairs. "You've got fast hands, that's for sure. Take five."

"Yeah, I'll take five while you sit there and nurse that rib, love."

She laughed before pressing a kiss to his temple and walking past him, catching a bottle of water Daryl tossed to her. The hunter braced his hands on the hood of the RV, looking at her and sniffing self-consciously. "Ya feel warm yet?" Evan nodded and passed him the last half on the bottle, reaching up to drag her forearm across her face, "I'm ready, just give me a second to let the girls know I'll be gone for a little while."

The former soldier ducked down into her daughter's tent, seeing Lincoln and Carl sitting with them. "Hey, Daryl and I have to go out for awhile to talk to that boy who came to the farm. I need the two of you to look after your little sister and stay where Lori can see you. Actually, you too Lincoln," she said, bracing her hands on her knees as she talked to them. Carter and Kennedy nodded, Jude toddling forward for a kiss as she called out for her mother. "Lincoln, have you heard anything from Jimmy about Beth?" He shook his head and Evan sighed, raising a hand, "Don't worry about it then, kiddo. I'll go up to see about them after I come back. See you Carl."

Evan passed by Rick as she moved back to Daryl's side, the hunter swinging a backpack over his shoulder and tightening his grip on his crossbow. The both of them paused for a second to hold his gaze before trotting off towards the slaughter shed, discussing their plan of action.

"I figure that fast, hard head shots will hurt the worst and it might just be enough to beat it out of him, but if Randall proves difficult, we can try other things. Breaking fingers always works, as does fire- that leg is probably the next place I'll go after getting his face, though," Evan murmured, reaching up to tie her hair up into a ponytail. Daryl shrugged and thought about the effectiveness of her plan, providing some constructive criticism, "No, don't do that. His pain threshold ain't high enough for that- he has been going in an out for a few days now with the pain despite the pills James gave him. I'm thinking as soon as ya set whatever nerve is damaged in that leg off, he's out again and we're gonna get nothing out of him. Ya best prime his face up when we get there and then step back to ask yer question while I work."

"You're a cocky son of a bitch Daryl…"

Randall looked up at the first daylight he had seen in almost two days, seeing the two bodies that moved to stand in the doorway. Daryl paused for a moment before moving to sit down on the stool beside a butcher's table, emptying the contents of his backpack.

She could hear the knife set being laid out on the table, hearing Randall start to breathe hard at the sight of them.

"Hey, what are those for? What are those for?"

He looked at Evan, remembering her face from the bar and immediately becoming afraid. "You said that you weren't gonna cut off my leg! You said that you weren't gonna kill me! If y'all just let me go, I promise that I won't say nothing to nobody- I don't even know your name," Randall pleaded, the woman moving to look down into his face. She pointed to her own and shook her head, scoffing, "But you know my fucking face and the faces of my friends; that's reason enough for me to kill you."

"But we ain't. Because we need something from ya first, Randall," Daryl said, standing as he took his vest and shirt off.

"Anything!"

The former soldier caught the gauze and tape that Daryl threw across the room, moving to rip strips off of the rolls with her teeth. She began to wrap her hands to protect her knuckles, speaking calmly and demandingly. "I want to know everything about you and your group- how you met them, how many people there are, if there are women and children. I want to know where they are, how they live, what your camp looks like. Where you eat, sleep, shit, drink, laugh, fuck: I want names, faces, strengths and weaknesses. I want to know how to get in and out, and I want to know who the fuck is in charge. I want every man's name that shot at me and the men I was with at that bar! And I am thoroughly prepared to beat you to death to get that information. Do not test me," Evan said menacingly, moving to stand in front of him.

Daryl settled back and crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Randall, "Tell us what ya know."

"I can't-"

He was silenced with a punishing backhand, Evan knocking the handcuffed young man over onto his side. Randall made an attempt to raise off of the floor before she put him back down again, her second blow drawing blood. She gave him three more punches before yanking him up into a sitting position, propping him up against the wall. "Do you really think that I'm kidding?" The hunter shook his head and knew that she was only going to get more brutal, repeating his request. When Randall refused again, Evan hit him until the left side of his face was swollen, pulling back to shake out her knuckles with a hiss.

The former soldier hit him with her left hand and dazed him, moving to pace the floor of the slaughter house. "You not talking is not gonna keep me from killing your dumbass- you're pissing me off and this is only going to get worse," Evan shouted, dragging him up by his hair and forcing him to look at Daryl. "That man right there, is going to cut it out of you if you keep stonewalling like this. Hedge your bets with me and you won't have to go through that."

"I can't talk to you," Randall sobbed, wanting desperately to protect his face. "If they find out, they'll kill me."

"And if you don't talk, we're gonna kill you so what difference does it make?"

The young man looked up at her and Evan sighed, standing and looking at Daryl, "You want the tape?" He stood, moving menacingly towards the bound prisoner and shaking his head. "No, I'll bare-knuckle it," Daryl replied before he punched Randall senseless, the boy's nose breaking underneath his fist.

He continued to beat him, growing increasingly bloodthirsty as he tried to break him.

"We have people who will keep nursing ya back to good health before we beat ya within an inch of yer worthless life, and we can do this again and again until ya tell us what we wanna know. Yer last days on this earth will be spent here, in the dark of a slaughter shed, while we keep ya in constant, unending pain. We're gonna break ya, one way or another," Daryl whispered as he dragged him into a sitting position, his hand coming around his throat.

Randall looked to Evan for some sort of mercy but found that her eyes were just as cold and hardened as the man before him, knowing that he had never seen a woman's eyes look like that.

"I didn't even know those guys- I met them on the road," he finally burst out, Daryl taking a step back to listen to him. Evan sat down on the stool and stared down at the young man, narrowing her eyes, "Bullshit." He shook his head and opened his uninjured eye to look at her, the taste of blood bitter in his mouth. Daryl just paced a moment before questioning him, his hand already balling into a fist. "How many in yer group?"

"Aw, man, come on…"

Daryl pulled out the hunting knife he always kept on his hip, not even glancing at the sharp and clean ones on the table. Randall looked at him and started to protest, trying to back away even as he pressed against the wall. Evan flinched as the blade came down between his legs, Daryl digging it into the floorboards as he repeated his question, "I said how many?" Randal shouted out his answer, only wishing he could get away from the two menacing figures in the shed. "Thirty! There's, uh, thirty guys," the prisoner answered, the woman moving to join Daryl on the floor as she took her own bowie knife and cut off the bandages from his knee. "Where?" She dug the tip into the slightly infected, but mostly healing wound, cutting through one of the sutures. Randall cried out in pain, becoming angry as he tried to defend himself, "I don't know, I swear! We never stayed one place more than two nights- its been over a week I've been in here! They're long gone!"

"I don't believe ya," Daryl said, telling Evan to continue with her assault on the knee.

She pushed the blade in and received a bloodcurdling scream in reply, knowing that they had probably heard it even back at the camp. "Alright- they have guns, heavy, military-grade stuff. Like automatics, machine guns and a flamethrower. But I- I didn't do anything; I swear!"

"So it was just the ones who shot at my boys and my woman, the ones who tried to take this farm: ya just went along for the goddamn ride, didn't ya Randall? Yer trying to tell me that even as the sniper, yer innocent?"

"Yes," Randall shouted, flinching away from the knife in his knee. "These people took me in, not just those guys but a whole group of them! Men and women- families, man, and kids, just like you people! I thought I'd have a better chance with them, you know? But we go out, and scavenge just the men… One night, we went out and found this campsite, just a man and his two daughters. Other- other teenagers, you know? Real young and really cute…"

Evan stood and backed away from the young man, feeling her stomach start to twist and turn. "Daddy had to watch as these guys… raped them, sometimes multiple guys at once. And they didn't even kill them afterwards, after they just made him watch," Randall said, Daryl standing as all the blood drained out of his face. He barely got a chance to step aside as Evan rushed forward and began to beat him, Daryl having to pull her off before she killed him.

"Get the fuck out of my way, Daryl," Evan said through her teeth, her eyes narrowed as she looked at the broken and beaten mass in front of her. She could imagine how it would feel to crush his windpipe underneath her hand, trying to get the images of her own daughters' faces out of her head.

The hunter only pushed her towards the door as Randall screamed at her, his voice thick with emotion, "But it wasn't me! I didn't touch neither one of them!" Daryl backed her towards the door and flung it open when he reached behind her, forcing her out of the shed before they lost control of the situation. "Get out of here, now. Go take a fucking walk and I'll find ya when I'm done. I mean it Evan," he said, breathing hard as he pulled the door shut behind him.

He turned back to the still shouting Randall, silencing him with a well-aimed kick to his injured knee, "I have half a mind to kill ya just for the sake of having… some piece of mind for my own daughters, ya piece of shit!" Daryl listened to him beg for his life for a few moments, debating on whether or not to go through with killing him before deciding that he was content to beating him for a while longer.

Evan looked up once it had finally gone silent inside of the slaughter shack, hearing a few things being moved before the door opened up and Daryl emerged. He was dressed again, his crossbow on his back as he held the backpack out for her to take, his eyes hard. "Let's go back to camp," he murmured, trying not to think about how badly his knuckles throbbed.

They walked back to the campsite with only half of their answers, Evan quiet as she tried to come back from her moment of murderous rage.

"Jesus."

Dale stood from his place sitting in the stage of the RV, seeing the blood that flecked Evan's face and dried on Daryl's hands. They looked at him ruefully before seeing the others staring at them, the hunter passing Evan his crossbow as he moved to talk to Rick, "Get me a washcloth."

The sheriff looked at him expectantly as Daryl walked up, looking at the bloodied and torn knuckles on his hands, holding a breath. "Well, did you kill him," Rick asked, knowing that is not what he and Evan had agreed on. Shane stood just over his shoulder, Daryl seeing the faint glimmer of hope and shaking his head. "No, but ya should have James go down there and fix him back up… Boy's got a gang of thirty men, with heavy artillery and they ain't looking to make any friends. They roll through and we're all dead."

"The men at least. The women and myself, gonna wish we were," Evan added as she came and tended to Daryl, the hunter allowing her to clean and bandage his aching knuckles. The rest of the group heard her thinly-veiled meaning, Lori seeming to look a little green for a moment. Rick looked at everyone standing before him and set down a rule he knew he didn't have to consult with Evan on, equally as threatened as she was, "Alright, no one goes near this guy-"

Lori stepped forward and eyed him, reaching out to run her hand over his scruff. "Rick, what are you gonna do?" He immediately looked at Evan, the woman standing to her full height and meeting his eye evenly. Her body language told him everything he needed to know, Evan very clear on her stance and what they should do.

She didn't miss the subtle way Shane shifted to stand at his side, the sheriff seeming not to notice. "We have no choice. He's a threat- and we have to eliminate the threat," Rick said heavily, Evan nodding in agreement.

"So you're just going to kill him," Dale asked, stepping into the debate as the voice of reason.

"It's settled," the former soldier replied firmly, meeting Dale's eye. She and Rick moved to talk, Dale moving after them as they did so, "The two of you can't do this."

Evan and Rick continued to walk, the sheriff feeling the badge in his pocket more keenly as he thought of what they were about to do. "No, we're doing it today. The sooner we get this done, the sooner we get on with our own shit, Dale. We're spending too much energy dealing with a… fucking criminal," Evan snapped in reply, striding away to the spot where they usually conducted business. "Rick, you don't want to do this. I know you don't want to do this," Dale said as he tried to switch up his angle, knowing that Evan had her heels dug in and that he wouldn't be the one to change her mind in the end. "I've thought about it all week and knowing what we know now, I don't see a way out of this. Before, when he was just a boy- maybe this conversation would be different. But he's not just a boy anymore Dale, he's become dangerous now and we are in dire straits as is."

"You can't just decide on your own to take someone's life, no matter what kind of situation we're in," Dale objected loudly, moving to stand in the way of the two individuals he knew would have the final say in whether or not Randall got to live if he didn't speak up. "There has to be a process-" Evan scoffed and shook her head, conflicted as to what due process even meant in their new world, "And what would that be without a penal system? We can't call witnesses, go before a judge- all we have is us knowing that this is what is right."

Dale looked at her evenly, trying to speak some sense into her- he had been shown glimpses of Evan beyond the confident, strong, overwhelmingly selfless woman she projected to the group, knowing that she understood reason well enough, even though reason was on her own terms. "And so because you are ready to show that you are in control and right when you make these tough decisions on behalf of the group, he's automatically guilty by association and sentenced to death?"

"As we would have been had be killed one or all of us that night at the bar! You weren't there Dale, hearing the gunshots pinging around you, having a gun held to your head," Rick shouted back, leaping to her defense at the flash of residual fear raced through him. He knew that their lives had intertwined the moment he made the decision to kill for her, remembering how frightened and angered he had been when their attackers had leveled a gun at Evan's head. "Georgia's a death penalty state anyway and he would have been getting this sentence even if it was in a time where a man in a fucking robe made the decision!"

"Look, give me- give me some time to talk to everyone."

Rick and Evan both shook their heads, the woman moving to fold her arms across her chest. "No, we can't drag this out! People are scared," the sheriff replied, thinking of the look in Lori's eyes when she had heard what the other survivors were capable of. Dale agreed with his assessment of the group, adjusting his rifle as he gestured towards the campsite, "Which is why they need time to discuss this. To make well-informed decisions on their own."

"No, they need to be safe. My girls, Lori and Carol, Andrea, those women in the house- they'll suffer most if we make the wrong decision here," Evan said, her voice thick with emotion as she turned her back on him. She still stood beside Rick, however, looking up towards the sky as she tried not to let her tears fall.

Dale looked at her back before turning towards the man still staring at him, trying to make his final appeals on Randall's behalf. "You think about your son, Rick, and you about your daughters, Evan! The message that y'all are giving him, 'shoot first think later'-" She cut him off loudly, her words sharp and full of anger as she thought of what they had had to do to survive post-apocalypse, trying to beat down the shame and remorse building inside of her, "Has kept them alive. And will continue to do so long after Randall is dead and gone!"

"But it won't keep people… people. People with a moral code and a sense of justice, their humanity for crying out loud! I'm asking for one day to talk to everybody, you can give me that. Think- think about Carl, and Carter and Kennedy, and Jude."

"I am," Rick murmured, visibly shaken by the thought of their children becoming hardened by the world through the decisions they made. "We'll meet back at sunset and whatever happens, happens."

Dale nodded and took Rick's permission, walking back to where the rest of the group was

The sheriff looked at Evan and sighed, eyeing her carefully, "Neither of us wanted to shoot Sophia, but we did because it had to be done, right?"

"Right."

He hesitated for a moment before resting his hand on the handle of his gun, looking back over the farm. "And there are things, very bad things that we are going to have to do in order to do what's right, Rick. Are you prepared to do that," Evan murmured, moving to look at him as she swallowed nervously.

"I'm ready if you are."

"I was born ready, Rick."


	35. Tough All Around

Evan and Jude napped lightly in the open tent as Daryl sat just to the side of the flap, restringing his crossbow in anticipation for the next day's hunt.

"Hey, mind if I talk to you for a minute?"

He looked up to see Dale and already knowing what he had come for, shook his head. "We ain't got nothing to talk about," Daryl replied flatly, checking out his handiwork before making a further few tweaks. "I think we do. You know, she's not the only person that cares about you- I'm worried about who you're gonna become, Daryl. Especially with this new role in the group torturing prisoners-"

The hunter looked up at him and narrowed his eyes, scoffing loudly, "I do what I have to do to protect my own. What these other people decided doesn't matter, because they don't fucking know what's what. Group's broken anyway."

"You say that like you don't care," Dale replied, trying to appeal to Daryl's softer side.

He only jerked a thumb back to where his girls were sleeping and shrugged, setting his crossbow down. "If it ain't about what's best for them, then I don't. I don't give a fuck about whatever else happens around here as long as nothing hurts her and our girls. Hate to say it, but fuck if that kid lives or dies."

Dale took one last look at him before walking away, the hunter turning to glance over his shoulder at where Evan had sat up. They shared a look before he jerked his chin towards his arrows, knowing that she had heard everything he said, "Hand me those, baby."

"You meant it when you said you don't care about nothing other than us."

"Yeah, I did," Daryl replied quietly, checking over his arrows and fixing loose heads and bent feathers. She looked up at him honestly and braced her back against the tent wall, resting her elbows on her knees. "Ya want me to have an opinion on it, fine. I want him dead, so that he doesn't become a threat, so that he doesn't put you in harm's way. I'd like to go around not looking over my shoulder for once and not have to worry about protecting yer back- something I wish I never had to do because ya were already good and safe. I love ya with every inch of me, enough to kill a man just to protect ya. Anything other than that doesn't matter."

Evan sighed and looked at the gold band she wore most days on her thumb, chewing on her bottom lip. "Every inch…" He lifted his eyes and looked at her, smiling ruefully, "Don't start getting all weepy and upset- I know that I can't have every inch of ya, Evan. Knew that from the day I met ya… For ya, ya got Jude and Kennedy and Carter, and ya still got yer old man's memory. They need their inches too."

"You know, I miss him like hell, but I know that he's watching over me and Jude, like always. The thing is… I feel better this time around with being somebody's woman and somebody's mother. Not that it felt wrong with Danny, but it's just never felt more right with you, Daryl. This life- despite its obvious shortcomings- feels like it's my second chance."

He was quiet as he looked at her, trying not to betray the almost embarrassing sense of elation that had built inside of him just that quickly, running a hand back through his hair. "Mine too."

"You can smile- I know you want to," Evan said as she looked up from her hands, catching the fleeting grin Daryl gave. She smiled as well before standing and moving to kiss him, holding on to a handful of his hair in a way she knew drove him crazy.

"Where ya running off to?"

She turned around and pointed at her stomach for a moment before skipping off to use the bathroom, not hearing Shane and Andrea walking just a few feet away from her until they had started to speak.

Andrea looked at Shane, her arms crossed over her chest, "Look, Dale asked me to guard Randall because between you and Evan, he's afraid the kid's gonna end up dead before he can convince Rick to stop the execution."

"And he's gonna convince him, maybe even Evan too. They're gonna pussy-out and when they do, we're gonna have a big problem on our hands named Randall. Let me ask you something: every time we got a problem around here, who's behind it?"

She scoffed, Evan standing slowly to remain unseen, Andrea more focused on the man with her. "Some might say you." Shane laughed once humorlessly, shaking his head, "No, it ain't me. I say it's the ones who are making up 'the rules', even though their answers- their answers are always proved wrong."

"So what are you gonna to do? Evan and Rick are the leaders of the group, its Hershel's farm: we can't change that."

"Somebody ought to."

Evan stepped forward then, both of them looking up as Shane's hand went to his gun. "What are you gonna do? Lock us in a room and take our fucking guns," she questioned lightly, smirking at the fact that he would even think to try that. He was starting to go red in the face but kept his nerve, trying to see just how far he could push her. "Look, I've had about enough of you and your shit Evan. You ain't nothing but poison and you may have more than a few people underneath your thumb, but you're not gonna get to me-"

"I want nothing to do with you, Shane," Evan said plainly, raising her eyes to his. "I don't want to get to you: I want you gone. Because you are the poison here, the snake in the motherfucking grass and the only reason why you're playing hard ass with me is because I know exactly who and what you are! I see you!"

He lashed out at that but Evan blocked him with a forearm before she smashed her hand into his throat, knocking him off of his feet. "You ever come at me like that again and it will not be my fist hitting you- it will be a .45 caliber round right in your thick fucking skull, Shane."

The former soldier took one look at Andrea before spitting at her feet, speaking over her shoulder, "You should keep better company, Andrea. Men like this will get a girl like you killed."

* * *

The sun started to set on the Greene farm, Evan looking up at the sky before sighing and turning to Daryl.

"Almost time."

She sat for a few moments longer before clapping her hands to get the girls' attentions, smiling softly, "I want you three to go with Carl when we get to the house- we're going to be meeting downstairs while you stay with Lincoln, Jimmy and Beth. Get a book or something to keep you occupied." Evan then turned to Fenris, the dog taking to his feet and waiting for his order. "Pup, go watch Jude," she said as she jerked her head towards the girls' tent, Daryl smirking as the German Shepard darted away.

"He's such a bitch dog," the hunter said, receiving a firm thump to his thigh from her even as she tried not to laugh. Evan moved to kiss him before she stood, holding one of his hands in hers, "Sometimes a bitch has a bite much worse than a stud's."

"Oh, I completely agree with ya there."

They started towards the house, Daryl's hand comforting on her shoulder. "So, you support my decision, baby," Evan asked quietly, just wanting one last confirmation of how he felt. He nodded and moved to kiss her temple, speaking only loud enough for her to hear. "I've got a good woman with a level head on her shoulders. And I know that, right or wrong, yer gonna do everything in yer power to keep everybody happy and safe. I trust ya to do that, and I will be behind ya every step of the way to pick up the leg work. So yes, I support yer decision." She looked up at him and smirked, reaching up to wrap her fingers around his.

"Oh, stop sweet talking me, Dixon or I'll have to do that little thing for you that you like once the kids are asleep…"

"I've had enough out of ya tonight," Daryl said as they came to the porch, Evan moving around him with a grin to usher the girls and Lincoln inside. He moved to stand in the living room, seeing the others settle in with the three oldest members of the Greene family.

They waited for Evan and Lori to come down, the two women immediately moving to stand beside their respective partners. After he made sure that his son was settled, Rick stepped forward to the center of the floor, his wife settling back on the wall where Evan and Daryl already were.

There was an uncomfortable silence filled with everyone meeting someone else's gaze, as if to tell them to speak. Glenn opened his mouth as he looked from Rick to Evan, sighing uneasily, "So how do we start this? Take a vote?" Andrea questioned openly how that would work, what steps had to be gone through and if it had to be unanimous. "No, let's just see where everybody stands and then we'll talk through the options-"

"Way I see it there's only one way to move forward," Shane replied, his fingers wrapped around the handle of his gun.

It seemed to anger Dale with how little effort they were putting into finding alternate means of dealing with Randall, looking at the group in utter disbelief, "Killing him, right? I mean, why even bother to take a vote; its clear which way the wind is blowing."

"If people want to spare him, I wanna know," Rick said, obviously conflicted with his own choices. The old man's eyes flickered over the faces of his friends and companions, shaking his head. "Well, I can tell you its only a small group. Maybe just me and Glenn," Dale replied, the young man sitting quietly. Glenn looked up after a moment of silence between them, trying to defend why he couldn't stand with Dale on the issue, "Look, I think you're pretty much right about everything all the time but this- he's not one of us! And we've lost too many people already."

"And you," Dale said, turning to the woman they already thought of as Glenn's other half. "Do you agree with this?"

Maggie looked at Glenn and Rick before deciding to talk to Evan, the shorter woman straightening up as she was brought into the debate. "Couldn't we continue to keep him prisoner," the farmer's daughter asked, Daryl letting out a sigh. He shook his head and turned to his partner, knowing the always had her ear, "That's another mouth to feed. And we already got a few mouths we weren't expecting to start thinking about." She looked at him as Daryl casually revealed the fact that she- as well as Lori- was pregnant to the entire group, knowing that he had slipped that in there to let them know that they were dealing with enough as it was. "Then it may be a lean winter," Hershel said, sensing the discomfort in the room build at the fact that they were still unprepared for the fast-approaching season. "We could ration better," Lori suggested, catching more than a few hungry glares- they were scrapping by on non-perishables as it was.

"Or he could be an asset- give him a chance to prove himself," Dale challenged, Evan shaking her head.

She sighed and folded her arms across her chest, looking at the old man as she admired his persistence, "And what, put him to work? I'm not going to let him walk around-"

"You could put an escort on him," Maggie said as she thought of the man she knew and how she was having to decide his fate. "Who wants to volunteer for that job," the deputy asked smartly, scoffing at her suggestion and shaking his head.

"I will-"

Rick held his hand up and finally put a stop to that idea, letting everyone know that it wasn't an option. "Look, I don't think anyone of us should be walking around with that guy. He could get comfortable here and we would let our guard down and who's to say he wouldn't take off," the sheriff questioned, seeing how their interests all piqued in the situation. "Get his thirty men to come back and show us what's what," Shane agreed, looking at Evan as he realized that if that came to pass, she'd be one of the first to get hers.

"So instead we kill him? To prevent a crime he may never even commit? You know, if we do this, we're saying there's no hope for any of us," Dale shouted, allowing his anger to overcome him. "This deserves more than a five minute conversation- this is a young man's life!"

Daryl moved to pace, annoyed with how the meeting was proceeding, "We've been talking all day, just going in circles? Ya wanna go around in circles again?"

"Is this what it's come to? We kill someone because we can't decide what else to do with him? You saved him, Evan! You were the one that wouldn't let him die out there," Dale said, seeing the hard fashion in which her face was set- she knew he was right. "And now you've gone and tortured him. He's gonna be executed- how does doing that make you or any of the rest of us any better than those thirty men we're so afraid of?"

Carol spoke in a meek voice that started to strengthen, finally ready to have her say, "Just stop it- stop it. I'm sick of everyone fight; I didn't ask for this and you can't ask any of us to decide something like this…" Evan moved to take a seat and threw up her hands, sighing. "Well y'all, we haven't come to any other viable solution with all this back and forth so I think its time that we go ahead and make a decision. Anybody else got anything to say about this? You have the floor," she murmured, the others following her lead in sitting down.

"Don't you see that if we do this, the people that we were, the- the world that we knew is dead! And this new world is ugly, harsh and it's a survival of the fittest! That's a world I don't want to live in… and I don't believe that any of you do either. Please, please: let's just do what's right," Dale said as he made one last appeal, becoming overwhelmed with emotion.

The only person who spoke was Andrea, who had been watching her friend struggle and fight for his beliefs, moved by his message, "He's right. We should try to find another way."

No one echoed her sentiment as they sat silently, feeling Dale look at each of them for confirmation of their choice, nodding despondently. He started to walk out of the house before pausing at where Daryl stood, the younger man eyeing him cautiously. "You were right- this group is broken," Dale said as he gripped his shoulder once, leaving them all with conflicted feelings.

There was a minute of absolute stillness before they began to move, Daryl moving to kneel where Evan was sitting with her elbows on her knees and her head hung. "Baby," he murmured quietly, wrapping his hand around the back of her neck. "Ya alright?"

"No. Daryl, I want so badly not to have to kill him. I want so badly that he's not a bad guy, that there's not some little piece inside of me telling me that this is wrong. And in a way, it is wrong: wrong that all of us even have to be here, that he had to be put in the position of kill or be killed, that we have to do this to save ourselves," Evan replied, pressing the heels of her hand to her eyes and sighing heavily. "No matter how hard I try, I can't always do the right thing and please everybody at the same time because the world doesn't work like that. And regardless of what I do now, it isn't gonna fix a goddamn thing that's wrong. The world is still shit, the dead still walk and- and everything is so fucked up. So no honey, I'm not alright with that."

Daryl moved to kiss her crown before standing, looking at where Rick was waiting by the door, "I can take care of this. Get the girls ready for bed."

"No, I'll do it-"

"Evan, what did I say? Leg work," he retorted smartly, walking towards the door. She watched as he and Rick disappeared into the night, shaking her head and standing.

The girls came downstairs and they returned to the campsite, Evan holding Jude tightly in her arms.

"You don't like being the leader of the group, do you," Carter asked quietly when they reached their tent, the girls pausing before their mother. She rocked the baby for a moment as she felt her shoulders slump forward, trying to figure out what to say, "No… no, I don't. But I have to do it so that you guys are safe and so that no one else has to make the decisions that I do. It's hard."

"And you're sad, mom," Kennedy replied as she wrapped her arms around Evan's waist, burying her face in her flannel shirt.

Evan smoothed down her hair before releasing her, the rest of the group starting to assemble around the campfire to wait. "Go ahead and get in bed girls. I'll see you in the morning," she said, kissing all of them good night and moving to sit down beside Lori.

"You're starting to lose your touch," the older woman murmured, staring into the fire. "You actually listened to something Daryl said for once. Evan's starting to get tame."

"Evan's starting to get tired," she corrected, chuckling humorlessly before looking out towards the barn.

She was quiet for a few moments until James came over, turning to look at him, "What do you need, sir?" The medic seemed to be annoyed with something, running a hand back through his shaggy hair and refusing to meet her eyes. "Could we maybe step aside and talk for a few minutes in private? There's something that's kinda eating away at me," he murmured, Evan standing and moving towards the vehicles with him.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"About," Evan started to question before she realized what he was talking about and words left her. "Oh."

James cracked his knuckles as he always did when he was tense, shaking his head, "I mean, I know I was just Danny's friend and all, and I know he's dead now but I thought that we were better than that. You are all I have left from before and I don't need to lose you too! You're my friend!"

"I know! I know," she shouted, her frustrations finally overwhelming her.

They looked at each other as Evan began to pace, the former soldier taking a moment to gather her thoughts. "I just found out- for certain, that is- the day we brought Randall back to the farm. And yes, you were Danny's friend but don't think for one second that I have forgotten just how much 'better' we are than that," she said angrily, seeing the blood rise in his face. James pointed an accusatory finger at her, speaking through his teeth as he walked towards her. "It was one, drunken, completely fucked up night when we barely knew each other we agreed never to bring up again! I wouldn't even give a shit about you if it wasn't for loving Jude like my own-"

"Lie," Evan whispered defensively, trying not to seem hurt by his words even as tears started to run down her face. "You're fucking lying."

"I know." James wrapped his arms around her and listened to her sob into his shirt, smoothing her curls down. He shushed her after a few moments, stepping back to cup her face in his hands, "I shouldn't have said that, I know Evan. And I'm so sorry- but I wasn't expecting everything to change so quickly, Danny here one day and gone the next, losing Nicole and my baby, having Daryl and all of the others to come into our lives. The dead started walking and everything changed: we all changed. I just don't want to lose anybody else or be replaced because I came along with the old husband and I don't matter anymore. You were my best friend too, Ev."

She moved to embrace him again, shaking her head as she tried to do away with his fears. "No, you're my family and that's never going to change Jaime. Me being with Daryl is not going to change that you were there through it all. And you can believe in me when I say that the thought of pushing you away has not crossed my mind- or his," she replied, moving to kiss his forehead as she smoothed back his hair soothingly.

"Don't forget about him."

"Never," Evan flung back, stepping away from him even as she held onto his arms. "Not a day goes by that I don't look at my daughter's face and remember the man with eyes as blue as the sky. Not one single day."

He stepped back as she nearly jumped out of her skin when they heard the leaves crunching towards them, hurriedly drying her face. Lincoln came into view and looked between them, knowing that he had walked into something private, "Uh, Rick's back…"

"Thank you."

Evan hurried off back to camp, James moving to lean back against a nearby tree as he tried to gather his thoughts.

She walked right up to Rick and Lori, aware that Daryl was not with him and that she had not heard a gunshot. "Where is he and what happened," she asked hotly, her hand pressed to her chest as she feared what had happened in the barn.

"Carl. He- he wanted to watched," Rick replied, seeming like he was in shock. "I couldn't. None of us could."

Evan felt sick to her stomach, shaking her head, "Jesus."

She knew that they would be postponing the execution at the very least, walking in circles as she scratched her head. "Not good, not good…" There was a series of pained, bloodcurdling cries, Evan pausing as she heard a familiar, disturbing sound just underneath the screams. She thought of the one person who she didn't have at her side, her heart seeming to leap into her chest as she mouthed his name.

"Get Carl," Rick said to his wife, the older woman beckoning her child as Evan went to grab her gun.

She called for her girls, walking briskly towards the direction of the screams, "Take Jude and Fenris and get to the house! Lock the door and do not open it for anyone! Go!"

By the time the others had gotten their weapons, Evan was nearly to whoever was lying in the field, bounding over the high grass. "Please don't be dead," she whispered, panting softly. "Please don't be-"

"Over here!"

Daryl called out to the group as he knelt by Dale, a dead walker laying just to the side with his knife firmly impaled through his head. "Hang in there buddy," the hunter said, holding his hands to Dale's midsection. Evan let out a cry of relief before looking down at Dale and hearing the blood in his throat, the old man dying right before her eyes. She pressed her hands over Daryl's, unable to meet his eyes, "I thought that it was you."

The others arrived, each shocked about the scene they came upon, Rick falling down beside where Evan knelt. "Oh, look at me Dale. Hold on now," he said, wanting to help without hurting him any further. He called for someone to get Hershel before looking at Evan and Daryl, wanting answers. "I found him with the walker on top of him, tearing into his stomach. All of his insides were hanging out," Daryl said, feeling the uncomfortable warmth underneath his hands.

He stepped away when Hershel had gotten there, Evan moving her hands to allow him to see.

"We have to move him," Rick said, preparing to give the orders.

"He won't survive the trip."

The sheriff looked at Evan as their worst fears were confirmed, leaping to his feet as he started to rant in denial. Dale writhed on the ground, Evan moving to cradle his head, "No, look at me. Look at me… Its alright, honey. Its gonna be alright."

Andrea seemed to be the one most overcome, sobbing on her knees as she turned to Rick. "He's suffering," she choked out, grasping his hand even as he gasped and struggled to breathe. "Do something!" Dale looked at Rick as he pulled his gun from his holster, his eyes pleading. Evan let out a sob and stroked his face one last time, trying to provide him with some sort of comfort. "I'm sorry Dale. So sorry."

Rick's shaky hand leveled the gun at Dale, trying not to think of how ironic it was that he was having to put down the old man. And then he dropped it, Dale's continued cries of pain too much for him to handle as he realized that the old man had been right about having to do the right thing- even though it meant ending his life now.

"Give it to me," Daryl growled out quietly, reaching out to take Rick's gun. He aimed it at Dale's head once the women had left him, loading a round into the chamber. Meeting the eyes of a man who had been like their tenth man when it came to making decisions and doing what was right, he curled his finger around the trigger, not wanting to pull it- even as he did so.

"Sorry, brother."


	36. You Get to Be Weak, too

Evan came out of her tent after she had changed her clothes, Lincoln standing as she looked at him. He swallowed and shook his head, attempting to keep the shakiness out of his voice.

"You said that nothing else bad would happen here. And you said that we would be safe."

She sighed heavily and nodded, trying to control the emotion in her voice, "I know. And I thought we were, Lincoln. I really thought we were." They embraced and she smoothed down his hair lovingly, taking a step back to look into his face. He reminded her so much of Leigh that it hurt sometimes, her inner mother bear taking over as she held his face in her hands. "Look at me: that day when I found you and I told you that I would never let them get you, I meant that. I am going to fight my ass off to keep that promise to you; you are going to be safe here. We all are," Evan murmured, moving to kiss his forehead.

After a moment they broke apart and she smiled before moving into the darkness to look for Daryl, knowing that he had gone off after what had happened in the fields. "Daryl," she called out, trying to keep from stumbling as she made her way through the woods. "Daryl, where the hell are you-"

Her foot caught a raised tree root and her hands flew out in front of her, Evan steadying herself to hit the ground even as she swore loudly. A strong hand caught her tightly around the upper arm, Daryl pulling her to her feet, "God, woman, ya got the worst balance for having been a soldier. And yer being too loud out here- there could be geeks."

"Yeah, I know," Evan replied, thankful that he had been there to catch her. "I don't want you out here alone."

Daryl scoffed and started walking off slowly, hearing her follow after him. "Ya shouldn't be out here worrying over me. I want ya to go back to camp Evan," he murmured as he started walking the perimeter around the farm. "Can't do that unless you come back with me. I'm not leaving you." He whirled around to face her, not at all in the mood for her overbearing bullshit at the moment, "I don't want ya here!" She looked at him, her eyes more vivid and emblazoned as he had ever seen them. The usual quiet strength that was wrapped around her had become something entirely different: more protective and equally as dangerous. "Fuck what you want: you **need **me right now. You don't have to go this alone Daryl. It's the worst fucking thing to be alone through- I should know," she spit back angrily, seeing his blood and dirt smeared hands curl into fists.

"I said get the fuck away from me! Yer so goddamn hardheaded Evan- ya can't sit here and coddle me like I'm one of the kids! I don't want yer tears or yer apologies for me having to pull the trigger. I don't need that!"

In her eyes was an anger he never thought that she would be capable of, Evan challenging him fiercely, "No, you don't need that and that's why I'm not apologizing or coddling or cry! I'm not offering you that because it won't help you deal with the anger running through you, anger that'll start to devour you whole. I'm offering you me!"

She grunted when she felt herself be pushed back onto a nearby tree, breathing hard as Daryl's lips smashed into hers. The hunter could feel her knees start to shake as she wrapped her arms around him tightly, holding him closer and allowing her entire body to bow to his, Daryl feeling something furiously dark start to flare up inside of him.

Their fingers intertwined even as his other hand moved to undo the buttons of her shirt, Evan unable to silence her heated whimper when his fingers made their way across the expanse of her chest and neck. She yanked one of her hands free and grabbed a fistful of his hair, bringing his mouth back to hers. Somewhere in the flurry of heat he had worked her clothes off, Evan pulling him flush against her as he growled low in his chest. Daryl bit down at the place where her jaw and neck met in a way that she knew was going to leave a very pronounced mark, her fingers digging through his shirt to pierce the backs of his arms.

"You need me," she muttered breathlessly, feeling the painful knots he was pulling in her hair. "You need me."

Daryl seemed to realize that she was offering him relief-from the pain of losing a friend and the guilt of pulling the trigger- one of his hands gripping her thigh tightly. She made quick work of his pants, feeling the friction burn form on her shoulder as she was pulled up the tree trunk when Daryl hoisted her onto his waist.

Their mouths came together in a way that made her teeth hurt, Evan tasting blood at the same moment he drove himself into her, bringing a pained gasp from her. She braced her hands against his shoulders almost as if she were pushing him away, taking her bottom lip in between her teeth. Daryl knew that she was in pain, only half-adjusted to him, but he couldn't bring himself to stop, hearing the unspoken plea in every breath that came from her. He slammed his hand back to the space beside her head, wrapping his free arm around her hips and pulling her against him. Evan knew very well that they could probably be heard being so close to camp and was still unable to keep her loud swears from breaking past her lips, overcome by the thinly-veiled violence her love and passion for him had mingled with that night.

Her nails dug into the leather of his riding vest as he hitched her higher up onto his waist, his body tight and tensed even as he found some small measure of release, not at all ignorant of the trembling breaths she was taking.

Daryl held her as she fell limp in his arms, her hair tumbling over his shoulder when she moved to bury her face in his neck. He eased her down onto her feet, Evan's back again hitting the tree uncomfortably as she sought to support herself there. She could feel almost every inch of her body ache and throb- dull in some places and strong in others- as she tried not to let the weakness following after her adrenaline rush overwhelm her, unable to keep away the shaky sobs in her voice. He just turned his back on her and braced his forearm against another tree, hanging his head.

She tried to catch her breath, her hand pressed to her chest as she felt herself tear up irrationally. He hadn't hurt her per se, but there was something inside of him that made her take a step back for a moment, unsure if she could help him. And then Evan realized that they were more alike than she had first believed, reaching out one last time to him.

"Your shoulders are shaking," she whispered brokenly, more disturbed by what he was going through than what she had felt taking on just a small fraction of his pain onto herself.

He felt her hand rest on his shoulder, speaking to her hoarsely, "I've never lost… control. And the second I do, I take everything out on ya." Evan pulled his face around to hers, shaking her head and sighing. "No, that was you realizing that you do have control and power. You realizing that you are stronger than you think."

"Physically," Daryl snapped in reply, his gaze flickering over her. She was scratched up and red in the places where he had held her tightly, the hunter knowing that there would be plenty of evidence of what happened with how easily she bruised. "But not mentally. I'm not strong where I should be because I'm letting all this shit get in my head and it's- it's gonna eat me from the inside out!"

"No, it won't: I won't let it."

Her breath was still shaky as she reached out to cup his face in her hands, wishing away the dried tear marks on her cheeks she could see him staring at. "You needed to get it out of you and rather than have you take out your anger on yourself, I took it. Because I can handle that, Daryl and I can be your safe place if you want me to be. You don't have to live with it all bottled up inside of you! I'm with you because I love you for you and I mean both good and bad. You get to be ugly with me, mean, angry, selfish, hateful, and I will still love you no matter what! You don't always have to be strong for me- you can be weak too. Be weak," Evan said quietly, seeing the hurt flash across his face.

They threw their arms around each other as Daryl surged forward, holding her tightly against him. He could only whisper her name like a desperate plea as the emotions rose within him, her hand tight around the back of his neck.

She knew that it wasn't just about Dale, but all the shit he had held onto from times long before they had met and had finally become too much. He let out a single sob, but it was just enough to make her heart break for him, glad that the short-lived but intense anger had burned away to something else she could better understand: pain. Evan had been angry many, many times in her relatively short life, but she had had more than her fair share of pain and she knew that there, she could get through to him.

"This is what it felt like… putting her down."

The statement caught her off-guard but she kept her strength and composure for him, holding him more tightly around the shoulders. "Yes. And I only knew that bubbly, bright-eyed, sweet little girl named Sophia for six weeks, Daryl- yet I still feel her loss acutely and I think about her fate more often than I like to admit, knowing that it could happen to anyone of us. It is not easy and you will not be the same… but you will get through the anger and the feelings of unfairness and the despair you don't want to think about, but you feel all the same. The worst of it will pass soon enough and what's left is going to take longer to fade, but you're not going to feel the same way in a week, a month, a year. You are going to be okay- we are going to be okay, in time," Evan replied as she stepped back to smooth his shaggy hair down and looking at him honestly.

He felt a certain calm come over him then, as if her words were exactly what he had been waiting to hear- he needed to know that he wouldn't have to live with the guilt in every second of the rest of his life.

"I'm sorry I hurt ya," Daryl said, still not wanting to let her go. She could feel his words as his breath ghosted across the skin of her shoulder, his words overwhelmingly sincere, "I will never hurt ya again. I swear."

"Don't swear: you know you don't like breaking promises to me," she smiled gently in reply, stroking his hair. "Besides, the occasional hurt is a necessary part to life. It keeps you strong."

Evan squeezed him one more time before gingerly moving to retrieve her clothes, dressing silently in the darkness. She wasn't surprised when she felt his hand on the back of her neck, reaching up to rest her fingers over his.

"Come on," Daryl said finally, moving to press his lips to her curls. "Let's go back. It's been a long night."

* * *

She sighed as she stroked his hair, feeling him curl in towards her touch, the young woman moving to trace the outline of his lips. "They should be getting finished with breakfast in a moment or two. Are you going to come," Evan asked lightly, trying not get him upset or angry. The former soldier knew that he was still undecided whether or not he wanted to be there when they laid Dale to rest, seeing the way his eyes narrowed tellingly.

Before he could protest however, she bent down and kissed him, her voice warm and soothing, "No one is going to judge you for doing it Daryl. It was the right thing to do for him…"

He moved to sit up as she stood, watching her smooth down her clothes and start to duck out of the tent before pausing. "Please. For them," Evan requested simply before moving completely out of his sight and walking away.

"Dada."

Daryl looked down as Jude left Fenris' side and crawled into his lap, her pudgy hands pulling at his shirt. He lifted her into his arms, kissing her unruly curls with a sigh. "For them and for ya baby girl," he murmured, taking a moment to be with his daughter.

Evan stood with her two oldest children at the gravesite where they had already buried Dale, the rest of their group assembled around the small plot as they waited.

"Is he going to come?"

"Not sure," she replied, looking up at Rick and shaking her head. "This really seemed to mess him up inside."

Rick hadn't wanted to start the service without Daryl- he hadn't yet responded to Evan's last appeal for him to come- but knew that the others needed their closure and so he sighed, stepping forward. "Dale was a man who could get underneath your skin: I admit, he sure got under mine. Because he wasn't afraid to say exactly what he thought and how he felt… That kind of honesty is rare," the sheriff said as he began his eulogy, trying not to let his own emotions get the better of him. "And brave," Evan added with a sniffle, reaching up to swipe at her eyes.

Her words had a double meaning as the sound of footsteps caught the group's attention, everyone turning to see Daryl walking towards them from his tent. The hunter shied away from their gazes as he moved to stand a ways back from the grave, catching Evan's eye before he turned to look at the large rock being used as a headstone.

"Whenever there was a decision made, I'd look at Dale and he'd be looking back at me with that look he had. We've all seen it, one time or another… I couldn't always read him, but he could read us: all of us. He saw people for who they were and he knew things about us, our truths about who we really are."

"In the end, he talked about losing our humanity," the female leader said once she had taken over from Rick, her eyes wandering over the faces of the people around her. "And he said that this group was broken. I don't agree with that- I think we are tired, confused… weak and losing what is left of our hope. But we are not broken and the best way to honor Dale and the way in which he wanted to see us is to prove that we are strong and we are in this together. Set aside our differences and pull together… We need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves and finally take control of our lives, our safety, our futures. We need to be better and from now on, we're gonna do it his way. That is how we honor Dale."

There was a murmur of agreement and a second's more pause before they broke away to go about their business, Evan hesitating a moment before moving towards Daryl. She reached up to tuck her hair behind her ears, unable to hide the proud smile she was wearing for him, "Hey. We have a meeting with Hershel in a few minutes- join me?"

"Yeah," he replied, reaching out with his free hand to take hers and bringing it to his lips. "I love ya."

She smiled sweetly and rose up on the tips of her toes to kiss him, pressing a hand against his chest. "And I love you," Evan said as they started towards the vehicles where Rick, Hershel, Maggie and Lori were standing.

He didn't miss the look of wariness that crossed her features as they neared the small group, her eyes on Shane.

"Well, it'll be tight, fourteen people in one house," she heard Rick say, listening into the conversation more intently once she knew that had already cut straight to the point. Hershel, however, seemed nonchalant about the situation, shaking his head, "Don't worry about that. With the swamp hardening and the creek bed drying up-"

"Not to mention fifty cattle on the property, we might as well be ringing the dinner bell," Maggie interjected, squinting in the sunlight as she tried not to think of the people she had started to think of as friends in danger. The farmer nodded and sighed, looking at Rick and Evan. "She's right, we should've moved you in awhile ago."

Evan tried not to outwardly show her relief, but Daryl felt the miniscule way she relaxed into his side, seeing her eyes close for a minute as she thanked some power higher than themselves. "Alright, then let's move each of the vehicles towards the door, facing out towards the road. If there's any more walkers around, we don't need to get ourselves trapped anywhere," she said, moving away from her partner as the group started to follow her orders.

"I want a lookout in the windmill and another in the barn loft. That should give us sightlines on both sides of the property," Rick continued, seeing her start to crank her own truck. She caught his eye for a moment before shutting the door, the sheriff holding up a hand so she wouldn't leave just yet even as he continued to direct the others. "T-Dog, I want a perimeter around the house. Keep track of everyone coming and going."

T-Dog looked at him curiously before shaking his head, uncomfortable with that role, "What about standing guard?"

"No, I need you and Daryl on double-duty."

"Here, give me the baby," Evan said as she reached out of the window, Daryl passing Jude into her arms and watching protectively as Evan secured her the best she could. "Don't be speeding around the farm with her like that: so tiny she'll fly out of that seatbelt."

She scoffed and looked at him, shaking her head, "No one's speeding anywhere, I'm just going to the house like you are. Don't turn into Mr. Mom on me now, Dixon."

"I'm stocking the basement with food in case we have to survive there a few days," Hershel informed them, Evan feeling overwhelmed at the thought of not just being hungry after their meager meals but actually starving through the winter. "That's a good idea- we should probably make a few trips to town before it starts to get bad around here. Get some better clothes, some more food and supplies," the former soldier suggested, seeing Rick and Daryl both agree with her adamantly.

They both turned as Shane and Andrea strolled up from the back of the group, the latter approaching the leaders inquisitively, "And what about patrols?"

"Let's work on getting this area prepared and locked down first. And after that, Evan will assign shifts while me and Daryl take Randall off-site and cut him loose," Rick said, knowing he hadn't broached the topic with her but needing to make that decision for them both.

"Assigning shifts like a goddamn construction foreman? Uh no, I want to come with you when Randall is taken away-"

Both Daryl and the sheriff started objecting adamantly to that, the young woman feeling her cheeks flush. "No, absolutely not Evan. No way yer carrying yer pretty, pregnant little ass back out there, and I mean that. Ya had a gun put to yer head last time," the hunter growled out as he leaned against the truck, seeing the hard set to her mouth.

"Well, ain't nobody got a gun except me this time and I can handle my own. I brought him here and I should be the one to take him away," Evan snapped loudly, hearing Jude start to cry at the harsh tone they were taking with each other.

Shane cleared his throat and looked at them, hedging his bets to speak his mind, "Y'all think that's a good idea? Cutting him loose?"

"You don't agree but this is what's happening. Swallow it and move on," Rick said, his quick temper thinly-hidden before the others. Even Evan flinched at the venom in his voice, seeing the blatantly offensive way he was standing. "You know Dale's death and this prisoner of ours- they're still two separate things, right," Shane murmured, the former soldier unable to keep her hand from wrapping around the handle of her bowie knife. "But you wanna take Daryl and Evan as your wingmen? Be my guest…"

Rick started to say something smart before catching himself and turning away, needing to go for a walk, "Thank you."

The camp was broken down quickly and everything was packed away into the vehicles, the others following after Evan as she moved the truck to rest near the porch. She watched as the women, Glenn, Lincoln and James moved to carry some of their belongings into the house, turning to where Rick and Hershel were walking towards her.

"I see why you're not taking Shane along with you," she noted, recalling their earlier conversation about him and his place in the group. Rick didn't say anything and she folded her arms across her chest, shaking her head, "My patience is wearing thin when it comes to him..."

"And my patience is gone," Hershel said as both of them turned to look at him, the old man finally being honest about how he felt with the situation surrounding Shane and his tenacity when it came to the barn. The younger man shook his head profusely as he moved to defend his friend, not being completely honest with himself about how he felt when it came to the deputy, "No, he's… turning over a new leaf."

Evan scoffed and kicked up a small cloud of dust, looking at Rick. "If you think a man like Shane could change…" Daryl whistled at them as he picked Jude up out of the truck, walking towards them and shaking his head. "Now that's enough, ya two. Ya can't be arguing over some petty bullshit concerning Shane, not out in the open like this- he's still… part of the group," he murmured, keeping himself from saying the phrase 'one of us' because he agreed wholeheartedly with Evan that the deputy, with his trigger-happy self and crazed look in his eye, was not at all like them.

She looked at Rick before moving to Daryl's side, content with taking a step back from being one of the head honchos to moving gear.

"Ya know, when its come down to people and knowing what they're like, she ain't never been wrong. I say take it with a grain of salt and be yer own man, but Rick," Daryl said, his hand moving to rest in the small of her back as he adjusted Jude in his arm.

"She's not wrong."

They walked away then, pulling away into their own little world that Rick somehow envied even though he knew he could never be a part of it. Daryl and Evan were about as close as two people could get, something he couldn't say for his own struggling marriage at the moment. She was right about him coming to terms with everything that had happened between Shane, Lori and himself, Rick knowing that it would have to be discussed sooner or later.

However, he could only look after the hunter and the soldier, his eyes narrowed slightly, "Now Daryl's being all cryptic too- never thought I would say it, but Evan's actually a bad influence on him, doc. Fucking riddles got my head all bent…"

"Well, you better take another walk and get it straight Rick. We need you right now."


	37. Woman

Evan paced the platform near the top of the windmill, her careful eyes scanning the landscape for anything out of the ordinary. Her AR-10 was tucked underneath her arm, feeling heavier than normal with the burden of keeping everyone safe.

"Hey Ev."

She smiled as Daryl crossed the distance between the house and where she was, climbing up the ladder to join her. They shared a brief kiss before he looked out over the farm, one hand on his crossbow and the other shoved deep in his pocket, "This… this is ours now."

"Yeah," Evan smiled, moving to lean into his side. "Its ours."

"So now we just have to make it through the winter, which shouldn't be too hard being inside the house. We keep the girls warm, ya keep that baby inside of ya nice and healthy and I'll keep us fed. All we need to do is hope for a mild season and wait for the thaw," Daryl murmured in reply, moving to wrap an arm around her shoulders.

They stood there for a moment, staring at the afternoon sun and thinking about how hard the next few months would be on them all. "I haven't told the girls yet- or Lincoln- about the baby. I think we should wait a little longer for that, after the first trimester has passed. Less chance of anything happening after that-" He looked down at her, confused about the tentative way in which she spoke. "What do ya mean, 'anything happening'," he questioned, seeing something flicker in her eyes before she pulled away.

He watched as she moved to sit down, putting the gun behind her and swinging her legs down over the edge of the platform. "It, uh, it was hard for Danny and I to have kids. We got married about nine months after the bombing, and he was dead set on having a family… Over the course of about two years, I had five miscarriages: one at seven weeks, another at ten, two at thirteen weeks and one before I even knew I was pregnant. Doctors thought that it had something to do with all those fucking drugs I did or maybe because of all the internal injuries lingering around from Iraq but they could never give me a straight answer. Who's to say how long we have before we lose this baby too," Evan asked to the open air, letting her head fall back with a sigh.

"Ya think that's a possibility?"

"Its always a possibility," she murmured, moving to cover her face with her hands and taking a moment before turning to look at him.

Daryl put down his crossbow and laced his fingers together, resting his elbows on his knees. "Wanna know what I think," he questioned, staring at the large house and nodding to himself. "Ya told me that we were gonna be okay when we found out we were having this baby and I believe in that- I have to. It keeps me going every day, to wake up and know that I need to take care of ya and my girls and my baby, Evan. I need ya not to think about all the bad that could happen… but the good that's gonna happen when that baby takes its first breath. That's what's important, not the past, not the 'what-ifs' or 'could happens'. We don't need that."

"I know, I know: you're right. Its just hard not to think like that, especially when I'm... scared."

He pulled her in and kissed her forehead, inhaling the scent of her skin, "I know honey, but we'll finish talking about this once Rick and I get back from taking Randall out-"

"Whoa. I thought we discussed that I was going with the two of you- like I said earlier, I brought him to the farm and I made him our responsibility. It's now my responsibility to take that little shit back out there; you're not going to keep me from doing that Daryl. You can't," Evan challenged him, moving to stand and glaring down at him. He stood slowly underneath her angry gaze, Daryl having to be conscious of the fact that they were not on the ground. "For once, can ya just do something I say and not argue with me, woman," he questioned, seeing her eyes narrow as she folded her arms across her chest. "Not in my nature, hunter."

"Yer so goddamn hardheaded…"

Daryl looked down as she slid down the ladder on the rails, shaking his head and following after her.

The sheriff looked up from his map, stepping back a pace as Evan and Daryl strode towards him, her jaw set in a manner he knew meant she wasn't happy. "Hey. I want in on this run," she said, Rick looking at her man over her shoulder before she moved to step in his way. "Hey! Don't look at him, Grimes- you're talking to me!" He was obviously uncomfortable with both of them looking at him, Evan watching him as he moved to bend back over the hood. "I, uh, really… really don't want to be put in the middle of this. Y'all have this thing about you that's like a power struggle but there's not much room to give and take; it ain't my place to make a choice," Rick murmured, avoiding her heated stare.

"I may be his woman, but I'm _your_ woman too, Rick. Don't forget that."

She met his eyes as Daryl took a step forward, the hunter looking between the both of them, "Hey- wait. What the fuck does that mean? Evan? Rick?"

"It means that she's my partner, Daryl, nothing more and nothing less. When we all came together, I was leading our people and she was leading hers. Neither of us stepped down from that."

The former soldier nodded and placed her hands on her hips, sighing quietly. "No, we stepped up. I moved to stand beside you and I will still be standing beside you when I'm nine months pregnant, when I've got a whole mess of little ones running around me, when I'm old as fuck and barely able to hold my gun. But I need you to stand beside me right now," Evan said, trying not to sound desperate.

Although she knew it was only a run- this time- it still felt like they were trying to push her out, even though she was one of the most experienced and capable, simply because she was a woman.

Rick looked at her before shaking his head, straightening up and shrugging. "Ev… I'm sorry-" She moved forward and slapped him roughly before storming away, the sheriff waiting until she was gone to turn to Daryl.

"Thank ya," Daryl said before Rick turned his back on him, the older man looking after Evan as she disappeared around the back of the house.

"I didn't do it for you.."

* * *

Daryl came down the stairs as he and Rick prepared to leave, going out on the back porch to say goodbye to Evan.

She was shirtless, facing away from him as she did pull ups from the porch eave, but he could tell from the subtle shift in her back muscles that she knew he was there.

"We're about to head out," he murmured, Evan pausing before resuming her exercise, tossing her hair back over her shoulders. "I wanted to say bye to ya."

"Bye."

He walked around her and stood on the first step down so they were at eye-level, seeing the hard set of her face. "Goddamn it! Ev, ya can't be mad at me! Not for this," the hunter snapped, adjusting his gaze when she dropped down from the lip of the roof and rested her hands on her hips. "You know, you may have gotten your way this time with telling me to stay here, but you're not going to tell me how to feel Daryl. You're not." Evan reached out to pull her shirt on, shaking her head as she continued to speak, "Look, I know that we're still getting our shit together in being together, but I'm telling you now that this is not going to work if we keep coming back to this stupid fucking argument. Its nobody's fucking fault that I got pregnant and yet every step of the way, being pregnant seems to be the go to of why shit has to be the way it has to be. You don't get to say that because I'm a woman, I'll be compromising the safety of an innocent child or in some way any less capable of being a soldier and doing what I have been doing all along! Everything… everything else has changed but at least I can pretend that it hasn't as long as I stay the same. If I'm still me, the rest of it doesn't seem so bad. I can't turn into Lori or Andrea or Carol, or I will wither away and die; I can't function right without being in the thick of things. And you are going to lose me if you try and change who I am."

"Evan, I know that ya can keep yer own, I do. And I'm not trying to change ya, just trying to keep ya safe. Ya take a lot of risks but yer not what worries me: its everything else. Its fucking dangerous out here-"

"So you're gonna put me in a little box and keep me safe? No, the only thing you can do is have my back and let me have yours. Only way we're going to get through this," Evan replied, her eyes searching his as she finally let the ultimatum hang between them. He sucked in a sharp breath once he realized that she wasn't kidding, shifting his weight backwards before shaking his head. "Alright, fine. Okay, I won't make ya stay behind… but we do this my way, understand? If I tell ya to do something like take a step left or right, or stand behind me, ya do it," Daryl growled out, begrudgingly kissing her when she moved to throw her arms around his neck.

They went back through the house, Evan moving to grab her guns as Daryl waited for her in the foyer.

James came through the front door and looked at his friend's man, seeing the dark look in his eyes. "Shit. She fucking talked you into it, didn't she," the medic asked, shaking his head. Daryl only tightened his hold on his crossbow as he watched Rick talk to T-Dog in the yard, half-annoyed that he had let himself be worn down by her, "She's… persuasive."

"Bullshit. She's fucking ruthless- Evan knows better than any woman I've met to hit you were it hurt. Its either her way or get the fuck out of her way. I bet she let you thought you'd be doing it your way, ain't that right? And she'll go along with it for a little while, but fuck if when she's done listening to you, she's back to being her old G.I. Jane self. That's how she ended up walking on that grenade with Leigh when she was positioned at the back of the squadron, you know… Yep, you got screwed over Dixon and you know it."

She stopped dead in her tracks as she came down the stairs, both men turning to face her, the young woman looking at them innocently. "What? Why are y'all both looking at me like that?" Daryl just pushed open the front door and walked out to where his motorcycle was, the former soldier looking at her friend.

"What the hell was that about," Evan questioned, walking to where James stood.

"Nothing. Daryl just realized you ain't nothing but a little con artist who played him right into your hand."

Evan narrowed her eyes and put her gun on her hip, knowing that James had said more than that, "I fucking hate you sometimes-"

"Hey!"

They all turned to the sound of T-Dog's shout as he ran back from where Evan knew he had been getting Randall, the former soldier taking the front steps two at a time. "What happened," Rick questioned, the man trying to catch his breath.

"Randall," T-Dog said, moving to rest his hands on his knees. "He's gone."


	38. Barely Breathing

"What the hell do ya mean missing," Daryl asked harshly, rounding on him as Rick did the same. T-Dog just shook his head and took another moment to catch his breath before looking at the two men before him, "I just- just opened the door to the shed and he was gone. His cuffs and shit are still there…"

Evan whirled around on her heels to look up at the windmill where their guard was supposed to be, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks. "That sly son of a bitch-"

"Rick!"

They all turned to where Shane was running towards them, the bridge of his nose split and bleeding rather profusely from a gash over his eye. The female moved to meet him, Daryl and Rick both falling in step behind her as she started shouting at him, her anger getting the best of her in the accusation she flung at him. "What the hell did you do? You had no right, none at all Shane!" He narrowed his eyes even as Rick stepped between them, the deputy's indignation seeming to roll off of him, "Me? I tried to do something right for once- caught that little prick sneaking out when he was supposed to be under your watch! Wasn't my fault nobody had my back when he smashed my face into the rocks and grabbed my gun! Guess you were just too busy with your own shit, huh?"

"You're a dirty, rat liar," Evan bellowed, struggling against Daryl even as he wrapped a strong arm around her waist and hauled her back, the hunter's grasp unrelenting.

"Evan, shut up!"

She looked at Rick, breathing heavily and with her eyes narrowed, shaking her head, "Rick, you know better. He was not just out there being the hero, saving the day, being the good guy. He is not a good guy!"

"I said be quiet." The silent threat in the deputy's voice was heard loud and clear, Daryl himself unable to hold back the surge of protectiveness he felt hearing her be spoken to that way. Rick lifted his eyes to meet the hunter's, jerking his head towards the house, "I want her inside and out of my sight. Arm the others in the house and then go with Glenn to the slaughterhouse; track him down."

Evan just stared at Rick in disbelief as she was practically dragged into the house, Daryl sitting her down in the armchair by the living room door and letting out a heavy breath. He pulled his pistol off of his hip and held it out to her, the woman folding her arms across her chest as she looked up at him. "You know that he's wrong," she said quietly, her shoulders slumped under the weight of her beliefs and convictions about Shane. Daryl moved to take a knee in front of her, placing the gun in her lap and pulling one of her hands down from her chest. "Yeah, I do. But it's his problem now baby, not ours- Rick's his own man."

"And he's my friend."

"Ev, ya can't be concerned with his shit when we got our own to take care of," he replied just as softly, the gruffness in his voice tempered by what he was feeling. Daryl needed Evan to remember what their responsibilities wore, who they truly held obligations to and just how much they both had to lose. "Look out for yer self."

Leaning forward, she captured his lips with her own, savoring the moment before pulling away regretfully. Evan stared at him for a moment and made her mouth to say something, hesitating as she weighed the words in her head. "You too, Daryl," she murmured weightily, the hunter standing and turning away. She watched him leave before taking to her feet, sorting out the house and putting them on high alert.

She was pacing on the porch later as she waited rather impatiently, the passing minutes without any word from the search groups- Daryl and Glenn, and Rick and Shane- making her unease strengthen more and more.

Lori came out onto the porch, looking at Evan as she continued to wear a path into the wood, "Do you think they'll find him?"

"Don't know."

The older woman gave her a few more seconds before questioning her again, the not-knowing of waiting starting to wear thin on her patience. "Do you think he's gone back to his group? Do you think that we're about to go to war," Lori asked quietly, seeing Evan pause with her back to her, the young woman's eyes locked on something far beyond either of their sights. "No. He's not going to make it back to wherever he came from; Daryl's not about to let that happen…"

Glenn and Daryl came up on the slaughter house, the hunter slowing his cheetah-like gait to examine the shed and the surrounding earth with an extremely discerning eye.

"What do you see," the Asian inquired, unable to see as he did in conjunction with the dimming light of nightfall. Daryl pointed to the ground, straightening up and pulling his bow forward, "Footprints: Shane and Randall's both. From the way they look, he's still limping pretty bad- ain't in no shape to run… or overpower anybody."

Dark eyes met Daryl's and they started walking, the hunter leading his companion through the darkness.

Over and over sharpened eyes found disruptions in the tracks, seeing the stumbling pattern of feet being pushed deeper into the woods, Shane's strong and straight, never faltering.

And then they stopped, Daryl throwing up a hand as he crouched down over some heavily disturbed ground. "Ya see this, Chinaman? How torn up and rough this earth is? This is where the shit went down, but it ain't Shane's footprints that's gone- its Randall's," the hunter said with a deep growl in his voice, having confirmation of his and Evan's shared suspicions. Glenn didn't want to ask but the words spilled past his lips anyway, the younger man taking a step back, "You're saying that Shane lied? And Randall… he's the one who got fucked over?"

There was a low, unmistakable sound from the bushes, Daryl and Glenn both instinctively taking cover behind a thick of trees. The walker appeared and the hunter peeked underneath a low-hanging branch to see, catching a very familiar silhouette.

"Shit…"

The walker turned to where Daryl had uttered the swear, letting out a series of hungry, rasping growls as it moved to attack them, the hunter lowering his crossbow. However, Glenn was already there, dispatching Randall's reanimated corpse without further provocation with an axe right to his head.

It was quiet as they started to examine the body, trying to determine what exactly had happened in the moments after his alleged escape. "He's not bit," the younger man said after a few moments, even looking for the slightest scratch that could have been inflicted by a walker. Daryl just shook his head in agreement, seeing the way Randall's head lolled when they rolled him over, "He died because Shane snapped his neck."

"What does that mean?"

Daryl didn't know the answer but he found himself turning back towards the farm, wanting to put as much distance between him and the mystery as he could…

* * *

Shane and Rick stood out in one of the fields in the direction Randall was said to have taken off, the two men scouring every inch of land carefully for any sign of him. "You know, I'm starting to wonder how a kid like Randall could have gotten the jump on you," the sheriff said, some of his words heavier than others. His friend turned to look at him and scoffed, a hard glint in his eye, "And you're starting to sound like Evan. What, you doubting me too?"

"No, I just want you to tell me the truth. You killed him, didn't you?"

The deputy turned to face him, his jaw set as he eyed Rick evenly. "Yeah, I did. But you gotta see that I had to because you weren't going to protect the group- we have to live by any means necessary and that means doing what needs to be done. Carl wanted to watch the execution and that was okay, he's a curious boy but you let that somehow take your head out of the game. And Evan didn't help matters any, helped to make you softer-" Rick held up his hand to cut him off, looking up at Shane and shaking his head, "It ain't about her or them… You knew he was dead and you brought me all the way out here for what? You gonna take my gun and beat me half to hell so you can have the group?"

"I don't want the group," Shane replied shortly, seeing the realization dawn in the sheriff's eyes.

"Oh," he murmured, taking a half step back and nodding slowly. "I see."

Shane exploded then, finally letting go of the anger and envy he had held on to for so long, practically shaking with it. "Yeah, its about time you do! You ain't no good for them, Rick- you ain't willing to do whatever it takes to make sure Lori and Carl have a safe place to sleep at night! I did that when this shit all went down; I saved them and took care of them and loved them! You were dead to both of them and it was me who was there! You coming back from the dead only messed things up… so this time I'm gonna make sure you ain't coming back," he menaced, seeing how disturbed Rick had become. He now knew exactly what was going to happen tonight, knowing that he would not walk away from this alive.

"I'm not fighting you. I won't."

Rick pulled the gun off of his hip and took a deep breath, resigning himself to his fate. He held out the pistol to Shane, dark eyes seeming to shine brightly in the dark of the early night, "I'll take good care of them, I will."

As Shane reached out for the weapon, Rick pulled out his knife, head butting his former friend enough to stun him before plunging the blade deep into his midsection. The deputy let out a pained gasp and dropped the gun, Rick half-supporting him as Shane stared into his face, seeming confused and betrayed even in light of their current situation. "You brought this on yourself, Shane. I wasn't going to kill you for what you've done, but like you said, I'm gonna make sure you ain't coming back," he said through his teeth, Shane uttering one last choked breath before he died in Rick's arms.

The heavy body was dropped unceremoniously, Rick feeling the warm wetness on his hand before brushing it away on his paints. He was unharmed, but greatly shaken, wondering how they could have gone from practically brothers to enemies in the last few moments of Shane's life. Rick couldn't help the bile that rose in him but he kept it down, not wanting to let the dead man's memory get the satisfaction of having moved him.

"Dad?"

He turned to where Carl was standing, seeing his son's eyes fixed on Shane's corpse. "Oh God, Carl-" Rick started to go towards him before seeing Carl taking a few steps backwards, his eyes wide and bright with confusion. And then the young boy raised his gun in Rick's direction, his hands shaking as his father shook his head, trying to explain himself, "No! It wasn't my fault; I didn't do anything wrong!"

And then there was a rasp just over Rick's shoulder, the sheriff whirling around to see the reanimated Shane reaching out towards him.

Carl pulled the trigger and the shot met its mark, Shane's head snapping back as blood splattered the field surrounding him. His body hit the ground for the second time but he moved no longer, both father and son staring in shock and disbelief at the events that had unfolded before their very eyes.

"You hear that," Evan asked as she and Lori turned to the sound echoing off of the trees, scanning for any sign of the men. The older woman nodded and took a step back, the soldier raising her weapon, "Tell everyone to get ready. Something's coming."

Lori disappeared into the house and she crossed the fields quickly, ducking low in case any fire came from overhead. She didn't know what- or how- but Evan knew that a single gunshot from any of the men was unlikely to be anything good; they would not risk bringing unwanted attention from anyone, living or dead, just to let off a single round.

There was a rustling from the woods where her man and Glenn had gone to search for the missing boy, Evan turning on the windmill platform with her AR-10 on her shoulder. She debated whether or not to call out, her need to know that Daryl was safe winning out as she called to him, the hunter breaking out of the tree line. "Where'd that shot come from," he asked, looking up at her, nervous even underneath his calm demeanor. She shrugged and Daryl paced for a moment, his eyes scanning the rather vast acreage of the farm. "I want ya to come down and get in the house-" Evan scoffed at him, narrowing her eyes, "I'm not coming down. Y'all made me stay and be lookout? Fine, I'm the lookout."

"I said get yer ass down here!"

Evan started spewing a streaming of increasingly angry and spite-laced words, throwing the gun over her shoulder and turning to start down the ladder. The hunter below had had enough of her within a moment or two of her bitching at him, calling her name sharply, "Shut the fuck up, why don't ya?" Her head snapped around as she started to say something back to him, Evan not noticing that she had missed a rung until it was too late. Her hand flew up as she felt herself falling, her body twisting just enough for the stock on the gun to catch and the strap to wrap tightly around her right arm in a vice. Both Glenn and Daryl heard the sickening crack of her arm as her weight continued to pull her down and her body crashed into the ladder, the former soldier unable to free the broken limb even as she dangled in the air. "Evan!" Daryl scaled the ladder and pulled her towards him, unable to think past the fact that she was screaming in pain. "I got ya," he said, wrapping an arm around her waist to support her weight and pulling his knife from his hip. He cut her down and lowered her down to Glenn's arms, Evan having to force herself to stop screaming.

The hunter followed her down and proceeded to rip off one of his sleeves to fashion a sling for her arm. She screamed as soon as he moved to wrap it around her chest securely, the pain crippling her to the point that Glenn was having to support her full body weight. "My chest Daryl. My chest is on fire and I can't breathe," she gasped out, her partner moving to hoist her to her feet gingerly. The two men started walking her to the house before Evan collapsed, Daryl pulling her up into his arms.

"Shit, she's broken at least a rib- and it might be sitting on her lung. Hershel! James!"

Daryl continued to shout to the house for them, the younger man appearing in the doorway before running to meet them once he saw that it was his friend. "What happened," the medic asked, reaching out to take her from Daryl.

"Fell off the windmill but her arm got caught and she broke it- Daryl thinks she fucked up some ribs too," Glenn replied, the hunter moving past James to carry her inside. Lori was standing in the foyer, looking anxiously at them, "Where are Rick and Shane? There was a gunshot and-" Daryl cut Lori off, glaring at her angrily as he moved to put Evan on the couch. "If ya want them, get them yer self and move outta my way, woman! Hershel, we need ya down here!"

The older woman moved away from him then, taking the stairs two at a time and disappearing from their sight. James cut Evan's shirt off of her and began to examine her chest, seeing the blood already starting to collect underneath the skin to form bruises as the doctor joined them with his medical bag in hand. "How many ribs," Hershel questioned, hearing how labored Evan's breathing was. The younger man counted again to make sure before turning to speak quietly over his shoulder, trying not to alarm Evan or Daryl, "There's three broken and one that's probably fractured- Hershel, she's pregnant, though. If she hit hard enough…"

"We'll worry about that later," the doctor replied, opening his bag and pulling out a few rolls of gauze. "Sit her up."

Rick could hear the scream from the house as he and Carl walked back, wondering what had happened up at head. He had just started to pick up a run before his son pulled on his shirt sleeve, "Dad, what happened? Were you guys attacked in the field? How did Shane die?" The sheriff debated whether or not to tell him the truth before pausing, moving to take a knee so that he was face to face with Carl. "You know that Shane has been… different lately, ever since we came to the farm. At first, I thought it was just because of Evan, but it wasn't. He wanted- he wanted you and mom, Carl. And to have you, I would have to be gone, like I was in the beginning. Shane killed Randall to get me separated from the others," Rick murmured, seeing the confusion in his son's eyes. Carl looked at him in disbelief before taking a step back and looked down at the gun he still held in his hand. "Shane was gonna kill you…"

The older Grimes started to respond before noticing a movement in the trees over Carl's shoulders, standing slowly as the silence of the night was broken by a haunting chorus of menacing growls. Dozens and dozens of walkers started to emerge from the trees, approaching them from all directions. "Run Carl!"

Together, they ran for their lives, hearing the horde continue to grow behind them. Rick knew they couldn't make it to the house and so he pulled Carl towards the barn, the two of them barricading themselves inside.

"What do we do, dad? What do we do?"

Lori searched the upstairs of the house, becoming increasingly frantic as she looked for her son. With Rick gone, she needed him close and yet, no one had seen him since the children were herded upstairs.

She went to Evan's girls in a last resort, Carter leaving her post in the window when she was called. "Hey honey, have you seen Carl? I can't find him anywhere-" The young girl's eyes flashed downward and a guilty look flashed across her face, "He said he was going outside to get a gun from the car so he could help with our watch… He's not here, Lori."

"Oh God."


	39. I Won't Stand By You When Its Over

Lori ran outside to stand on the porch and call for her missing son before seeing the walker moving to surround the barn in the distance, horrified. She retreated back into the house with her hand clasped over her mouth, trying not to scream. T-Dog looked up from his post in the foyer and saw the blood literally drain from her face, standing, "Lori? Lori, what's wrong?"

"Walkers. Carl and Rick are both out there and there are walkers everywhere," she whispered, numbed by shock. T-Dog moved to stare out the window to the left of the front door before running into the kitchen to where the others were. "Y'all, we got a big problem- another horde moved in and they're headed right for the house."

The fear in the room was palpable, the rest of the survivors moving to grab their weapons. Daryl was holding onto Evan as tightly as he could, unsure if he should leave her or not- she was effectively out of commission in her current situation, nearly immobilized by the temporary sling and her untreated pain. "Evan," he said lowly, the unspoken question clear in his voice. She grimaced and nodded, feeling his support leave her as she was left to keep herself upright, "Don't get yourself killed, Daryl. Go." He kissed her before picking up her gun and moving to the front of the house, standing beside Hershel as they looked at the enormous horde bearing down on the farmhouse. Daryl couldn't help the sharp breath he took in, feeling a benign sort of pain twist his insides as the thought of failure here flashed across his mind. "You can go if you want. Take Evan and your daughters, and run," the old man said, moving to load his shotgun.

"Ya gonna take them all on, old man," Daryl asked, raising his gun to his shoulder as they were joined by the rest of the group who were able to take a stand. Hershel nodded, even as unsure of himself as he was, determined not to lose his farm, "We have guns, Daryl. This is my farm, my home and I'll die here."

The hunter looked out across the farm again and let out a sharp exhale, swallowing the knot in his throat. "Guess it's as good a night as any." He stepped off the porch and got onto his motorcycle, "Get these vehicles moving! Let's take them out!"

Rick spread gasoline on the floor of the barn before hearing the vehicles starting up just a ways from them, knowing that the others were most likely fleeing for their lives. "Carl, we gotta move! Get up the loft and wait," the sheriff said, handing his lighter to the young boy as he sprinted towards the barn door where the walkers were moving against it. He pulled on the latch with all his might, seeing it strain against the weight of the bodies there, letting out a cry as it finally gave. Rick sprinted for the ladder as they flooded in, the corpses moving after him as he climbed upwards out of their clawing reach. "Now Carl!"

Everyone stopped for the briefest second as the barn went up in flames, Jimmy lowering his gun from where he was firing on the growing mass of walkers. "Hershel! That's gotta be Rick in the barn," the young man, taking action for the first time that the Atlanta survivors had seen. The older man gave him silent permission as Jimmy dropped his weapon and went for the RV, feeling the keys weight in his pocket.

Maggie and T-Dog parted from circling the walkers to allow him through, hearing the pinging of bullets around them as Glenn, Andrea, Carter and Kennedy gave them cover from the house, Daryl doing the same from his motorcycle as he raced around them.

Rick hung out of the loft's window as he saw the RV approaching, grabbing his son as the flames raged below them. "Jump on," Jimmy shouted out of the window, the sheriff holding tight to Carl as the RV came to a stop below. He saw the walkers starting to surround it, shooting down into the writhing, stinking mass of decaying bodies as they tried to get to the young man inside. Carl jumped and his father followed after him, the young boy looking at his father, "Dad, they're going to kill Jimmy!" Rick looked over the side and saw the door give underneath the pressure against it, knowing that he couldn't get inside without going through them.

"Carl, I'm sorry," Rick said, wrapping his arms around his son and pulling him with him over the side of the RV.

Evan could hear the chaos outside and looked over her shoulder to where her people were fighting to defend the farm, feeling herself grow cold at the sight. She fought to get to her feet, pushing herself along the wall to the bottom of the stairs. "Kennedy, Carter! Lincoln! We have to go," Evan shouted, feeling the pressure on her chest grow with every breath she took. "Girls!"

They came running, Kennedy holding Jude in her arms and Carter leading Fenris down the stairs, Lincoln bringing up the rear. "Mom? Mom, where do we go? What do we do," Kennedy asked, looking around at their approaching doom.

"Outside," Evan said laboredly, sinking down onto the stairs. "I'm… right behind you."

Lincoln looked back at her nervously before doing as she asked, Evan waiting until the kids were out of the door to cough up the blood that had risen in her throat. She drug her arm across her mouth and let her head fall back against the wall, knowing that it was a not a good sign, "Shit."

"We need to leave!"

Carol pulled on Lori's arm as the woman looked for any sign of her husband and son in the bedlam, unwilling to flee. "There are too many of them for us to fight! We are going to die here if we don't run now," Carol said, seeing the conflict warring in her friend's eyes. And then Lori was moving with her, the two women leading Beth and Patricia across the front lawn to where T-Dog's pickup was sitting idle. James was shouting at them from the car, his words lost in the rising din of the attack as Lincoln provided cover from the sunroof of Maggie's car.

"Mom," Carter shouted, looking back over her shoulder at her mother before running to her aid. The young girl hoisted Evan to her feet even as she screamed in pain, pulling her outside and towards the truck.

Lori and Carol reached the bed of the pickup just as the walkers swarmed around them, both women horrified as they saw Patricia being pulled into the waiting hands and teeth. They pulled Beth away from her just moments before teeth came together where her arm had been, Kennedy, Jude and Fenris making it just as the walkers hit from both sides. "Wait," Evan shouted, throwing herself forward as she held on tightly to her daughter's forearm. However, she knew that she didn't have enough strength to pull her up, calling for Andrea as the woman ran to join them as well. "Hey! We have to go," T-Dog shouted as he hit the gas, Carter's fingers slipping away from her mother's. They screamed for one another as the distance between them grew, Evan watching in horror as she tried to outrun the walkers behind her.

"Carter!"

The young girl turned just as Andrea practically tackled her from out of nowhere, both of them falling over one another as they moved to scramble out of the crush. "My mom and my sisters," Carter cried, feeling the tight hand that curled around hers and pulled her through the darkness.

"We'll find them, I promise," Andrea said, trying to do what she could to get the child to safety. "But we have to run first."

Daryl paused away from the worst of the chaos, watching through the smoke and the fog as the walkers overran the farm. The other cars sped off into the distance and he realized that they had lost, that the safe haven that had fought for- nearly killed for- was gone.

Evan screamed for them to go back, trying to throw herself from the truck even as Lori and Carol held her down. "We have to go back! That's my daughter- you left my daughter," she cried, collapsing onto the floor of the bed. Kennedy brushed her hair back comfortingly, the tears racing down her cheeks, "Its okay mom…"

The former soldier finally let her pain overwhelm her and she let go, noting the fading feeling she felt reminded her a lot less of unconsciousness and a lot more like dying.

* * *

"What else can we do?"

Daryl's muffled voice filtered in through Evan's awareness, the woman hearing a response that was lost to the roaring in her ears. She felt heavy, as if she had been drugged- and she realized that she probably had- the former soldier fighting her own body to open her eyes.

She was in the bed of one of the trucks, the steel tempered by the heavy blankets between it and her body, Evan feeling that she was naked but covered in a thin sheet.

For a moment she was confused as to why they were there, but then the horrifying flashbacks of their last moments on the farm hit her, Evan unable to see anything other than Carter's eyes as they had been torn apart. "No," she choked out, pushing her body over onto her side with her one half-dead, but useable hand, feeling her arm wrapped tightly against her chest. Evan could hear people moving towards her as she pulled herself over the side of the truck, allowing her head to hang as the shock made her stomach seize up. Gentle hands moved to pull back her hair, Daryl's voice gruff with the emotion he tried to control, "Take it easy, Ev. Calm down." But her hysterics continued, Evan trying to speak through her tears even as the realization that the previous night had truly happened. "Tell me she's here Daryl, please. Tell me that I didn't lose her- I didn't lose her!" He could only cradle her head to his chest once he had climbed into the truck bed beside her, shaking his head and rocking her back and forth as she sobbed uncontrollably.

"I'm sorry baby…"

"We have to go back for her," Evan said, fighting to speak even as the pain in her chest took her breath away. He held her tighter, looking over her shoulder at where Rick and James stood, echoing the sheriff's words from their earlier conversation, "Evan… even if somehow, she and Andrea survived, they wouldn't be hanging around the farm. We can't- can't risk going back; we have to let Carter go."

The former soldier pulled herself away from Daryl then, wrapping herself up in the sheet as best she could with one hand, her eyes alive with anger and pain. She was speechless as she looked at him, Rick moving into her field of vision. "Look, we don't have enough gas or food or supplies or bodies to do a search like that. And Carter's a tough kid… but she's just a kid, Evan. She couldn't have survived that," the sheriff said, seeing her retreat into the furthest corner of the truck bed.

"Give me my clothes."

She was silent as Daryl dug out a clean set of clothes, Rick and James leaving so that he could help her get dressed. "Go away," Evan snapped, snatching the clothes away from him as her eyes narrowed. He looked at her and sighed, shaking his head, "Ya can't do it by yer self."

Evan took that as a challenge and kicked the sheet off, so angry that she didn't care if the entire world saw her stark naked. The hunter watched her with his jaw set as she stood up and worked her way into her jeans with one hand, Evan flinging her shirt over her head successfully before climbing out of the truck. "I'll do whatever I have to do to get her back and I'll do it alone if I have to," she said with naked hatred in her voice, the hunter calling her name as she moved to open the cab door.

The entire group was staring at them as he tried to reason with her, Rick seeing the determination on her face and knowing that he had to stop her once and for all from going after Carter. "Evan, no one's going anywhere," he said through his teeth, the woman regarding him with a callous look.

"Fuck you! I'm not sitting here while she waits for me to come for her-"

"She is dead," Rick shouted, making her stop dead in her tracks. "Whether she's been torn to pieces or bit… or she somehow found a way to get off the farm, she can't survive out there. She was already infected- we all are."

He felt their eyes on him, all of them silent with shock as they let that truth sink in. Only Daryl had enough of his wits about him to question Rick, his eyes narrowing in disbelief, "What?" The sheriff took a step back away from the fire they had built to stave off the chilly autumn air, needing a moment before he could speak and let go of the terrible secret he had been keeping long before they had ever made it to Evan and then to the farm. "At the CDC, Jenner told me that whatever this disease is, we all carry it."

The former soldier thought of the child growing within her and leaned back against the truck for support, feeling all of the fight leave her- if there was anything she had not ever wanted to hear, it was that. It was the confirmation that there was no hope for a better tomorrow, a future for her children and herself; it was the truth Hershel had stumbled onto long before she had. "No. It's not true; it can't be. Not inside of me..." Lori stood and looked at her husband, her bottom lip trembling, "You knew this whole time and you- you never said anything!" He turned on her, a tense muscle twitching in his cheek as he sought to keep some control over himself. "How could I have known for sure, Lori? You saw how crazy that man was- and what if I had said anything? Would it have made a difference," Rick questioned, Glenn taking to his feet as well as he challenged his friend and leader. "That was not your call to make!"

"Well, I thought it best that you didn't know."

They were all silent again until Evan regained her feet and took one last look at Rick before throwing down her gun, something dimming in her eyes they all didn't quite understand, "I'm done."

She turned to Daryl and found that she couldn't meet his gaze, not wanting to see this truth reflected in his eyes. "We have to go. We need to take the girls and go- we can take our chances out there," Evan murmured, the hunter uncomfortable having her saying something like that in front of their friends and what he considered their family. He didn't get a chance to respond before Rick did, the sheriff practically barking at her as he finally let go of everything he had been holding inside of him, "And what, you'll leave the rest of us to fend for ourselves after all we've been through? How dare you cut out and run now?"

"I am the wrong bitch to fuck with right now, Grimes and you better take a step back right now," the woman replied, menacing even in her weakened state. "How the fuck do you expect me to stand by you when you have lied to me all this time, done things your own way? How dare you get on me for doing the same?"

Rick exploded then, lashing out at all of them as the weight of what they had been through fell directly onto his solitary shoulders. "I did what I had to in order to keep this group together and alive! I've been doing that all along, no matter what: I didn't ask for this! I killed my best friend for you people, for Christ sake! You saw how he was like: how he pushed me, how he compromised us, how he threatened us. He staged the whole Randall thing after he killed him in the woods, led me out into the fields so he could put a bullet in my back; he planned that. He gave me no choice! He was my friend, but he came after me. My hands are clean! Maybe you are better off without me Evan- maybe you all are so go ahead and leave," he snapped, the words spilling from his lips. She heard the challenge in his voice but only dug her heels in- Evan knew if she took one step from where she had planted herself, she might just kill him. "I say there's a place for us, but maybe- maybe it's just another pipe dream, maybe I'm just fooling myself again. Why don't you go out and find out for yourselves then, hm? Send me a fucking postcard, why don't you? Go on Evan, Daryl, there's the door. If any of you can do better than what I have thus far, let's see how far you get on your own." When no one moved, he nodded and looked at them from across the fire, his face cast in shadows that made him seem just as evil as his words, "No takers then? That's fine by me but get one thing straight... you're staying, Evan. And Daryl and Glenn and Maggie and Carol and all the rest of you! This isn't a democracy anymore."

"And you're as dead to me as my daughter," Evan said before turning away and walking off into the darkness…

They panted hard as they ran through the woods, Andrea pulling Carter along. They had fought their way out of the heaviest part of the horde at the farm, but there were still many walkers in their path, the two trying to make it to the highway through the maze of the forest. Andrea was down to a small knife, using it against a number of walkers that came too close for comfort. "We have to keep going Carter! Keep moving," she said, seeing the girl's footsteps falter.

And then she stumbled, crying out for Andrea as the walkers bore down on top of them. "No-" The walker falling on top of Carter was swiftly decapitated, both of them looking in shock to where salvation had come in the form of a hooded figure. Distinctly feminine, the woman lowered her bloody sword to her side, half-hidden in the shadow of the trees. She appeared to be holding a chain connected to two walkers, both with their arms severed and their jaws missing.

"You two look like you could use a hand…"

* * *

**So this brings to a close what I think I'm going to call "Book One" of _I'm Still Here_ just for writing purposes; the next few chapters are a completely different story full of great one-shots that I wrote chronicling the missing months between Seasons 2 and 3 called "The Winter". I was going to post them as a separate story away from this one but it didn't seem to make any sense to do that when all I'm going to do is continue the Season 3 story (Book Two) here when its all said and done. So I hope you have enjoyed this part of _I'm Still Here_ and stick around for the rest of this story to unfold because it only gets better from here. We've said goodbye to some characters and we're probably going to bid a few more farewell before they escape the backwoods of post-apocalyptic Georgia, but we'll get some new guys in here as well to round out the story lines- hang in there; you're in for a bit of a bumpy ride (or in politically correct terms, one hell of an emotional roller coaster)...**


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